這不是我寫的喔!這不是我寫的喔! (才怪)125Please respect copyright.PENANAjZUQUUzRPQ
僅此紀念我的基友大貘。
僅此紀念我的基友大貘。
125Please respect copyright.PENANAjrzOM47z6l
125Please respect copyright.PENANAuq8Y4Z1uPC
125Please respect copyright.PENANAn56Dj8EvaR
125Please respect copyright.PENANAcvn1EZNeh1
[佐鳴]事若春夢125Please respect copyright.PENANA3I7JSLQWqX
125Please respect copyright.PENANAR8ZoPkSkE8
125Please respect copyright.PENANALs4BX2vA1P
125Please respect copyright.PENANAwt557rXnCa
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遲早都會壞掉的。125Please respect copyright.PENANAw9sYgDlZYg
無論是過度擁擠的天空、群聚在大學樓頂的鴿子、被油汙和垃圾佔據的湖水,或是他似笑非笑、溫柔的眉角。那些東西,一次又一次掠過我削薄的水晶體,成像於視網膜,只看過一遍就全部忘記。它們遲早都會壞掉。125Please respect copyright.PENANAa6KvoKf8Wj
逐漸崩裂,碎開,甚麼也不剩。我知道我不必費力去記憶。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEwf4BMpcds
當我看見他的日記時我就知道了。堅硬的字體在淡米色的紙張上徒然挺立,彷彿擁有鐵一般的決心。125Please respect copyright.PENANApeQr97Fvro
盒子裡面還有一些東西,我說不出來的、帶有涵義的東西。手心裡抓著的石頭,正毅然決然地將我阻隔在外。“第三者。”石頭似乎開口說話了。“妳永遠進不去。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAHtXflHfYsQ
125Please respect copyright.PENANAg82H0Ertjl
我冷冷地捏碎石頭,翻開日記。125Please respect copyright.PENANAA9OHu8KWYj
125Please respect copyright.PENANARccQdYmKgU
125Please respect copyright.PENANAt8LxUGROfG
125Please respect copyright.PENANAYPcTAySDwv
● 我所豢養的一隻貘125Please respect copyright.PENANAv2MU5rPlFv
125Please respect copyright.PENANAvU7RbKGxtM
125Please respect copyright.PENANAhaQ0sq9w5k
那隻貘沒有名字。至少我還不知道要將牠取做甚麼。125Please respect copyright.PENANA9LF8W5VJBY
超乎人性的體貼,超乎想像的溫馴。我不是馴獸師,但牠非常愛我。就像情人一般,我們了解彼此。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbSKD4MIj0I
…當我這樣告訴鳴人的時候,他先是沉默,最後噗嗤一聲笑出來。125Please respect copyright.PENANApkDXVuauS5
“然後呢?”他橫躺在湖邊的樹下,“你決定將牠取名為甚麼?”125Please respect copyright.PENANA031JkDkk26
我說我還不知道。125Please respect copyright.PENANAOGcWBOPwHQ
鳴人看看我,抓起身旁一把枯葉,撒到半空中。他忽然站起來,拍拍屁股,說:“期中考不去,替我跟教授說抱歉吧。”125Please respect copyright.PENANA1JEOxr7iHq
然後走了。125Please respect copyright.PENANARnIfsoTa9W
鳴人缺考三次,缺席無數次,瀕臨退學。125Please respect copyright.PENANAyVoxZX4SFY
125Please respect copyright.PENANALg9Vh67z2v
貘,我該怎麼跟他說才好?125Please respect copyright.PENANA4kzrw9Szxo
我撫摸牠。牠仰起頭,又短又肥的鼻子在空氣中抽動兩下。125Please respect copyright.PENANAZhwoIvGQax
夜晚我抱著牠睡,感覺到前所未有的安全。125Please respect copyright.PENANAh68KfgzkT0
125Please respect copyright.PENANADpEv9cYrcq
我還不知道怎麼告訴鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAKyUgd5J7e4
125Please respect copyright.PENANAhbSWl9rSiT
貘吃掉了我邏輯課的報告,厚厚一疊A4紙,被嚼得只剩下封面殘骸。125Please respect copyright.PENANAolTGzWFl67
我苦笑,無法責備牠。牠的眼睛藏在黑色短毛中,有可能真的在凝視我,或者用動物的本能順從牠的主人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUNcpzUO056
上課的時候,我被教授點名站起來,大家交頭接耳議論紛紛。宇智波佐助居然也會忘記寫報告。他們是這樣說的。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnkWHqIez8r
我不會回頭看那些看我的人,因為我知道他們都在看我。125Please respect copyright.PENANA7o78ijuWUv
唯獨鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAwt204eximk
他不在教室。125Please respect copyright.PENANAw5atVDRmOG
他去屋頂睡覺了,兩手背在後腦勺,舒舒服服地打鼾。125Please respect copyright.PENANAHloXxal0N8
125Please respect copyright.PENANAkq9f4CVVT0
鹿丸跟他提過一個英國詩人,Andrew Marvell,如此矯飾的詩,最後卻被鳴人拿來編成一首情歌。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4yZIsmMXLF
To His Coy Mistress,“致羞怯的情人”。125Please respect copyright.PENANAM0XpxuKKDt
鳴人並不是真的會彈吉他,他頂多學會刷弦。還是從我這裡學來的。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5ZFvgLXEyJ
“為什麼要編這首歌?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAEyVqzTzk5b
“想追女孩。”他說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAmWMTphgqb8
125Please respect copyright.PENANA4mJpBakPvV
於是我的喉嚨有了一坨吐也吐不出來的膿血。125Please respect copyright.PENANAo0gRxNuOza
