魔法啟示錄！ - （一）人不作死枉為人也！可是……不作死就不會死啊！

一切都是從作死開始的。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlqGlOXduah
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOAgnN1Oyo
作死，一種人類經過惡作劇、搗蛋這種刺激的行為，來得到快感的動作。雖然作死是是十分危險的，正如古人云：不作死，就不會死；但在人類漫長的歷史上，根本沒有人停止過作死，也全部付出了各種代價。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡreUQOQjprS
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ri1aATapH
而此時此刻，我，宋文杰，某個17歲才去考高中的蠢材，正在承受著作死的後果。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMYLBFgLhT
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“喂！還不快提了行李就滾嗎！”64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZX5M2lK9yG
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgc6JLRd0mN
我一臉面無表情，直直盯著前面的雙馬尾少女。少女有著跟我同色的——暗紅色的頭髮，同色的眼瞳，甚至連樣貌，都常被稱作非常相似。唯一的不相似，就是這個少女，常被誇長得非常可愛，而且追求者也多得要命……相貌比我給好上了多少倍。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Z18Ql7Exx
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7VJyC7F8S
而此刻，這個被稱十分可愛的少女正雙手叉腰，一臉的厭惡與憤怒。所謂天使一般嬌美動人的臉孔正扭曲得要命，說是邪惡的惡魔也不怎麼過分。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUSlkshYbd
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRenqmGiJrN
“……我又惹你了嗎！”對於她的發怒，我也不甘示弱，雖然說對一個女生這麼罵肯定會被反嗆的，由其那少女還是你所謂可愛的妹妹……就算如此，我還是朝她吼了：“真沒法理解為何你有那麼多追求者！你明明就是個潑婦、母老虎！怎麼又無故發怒了！照照鏡子吧！你現在的模樣跟我一樣醜啊！”我真聰明，罵人的時候還不忘自黑一下。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdg1d3EgNqT
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZootJVe4eL
她崩壞的表情在那一瞬間收斂了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVLeEAgj9n
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoer2ueQfFr
下一秒她的表情又扭曲了起來，好像我們有什麼殺父害母之仇一樣，她也朝我吼了：“就是因為你考進了那所貴得要命的廢柴學校，媽媽本來要給我買新刀的錢都補你的學費去了！靠！吃什麼布丁啊！有人會一下子吃40個布丁的嗎？！有病麼你！？“64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfe0yz0RBh3
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……布丁。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqRIiqiED6Z
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我最愛的食物的名字喚醒了我的記憶。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOjKHTCO7C
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0qJCJyWS9x
大約一個月前，樓下一間價廉物美的甜品店開張了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxweHaZYIZJ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJzfYoOgNgQ
甜品店賣的焦糖布丁據說特別好吃，於是我這個布丁狂人就跑去買了1、2個來吃。結果，果然是超好吃的：雖然甜得要命卻毫不油膩，焦糖也香脆得讓人欲罷不能……我掏了掏我的錢包，嗯，帶了整整500塊錢，一個布丁10塊錢……64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJxMwgPp1eZ
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當時店裡只有40個布丁，也好在只有40個。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEpQZB05XO2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0q4LKJVN8b
400塊就這樣花掉了，那是我一個星期打工賺的錢，不過這不是重點。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPUOCPVDvQ
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重點是，第二天，就是考高中的試。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKaSwQwU7d
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljpQKM7AVk
我的成績不算特別差，而且也有溫習……不過，坐進考場後，我忽然發現自己沒帶筆。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUdWJhThUj
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這也沒什麼大不了的，我從鄰桌那兒借了筆。可是借完筆後，我發現自己的考卷有幾頁是空白的。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvmM9b4qQL
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這也沒什麼大不了的，我跟老師換了另一份。最後，我又發現……64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJKG2YE6ys
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……我的肚子好痛啊。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoLQlHXc64
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJzctRp3Ps
那個瞬間，我簡直天崩地裂了。我脹痛的肚子讓我當場無法思考，我顫抖著舉起手來，略帶顫音的說道：“我……我想上……廁、廁所……”64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uaDKmmOcu
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTA7voGBuvL
監考老師大概被我這副好像快要生了的表情給嚇到了吧，差點直接叫救護車了。我發揮了我多年來最擅常的“逃跑”能力，逃命一樣直接衝進廁所裡去了。拉了整整1.5小時才回去。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkuQYHc3e9
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8x0uCPDAee
這是對我而言最重要的魔法理論科考試，考試時間為3小時。當我回去時，剩那1.5小時了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsIgf2jd6H2
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwXux5rwoi
我用盡了我畢生的力量，快速地在考卷裡作答。我的手動得就像是機械造的一樣，可是最後我還是剩下6頁沒有寫完。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs7TF9hOknR
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUCH2fyEB5
走出考場時，我整個人都呈現灰白色的臉色。不知是因為拉得如此虛弱，還是試卷給我的打擊。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Y2BqsemXJ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmG4YoKUdF3
筆試也掛了……我實戰的成績又是一坨糞便一樣……64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgP6yCPmEtQ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgJKZXpeYD5
我這次真是完蛋了。我絕望地想道。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4tcVrYpXK6
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZY2GaMpmTt
回到家，可能是可憐我吧，我妹竟然沒有來落井下石，只是輕輕地用鼻子“哼”了一聲以示對我的嘲笑。可是當時我沒有精力去回應她的嘲笑，而是保持著灰白的狀態。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPLchHJb0R
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64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohBA1SuKDj
