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「小姐,你要不要乾脆把獵X作者富X抓到小黑屋中?」那個未來經常斷坑的人,絕對要抓去關小黑屋,請人好好創作。
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現在當演員還真累啊,還要提防粉絲的報復、熱情追人。
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小姐你還真有這打算!
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「等片子出來之後我要去買回家看。」因為喜歡的角色死掉抽了抽鼻子的喵喵,如此激昂發言著;「那個可惡的壞人,以後在街上看到她一次我就打她一次。」
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『恭喜宿主獲得5點吐槽點。』
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某某巨星慘遭巨貓狂刨後被活埋,幸好有善良路人發現拯救可憐的巨星,巨星因此換上恐貓症。
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也可以是某某知名巨星當街被粉絲蓋布袋痛扁一頓,請讓本台記者獨家專訪。
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不出所料喵喵喜歡上叫東的配角,在看到東吃便當的那一幕徹底傷心起來,相信這能力者有心明日報紙頭條是……某某知名巨星被巨貓海K一頓。
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進去電影院後,看了我跟小凜昨日看過兩個半小時那部冒險類電影。
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不過也沒說先去買之類的,因此我沒放在心上。
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很快地我們進入電影院看電影,在那之前小凜跟喵喵注意到一旁的攤販所販賣的物品。
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其實最好報答方式就是不給人出糗好好表現一二,讓人做體面有光的帶導人。
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開學之後買些好吃的請學長吃,還是買禮物送人好?
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「了解,我會好好謝謝學長。」
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否則我要幫公會打白功,幫某隻愛錢的人馬免費勞動。
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「漾漾當時狀況屬於突發狀況,並非正式任務所以沒有賞金,是冰與炎的閣下幫你申請來的。」小凜如實告訴人,這才讓我了解我有那一筆錢要感謝學長。
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疑問三連,只有滿頭問號看著三位美少女,不知為何我會背突然提起。
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我是誰?我在哪?花生什麼事?
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疑!!?
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「漾漾,你要謝謝你學長喔。」忽然之間,我再度被捲入話題之中。
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能力者的這種比賽還真的讓人無法理解,不是沒破壞最好不過嗎?為何大家都要這麼比賽?
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比賽誰造成的破壞少?比誰的罰金少嗎?
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你們呀,這算是一種比賽嗎?
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「庚庚也被請過。」喵喵跟學姊互算著對方造成的破壞,反觀我家小凜無奈聳聳肩膀:「幸好罰款不多,沒庚學姊破壞造成嚴重。」
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你們這票人該不會都屬二哈吧?這麼會拆家。
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「小凜上次出任務結果不小心將別人的牧場燒沒了,也是費了點功夫復原。」原來小凜也會搞大破壞啊,不得不說能力者破壞力真旺盛。
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…
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…….
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「漾漾日後要好好保持,你第一次出任務的冷靜。」庚學姊忽然拋出這句,令人不解的話來;「很多人出任務都會打壞東西,例如喵喵上次轟了別人的古跡,結果費了好大一翻功夫才將古跡還原本來的樣子沒被發現,也被請了很大筆錢。」
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庚學姊忽然開口。
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這應該可以給學姊、喵喵留下很印象吧?不會覺得我這男生態度很不好之類吧?
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「我已經買好票了,下次請漾漾請大家看電影。」庚學姊笑呵呵地說著,給人如沐春風的感官:「好,下次我請大家看電影。」
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拿錢請人看電影是一種禮貌,特別是與認識沒多久的人見面,AA制不是一種好表現,最好表達人大方客氣才能給人留下好印象。
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當了能力者之後,我的約會基金保證可以每次約會都有3萬元以上,所以不用為了錢頭痛。
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沒算的話,我的約會資金只剩下1萬2千元,要好好掳老媽才能多拿一點約會資金,誰叫我每天存的錢只有10到100之間,真的很尷尬。
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大概有6千元可用,這對於學生族的我而言已經是一筆…..呃,很小的額度,如果把驅鬼獎金算在內,這筆錢真的小到不能再小。
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「你們想看哪部電影?」說著,含淚從我的約會資金中以及剛剛老媽贊助的今日開銷中,衡量自己的預算有多少。
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我與小妖精都同時開口,默契好到無話可說。
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「學姊早。」
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「學姊早。」
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「漾漾、小凜,早。」學姊跟我們打聲招呼。
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我們三人過了馬路看到電影院下庚學姊身穿一套黑色系的貼身套裝,整個人顯得優雅美麗,還讓路過的不少行人多留一幾眼。
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看著喵喵衝著馬路另一端的電影院下的人影揮揮手,對面也做出一樣的動作來。
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啊!現在不是分心的時候。
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如果去咖啡廳例如星X克,或是去小X、全X、萊X富倒是有可能遇到一些大人,可惜這些大人都在趕時間未必會多做停留。
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這邊非假日的時候,要等到人多必須過中午後,更不用說路過的人皆是上班族,因此沒時間停下看電影打發時間等等的。
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目前沒什麼人在,人煙十分稀少。
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「庚庚已經到了。」原本的話題很快就結束,因為我們已經來到目的地電影院。
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『恭喜宿主獲得5點吐槽點。』
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假設鬼族有狂犬病,背咬到直接得病發病多麼恐怖啊!