他揹著吉他離開宿舍,嘴巴裡哼哼唱唱。我痛恨Andrew Marvell,我更痛恨他說的那句:“我的愛會隨時間變化慢慢成長,比帝國的成長更慢,領域更廣。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAXNrOaGg4aA
這些柔軟矯情的句子很快就被鳴人含在口腔裡,鑽進另個女孩的耳朵。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzK14nZTsG5
125Please respect copyright.PENANAp2fX6hVS02
至此我鄙視十七世紀的英詩文學。那些大多沒有營養,談情說愛。125Please respect copyright.PENANAewnPw0TwFW
125Please respect copyright.PENANA7QQMKbMXaX
我決定將我的貘稱呼為“大貘”。“大貘”本身就沒甚麼意涵。如同他對我…我指的是,如同鳴人對我。125Please respect copyright.PENANARfY3VI13A6
125Please respect copyright.PENANAG1zYEKRKTF
125Please respect copyright.PENANA4A1QGFE983
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● 125Please respect copyright.PENANA8AVtUAxmQd
125Please respect copyright.PENANA91OFft6va3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAk3E5WllnBK
下初雪那天,背包裡的隨身手札被大貘咬出來,吃進肚子裡。125Please respect copyright.PENANA9uPJeq4rpV
當時我也許人在學校,也許在街道上任何一間咖啡館裡。鳴人和一個女孩手牽手從圖書館走出來,那女孩很漂亮,綠色眼睛,皮膚白皙,我知道她,她是系上最有人氣的女孩子。125Please respect copyright.PENANAGshq8Aqg19
他們在門口揮別彼此。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXQFrH7MIUG
鳴人的鼻子紅紅的,沒戴手套,他把手插入口袋中取暖。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXwVsaCA5KV
我走過去,踩過鋪上薄雪的道路,但是還沒和他搭上話之前,鳴人就轉身了。他的臉一下子沉靜下來,不動不笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANAk7irjP2Oty
我讓他踽踽地離開。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUX8C2VLw7e
125Please respect copyright.PENANAA25x0JQiQ6
手札沒寫甚麼重要的。只不過夾有兩張鳴人在中學時期傳給我的紙條,還有一張他的照片。125Please respect copyright.PENANA10Bv2krdsO
我默默地和大貘對望。牠漆黑的眼睛曝露了牠心懷不軌的動機。可是我沒說破,也不拆穿,我讓牠一口一口吃掉屬於我生活一部份的東西。125Please respect copyright.PENANADuDuqKn5YJ
125Please respect copyright.PENANAa9U0zpU8x5
在往後的日子裡,我無數次看見那女孩。她叫做春野櫻,個性開朗活潑,很有人緣。125Please respect copyright.PENANAwTo1xYJYuM
一日,我和鳴人在學生餐廳裡碰頭。125Please respect copyright.PENANAvDsxUM0fP0
“嗨,最近過得如何?”我拉開他身旁的椅子。125Please respect copyright.PENANATwKdZnB8Ko
他忽然面有難色。125Please respect copyright.PENANAcFXjqQnKQz
“怎麼了?”我問他。125Please respect copyright.PENANAOHUiVTh56P
鳴人抱歉地對我笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANADLOl0DJqgC
“不好意思,可不可以不要坐這裡?我女朋友等一下要來。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAayI207zl8n
125Please respect copyright.PENANAgUJ9GGnj6A
很久之後我才知道To His Coy Mistress已經被知名歌手改編過了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAKqJmPeGhZj
125Please respect copyright.PENANALaB3lha607
煽情。甜膩。旋律複雜得讓人厭煩。125Please respect copyright.PENANA1FtXCvsMPc
兩個禮拜後,我也交了一個女朋友,叫做香燐,脾氣火爆但一遇到我就會柔情似水,像個小女人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAAtQndxTsTU
交往三天,我們就上床。125Please respect copyright.PENANANlUV8IIcTv
她摘下眼鏡,脫掉衣服,敞開雙腿如同吃飯一樣自然。125Please respect copyright.PENANAWY96khqEcB
125Please respect copyright.PENANAk4HRq3onUI
完事之後,她拉上棉被蓋住自己的頭。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhlDiOZldNO
我看見大貘窩在房間角落,不聲不響。125Please respect copyright.PENANAd8SuDMhltZ
我抽一根菸,對牠說:“你有甚麼好不滿的。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAZrskn1XHhn
香燐轉過來,問,你在跟誰說話?125Please respect copyright.PENANApLNzh28u9r
我說,我在和我豢養的寵物說話。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnSp9zzMeGz
125Please respect copyright.PENANA9Fd7H8UTv4
她盯著我瞧,五分鐘過去,她俐落地穿上衣服,離開我的公寓。125Please respect copyright.PENANACXD8tNGvnt
125Please respect copyright.PENANAee372fXR1m
然後我們再也不碰面了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhL6ZkgEESm
125Please respect copyright.PENANAHqWEJD8PNL
125Please respect copyright.PENANAvbfxoN0faA
●125Please respect copyright.PENANAugQeZl8bkg
125Please respect copyright.PENANA6VBwRePDd3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAbQP1dEY6Bj
我和鳴人都認識鹿丸。他是個頭腦比誰都還清楚的人。125Please respect copyright.PENANA18Ex6oLxNc