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“喂，結果送到了！”64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOzlzUh19g5
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVDFYqdCUog
當我從我媽的手上接過那神聖的結果後，我戰戰兢兢地剝開了包裝……64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡII9a6DOp3Z
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBj158geyI
我媽湊過來看了看。數秒後，她瞄到了學費那一欄。然後，她就這樣狠狠地往我頭上一巴，力道打得讓我差不多要撞破玻璃窗飛出去了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh7x5PWhDc
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMC8fJobpJ
“你這不孝子！”老媽的臉扭曲得跟魔鬼無異，“你老妹的學校學費貴就算了，她還能拿到半額的獎學金啊！但是你看看你，考進這麼一間又差又貴的學校，還要我多交全額學費，你是在逗我嗎！你能像你妹妹一樣拿到獎學金嗎！”然後她又一記上勾拳，我飛上去撞天花板了，頭差點沒開花。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXqmO3cbMRq
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7yGwXYmFo
這邊順便一提，我老妹成績很好，雖然不是模範生，卻是考全級裡10名內的人物。而且，她的好不只是在筆試上，即使是實戰，也強得不像話。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVta4HqlSkR
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOR9npQ7na
比起我這個不務正業的二流之人，老妹根本是神人啊！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohpyTzOPUN
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrNZIyUg7vc
時間點回到了現在。反正，老媽還是給我交了學費（雖然可能是因為沒別的學校收我），我也是要去我的學校去了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqD1uUu1nM7
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其實，回想完之後，我覺得是我比較對不起老妹……64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQgRBfqpUf
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJynKJtPCr
老妹仍然在盯著我，有血海深仇的怒盯的那種。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZjKAoYKEK
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlsUrTaaDfv
“說真格的，你要開始走了沒有？“她的臉上除了厭惡，還多上了不耐煩，”盯著你的臉都讓我覺得煩啊！親愛的哥哥！還不快點滾？“64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF6cPfrKmOi
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你可以別看我的臉的好嗎！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jZ8GHu3kd
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“好啦好啦！我要走了——“64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiFLrhAKLx
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語音都還沒落下，門立刻“啪“的一聲關上了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVwBQDHWfU
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjNTDeq29x
“老妹——我不買牛奶回來了——！“我報复性地、咬牙切齒地吼。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzs8cziH3zU
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“靠！“屋子裡立刻傳來臭罵的聲音。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRljq2Ie8N
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我心情大好，直接就調頭下了樓，也不管我妹在罵些什麼。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhRFzHNzCI
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjuCYyTJWEF
一路地走，在公車站等車，上車，繳費，坐下，然後一直發呆，直至車直通到達了市區的中心。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHcP1TnIAUZ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHclOq7Z4I
車到了市中心已是好幾小時後的事了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJZXPs9VTMQ
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO8znNrAzJ
所有著“市區垃圾場“之稱的學校就在市區中心的旁邊。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS44VYUZC9g
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5G2SPPYc3R
下了車後，我正在一個商店街旁邊。我緊盯地圖，一邊往學校的方向進發。15分鐘的路程後，面前便是我將要讀那個3年的學校，也是收容我這坨大型垃圾的地方。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSv2sMVA0Iy
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SDfYQgijE
我抬頭，那是一所與平常學校無異的學校。比較接近校門的是主要教學樓嗎？好像在學校資料那兒看過。它看起來也非常正常，有7層外加天台的樣子，外牆的粉刷則是有點剝落，跟某些比較舊的學校無異。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDOwfzK9nNH
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIbkUt19mLt
學校旁邊是一座山，大概就是學校資料裡說，用來訓練實戰的後山了吧。還能因某些訓練而變成某種形態的樣子。不過，它滿山都是茂密的大樹，看起來真的很正常。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffBaUrtIdU
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看起來是真的很正常…...等等，教學大樓的5樓，有一個窗戶在噴水？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQn4Q8cNwl
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……我好像還看見有人尖叫著被沖出來了。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdKhZ0dPt6m
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVfihAuSgB
都是幻覺而已吧……我前行幾步，學校的門，也就是一個很高大的鐵閘，就這樣在我面前大敞。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh0Ft6kSxO
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡic6ve95Pkt
……這原來是自動門嗎？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5dB5d4qA1Y
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好先進哦！還感覺像是鬼門關大開吸引人進來那樣先進哦！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTlc9FVwFx
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnWfBXjvkS
我再前行數步，已經走進了校園的範圍。我背後的鐵閘“吱呀”一聲又自動關上了，果然好先進啊。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU54eM5ETnV
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjWLmqD2Ir
我拉著行李，一瞬間不知該往哪裡走。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RxEIjP0hW
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不是該先到宿舍去的嗎？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNOiltY1SD
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可是我不知道宿舍在哪裡啊！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRte9JsLKvE
