基於趕不及的情況之下，無奈地，又一篇無聊小記 ^^b38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZtfRNPuWr
正文嘛，人家會努力的 ><38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQUee23QvZc
既然有人提出想看現代篇，那下次就來吧？38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOYLUgP4Har
（反正之前已大修改過，基本上只要稍微改一下跟內容不太合的標題名稱就可以貼上來）38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHJhgg8OHb
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好了，廢話少說，且看不是正文的正文。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zS6UJmJEi
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38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡidLomeWo7X
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第03話　2008 / 01版（下）38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuW9nc9yPCo
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡilRdy1I2Lr
上回說到，某音無端端地被人踢去上急救堂。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCzWA0sB5T
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQIpVGDDBB
對於要睡不足8個鐘翌日便會頭痛牙痛頭暈作嘔什麼都齊的的某音來說，雖然前天夜更今日晨早要起床，簡直想死！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJClQmp6Sxe
總之，這種狀態不打瞌睡還能好好上堂，全賴一班有趣生鬼的同學仔時不時說些笑話之功！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuHTygxagd
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNf8rivjW4v
例如人工呼吸，睇下是不靚女先『咀』、『咀』老婆唔『咀』外母之類。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOTB3X2Wlb
當然，不止這些…….38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMZdplhRoh
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBkdoX1BmI
實習時就更有趣。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡttQF4RDAwg
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1vtrwHeqL
第一日，學的當然是必考且極易肥人的『心肺復蘇法（人工呼吸加心外壓）』！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCthJmHLdT
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIgCQntYDTs
對白如下（〔〕是我那班同學仔的廢話）：38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeYmx9Ta5KR
（因為隔了些日子，有此步驟次序可能不太正確，當笑話看就好）38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWyCMB0toX
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHyRtuacyU
1. 現場環境安全。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAaP4JnNsV
〔同：喂喂，剛剛不是說過做急救之前先顧自己安全，如果不安全的話，是不是可以收工走得？〕38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpihQDnsjB
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ECMpQqsY1
2. 小姐小姐？傷者無反應。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnA6SXDyzUW
〔同Ａ：對了，剛才不是說過明顯是死掉（例如腦袋和身體分家）的話，可以不用做（急救）嗎？現在得番半截（半身的人型公仔），絕對是掛的罷？38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPy258fMhZ
同Ｂ：古時唔知邊個被人腰斬後，都寫左十幾個字才掛。大概，仍要做罷？38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡla20152uSU
同Ｃ：真是要做的話……一按不是會飛晒（d內臟）出來〉？好噁心。〕38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bHkdNP3Jj
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSQs91QlPv
3. 某某（因為他們互相認識的），麻煩你報警後，回來幫我。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4E4Y4VJoVe
〔同Ａ：你叫我我就要去做嗎？我不要！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQLbMTbqgPa
同Ｂ：喂！不要不跟劇本喎！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhamK3hc346
同Ａ：真煩，那『是』，OK？下一句。〕38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvnTkntoyeR
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwYx5K3flP
4. 檢查口腔，口腔無『雜物』。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NXPuHuNck
〔同Ａ：『雜物』？你是不是查得走廊過多？雜物塞住喉嚨死得啦。是『異物』呀！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd2Zc55Daf1
同Ｂ：哦哦，口腔無『雜物』…是、是異物才真。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrKHjfcdmU
附帶一題，大概太好笑的緣故，有好幾個同學仔受他影響，都是口腔無『雜物』！〕38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLDKPifN3Z
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHysOaowFuf
5. 檢查呼吸……傷者無呼吸（即時『咀』兩下）38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIQKV26EoH
〔同：呼呼……阿Sir！吹唔脹既？是不是漏氣？38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGKQNrAPTYh
師：你想讓她窒息嗎？塊Mask都放不對（位置）。你吹住塊膠，邊有氣入去？38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO4Fsa8Fg8K
同：是喎……呼呼……喂！有無、有無脹呀？38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLUDaFBWaPv
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIaL8UZUok
附帶一題，因為發生過SARS之後，曾有一段時間是扮『咀』過，不過，無理由因為這樣就不做的嘛（唔通對方不是靚女就不做嗎）。所以就發明了這塊『Mask』。一塊大小如手帕，質地像包書用的磨砂膠紙中間剪了一個小洞，小洞用紗布封好。雖然都不算太衛生，但總好過什麼都無。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpcXZKTyvty
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vDUyUTxf9
不過，雖然塊紗布真的很薄，但……真是好難吹脹的。〕38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOZ5FQGKbu
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdV5JBdnsoy
6. 檢查脈搏，傷者無脈搏（壓壓壓）38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwF4OJxLgJP
〔同Ａ：壓壓壓（啪啪啪）……有聲既？38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gKRSIpVjl
師：你按斷她的肋骨啦。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Nkq78ntOG
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XeFXGGy6m
同Ａ：胸骨與兩乳頭之間的十字……十字十字，是這兒罷（一手按實公仔心口）？38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVfobDVEyg
同Ｂ：某某，鹹豬手！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVExna6QEtX
同Ａ：喂！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldHaY5KmVY
同Ｂ：是壓而不是捏，我看到你捏左幾下，還不是鹹豬手！死色狼！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68cYQ5DIGY
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VKRT6Wmnl
同Ａ：好硬呀！按完百多下之前我的手腕先掛……38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKP1PHS3QF
同Ｂ：我知！患乳癌呀！那是硬塊！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJz22kOqKE7
同Ａ：……b〕38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4ZEixBXLP
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkpUWcwinim
7. 壓三十下再吹兩口氣，是為一個循環，一共要做五個循環。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cygjGM8DZ
〔同：呼呼……無、無氣啦，做完後只怕是我要找人救我……糟了！這回是第幾個循環！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyG4WTB9rS2
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZpd0ETNqJB
同Ａ：一一、一二、一三、一四……38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQM9n0AFzw
同Ｂ：123456789101112……38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvMbf7quQzC
同Ａ：別吵！慘了！剛才是第幾下？〕38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoZyuz63z0
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhD8J3VIFf8
8. 做完五個循環後，檢查呼吸及脈搏。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpiPYSP0yjt
〔同Ａ：真可憐，嘴唇裂了。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZXrMIHS2mI
同Ｂ：無辦法，天氣太乾燥了。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGloPtGOSui
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmVOnN6OTI
同Ａ：哇！為什麼塊（白色的）紗布會這麼紅的？厲害耶，死的都救番生（復活）！不過公仔俾人救嘔血呀！是不是內傷？38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbDJBqLjcX4
同Ｂ：不是耶！是救人那個救到嘔血呀！好驚呀！剛剛說過那個步驟是什麼？Notes Notes...... 1. 首先保持冷靜，2. 現場環境...安全，3. 是看看傷者有沒反應......阿先生，你沒事吧？傷者無反應，麻煩找人打999（香港的求助熱線）...38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcpAlIhN8Po
同Ａ：不是呀，傷者有反應呀，是『要不要替你call 999』才對！38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiHnOAGMYT
同Ｃ（主角不是我，不過，看到他無奈的表情，大概他是這麼想罷？）：（冬天乾燥，無用潤唇膏而已，用不用這樣b）〕38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvrQzRn0cN
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL8ozDJIt19
你說，只是半日都這麼多笑料，上課悶極有限。38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKrbGuFgIxk
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqEA8nqMSXn
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmZ69ch0TB
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoasWcFC92T
38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAA3l771h93
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～第03話　完～38Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7jZfRdnSYr
作者： 飛音璃