基於趕不及的情況之下，無奈地，又一篇無聊小記 ^^b29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9BpfFFBOT
正文嘛，人家會努力的 ><29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0EgbTOPa2
既然有人提出想看現代篇，那下次就來吧？29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUtN7bevWLU
（反正之前已大修改過，基本上只要稍微改一下跟內容不太合的標題名稱就可以貼上來）29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcXP1921ZD
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好了，廢話少說，且看不是正文的正文。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxcqEmyxke
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第03話　2008 / 01版（下）29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi3QX6kYh75
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上回說到，某音無端端地被人踢去上急救堂。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlll6Of43Dh
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對於要睡不足8個鐘翌日便會頭痛牙痛頭暈作嘔什麼都齊的的某音來說，雖然前天夜更今日晨早要起床，簡直想死！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zf98OLFOt
總之，這種狀態不打瞌睡還能好好上堂，全賴一班有趣生鬼的同學仔時不時說些笑話之功！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgf9jFAP64C
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例如人工呼吸，睇下是不靚女先『咀』、『咀』老婆唔『咀』外母之類。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilFvuqEdYa
當然，不止這些…….29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEbHZ8jt0W4
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實習時就更有趣。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItSt7nLmKQ
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第一日，學的當然是必考且極易肥人的『心肺復蘇法（人工呼吸加心外壓）』！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHFVvej9Ae
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQjGKweN0A
對白如下（〔〕是我那班同學仔的廢話）：29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttQ3sQdj9D
（因為隔了些日子，有此步驟次序可能不太正確，當笑話看就好）29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU8m4vOzOb
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1. 現場環境安全。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSgxnVAl1S
〔同：喂喂，剛剛不是說過做急救之前先顧自己安全，如果不安全的話，是不是可以收工走得？〕29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolHb3GwXqZ
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2. 小姐小姐？傷者無反應。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAnvcIXjLE
〔同Ａ：對了，剛才不是說過明顯是死掉（例如腦袋和身體分家）的話，可以不用做（急救）嗎？現在得番半截（半身的人型公仔），絕對是掛的罷？29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyAp6vgFRy
同Ｂ：古時唔知邊個被人腰斬後，都寫左十幾個字才掛。大概，仍要做罷？29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Oz6QVS1em
同Ｃ：真是要做的話……一按不是會飛晒（d內臟）出來〉？好噁心。〕29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGKsKF674O
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3. 某某（因為他們互相認識的），麻煩你報警後，回來幫我。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbv5l1LIT10
〔同Ａ：你叫我我就要去做嗎？我不要！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5c2M89dyiF
同Ｂ：喂！不要不跟劇本喎！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjd9KMpurU
同Ａ：真煩，那『是』，OK？下一句。〕29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KETZNH3WS
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4. 檢查口腔，口腔無『雜物』。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLCJ5PI3qu
〔同Ａ：『雜物』？你是不是查得走廊過多？雜物塞住喉嚨死得啦。是『異物』呀！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡruNfjprGUG
同Ｂ：哦哦，口腔無『雜物』…是、是異物才真。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSfCPKTHvT
附帶一題，大概太好笑的緣故，有好幾個同學仔受他影響，都是口腔無『雜物』！〕29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRKFi9UP87
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFpPpsLmD6o
5. 檢查呼吸……傷者無呼吸（即時『咀』兩下）29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjQq5SMNRS
〔同：呼呼……阿Sir！吹唔脹既？是不是漏氣？29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKG1kOACW9p
師：你想讓她窒息嗎？塊Mask都放不對（位置）。你吹住塊膠，邊有氣入去？29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjUJQbspi84
同：是喎……呼呼……喂！有無、有無脹呀？29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPopcCq6E1
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附帶一題，因為發生過SARS之後，曾有一段時間是扮『咀』過，不過，無理由因為這樣就不做的嘛（唔通對方不是靚女就不做嗎）。所以就發明了這塊『Mask』。一塊大小如手帕，質地像包書用的磨砂膠紙中間剪了一個小洞，小洞用紗布封好。雖然都不算太衛生，但總好過什麼都無。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPse9yWS8A6
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不過，雖然塊紗布真的很薄，但……真是好難吹脹的。〕29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3emc98Ce5
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6. 檢查脈搏，傷者無脈搏（壓壓壓）29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWj0bbgSS7P
〔同Ａ：壓壓壓（啪啪啪）……有聲既？29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGfgz4yIEt
師：你按斷她的肋骨啦。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRcGGtE88EN
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同Ａ：胸骨與兩乳頭之間的十字……十字十字，是這兒罷（一手按實公仔心口）？29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0UvwGGerSQ
同Ｂ：某某，鹹豬手！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7znpdfN7d
同Ａ：喂！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLRbVWeKEW
同Ｂ：是壓而不是捏，我看到你捏左幾下，還不是鹹豬手！死色狼！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RCmIstWN5
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同Ａ：好硬呀！按完百多下之前我的手腕先掛……29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3IK3tzqNFj
同Ｂ：我知！患乳癌呀！那是硬塊！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKrWjedvbl
同Ａ：……b〕29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKEwLwSkhX
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7. 壓三十下再吹兩口氣，是為一個循環，一共要做五個循環。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ6mIVfZ48
〔同：呼呼……無、無氣啦，做完後只怕是我要找人救我……糟了！這回是第幾個循環！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4ih7aNDOk
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同Ａ：一一、一二、一三、一四……29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2oxaYug3ED
同Ｂ：123456789101112……29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFL1kW6XJ7S
同Ａ：別吵！慘了！剛才是第幾下？〕29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVzaY5gi2S
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8. 做完五個循環後，檢查呼吸及脈搏。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOA8xWPGziB
〔同Ａ：真可憐，嘴唇裂了。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mrrqbw0Qr
同Ｂ：無辦法，天氣太乾燥了。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXUPjni9vr6
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同Ａ：哇！為什麼塊（白色的）紗布會這麼紅的？厲害耶，死的都救番生（復活）！不過公仔俾人救嘔血呀！是不是內傷？29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDKXbUK2zXz
同Ｂ：不是耶！是救人那個救到嘔血呀！好驚呀！剛剛說過那個步驟是什麼？Notes Notes...... 1. 首先保持冷靜，2. 現場環境...安全，3. 是看看傷者有沒反應......阿先生，你沒事吧？傷者無反應，麻煩找人打999（香港的求助熱線）...29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhraQ3fnoHB
同Ａ：不是呀，傷者有反應呀，是『要不要替你call 999』才對！29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSIHto82Mk
同Ｃ（主角不是我，不過，看到他無奈的表情，大概他是這麼想罷？）：（冬天乾燥，無用潤唇膏而已，用不用這樣b）〕29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytR2lGX6Rg
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你說，只是半日都這麼多笑料，上課悶極有限。29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ633gyyd0X0
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～第03話　完～29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMBfxKQpMWY
作者： 飛音璃