125Please respect copyright.PENANAC50cb6ipC2
大三下學期的暑假,我們這群中學同學一起去山上露營。對我來說,此行的意義看起來並不那麼單純。鳴人身旁的人還是春野櫻,他們已經交往一個半月。125Please respect copyright.PENANAkGwFl0r83i
125Please respect copyright.PENANAQDixUjnVHK
出發前一天,我溫緩地揉著大貘的肚子,告訴牠:“我不在的這幾天,要好好照顧自己。”然後遞給牠一本珍藏的相冊。牠用呆滯的表情咬過去,散漫地咀嚼。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUpyqm8iGEJ
125Please respect copyright.PENANAUaughrZdE4
鳴人的笑臉在牠的口水中逐漸扭曲、溶解。125Please respect copyright.PENANAlXvti2JWrM
125Please respect copyright.PENANAGSydpeN0kv
露營的第一天晚上,他和她手牽手離開帳篷。有人看到了,曖昧地對大家笑,我也接收到別人的視線,嘗試一起微笑,可是辦不到。125Please respect copyright.PENANAx2uaS4GwaP
我掀開帳篷,跟著出去。125Please respect copyright.PENANAa4SvDfCNWu
他們在月光下接吻,雙舌交纏,四肢糾結在一起。125Please respect copyright.PENANAan76gjZbsq
末了,他推開她,說,抱歉,我們還是分手吧。125Please respect copyright.PENANATEQyxciRgw
125Please respect copyright.PENANAaA5C65FBWZ
她的手來到他平坦無瀾的胯下,用力一捏,虛弱地哼笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5jqKUTmKvr
“真沒用。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAH9kTDkrqLz
125Please respect copyright.PENANAYZt8RmLkY4
125Please respect copyright.PENANAoPr6NiGmSN
Andrew Marvell最終還是浮浮沉沉地落敗。125Please respect copyright.PENANAPvLVawChEh
他不需要負責任,那和他的情詩沒有關係。我在此時卻開始憐憫起Andrew Marvell,這個熱情澎湃、矯揉做作的詩人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEsNJTjuIxu
125Please respect copyright.PENANA7WAWYllGuI
大貘走到我身邊,將頭靠在我的膝蓋上。125Please respect copyright.PENANAFVMPEljxPC
我從地板揀起相冊的殘片,扔進垃圾桶裡。125Please respect copyright.PENANATO41kAukyV
125Please respect copyright.PENANAyFBAYNMF3A
“該怎麼辦才好?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAtRl95wGNnG
我摸著大貘。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXgRB4BRHsN
125Please respect copyright.PENANAxa3NzhZqrf
125Please respect copyright.PENANAINxvMibAoF
鳴人和春野櫻分手的理由,到現在還不明白。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5tQIFITE8p
他只不過沒有在適當的時候勃起,如此而已。他就要為了這件事和她分手嗎?125Please respect copyright.PENANAtLQHZfiuym
鹿丸彷彿看透一切,獨自在宿舍陽台上抽菸,往下望。我在他的房間裡用打字機敲出期末報告。最近大貘的胃口變大了,把牆上那幅鳴人給我的畫連著畫框吃掉。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtvE7aczwTu
125Please respect copyright.PENANASGWXhUidi4
“你想怎樣?”鹿丸突然撣落煙灰,問我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAAB09I6KS6Q
“甚麼怎麼樣。”我沒停手。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXtN5lEUYJP
“對鳴人…”他的聲音越來越小,到最後乾脆不講話。125Please respect copyright.PENANAcyhfXhS1Zx
我敲完報告,把紙撕下來,裝訂整齊。125Please respect copyright.PENANAor1KchdJOK
離開房間前,鹿丸把我拉住。“從中學時就開始了,不是嗎?”他睿智的雙眼盯著我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAfFntZnOFWJ
125Please respect copyright.PENANAxA8CZ4JgxI
面無血色的窗簾自他身後揚揚飛起。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUU47EQyW5z
我逃開了。125Please respect copyright.PENANARWzHAaxrSo
125Please respect copyright.PENANAOJAwsAAUEV
希區考克的電影,不是驚悚,而是在縝密之外闢出一條險路,讓你一腳踩入。125Please respect copyright.PENANASyzCNieLJ7
黑白畫面在電視裡兀自轉播,看到一半的時候,接收器毫無預警地壞了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAqSbDrMe3L3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAzkp3UjWvQ8
我和鳴人曾經如此要好。彼此都是心中最好的朋友和夥伴。125Please respect copyright.PENANAqD2XJAgeW3
有那麼幾次,莫名的預感告訴我,其實我們想的東西都相同。渴望更進一步、渴望撫摸。就在兩個人都還是中學生的時候,一個炎炎夏日,我握住他拿著冰棍的那隻手,輕輕吻上他。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIJ4oV0xdk3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAj9Ot8dVXiV
他卻沒有預料中的反應。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzsKZWwGyim
125Please respect copyright.PENANAei0HxLc6aR
冰棍掉到地面,迅速蒸發。125Please respect copyright.PENANAd29jPYx3EB
只留我一個人坐在公園的長椅上。125Please respect copyright.PENANAVMuCr8LL3D
125Please respect copyright.PENANA4uu3cx0n7T
《繩子》裡面的long-shot,就是從那之後的,我的雙眼。125Please respect copyright.PENANAX64Geb6mIg