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我寧願當移動砲台,也不想跟鬼族打進戰,誰知鬼族有沒有狂犬病,被咬了會不會被感染。
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「也可以學學長使槍,相信學長會多教樣樣你幾手的。」小姐你先確定我在這方面是否有天賦?
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好啦,知道了。
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『等時間到了,自然會有。』簡單一句,給人緣分到了就會有的說詞。
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好啦,我保證會跟研究螺X丸一樣不依賴吐吐,可是…..哈哈哈!可以開劍專屬卡池,讓我抽嗎?
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『請漾漾別過於依賴系統,很多宿主都過於依賴吐吐導致成長緩慢。』這一吐槽出現,真的讓人尷尬著。
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只要有武技、點數足夠,足以省下十年光陰。
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「小姐,請問劍術學幾年才能不輸給武術型白袍。」礙於起步晚,只能寄託於小名叫吐吐的系統上,「喵喵想想看,至少十年光陰不能少。」從喵喵口中得到的答案,更加證明系統的優秀之處。
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要說嗎?說出來丟臉。
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哈哈哈!
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要說會的武器大概是槍,我會雲騎槍法,只是……從未使用過,身手到底如何還是一大未知數,與高手過招大概處處都存在致命危險。
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我又不是甘道夫還是從未來手機裡面玩F O裡面未來網友稱呼G8人的梅林,我可不是什麼劍術高手。
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「小凜,你們在研究適合漾漾的風格。」話題不知為何來到我身上,喵喵一臉沉思:「小凜你打算讓漾漾走遠距離法師套路雖然合適,不過喵喵建議讓漾漾學劍法,現在法師拿劍才帥。」
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女孩子聊天男生最好乖乖閉嘴,所以我這一路上聽著這兩少女聊天哈啦,而我則是默默地走著自己的路。
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小妖精,你忘了狐狸本身就是犬科動物,好像你也沒什麼影響。
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「說好了,除非有任務否則食言要吞一千根針。」喵喵開出玩笑般的處罰,小凜也笑笑回;「沒問題,誰食言誰就是狗狗。」
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女孩子聊天最好不要去打擾,這是閨密之間的聊天,男孩子要退散。
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「喵喵,不如你今晚來我家吃晚餐如何?」小凜瞬間邀約人去她家,至於我今晚就不去找人。
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只是不知道底該怎麼開口才好?這也讓人陷入著尷尬局面,完全不知該怎麼辦才好。
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由於跟喵喵認識還沒多久,不知該怎麼婉拒人,而且這檔子事我可做不了主,這件事指有小凜才能夠做主,而我現在也只是一個男友,還不是什麼丈夫之類的,沒權幫人做出任何決定。
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我該怎麼不傷害大家的情誼轉移話題?
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哀~為何總有人打算坑我這無辜弱小的妖師?
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看著喵喵期待的眼神,真的不知該怎麼應對才好,總不能出賣我家的小妖精吧?
