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再醒來的時候。我坐在醫院冰涼的走廊長椅上。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zUwfYmyIA
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「獄寺？你醒了？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPkVn9mzaO
正依靠的肩膀瘦弱卻堅定，安心的氣息。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkTdJQy5nG
我抬頭撞上十代首領滿是擔憂與憐憫的目光，他的臉蒼白至無血色。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA70vEPzX2F
「醒來就好醒來就好，哪裡還痛麼？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcZW8u1o1L
我機械的搖頭，喉嚨幹到吐不出完整句子。如往常時，我也許會馬上從他懷裏脫逃出來，用敬語不停對剛才自己的無理舉動道歉。然而現在，我想任性一下。因為我太過於需要，這個容我卸下防備，縱我袒露軟弱的避風港。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOeLHtn9iV
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchltUvmMjs
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkEavwKNP8O
「下次不要再這麽莽撞了，知道嗎！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JMxOUZ13l
他手掌輕緩的，若有若無撫著我的背脊，上面附有母親的溫度。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8Ev8STmHo
走道裏三兩個人焦慮的走過，急診室的氣氛不如想像中那麽窒息，令人惶恐的死寂，偶爾傳來的幾聲哀號。黑夜有些冰冷，我們依賴在一起像是互相取暖。縱然我清楚自己幷不瞭解，也無從瞭解到十代目的私人生活。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWsuU6t2Wjx
他是否有在戀愛？或許也會因爲思念而焦慮，甚至是被傷害後的迷茫？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxYnMxF4yO
總能看透我的十代首領，無需我多言，也知道我在被什麽羈絆著動彈不得的十代首領…40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2s1QCvxQk
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOGwkVblE1f
「十代目……」 委屈，痛苦，這一刻被無形引力吸出開始瓦解我佯裝的堅强…40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hZwGfaGxL
額頭粗略纏著惱人情緒的紗布，手臂的傷口還在隱隱作痛。我真窩囊，明明是要挑釁，卻被對方教訓得要首領幫我善後。現在還要一副孬種樣依賴在需要我保護的人懷中，思考那些有的沒的兒女情長。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5kB5kjVLRd
泄露單相思沒有收穫，但却很輕鬆。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvV3CwwfIdY
罪惡感令山本會對我格外溫柔。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixUF6cpoQS
而且一定不會再發生比這更糟糕的事情，不會再受更深的傷害。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0koGh21ku
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqht10LKMcT
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但是……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5Txytpwmz
嚼不爛的痛苦，理不清的哀傷。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBaxu9nPPa
如果可以將它們藏在某處不被發現……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvX2LbN1u8z
鼻子好酸，眼睛發脹，下一秒我再無法控制自己。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHySLEM33Xc
「好啦，要是想哭的話……」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKyaD6JShVD
「獄寺…我都明白的，明白。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFt7A311ARK
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbsosdk633
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再無法控制的…40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38SCETQysg
「…十…十代…唔……」 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTMD7dn89W
淚如雨下。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GvmgNEsKu
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請原諒我…不會太久…40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuUfndS1KON
就這一小會兒…馬上就會好了……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLKf5495JN7
等這些懦弱的液體流到幹了，就可以再拿起武器…40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjFTW1Cv3T
再不會讓你操心…沒什麽再可以再阻攔我……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYIfIQY3rk
倒帶回曾經單一却安全的生活…不受束縛。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAQoQIfMyP
眼裏只會追隨你一人，其餘不想過問…40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWlDQui2UEC
即使是他……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclhvcGEoih
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPhe3hOOEv
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNsewTPrcz
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山本……你現在正在做什麽？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlo0J7XBlz
是不是正在心疼，被我狠心毆打挂彩的雲雀？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmIECX8YD0
正在爲他細心包扎傷口，用一貫的寵溺與深情語氣。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssMwUGNqdX
那麼那個人映在山本瞳孔中的身影會是怎樣的？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLRHnBV1tB
是不是也在像我一般懷揣著一灌稠濃的漿液，40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12w3C5k9Ad
滿打滿撞撒在各處角落一灘灘，或粘膩得緊貼在身上甩不凈？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLSkbTl2rx
也會想要觸碰他寬廣的肩，還有他燦爛的臉麼。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbIGjxmFPxS
那時，山本的心中會發出怎樣的聲響？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aGtMbt1En
那個応接室裏充斥著怎樣的回憶？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRnOhRv9VL
一直，一直……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZxcRvGbQY
都只有兩個人的吧。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf4IdFp3U0s
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40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXF7ksqkNoo
專門找藉口，多次經過可以裝作偶然相遇他的地方。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjOPfFSa23
哪怕只能見一面，聽一次聲音也可以。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBLNJRjAdT
拼命地思念，使勁掙扎著。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz6svqX3esQ
但是我只明白這點，光是思念就令人快要心痛死。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJofjv3l9jT
而無法離開你的理由，只要這心痛就够了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSF3S8uNpB1
不過，放心吧，這算得了什麽大事。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjm8PRAxvNB
哪怕會親眼見到這些，我也不會像易碎品斷裂，能夠繼續活下去。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Vyac6jQsw