125Please respect copyright.PENANA2PTnB2VxGf
125Please respect copyright.PENANA9x49R6CEfe
●125Please respect copyright.PENANApUZB2qWBPe
125Please respect copyright.PENANA53U5BsVqhr
125Please respect copyright.PENANAiTdzX7Q3VP
鳴人不斷地逃避我。用他一貫的微笑和友善。125Please respect copyright.PENANALyBLJInkZn
我們再次相聚四年,既快樂又悲傷。他過他的,我過我的,沒有誰起疑。除了奈良鹿丸。125Please respect copyright.PENANAeS6Q2Pc3MJ
大貘,你說我該怎麼辦?我該拿他怎麼辦?125Please respect copyright.PENANAi9KBTdTwrt
我看著我的寵物吃掉一台收音機、兩捲卡帶、三張德式蛋餅(原本要拿來做晚餐的)、四顆蒜頭。牠滿足了自己的肚腹,舔舔鼻子,黑色眼睛斜過來看我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAdjpy5WmLYn
你還想吃掉甚麼?125Please respect copyright.PENANApEh8meHHzF
我搔搔牠的下巴,牠發出連續的呼嚕聲。125Please respect copyright.PENANApxMuYKC3z1
125Please respect copyright.PENANAWkZYniewgc
鳴人被退學了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAOv8iLQeuOj
是在意料之中的預料之外。125Please respect copyright.PENANAdXUuAgU8Y2
這件事我從別人的口裡聽說,卻格外真實。125Please respect copyright.PENANAttmoy1MLpv
125Please respect copyright.PENANAD4PdO4hJhl
我敲敲他寢室的門。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnbSTwNOk5Y
125Please respect copyright.PENANAv20qrUXKmH
“怎麼了?”他打開門,問我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAg4bv1ryhTD
“…皮夾沒了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAabNwtY3awn
“怎麼會沒了?”125Please respect copyright.PENANA4TbMwoRhsN
“被我豢養的寵物吃掉了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAJoqZ0lqpXR
他古怪地笑,然後讓我進去。125Please respect copyright.PENANAHyys3vuHjg
鳴人是個隨性的男孩子,房間有些凌亂,比上次我看到的還要亂一些。125Please respect copyright.PENANAyBJlUm7NK9
“吃晚餐了沒?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAgpqw6iSJm4
“吃過了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAmPldAjHBIw
“…喝點運動飲料吧,我看你流很多汗。”鳴人從床底下的箱子摸出一個鋁箔包,遞給我。“明天期末考對吧。”125Please respect copyright.PENANABPw2yBc0HO
“對。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAabPL2rpJj3
“這麼有把握拿滿分啊?”他笑。“還有空來我這裡瞎混。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAceAsfDymom
鳴人戴上耳機,坐在書桌前,閱讀一本原文書。125Please respect copyright.PENANALQghbfQkyN
我在他的床上沉穩入眠。125Please respect copyright.PENANAJvSOWabOhF
半夜時我醒過來,鳴人不在寢內。我走到陽台上,往下方看,他一個人站在花圃中,抱著吉他,嘴裡哼著歌。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5Puei3UjRG
125Please respect copyright.PENANAMGmpQh1Ziq
“只要我們有足夠的空間和時間,這份羞怯,吾愛,就不算罪過…”125Please respect copyright.PENANABEQWtBemIo
125Please respect copyright.PENANAOLm9fCl9VO
是To His Coy Mistress。125Please respect copyright.PENANAv59LwBr5WB
我站在陽台,站一整夜。和他一起。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8y7Rg4K3rq
我們都沒有參加期末考試。125Please respect copyright.PENANAR58Zuk1SKN
125Please respect copyright.PENANAgcUGLtAPyi
大貘,你會明白嗎?125Please respect copyright.PENANAzzvFvGbA5f
當你用空洞的眼睛看著我的時候,是不是有讀出我想說的任何訊息。125Please respect copyright.PENANAqQA8EYRTW3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAGOHVmg2Ta2
後天早上,同學們睜大眼睛,看著我走進教室裡。教授也走進來,一個禿頭佬,輕輕咳嗽,瞥我一眼。他沉重的目光透過又厚又大的鏡片傳過來。125Please respect copyright.PENANA99ypRAe4l7
我聳聳肩。125Please respect copyright.PENANACANwhOVJfZ
他搖搖頭。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXj7DsDhhep
我知道,我丟了進他研究室的資格。125Please respect copyright.PENANAz39MgjLv8P
那也無所謂,畢竟我的畢業報告已經被大貘給吃了。牠津津有味地嗑掉膠裝封面,接著打個飽嗝。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzAPjI99Mep
“味道不錯吧,這份報告我可是寫了半年…”125Please respect copyright.PENANA6E1woz1qmP
我說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEksBoyyxkn
牠又用飽嗝來表示滿足。125Please respect copyright.PENANAR5YCoVG5gu
125Please respect copyright.PENANA1kc6URfGZA
鳴人很快就離開學生宿舍。他找到一間雅房,雨天的時候,外面下大雨,裡面下小雨。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtVjHzQdF3Y
他的朋友都去替他慶祝。七八個人擠在小小的房間裡,大肆喝酒聊天。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhfiGHf35py
