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＊本篇為白色情人節賀文(艸)，只有到R15，請放心食用。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRETgqZDagU
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＊CP為縹緲United，預計於5月春萌祭推出的自創BL短漫《隔塵喧囂》主角，林振戎x方函欽。詳見《隔塵喧囂人物設定》　。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMPfWIrnRO
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＊此純為個人喜好創作，寫開心的，轉文請附上原文全文及作者與出處。　　50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHzx8YvADA
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＊用字遣詞皆為個人特殊習慣，非專業寫手，文辭不當或是不合胃口也請上一頁離開。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeMTbv5yDDU
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＊祝讀者食用愉快（笑）50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOuSHYuXv9U
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　　方函欽難得在沒有課的午後是醒著的，他推了下鼻樑上的眼鏡，瞇起的眼睛盯著一團亂的桌面上某一點。他的目光在上頭停留幾秒，像是確認著什麼，再抬手看錶－－嗯，差不多了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6IbnqQXha3
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　　方函欽自床上坐起，隔壁安靜無聲，今天的這個時間，跟他分租這小家庭式公寓的傢伙還在上課。他在彷彿剛結束第三次世界大戰的雜亂房間中挖找自己平常背的背包，約莫十來秒摻雜各式髒話的咕噥跟一陣東西摔落的聲音，方涵欽終於站起來，手上還多了一包白色的東西。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqG0Al0ktR
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　　那一袋東西看來頗有分量，坐在方函欽手上沉甸甸的，上頭還綁了一個不怎麼起眼的金色緞帶，簡約不失優雅的包裝跟方函欽亂得誇張的房間完全不相襯。若是忽略如此驚人的背景，這個小東西跟眉清目秀的方函欽在同一個畫面裡倒是很和諧。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh68KWHc1Nm
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　　方函欽捧著手上的東西，推開房間門走到公共區域－－也就是客廳坐下，如貓一般隨興亂躺，拿起遙控器就是一陣亂轉。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXOa0EaUVU
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　　『再五分鐘。』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRezjbv7ITs
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　　時鐘滴滴答，五分鐘一到，家裡的鐵門傳來鐵片敲擊的聲音，方函欽本來就心不在電視上，他目光飄到大門，過不了幾秒一顆頭就自門後竄出，比他高大些的「室友」林振戎走進來，如往常般十二萬分爽朗乾脆打了聲招呼：50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtqZdBBnxI
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　　「唷，在看電視啊？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzrgf7kLoc
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　　「嗯。」方函欽面無表情以喉音應付哼了聲。林振戎早習慣方函欽的冷淡，只自顧自把球袋扔到一旁，一屁股坐下，眼睛直接黏上電視。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbVXhKoMLn
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　　「欸，有什麼好看的嗎？」林振戎完全沒發現方函欽在他坐下，而且直接忽略桌面上擺著的白色紙袋時瞬間露出的凶惡眼神。方函欽沒怎麼牽動他的臉部肌肉，那對眼睛卻射出足以穿透人、如毒蛇般的銳利目光，他瞇起眼眸，根本沒聽進林振戎在問什麼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOsYFyK1VI
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　　剛好這時林振戎伸手要拿過桌面的遙控器，方函欽彈身而起，搶先在林振戎之前一掌拍下按住遙控器，發出清脆的「啪」一聲。林振戎被方函欽突如其來的舉動嚇得連動都不敢動，只是睜大眼下意識爆出一句粗話「靠！阿欽你發瘋啊？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFwTaaAnrZ
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　　聞言，方函欽一個側身，伸出右腳就猛力往林振戎所坐的沙發上一踩，左手握住的遙控器就像把小刀架在林振戎的脖子上，方函欽稍微牽動嘴角的肌肉，形成一個極具威脅性的笑容「你說，今天是什麼日子？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzpO1u9MEV