哪怕山本一直惦記著那個人，哪怕再看他同樣充滿不安的神情…40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvEg5ZlHer
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9Eb0XUPE1
我的心也不會輕易崩潰。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsoZJMXi0r
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcO27KHimp
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等傷好到連疤都看不到我才肯回學校上課，山本主動跑過來遞給我筆記。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU76gTaSTYd
我才不相信，他上課能記到重點在紙上，只是翻開了看，了了草草的他的字迹，我讀得到滿滿的認真，還參雜著不應有的，心軟與愧疚。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhSIjmYP2F
一抬頭，發現班裏大部分同學均向我這邊投來複雜目光。有些女生不顧山本此行目的，做作得走過來搭訕，一舉一動連我鶏皮疙瘩掉了一地。 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIaXPYa3Vo
「山本同學，你和獄寺同學認識？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuheZut5meP
「獄寺同學爲什麽從來不說你們是國中同學？！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRRMlnWKM3
「山本同學，這是我自己做的點心，不介意的話就收下吧！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHqT7cmzDR
「山本同學的棒球聽說很厲害，有打算加入棒球社團麽？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7T4mWKabN
「山本同學……」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvTE5aYdOVf
够了都給我滾！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBEpJ2Rjv6J
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkkEyDTOmj
人群聚集一堆嘰嘰喳喳，我完全沒了吃午餐的習慣，逃似的飛奔出教室。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpOUV08hea
任憑山本在後面怎樣喊我的名也顧不上絲毫的猶豫。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMdyNeieGp
我真想馬上找個地洞鉆進去，永遠都不要出來。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUdQFaJHpb
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTi9Sj6i6Sa
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40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYgNqzxesp
「獄寺！等等我！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduWVLOrh4W
我已經記不住自己跑了多久，他竟然一直在後面窮追不捨。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6woaagtmE
沒辦法，根本沒有吃早餐的我肯定敵不過他運動神經發達，只好停下脚步找個地方猛喘大氣。他追上來，扶住靠著墻逐漸下滑的我死不放手，雖然我用眼神威脅他無數次。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPFk6qfjcN
「你很煩……」 我和他上一次對話，好似已經是很久前了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfgNyPrEBrA
他完全忽視了我一切反面的情緒。「一起去福利社買午飯吧！獄寺！」 沒等我反應，乾淨得笑著拽住我走。 醞釀好的拒絕也被他濕熱的掌溫融化。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQzzWk4wOxz
我要被你這樣牽著鼻子走到何時？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbN80LnkcQ
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjJtuWJ3Ce
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzsuwzmPYz
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他肯定是看過雲雀才來這兒，我知道自己把雲雀傷的不輕。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJXYL9rs7T
若山本老媽子似的囑咐我幾句，我全當聽狗吠。然而他未多表現出一分异樣，只是將買好的套餐端到我面前，討好似的笑容。 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgmxxKGQ0X
「還頭暈嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOj1ej8ZMao
我沒應他，只是側頭。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubenjMz5Tr
我也不知自己鬧什麽彆扭，但就是看不慣，這樣曖昧場景。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdG2GKGwM66
對我狠點更好，我更容易恨你，然後我們就玩完。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfin1lCyIJG
「獄寺？」 煩不煩啊你。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWjosJR6fd6
不要總是用這種語氣叫我的名字。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7RAnFFFBE
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40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvqKhRfLld1
「獄寺怎麽不吃？是不喜歡人多麼…沒辦法，中午食堂就是這樣。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJQRgodnFWx
「不過爲了吃美食，總是要犧牲點呢。」 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ISz6jnkqi
他把自己碗裏的蝦肉球都夾給我， 「獄寺喜歡吃這個吧？吶，都給你。」　40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgo6MNlPbtu
再沒力氣和他作對。我閉上眼睛，緩緩別過頭。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFVVqeDDRLm
心裏絲絲縷縷的酸澀……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKYx8tZATN
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcLCU6V9ua
山本……你可不可以試著，這樣講給我聽？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLSZDbLoFDC
『都給你。你想要的，想從我這裡拿走的都可以給你。』40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvbZehRT8OO
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儘管我知道一切根本不可能如此發生。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9YyZdedkn
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmgjJQxMYA
「我不餓，你吃你的，不用管我。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3IOZrG0HW
既然無法回應我，那就不要再給我希望。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsR3nWX2J2t
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5CFIXNrxyg
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQeWe8k4j2I
我乾脆放下筷子，將視線挪至走動的人群。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyAHGNn75Ta
能感覺到氣氛由盛至衰逐漸尷尬起來，他也只好低頭默默扒飯。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsvQx5bUJaO
幾個風紀委員估計是記住了我的長相，路過我身邊的時候能感覺到敵意。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEaDRXA3OlP
「說起來。雲雀沒怎麼樣吧。」 我沒頭沒腦竟然要問這個？！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYF2INcvepp
他啞然。過了好一會兒才講， 「沒事了，傷……恢復得差不多了。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhWc6Qnd42
有那麽嬌氣？！我記得自己下手很輕的，因為心有它顧。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5S2rPOluAh
看著山本一臉五官凝聚的苦惱狀，忍不住一笑。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfUuNRVaMFN
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這個白癡，因為戀愛的事情開始會察言觀色了嗎？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaTnBH8b2z
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKniTKib6qD