我沒去,可是我知道那晚發生的事情。是鹿丸告訴我的。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEPVl4nhosr
他說,鳴人喝得很茫,誰都不認得。125Please respect copyright.PENANAILY4OqD0n4
他說,鳴人喝茫了之後抓了人就亂親。125Please respect copyright.PENANAw58qU9RKzJ
他說,鳴人就在拉扯和親吻之間吐出一個人的名字。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbQyC5yfo2Y
125Please respect copyright.PENANAEtCkkSmy8J
“佐助…佐助…其實我…”125Please respect copyright.PENANABSuxvwa3y3
125Please respect copyright.PENANA3QDzO8pVvx
125Please respect copyright.PENANApxcDdWuP3G
我說,鹿丸,夠了,我不想聽。125Please respect copyright.PENANAWBB4MeTwn9
125Please respect copyright.PENANAO1crf9IJJA
沒有人懂我和他到底想要甚麼。125Please respect copyright.PENANAf3QdGygDnK
因為我們也不懂自己。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEU5WeZkM17
被退學之後,他不再上大學,每天都在打零工。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbbhK4CtYIv
有人在洗衣店看過他,有人在咖啡廳看過他,甚至是深夜的加油站裡,也能看見他在椅子上打盹。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8iUYPQXHdX
我猜想,他應該不再彈吉他了。125Please respect copyright.PENANA3KabDFZxFo
125Please respect copyright.PENANAxJuufKtjlb
而我呢?125Please respect copyright.PENANAwuK00lFEpq
我仍然和大貘一起生活,並且在畢業前夕交了一名新的女友。125Please respect copyright.PENANA7JXvl4M4mr
她叫做春野櫻。125Please respect copyright.PENANAfpYmdSKiDS
她周旋在我和漩渦鳴人之間,以快速又難以捉摸的姿態做一隻候鳥。125Please respect copyright.PENANARxsTZJJp0D
我並不喜歡她,可是她也不介意我是不是愛她。125Please respect copyright.PENANAOe5XsYBtw3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAQH2YrSMgCl
“各取所需…你最了解的吧?”125Please respect copyright.PENANA6R8ngumDum
她撢去菸灰,笑了笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhb1qdgqGFc
我把褲子穿上,走出房間,倒一杯水給自己。125Please respect copyright.PENANAmo2pRGJrHw
她佔據大貘的床,毫不介意地睡著。125Please respect copyright.PENANArekPr9lair
大貘蜷縮在房子角落。我心疼地摸摸牠的頭,給牠吃一箱衣服。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIblsOyG06x
125Please respect copyright.PENANAIiqV7334V8
我聽說春野櫻偶爾會去找鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbgB60QMzWs
也聽說鳴人和另一個女人在一起。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbwDz6tKyyC
可是沒有人敢肯定地說,因為鳴人已經很久不出現在朋友面前了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAmryjgL5RTL
他繼續過他的,我繼續過我的。我重新做回一名好學生,人人稱羨的高材生。在課堂上是睿智的、成熟的宇智波佐助,下課後,回到家裡,卻豢養一隻有可能根本不存在的貘獸。125Please respect copyright.PENANAJ3m30rMetB
只有奈良鹿丸一個人看透我的軟弱。125Please respect copyright.PENANAw4RDsXFyxk
他看我的眼神,彷彿在嘲笑我的無能和膽小。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8Lma7Y3lGr
125Please respect copyright.PENANA5b7MIm8NhW
大貘,我哪裡做錯了?125Please respect copyright.PENANA026XQwBaII
125Please respect copyright.PENANANN1nLiXxKE
時間會慢慢過去,而我們會遺忘。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtCeEeikJpd
就像夏天裡逐漸蒸發的冰棒,一點一點消失在空氣裡。我說,奈良鹿丸,你一點都不懂我們。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnCRrZtBT63
他說,你才是一點都不懂鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAh9d0UHzkpq
錯了,其實我們都不懂Andrew Marvell,才不能意會他的情詩。畢竟他說:“只要我們有足夠的空間和時間,這份羞怯,吾愛,就不算罪過…”125Please respect copyright.PENANAWgvFLt6E4q
125Please respect copyright.PENANAToObxQxLHo
三年後,我成為碩士生,和春野櫻訂婚。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXCl0QuRnPE
她保有她的生活,保有她對其他男人接觸的權力,我向來不干涉這一切。125Please respect copyright.PENANA827cysTNVk
125Please respect copyright.PENANAwtMoNAoNF0
我的貘懶懶地抬頭看我一眼,然後繼續沉睡。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIS25DIXBI7
牠在這幾年越來越瘦,肋骨都清晰可見。125Please respect copyright.PENANAWHew1iR8t0
離開大學後,我和春野櫻搬到另一個繁榮的城市,並在那裡舉行婚禮。婚禮前夕,我搭了特快車回到故居,背包裡有一張要給鳴人的婚宴邀請卡。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIkTFbG72Lh
其實我本來不打算這麼做的,我把這張卡片湊到大貘面前,可是牠僅僅抽動鼻子,嗅了嗅,一點都不感興趣地撇過頭。125Please respect copyright.PENANARktp9htvOg
這也許是甚麼徵兆。125Please respect copyright.PENANAofWwJSiBwq
125Please respect copyright.PENANAyTMtKUAB07
