基於趕不及的情況之下，無奈地，又一篇無聊小記 ^^b34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDv8NRTIQu
正文嘛，人家會努力的 ><34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUXyIqljWyG
既然有人提出想看現代篇，那下次就來吧？34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Btu6SVmaI
（反正之前已大修改過，基本上只要稍微改一下跟內容不太合的標題名稱就可以貼上來）34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREdJiuvEGs
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkPejUIN9Jw
好了，廢話少說，且看不是正文的正文。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLMX8asmDY
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBs17fBzcwi
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFXL5fNcP2
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo48kcXac10
第03話　2008 / 01版（下）34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7QZ11zARv
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8RLHDJhX4O
上回說到，某音無端端地被人踢去上急救堂。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsuML1icmMo
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgN2gpTWJB
對於要睡不足8個鐘翌日便會頭痛牙痛頭暈作嘔什麼都齊的的某音來說，雖然前天夜更今日晨早要起床，簡直想死！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7WvsUdS6Rv
總之，這種狀態不打瞌睡還能好好上堂，全賴一班有趣生鬼的同學仔時不時說些笑話之功！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADaCRFQZ5G
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvHZiSkSp9
例如人工呼吸，睇下是不靚女先『咀』、『咀』老婆唔『咀』外母之類。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4ncMoyq3F
當然，不止這些…….34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAuSBbpgykF
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIMufmXufq
實習時就更有趣。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYYoBN2GIdm
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhTcCLmZgTp
第一日，學的當然是必考且極易肥人的『心肺復蘇法（人工呼吸加心外壓）』！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5yadVFVmU
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfaOsUeH32T
對白如下（〔〕是我那班同學仔的廢話）：34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmfMsNIWefJ
（因為隔了些日子，有此步驟次序可能不太正確，當笑話看就好）34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlAf0ee0Ra
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxTBlqRQKJb
1. 現場環境安全。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR4QmtHm69A
〔同：喂喂，剛剛不是說過做急救之前先顧自己安全，如果不安全的話，是不是可以收工走得？〕34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVsFmpxHzkn
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1x767UA22f
2. 小姐小姐？傷者無反應。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUmBg0mhBll
〔同Ａ：對了，剛才不是說過明顯是死掉（例如腦袋和身體分家）的話，可以不用做（急救）嗎？現在得番半截（半身的人型公仔），絕對是掛的罷？34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzlNSMa2M7
同Ｂ：古時唔知邊個被人腰斬後，都寫左十幾個字才掛。大概，仍要做罷？34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUw9xioaXlN
同Ｃ：真是要做的話……一按不是會飛晒（d內臟）出來〉？好噁心。〕34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGY7KK1zgF
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipx6F6YotY
3. 某某（因為他們互相認識的），麻煩你報警後，回來幫我。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJmCSgGNeVd
〔同Ａ：你叫我我就要去做嗎？我不要！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRw6HYKwrCh
同Ｂ：喂！不要不跟劇本喎！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rsUv2CEei
同Ａ：真煩，那『是』，OK？下一句。〕34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhxKSRtx8ch
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MGLnzExOK
4. 檢查口腔，口腔無『雜物』。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKs5UwDsX3c
〔同Ａ：『雜物』？你是不是查得走廊過多？雜物塞住喉嚨死得啦。是『異物』呀！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnrqudp5fw4
同Ｂ：哦哦，口腔無『雜物』…是、是異物才真。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3PCzg4hHl
附帶一題，大概太好笑的緣故，有好幾個同學仔受他影響，都是口腔無『雜物』！〕34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhdzuSmjOq
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ8yj06nYCf
5. 檢查呼吸……傷者無呼吸（即時『咀』兩下）34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvFsLPgURxE
〔同：呼呼……阿Sir！吹唔脹既？是不是漏氣？34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneFtZG0SKT
師：你想讓她窒息嗎？塊Mask都放不對（位置）。你吹住塊膠，邊有氣入去？34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqIQ2eUwbY
同：是喎……呼呼……喂！有無、有無脹呀？34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDLH0DlaSt
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1fA4ZrBN8
附帶一題，因為發生過SARS之後，曾有一段時間是扮『咀』過，不過，無理由因為這樣就不做的嘛（唔通對方不是靚女就不做嗎）。所以就發明了這塊『Mask』。一塊大小如手帕，質地像包書用的磨砂膠紙中間剪了一個小洞，小洞用紗布封好。雖然都不算太衛生，但總好過什麼都無。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU9V1sVbk9Q
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wNGIxJeRs
不過，雖然塊紗布真的很薄，但……真是好難吹脹的。〕34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixvU5pqzkr
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPnqsotPad
6. 檢查脈搏，傷者無脈搏（壓壓壓）34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TsPOfwhaZ
〔同Ａ：壓壓壓（啪啪啪）……有聲既？34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4TR4Yezbry
師：你按斷她的肋骨啦。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AQPHs48SK
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8y4G6oZRz8
同Ａ：胸骨與兩乳頭之間的十字……十字十字，是這兒罷（一手按實公仔心口）？34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFR0tLk5Up
同Ｂ：某某，鹹豬手！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOjjwoZLYRs
同Ａ：喂！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0a02F7Myx
同Ｂ：是壓而不是捏，我看到你捏左幾下，還不是鹹豬手！死色狼！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTK0HcoQkcg
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5j4xs4JCo
同Ａ：好硬呀！按完百多下之前我的手腕先掛……34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEy3Xv7fMTe
同Ｂ：我知！患乳癌呀！那是硬塊！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlqwhhk01s
同Ａ：……b〕34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPbyPRD0NB5
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIYKSeD5ta
7. 壓三十下再吹兩口氣，是為一個循環，一共要做五個循環。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl8lKWZdY40
〔同：呼呼……無、無氣啦，做完後只怕是我要找人救我……糟了！這回是第幾個循環！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtT7bq9V0kx
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5C9uj5BITj
同Ａ：一一、一二、一三、一四……34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSTzJ2jiaV
同Ｂ：123456789101112……34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUoiuBEx0J
同Ａ：別吵！慘了！剛才是第幾下？〕34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwrOwUnuSy
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCo7bDw8vf
8. 做完五個循環後，檢查呼吸及脈搏。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ424asMD3rn
〔同Ａ：真可憐，嘴唇裂了。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEdmiurgGP
同Ｂ：無辦法，天氣太乾燥了。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1gX6V7Vt8
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprlf2pVvkE
同Ａ：哇！為什麼塊（白色的）紗布會這麼紅的？厲害耶，死的都救番生（復活）！不過公仔俾人救嘔血呀！是不是內傷？34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYI8Mt0UfQ
同Ｂ：不是耶！是救人那個救到嘔血呀！好驚呀！剛剛說過那個步驟是什麼？Notes Notes...... 1. 首先保持冷靜，2. 現場環境...安全，3. 是看看傷者有沒反應......阿先生，你沒事吧？傷者無反應，麻煩找人打999（香港的求助熱線）...34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡibVPypMTjW
同Ａ：不是呀，傷者有反應呀，是『要不要替你call 999』才對！34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEzl3huDxF6
同Ｃ（主角不是我，不過，看到他無奈的表情，大概他是這麼想罷？）：（冬天乾燥，無用潤唇膏而已，用不用這樣b）〕34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiwkXSkphRb
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCUSi0wRlx
你說，只是半日都這麼多笑料，上課悶極有限。34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMXwePkwa4
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcK392bV8C
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCvhF4mh9C
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUM64emjXGp
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjhmWYcKEaZ
34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvn5T6xB7E8
～第03話　完～34Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1W7z9W2Yl
作者： 飛音璃