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「喵喵,小凜不是貨物是活生生的人。」狐狸,心底補充這兩個字。
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「帶導是學長,伯母又會一手好菜,連凜凜也願意為漾漾煮飯,漾漾你根本就是人生贏家!!!喵喵好羨慕!」喵喵一臉頑皮表情竄到我背後,下一刻輕輕捶打我的背:「漾漾,快把你家凜凜讓渡給喵喵!」
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結果危沒解除,反而換來喵喵更加羨慕。
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眼神掃一下一旁黏在我手臂上的小妖精,她一秒領會我的眼神含意,「喵喵,我也跟伯母學過幾手,找時間我煮給大家吃如何?」直接幫我解圍。
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小凜就決定是你了。
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「好羨慕漾漾喔,每天都可以吃伯母的料理。」顯然我媽廚藝能夠征服神獸,喵喵現在一臉羨慕看來。
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至於男女主角的事就不提,誰也不喜歡被劇透。
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據透一下,喵喵應該會喜歡一個叫東的配角,只是那個配角…..哈哈哈!GG吃便當了,還是在最後被敵人給秒殺。
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該說實話嗎?我跟小凜早就看過了,昨日我用存下來的約會基金帶小凜去看那部電影了。
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那個啊!最近看預告片感覺不錯。
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「最近剛好有一部電影上映,喵喵想說看電影是很棒的放鬆。」喵喵愉快地說著,還告訴我電影的事:「這是一部冒險電影剛上映不久,正好可以去看。」
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找水找小凜、打怪找小凜、迷路找小凜,萬事都找小凜,這麼一來小凜到底是我的女友還是我的保母?
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總不能每次遇到困難就叫小凜,這樣真的很尷尬耶!
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小凜當初就已經開導過我了,這段時間就是好好學習以備不時之需,我也打算好好努力學習超越小凜。
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真的是要好好感謝學長才行,說實話我的心態早已調整完畢。
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「學長擔心你的心態還沒調整好,拜託喵喵跟庚庚來帶你出去玩。」喵喵將事情原委交代清楚,也就是我家帶導學長擔心我的心態還沒調整好,所以請人帶我出去玩玩。
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「對了!喵喵你怎麼邀約我?」雖說是有小凜陪伴還有可能,不知為何喵喵主要邀請的對象是我。
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先給我等一下!我跟喵喵不熟,只有一面之緣,為何喵喵會來邀請我看電影,如果是邀請小凜還有道理。
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哈哈哈!少女上吧!真的用你的熱情溶化萬年冰山。
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『恭喜宿主獲得15點吐槽點。』
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喵喵上吧!是用熱情如火融化學長這個萬年冰山,還是大姨媽來的美少年?
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小姐,請別指桑…..帶入好嗎?把我看成學長崇拜著,你有種去當著本人的面投出崇拜與愛慕。
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喵喵還一臉羨慕看來;「第一次出任務,漾漾竟然沒被罰款,好厲害!」眼神上已經藏不住的對學長的崇拜愛慕。
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「如果不是學長教導人,我大概會發楞不知該做什麼。」誰叫我什麼都沒有,大概會用螺X丸拆家。
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誰可以保證你吃的東西沒問題,不會趁機詛咒人之類的。
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當時小凜告訴我,「那個叫貓王的種族不知是誰的祖先嘴賤吃了一隻鳳凰,導致整個貓王族被詛咒,淪為鳳凰族的坐騎,因此可以見到守世界特產畫面,鳥其貓。」聽完這簡化故事後,只有一個感想千萬不要嘴賤亂吃。
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當初聽到喵喵是鳳凰寵物還是大貓的時候,只有一個感想鳥養貓正常嗎?難道鳳凰不是貓的備用糧食?
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…嗯,也不能說是後裔,實際上喵喵就是一隻鳳凰。
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…….
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這段時間小凜也幫我補充公會方面的知識,例如我面前這個喵喵其實是一隻名叫鳳凰的神獸後裔。
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「還好啦,是學長教導的好。」反正把鍋甩給黑袍就好,誰叫黑袍是公會最高級別的袍級。
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否則能力者少女一害羞、羞恥,很有可能非常暴力將人給滅口,所以還是轉移一下話題吧。
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…本能告訴我,千萬不要問喵喵變出什麼東西來。
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…….
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「所以漾漾第一次驅鬼這麼厲害!第一次使用爆符可以變出想要的東西來。」喵喵一臉崇景看著人,「哪像喵喵第一次變出來的東西,還不小心把一顆千年老樹給夭折。」
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話題偏了,目前我們來到公園這。
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哀~反正早就習慣自己在褚家根本沒地位這檔子事,除非分家!否則要地位永遠沒地位。
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理由是多帶兩位可愛的女生出去玩,別整天宅在家中發呆發楞生黴,根本不管我的意願。
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大約早上九點多,我換好衣服被老媽趕出家門。
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(漾漾視角)
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