我走入鳴人原本該住著的公寓。經過這麼多年,他有可能已經不住在這裡。我嘗試敲門,可是狹窄的樓梯間裡除了回音之外,沒有任何動靜。125Please respect copyright.PENANATgsAGUAt9x
十分鐘過去,半小時過去,我拿出邀請卡,想把它塞進門縫裡了事。125Please respect copyright.PENANABUE11RFJ92
可是我聽見腳步聲,一步一步傳上來。125Please respect copyright.PENANAGsfMrXLodJ
我回頭,順間掉進湛藍的海底。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnljJrBlGQO
125Please respect copyright.PENANA5SOZYXnqDU
鳴人就在我後面,他麥色的肌膚,耀眼的頭髮,澄澈的眼神。125Please respect copyright.PENANADg7O4rdfj4
125Please respect copyright.PENANA4RQIKwHFbH
我甚麼都沒辦法開口說。125Please respect copyright.PENANA0oWrOOgUVv
他也張大嘴巴,愣愣地看著我。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4UeglFIs2T
125Please respect copyright.PENANA3KLpvczsq5
“你…”125Please respect copyright.PENANA3lzKwWGZvq
我想要問他,這幾年過得好不好。125Please respect copyright.PENANAyNbELm9gEH
就在我即將吐出一串破碎的句子之前,一個人影出現在樓梯,他慢慢走上來,站到鳴人身邊。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUQ9Q8oIBTx
“怎麼了,不是說要回來拿東西?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAK9U6y2MWYq
那男人,一手搭在鳴人的肩上。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbM3IIFwUav
他露出虛偽的笑容,眼睛轉向我。“這位是…?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAE3xUUf6eNy
沒等鳴人解釋,我就自己開口:“我是漩渦的大學同學,今天來拿邀請卡給他的。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAG3cDfUXMxz
“…邀請卡?”鳴人喃喃地唸。125Please respect copyright.PENANA7XAwHWwNol
“我要結婚了。”我說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAi1AtH4Qw26
我相信我的嘴唇在顫抖。125Please respect copyright.PENANAj7N9KqDFnn
鳴人的表情僵了一下,卻很快地恢復,並對我說:“恭喜。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAa0a4Wa3o16
125Please respect copyright.PENANAKHTiJYcKrW
我冷冷地抽了嘴角,瞥那男人一眼,再看看他,說,你也是。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4xaaaaani5
然後頭也不回地走了。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8mrd15wOE6
125Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZuGcBJXJ2
我甚至忘記邀請卡還捏在手裡。125Please respect copyright.PENANAKbQhu9MP5K
125Please respect copyright.PENANAjib3MuxylV
大貘,直到現在我才明白我還愛他。我最喜歡的是他燦爛的笑臉,一副無所謂卻常常不甘心的臉,還有在草地上跑起來的模樣,兩隻手敞開,讓風吹過每一吋毛細孔。中學時,他常常和我分享同一塊麵包,同一個便當,同一把傘,甚至同一張床。現在我訝異我居然和他蓋過同一條被子而可以甚麼事都不發生。125Please respect copyright.PENANAG4B4SptsZz
我想要他,不管是五年,十年,二十年,我仍然想要他。漩渦鳴人是一塊疙瘩,長在心上,長在我去也去不掉的地方。可是我卻抗拒一切發生,讓事情走到像現在這樣的局面。125Please respect copyright.PENANAfgZlbNCH3s
做甚麼也挽救不了。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8SjVY6BnGt
125Please respect copyright.PENANAe5Wpce5h8Y
我開著車,到市中心最繁華的地方,進去一間酒吧。125Please respect copyright.PENANAvS4VwSGhdC
以前大學朋友常常來這裡聚著聊天,現在一點影子都不剩了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAH88gqt8o9M
昏黃的燈光,香菸的氣味繚繞整個地下室,低聲笑語恍如隔世,我的耳中只有冰塊在酒杯裡碰撞的聲音。125Please respect copyright.PENANABDFKaXfl0S
125Please respect copyright.PENANA0DClc83Efp
我沒有把自己灌醉。明天我將是一名新郎。125Please respect copyright.PENANA2T71wYh1q8
有人踩著皮鞋,走到我身邊,向酒保要一杯烈酒。125Please respect copyright.PENANAfblnpueZzC
男人一口氣把酒喝完,發出嘖嘖聲。我忍不住轉過頭去看他。125Please respect copyright.PENANAYBL86aRbNL
那是一名纖瘦的少年,有著黑色的瞳孔和黑色的頭髮。125Please respect copyright.PENANAxo7prwFDKO
長得居然跟我很像。125Please respect copyright.PENANAaA2r4u3f70
125Please respect copyright.PENANAKRiqEVCV28
“你好。”他拘謹地說。125Please respect copyright.PENANACCe2i4haUw
我挑挑眉。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4tg4OeTPD7
“一個人嗎?”他問。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZJAkfp8ih
我把頭撇過去,沒理他。125Please respect copyright.PENANACEAlrsBKKw
少年自討無趣,又點了一杯酒。125Please respect copyright.PENANAjEokMjKc4H
“…看你落寞的樣子,大概是失戀了吧。”他說。“啊,也許你不需要安慰吧。你要結婚了嗎?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAQFljZakiy3
我有些意外,卻想起我就把揉爛的卡片放在桌上。125Please respect copyright.PENANA7JE8YWjovH
“你喜歡你的新娘嗎?”他問。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5BgGnMQrHU
