《一百個斷尾故》 - [Story 46－隨心而攝]

一個人拎住部相機，喺一個冇人嘅沙灘上行...

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回頭一望...就只留下自己嘅腳印...

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左影影...右影影...踎低又影影...

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沙又有影...海又有影...石又有影...舊木橋又有影...舊木船都有影...

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由中午走到過嚟影，一路影到開始日落，都影咗過百張相...都係冇一張啱心水...

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點解好似...總係差少少...就係唔夠有Feel㗎呢？

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我坐喺岩石上，望住個海發呆...

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聽住海浪聲，吹住海風，望住海水湧埋嚟...

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今日都好大風呢...定係呢邊特別大風？

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人跡罕至嘅沙灘，就連剛才行過嘅足印都俾風吹返平...就好似從來都冇存在過一樣...

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歷史又係唔係可以被風輕輕吹走？

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我望住個日落開始變金黃...就喺呢個時候，我感覺到好似有人行緊過嚟！

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我回頭一望，係一個...男人？

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個男人好奇咁望住我手上部相機咁行到嚟我身邊：「一個女仔嚟影相？」

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『嗯...』我點點頭...

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講真你咁樣問我，我應唔應該對你有戒心？

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「好似...有啲迷惘咁喎...」個男人打量住我，「影得唔啱心水？」

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『都係...』我睇個男人又好似冇乜嘢咁...正正常常...

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「可唔可以俾我睇吓？」個男人向我攤開手。

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『哦...都可以...』應該都冇乜問題嘅...

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我交咗部相機俾個男人，佢碌碌咁望我影嘅相...

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「嗯嗯...」個男人點點頭，再點點頭...然後就對住條爛木橋影咗一張！再交到我手。

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我一睇...嘩！好有Feel呀！！！

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就係要呢種Feel喇！一種勁滄桑！仲帶住淡淡然嘅悲哀！就好似呢個男人咁！

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冇錯！呢個男人不論面上...甚至身上都散發住淡淡然嘅悲哀！

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『你...』我打量住呢個男人，『你都係攝影師？』

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「唔...都算係嘅～」個男人尷尷尬尬摸摸頭，「仲以為應該好多人都識我...原來我都唔係咁出名～」

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係一個出名嘅攝影師？

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『咁你可唔可以教我點先影到呢種Feel嘅相吖？』我指指手上部相機！裡面嗰張男人影嘅相！

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「嗯？呢種Feel？」男人望一望張相，又望一望我，「其實你自己本身都帶住呢種Feel...」

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『我？』我有咩？

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「嗯...」男人點點頭，「我睇你啲相，都帶有點點哀愁嘅感覺...」

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我都帶有...點點哀愁...

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「我哋影相...唔單止係攝靈魂入菲林裡面...仲會反映攝影者嘅感受...」

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反映攝影者嘅感受...

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「當我哋按下快門嘅一刻...我哋嘅感受就會經由快門，傳達到菲林之中...與影像融合...」

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我哋嘅感受...會同影像融合...

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「當然啦～而家嘅數碼相機都係一樣～只要攝影者本身嘅感受夠強～」

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本身嘅感受夠強...

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「我睇你...」個男人打量住我，「都只係浸得唔夠耐姐～」

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『吓？』浸得唔夠耐？

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「嗯...」個男人點點頭，「就好似紅酒一樣...越耐越純...」

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好似紅酒一樣...

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「但係真係有必要？」個男人仲係打量住我。

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『吓？』真係有必要？

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「有時候...」男人雙手插褲袋，望住個大海，「放低會更好...」

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放低...

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「唔好浸到入晒骨...靈魂都被侵蝕透...返唔到轉頭...」男人一面哀愁咁望住個大海...

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入晒骨...侵蝕透...返唔到轉頭...

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竟然俾我撞破阿Dick同個Model搞埋一齊...

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仲要真係捉姦在床嗰隻！一上到佢Studio就見到佢同個Model搞緊！

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好傷心...真係好傷心！

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縱使呢段時間都有人氹返我...但心傷咗始終都係心傷咗...喺我深心處總係留下一份傷痛...

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「你仲有機會嘅...」男人望我一眼...點點頭...

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我仲有機會...

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「俾個心好好咁埋口...」

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俾個心好好咁埋口...

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『呃...係呢！點稱呼吖？有冇聯絡方法？我Send返張相俾你...』話晒張相嘅藝術成份咁高！

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「我？我姓岳～張相就唔使Send返俾我喇～當係...我送俾你啦～」呢個姓岳嘅男人就背住我揮揮手，向前行。

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『哦...Bye...』望住呢個姓岳嘅男人越行越遠...越行越遠...喺沙灘上留下足跡...

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我再望住手上部相機...帶住淡淡然悲哀又勁滄桑嘅爛木橋...

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『到底你經過什麼事？』又過咗幾耐幾耐呢？

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假如我唔放低...過多十年...廿年...我又會唔會變到好似佢咁？

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永遠帶住點點哀愁咁活下去...

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我拎部電話出嚟睇睇...睇返阿Roy Send俾我嘅Message...

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佢話鍾意咗我...可唔可以俾次機會佢...

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都已經成半個月，我都唔知點俾答覆佢...只係話俾啲時間我諗諗...

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同樣都係大我差唔多十年，都係廿幾歲嘅男人...會唔會只會再一次受傷呢？

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要放低...或者唔止係放低個人...感情...

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要做到真正嘅放低...趁住仲未入晒骨...仲未侵蝕透...仲有機會！

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喺日落黃昏到盡頭...個天開始變藍之時，我就袋返好部電話！拎埋部相機去搭車！

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我有啲心急！喺一段漫長嘅車程！

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一到站落車，我立即拔足狂奔！

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一路跑！一路跑！然後就俾我跑到嚟Salon！

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咁啱阿Roy行到出嚟，帶點驚訝咁打量住我：「Elle？」

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『Roy...嗄！嗄...』我抖晒大氣！『我哋...一齊啦！』

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