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSurD9g7P2B
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOui7vvtmml
緊接著是更深的沉默。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWXocs1ZpaB
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrd7VOvk3re
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwDPu0ZTUm
「我肋骨都好了呢！」 他突然轉移話題， 「你看，我又活動自如了！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0LSEV4N4b
「不要得意忘形啦混蛋快坐好。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx6FzrvY2U
「那次被雲雀修理的夠嗆啊！不過都是因為我吸煙的錯啦…」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDy1g2iTlwH
吸煙？你已經開始吸烟了麼…40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAfxXyHqhP
靠！是誰天天雞婆似叫我戒煙的！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOABm2LJeSm
爲什麽你也吸煙了……你在煩惱些什麽？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjICB4NhhML
同時煙民，或許那幷不是因爲煙的味道有多麼誘惑。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5tq7owerWY
只是人會空虛，需要一種習慣性動作填補這空白。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡan2R9tLfOj
你這麼做，是因為空虛還是什麽？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpPfioWdaCq
你已經堅定決心，不再做棒球手了？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjG1wTZvuAm
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40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVG6DatoVGb
……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQMYNOEAeQ
看他手舞足蹈滑稽的樣子想要逗我笑。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEH1gaASXwG
更是心酸似吃了一顆梅。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUpNm2udgm
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRFy0he1u5
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsGVMhikzaJ
我正思索著，突然迎面他的手撲上來。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNy3KBn8wm
「獄寺，你傷好重。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlnjxj3fWZ
我嚇得本想往後一撤，身體卻僵硬在原地。任憑他揉我沒搭理的亂髮。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZZzt24eOa
「雲雀手勁兒大，你小心被他傷到要害。」 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPOAZI8qz5N
你這是放馬後炮吧，而且真正傷到要害的不是你麼？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZIx3cGRWa
「……你…背還疼麼？」 我故作冷漠的語調。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMXB8gpPRhm
「獄寺終于肯說話啦，來吃飯吧！」 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQh68qt0yVY
他又將筷子遞到我面前。「我沒事噢！這幾天休息好著呢，大補了幾頓。現在十萬火急的想要運動啊唉！」 說著還不忘展示他肱二頭肌。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZxmzLSM90
「那就不要再在風紀混了，打棒球去。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwMmlr2Moz
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5rB5wdwzK
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzryfPIvw3D
……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwg1AnSUeen
我不自主講出這句，事後才意識到不自然。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXvLvuvmUck
山本瞳孔一縮，結結巴巴支吾了一下， 「之前我問獄寺…」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYagrVmgnpm
「你根本早就自己决定好了吧！」 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVD62INR3l
一股怒氣竄上心頭，我拍案而起。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKIKCw4y5c
我那些都是謊話！你根本就是爲了找個契機給自己一個正當理由而已！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3b05TI4Kbq
「根本就是你自己！抽煙喝酒！參加幫派！裝什麽受傷！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58aqIRBGxE
「獄、獄寺？……冷靜啊……」 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zlyMfxEIy
他慌張的拉我，顯露出為難的樣子。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jztqBDWgm
周圍的人紛紛瞧向我們這邊，醜惡的嘴臉在看熱鬧。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePjq5iGH56
包括掩藏在人群中的黑衣男人。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkVGQ3RV84
雲雀恭彌，你他媽個混蛋。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbujjsXuRi
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rb8FpV1RD
打與不打，對我意義不大。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXCCgLIjVm
然而看不到你與棒球的結伴，我的心變得空蕩。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsi3ZIyqaMa
縱使被他人鄙視，那些東西卻是我的寶貝。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyzLyH9dzAd
山本武，你又一次成功逼迫我煩躁起來。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qTnhE6fjQ
頭皮撓出血肉，骨胳也吱吱喳喳跟著開始叫囂起來。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKqcwy1EB7d
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPWP1L5TVx
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他體味到我怒氣，沒再講話。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQSHjS7TA5
四目相對的時候，我好想擁緊他。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXQNmVvFsB
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5hv6sctLY
他像是雨，倘若可以感受到這濕潤，自己也會像是草木在放晴後的生長，一夜間長大麼？不過也許他會忘記了吧，那時候的風那時候的雲，那時候的光影嘈雜。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLGjZodT8J
儘管那麼認真的生氣過迷茫過、隱忍過受傷過，隨著時間流逝笑著回想起來，也許在這個過程中連記憶也會漸漸消失吧。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBeKzSe8ky9
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但是那時候，我的確是在那裡存在過的。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6GwY1fY3Zf
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40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoXwiB1KxY
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ54ZIQjvrHA
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40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3dlBTu5YW
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40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2jnRjmABR
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzZP3xE6FI
（未完待續）