少年非常多話。我悶頭喝我的酒,沒回答。125Please respect copyright.PENANA6oOVPakbWH
“…大概是不喜歡吧。”他聳聳肩。“我知道你不喜歡。”125Please respect copyright.PENANArSfQF0voeq
我看他一眼,說:“你又懂甚麼了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANABfFvXdy4zB
“當然懂,”他微笑。“我知道你愛別的人。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAUzvGZ9dGlJ
我冷冷地笑,說,現在已經不愛了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAy5aSoCEsJ0
“不是這樣,我看得出來。”少年用黑色的眼睛盯住我。“你一直愛他。”125Please respect copyright.PENANALrZYHMHd6b
說完,他又自顧自地咂嘴。“可是既然你說你不愛,那就是不愛吧。”125Please respect copyright.PENANADOZJ9Ng4nh
我沒理會他話裡的自相矛盾。125Please respect copyright.PENANA2aNTQX4OXV
“愛就愛,不愛就不愛,沒甚麼大不了的。”他說。“可是你這種樣子,肯定只是鴕鳥心態。”125Please respect copyright.PENANALd7f13l8yl
我狠狠地把杯裡的酒飲盡。125Please respect copyright.PENANAP9C4CEVa3k
少年咯咯笑,從口袋裡掏出幾張紙鈔和一些叮叮咚咚的東西。125Please respect copyright.PENANAPIOiYO8tR0
他把東西都推到酒保面前,我聽見酒保不悅地說:“這甚麼?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAo3nhar4JFb
我斜眼瞄他放到桌上的那堆東西,忽然看見一張已經扯破、撕爛的學生證。125Please respect copyright.PENANAMMkVSi6L0P
上面那個人是我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAQqqHuSIGN9
糊掉的學生姓名旁邊,有一行藍筆筆跡寫著:佐助大笨蛋。125Please respect copyright.PENANAPA9hmdnAH9
我倏然站起,看到寫了我的名字的會員卡、兩張鳴人傳給我的紙條、只剩半顆頭的鳴人照片…125Please respect copyright.PENANAfXK1bv77xw
少年漆黑的眼睛把我吸進去。125Please respect copyright.PENANApTFF8nDQyb
“還來得及,”他說。“只要你不畏懼。”125Please respect copyright.PENANA7WkrBUCF3q
125Please respect copyright.PENANA1utPKSRkM5
我連帳都沒付就衝出酒吧。125Please respect copyright.PENANAynF4lnQIQ6
125Please respect copyright.PENANAXO0PUfhMbx
街道上的行人變成一抹一抹的色彩,天已經黑了,我鑽入車子裡,引擎的聲音瞬間重擊我的心臟。我想到那些被大貘吞進肚子裡的東西,我想到牠總是一言不發地盯著我,我想到牠安靜地聆聽我說種種關於鳴人的事…可是牠卻不曾告訴我牠的想法。車子在夜色下拐了彎,駛到鳴人的公寓前。它似乎以一種莊嚴卻悲傷的姿態等待,也許公寓裡面有人,也許沒有,我踏踏雜雜地衝上樓梯,站在鐵門前,用力敲著門。125Please respect copyright.PENANAHIrLHSIzko
鐵門有打開的跡象。我緊張地探頭,燦黃的金髮跳入視線。125Please respect copyright.PENANA6Vr9aI9ZeT
125Please respect copyright.PENANAMc8rDKP091
鳴人穿著寬鬆輕便的衣服,愣在門口。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzFb6oh6p9u
我還在喘氣,眼睛沒敢離開他一秒鐘。125Please respect copyright.PENANAllXrPAYE30
125Please respect copyright.PENANAacWSemBxcl
“你…你怎麼會…”125Please respect copyright.PENANA4iIIQIJq8p
“鳴人。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAYOoPcRiB0k
我叫他。125Please respect copyright.PENANAv3eLmj8Ei2
他像聽見甚麼不可思議的聲音,身體抖了一下。125Please respect copyright.PENANAxoqcnMaCZn
“…鳴人。”125Please respect copyright.PENANA2FHmyDy5C9
我徑直拉開門,一手握住他的手腕。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzG7ouI5DlG
他往後退幾步,掛上複雜的表情,用力著想要掙脫。125Please respect copyright.PENANAo3nfELVF52
“你、你這麼晚還不回去,是要給我送婚宴的邀請卡嗎?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAjyUQ0Moeup
他問。他硬是扯出笑臉,這樣的笑臉很難看,我只在中學時看過一次,就是在他被喜歡的女孩子給甩了的時候。125Please respect copyright.PENANAffZKLZHSn8
我逼近他,兩隻手牽制住他的肩膀,他虛弱地笑,嘗試扭動身體,但是在他看見我認真的眼神之後,他的笑臉逐漸變成慌亂的表情。125Please respect copyright.PENANArCPwwYEmag
“你別跟我開玩笑,”他說。“拜託,快離開這裡。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAsfjpM76NIA
“為什麼?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAmDKqPmHYiE
“沒有為什麼!”125Please respect copyright.PENANAwgr3BdVC7J
“你還討厭我嗎?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAUrPrw4pEFW
“我沒有討厭過你…”125Please respect copyright.PENANAyxjbHCXWM9
“那我們…”125Please respect copyright.PENANAKoI0qryX2j
“你走開好嗎?”鳴人說。他的聲音已經快要失控。“你幹嘛現在出現?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAjDtcxa0uFi
“因為我明天要結婚了。”我清晰地說。“可是我喜歡你。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAbIYoPhlWfg
他噤聲。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhcMEUrpV0S
我們都安靜下來。125Please respect copyright.PENANAuwq0QbZnsh
我把臉湊過去,感覺到他炙熱急促的呼吸。125Please respect copyright.PENANAJL50Aoiy0E
“對不起。”我說。“我是真的喜歡你。”125Please respect copyright.PENANACnm7cOUvbP
