基於趕不及的情況之下，無奈地，又一篇無聊小記 ^^b40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEJBtidXHR
正文嘛，人家會努力的 ><40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIfW2bR4Kqt
既然有人提出想看現代篇，那下次就來吧？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZihSCfYnUT
（反正之前已大修改過，基本上只要稍微改一下跟內容不太合的標題名稱就可以貼上來）40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpEtQgg20W2
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好了，廢話少說，且看不是正文的正文。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zM7ITzBlR
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第03話　2008 / 01版（下）40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVfbAK6Mp5V
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上回說到，某音無端端地被人踢去上急救堂。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQ3CHaKtWU
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyK93c5WWb0
對於要睡不足8個鐘翌日便會頭痛牙痛頭暈作嘔什麼都齊的的某音來說，雖然前天夜更今日晨早要起床，簡直想死！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZdTRn1zgf
總之，這種狀態不打瞌睡還能好好上堂，全賴一班有趣生鬼的同學仔時不時說些笑話之功！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSCOtX2TPu
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1qITqxbOs
例如人工呼吸，睇下是不靚女先『咀』、『咀』老婆唔『咀』外母之類。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5NhEFQTwYx
當然，不止這些…….40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajurB6HLjD
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實習時就更有趣。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlenRwiam05
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第一日，學的當然是必考且極易肥人的『心肺復蘇法（人工呼吸加心外壓）』！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZLcOZmJ4K2
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd19GRso5II
對白如下（〔〕是我那班同學仔的廢話）：40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCm2okna0OG
（因為隔了些日子，有此步驟次序可能不太正確，當笑話看就好）40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJ6BCiwx6P
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1. 現場環境安全。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfusSw2sSXE
〔同：喂喂，剛剛不是說過做急救之前先顧自己安全，如果不安全的話，是不是可以收工走得？〕40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HQO3DhTWI
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2. 小姐小姐？傷者無反應。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjoMhIADqsT
〔同Ａ：對了，剛才不是說過明顯是死掉（例如腦袋和身體分家）的話，可以不用做（急救）嗎？現在得番半截（半身的人型公仔），絕對是掛的罷？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoKMHwN3fqH
同Ｂ：古時唔知邊個被人腰斬後，都寫左十幾個字才掛。大概，仍要做罷？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuzv9PkFjtZ
同Ｃ：真是要做的話……一按不是會飛晒（d內臟）出來〉？好噁心。〕40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwJAKybyqY
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3. 某某（因為他們互相認識的），麻煩你報警後，回來幫我。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDhlVP3DqwH
〔同Ａ：你叫我我就要去做嗎？我不要！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhDWvy7UFam
同Ｂ：喂！不要不跟劇本喎！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnV2S28u4l
同Ａ：真煩，那『是』，OK？下一句。〕40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroC3i0uFDq
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKsV1Xfhqo
4. 檢查口腔，口腔無『雜物』。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8NW4wG5p7f
〔同Ａ：『雜物』？你是不是查得走廊過多？雜物塞住喉嚨死得啦。是『異物』呀！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRGzDi2BNO
同Ｂ：哦哦，口腔無『雜物』…是、是異物才真。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44wWqQlPmd
附帶一題，大概太好笑的緣故，有好幾個同學仔受他影響，都是口腔無『雜物』！〕40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQocVWHw7DG
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaJLaGBLU9
5. 檢查呼吸……傷者無呼吸（即時『咀』兩下）40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHg2mkDiZfl
〔同：呼呼……阿Sir！吹唔脹既？是不是漏氣？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrvvHJM3zeX
師：你想讓她窒息嗎？塊Mask都放不對（位置）。你吹住塊膠，邊有氣入去？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtMySB7Q5a
同：是喎……呼呼……喂！有無、有無脹呀？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NLVs2ASmY
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVKuHtdRKl
附帶一題，因為發生過SARS之後，曾有一段時間是扮『咀』過，不過，無理由因為這樣就不做的嘛（唔通對方不是靚女就不做嗎）。所以就發明了這塊『Mask』。一塊大小如手帕，質地像包書用的磨砂膠紙中間剪了一個小洞，小洞用紗布封好。雖然都不算太衛生，但總好過什麼都無。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuYlvPyl41
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgwq3n88og
不過，雖然塊紗布真的很薄，但……真是好難吹脹的。〕40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeCmsPAjlOv
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdK9kiuCpf
6. 檢查脈搏，傷者無脈搏（壓壓壓）40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8OiHbNqh9g
〔同Ａ：壓壓壓（啪啪啪）……有聲既？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡenjVMJlBDi
師：你按斷她的肋骨啦。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvr6n5TAVt
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpIykHbx8DB
同Ａ：胸骨與兩乳頭之間的十字……十字十字，是這兒罷（一手按實公仔心口）？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1pAUpEXqGJ
同Ｂ：某某，鹹豬手！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aY4IGBlA6
同Ａ：喂！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPVr8J92h9
同Ｂ：是壓而不是捏，我看到你捏左幾下，還不是鹹豬手！死色狼！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDhSQhKgiK
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQuBUjW7Kaj
同Ａ：好硬呀！按完百多下之前我的手腕先掛……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbR3NufrFJ4
同Ｂ：我知！患乳癌呀！那是硬塊！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPb96WbZes7
同Ａ：……b〕40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0UR6uX9EJ
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnQyPmJVEqS
7. 壓三十下再吹兩口氣，是為一個循環，一共要做五個循環。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8XF1dmt4y
〔同：呼呼……無、無氣啦，做完後只怕是我要找人救我……糟了！這回是第幾個循環！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjkCY0Vnbs
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同Ａ：一一、一二、一三、一四……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWlqfJVUJ0
同Ｂ：123456789101112……40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3VMrdMdDlq
同Ａ：別吵！慘了！剛才是第幾下？〕40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3qsY0zaZl
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBWmAkWSjC
8. 做完五個循環後，檢查呼吸及脈搏。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazSBdQ4o1J
〔同Ａ：真可憐，嘴唇裂了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLmLkkvyhe
同Ｂ：無辦法，天氣太乾燥了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0pZXV5YHm
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同Ａ：哇！為什麼塊（白色的）紗布會這麼紅的？厲害耶，死的都救番生（復活）！不過公仔俾人救嘔血呀！是不是內傷？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaM6breT663
同Ｂ：不是耶！是救人那個救到嘔血呀！好驚呀！剛剛說過那個步驟是什麼？Notes Notes...... 1. 首先保持冷靜，2. 現場環境...安全，3. 是看看傷者有沒反應......阿先生，你沒事吧？傷者無反應，麻煩找人打999（香港的求助熱線）...40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0R46ARooIj
同Ａ：不是呀，傷者有反應呀，是『要不要替你call 999』才對！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQf5O7aahgh
同Ｃ（主角不是我，不過，看到他無奈的表情，大概他是這麼想罷？）：（冬天乾燥，無用潤唇膏而已，用不用這樣b）〕40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeGci1tNbh
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你說，只是半日都這麼多笑料，上課悶極有限。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wJ5wAXJTM
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～第03話　完～40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdyHAphlep
作者： 飛音璃