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aDwAaTZd2
我仰頭凝視著這教學大樓，覺得應該在這大樓裡面找人幫我才對。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyfGN6iXq4d
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“喂！快停下！”64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfjzJYiGPT
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有人嗎？難道是校工伯伯嗎？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3eXYzgvlYj
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GiOlR6HIz
因為我住得離市區較遠，在今天，也就是來到學校宿舍先安定一下的日子，我特準遲一些才到學校。所以，現在學生們大概都把東西給擺放好，在教學大樓或者課室那頭自由時間去了吧。所以校門口這邊才這麼少人。因此，要是有人喊停我，那該是校工伯伯才對。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtqQPjATe6u
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我回過頭去。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9BEeqb0m9
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但是，那並不是和善的校工伯伯或姨姨——看見這群人後的第一秒，我只想爆出粗口。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTAhh8xjz3K
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtrH5XxwUW
為什麼想爆粗口？要是你看見你正在被一群頭染成金毛或者各種不科學的顏色，一臉不屑看不起人，活像不良少年的人包圍，你會想要跟他們友好地說道“唉喲，你好，多多指教”嗎？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFY7qbsHoy
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“請問有什麼事呢？”64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtbOczjKTlW
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我裝得一臉的友善純潔，就像我老妹扮豬吃老虎時的模樣。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uohOuQDMY
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“你有電池嗎？”看起來帶頭的紅髮不良少年嘴裡還叼著根煙，眼裡的神色就像是在說“你有就交出來，沒有也請你交出來“。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzM5TbEEcDf
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電池？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXecmRo0RtO
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你要來幹什麼啊！現在的人還會隨身帶備電池了嗎？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOcTPFjTKGD
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTxkXSQgTM
電池在N年前當然十分有用處，遙控啊玩具啊什麼都需要電池才能發動，可是這麼久遠的發明，今天不該是已經被淘汰了嗎？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wxRc7Uv7q
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2AU3e61NL
現在都用充電器了好嗎！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOpSPIef7qB
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCN9F9IBuN
“抱歉……大哥，我身上沒有。“64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUI66jczMY
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw3rz1f0Hwr
有也不會給你的吧！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdn4zhSXOxz
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcLcxaoteq
那個紅髮不良少年一聽見我的話，極度不爽地笑了。這樣說感覺實在很古怪，他是在笑著沒錯，不過感覺到他的不爽。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRl9t7N4Ppa
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOMtwVGtqq
他笑著瞪我的神色就似是看見有著不共載天之仇的人一樣……老妹你盯人的方法在何時發揚光大了啊！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8elf737ffe
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxVvSG427T
紅髮不良少年揚了揚眉，這個時候我才發現他長得頗不錯的。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoLToDUCLm4
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMoCgcbYyN
沒天理啊！什麼時候連這種不良青年也長得那麼帥了？我一個正道之人，沒做過什麼傷天害理之事，卻長得像一坨……一樣？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqq3bA8FKd4
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxNlIEpmPC
“快揍他好嗎？“他吐出一口煙來，差點把我給嗆哭。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHGrc3snzq
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6jPYY7EAY
等等……！？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMAOabY8iL
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqj0YEEsZX8
我感覺到了生命危險。尤其當我看見那群不良青年有的露出了刀，有的正在聚集屬性的時候。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBb93er1VN
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIsf22UbTQg
你們要揍的人是我而已啊！用得動真格嗎？用得真的花魔力跟體力去揍我嗎？64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5fyH3e1OX
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnoP5onD2G
可不可以只用拳頭啊！我只是路過而且沒帶電池這種老古董上街而已好嗎！你們根本不通情達理好不好！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiciDvmsvVD
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJo0P8dCedl
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5x47FGkzB
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PpvfMtX9J
反正，就是這樣，此刻，我，宋文杰，一個17歲才考高中的蠢才，正被學校裡意味不明地出現的不良少年給逼退到了牆角。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58hWsP3EC6
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgMGZdEeax
叫你作死！叫你作死！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuu02FAQRe
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLztAwuRZm
我恨不得扇自己兩個巴掌。64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡewEO4sGQ7t
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp258cnCWQf
現在來到這種學校了吧…….這都是作死的錯啊！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8uBALfS08V
64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMICQ5LRZe
誰叫我吃那40個布丁的啊！把那個人拉出去吊死啊！64Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡunNPocK7dK
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