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　　林振戎此刻只覺得自己活像被架在刀俎上的青蛙，他緊張到不停眨眼，方函欽那傢伙可是一腳踩在他的跨下，再幾公分他的寶貝就有極大的危險，是男人都會緊張到猛吞口水吧？他的腦袋開始高速運轉，林振戎彷彿在水中拼命游泳尋找「對的寶藏」的青蛙，但任憑他絞盡腦汁還是想不出眼前這個瘋子到底指的是什麼日子。『情人節嗎？那早過了！還是……生日？不對啊，這傢伙是天蠍座的。還是什麼偉人的誕辰紀念日？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKSTMOl6yb
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　　隨沉默時間拉長，林振戎越覺得方函欽的腳好像越來越逼近他的跨下，他不住冷汗直流，就在他覺得死定了的時候，方函欽突然起身，林振戎才剛要鬆口氣趁隙逃走，一隻手就迅速在他面前放大，下一秒他的嘴巴硬生被撬開後塞入一個東西。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWueheyjBcw
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　　「咳！唔喔……這什麼……」一顆圓不溜丟，還有一定硬度的東西在林振戎口內滾動，不消兩秒一股甜味自他鼻尖竄出『巧克力？』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhJONvKCSp
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　　「想起來了嗎？」方函欽雙手環胸，面無表情居高臨下看著一臉莫名其妙默默咀嚼小圓球的林振戎。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTy5SVYYkMd
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　　林振戎最怕的不是別的，正是方函欽這種看似一點事情也沒有，卻更顯咄咄逼人的無表情攻擊，冷靜的語氣跟銳利的眼神每次都讓他想到晃著尾巴、表皮光滑冰涼的蛇。他再次逼自己運轉腦袋，拼命思索究竟自己是不是遺漏掉什麼很重要的約定或是日期，偏偏他越想越往死胡同裡鑽。『到底跟巧克力有什麼關係啦！等等，這好像是牛奶口味的……』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHy4CFHti5
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　　等得不耐煩，顯然耐心用盡的方函欽壓下身，林振戎還來不及思考眼前壓迫感極大的室友到底想幹什麼，他的嘴唇已經先感覺到對方的柔軟。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMZPHjoGf4
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　　『欸欸欸？不對吧？突然親什麼的……等、等一下，舌頭……』林振戎還在咿咿嗚嗚，方函欽早用舌頭靈敏撥開林振戎本來就沒閉得很緊的牙齒，甚至強行侵入他的口中，以舌推擠被咬碎的白巧克力糖球，恣意掠奪林振戎的唇，也不顧他發出的抗議聲，跟不敢真的用力的推擠動作，擅自捲起一小塊碎片，直到吻夠了才又站起，情色舔過嘴唇，將方才搶到的白巧克力吞下。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBGElRWxkH
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　　「唔喔……」相較於餘刃有餘的方函欽，林振戎略顯狼狽狠狠用手臂抹過嘴唇，他的火氣大了起來，卻又沒辦法真的對眼前的傢伙臭罵一頓。方函欽看一眼面前臉紅到好比關公，一臉不甘心又怒氣甚深的林振戎，心想這白癡大概用上一百萬年的時間也想不透，直接一把扯住林振戎的籃球球衣領口，話也不說就直往自己房間走。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0ccNr6req
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　　方函欽甩開門的瞬間，那個跟房間一樣亂的書桌只有一小角很突兀地是乾淨的，向來不在桌曆上作任何標記的方函欽竟反常將某個日期用紅筆大大圈起。林振戎在心底大叫不妙，他腦中止不住哀號『噢，該死！三月十四號！』50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlaYYmrQzdY
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　　林振戎終於像是突然被打通任督二脈的人，瞬間領悟到整件事情的前因後果，他連忙在事態衍生到無可挽回之前脫口大聲說：50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOuA9oQAem
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　　「欸！阿欽，白色情人節快樂。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsdYCQXUChA
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　　方函欽身體猛地一陣，轉過頭時鏡片後的雙眼堆滿複雜情緒，鏡面反光讓他的眼神看來有點迷茫。林振戎見機立刻趁勝追擊，張開雙臂就抱緊眼前比起時常運動的自己身型略為削瘦的方函欽，直到感覺到方函欽原本的僵硬轉為軟化，將臉埋在他胸口輕蹭，甚至緩緩將手環上他的腰，林振戎才終於鬆一口氣。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8Nr9zXMJn
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　　『感謝老天，safe。』