125Please respect copyright.PENANAohI7v8RULa
我抱住他,緩緩地,把他的頭放到我肩膀上。我從來沒有那麼多話過,可是就在今夜,我們站在玄關,我跟他說我一點都不愛春野櫻,說我從中學時就一直深愛他,說我不敢繼續接近他的原因是我是個膽小鬼,沒辦法承受第二次失敗,我還說我只想要他一個人,我只想要漩渦鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIZ9RGYpfc7
他默默地聽著,偶爾笑出聲,他忍著不讓淚水流出來,我也是,我們都很倔強,我們都在等時間去沖淡,可是有很多事情,時間只會把它繼續推移,繼續前進。125Please respect copyright.PENANAT2nK1a4L5T
125Please respect copyright.PENANAzVs2QjsoYr
“婚禮怎麼辦?”125Please respect copyright.PENANA0GQJGa041k
他問。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhSClUYwX48
“取消吧。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAenGEJwBL9p
我說。125Please respect copyright.PENANA139LmcCAQu
125Please respect copyright.PENANAUMmvGy9Dxw
隔天早上,我接到春野櫻的電話。她冷靜地說她早就取消婚禮了,甚至有一半以上的婚宴邀請卡都沒有寄出去。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5TGgmKEhy5
她說話的口氣十分平淡,沒有怨恨也沒有沮喪。125Please respect copyright.PENANAxkAGttLala
“我懂你。”她說。聲音有一絲絲笑意。125Please respect copyright.PENANAgJzvwaEueP
125Please respect copyright.PENANAKFOr0i8Zl2
然後鹿丸也打給鳴人了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7u2uilVKI
鳴人坐在沙發上,支支吾吾地應聲。我走過去,站在他身旁,他看了我一眼後迅速地掛掉電話。125Please respect copyright.PENANAkVqKMAEHNk
“怎麼了。”我問。125Please respect copyright.PENANAAyDM50qc4E
他低聲囁嚅,我沒聽清楚。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnqJXp8kFsw
“鹿丸說…別被你給騙了。”他說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAanvUNxfYPt
“…上次那個男的,是誰?”我問。125Please respect copyright.PENANAGk82BbIXcX
“那個啊,”,鳴人似乎在竊笑。“只是一起打工的朋友而已,他想開我玩笑才那樣說話的。”125Please respect copyright.PENANADeTtIMVnIo
125Please respect copyright.PENANAtaoJNDuUgT
我們搭了車到現在我住的城市。春野櫻已經打包好行李,準備搬離我和她同居的地方。125Please respect copyright.PENANARTRbnWasuf
“祝妳好運。”我對她說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAolf8DwqWDT
她笑,然後把鑰匙還給我。“這東西終於要交給正確的主人了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANA0pL2cmwg82
春野櫻把行李送到樓下,在門口處向我們道別。125Please respect copyright.PENANADUPLP4fgwt
“啊,”她在臨走前忽然靠近我,附到我耳邊說:“其實…我看得見那個。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAIlcECU64YL
125Please respect copyright.PENANAoh5W6ehAzc
我像被電擊一般跳起來。125Please respect copyright.PENANAFStIC0xBko
125Please respect copyright.PENANA7UOl5C9dyY
春野櫻露出神秘的微笑,揮揮手,走入電梯。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUkDdzdqckh
125Please respect copyright.PENANAHWVJtx4dsO
125Please respect copyright.PENANASzq8IU2jx8
“對了,”鳴人把頭轉向我。“佐助,你不是說你養過寵物?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAdylypJaF8D
我笑了笑,把門關上,一手搭上他的肩。“你好奇?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAeqRCernklM
“當然。”125Please respect copyright.PENANASz3Tbcro48
125Please respect copyright.PENANAqP988EY84H
“那我會慢慢告訴你…”125Please respect copyright.PENANA2RiOqANAlX
125Please respect copyright.PENANAiXFJvj6sUF
125Please respect copyright.PENANABl08B3alYq
兩個男孩,一隻貘,還有像春夢一般的故事。125Please respect copyright.PENANACntSUFty76
125Please respect copyright.PENANA7euOfwbPdw
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FIN
ns216.73.216.206da2 125Please respect copyright.PENANAuq8Y4Z1uPC
125Please respect copyright.PENANAn56Dj8EvaR
125Please respect copyright.PENANAcvn1EZNeh1
[佐鳴]事若春夢125Please respect copyright.PENANA3I7JSLQWqX
125Please respect copyright.PENANAR8ZoPkSkE8
125Please respect copyright.PENANALs4BX2vA1P
125Please respect copyright.PENANAwt557rXnCa
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遲早都會壞掉的。125Please respect copyright.PENANAw9sYgDlZYg
無論是過度擁擠的天空、群聚在大學樓頂的鴿子、被油汙和垃圾佔據的湖水,或是他似笑非笑、溫柔的眉角。那些東西,一次又一次掠過我削薄的水晶體,成像於視網膜,只看過一遍就全部忘記。它們遲早都會壞掉。125Please respect copyright.PENANAa6KvoKf8Wj
逐漸崩裂,碎開,甚麼也不剩。我知道我不必費力去記憶。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEwf4BMpcds
當我看見他的日記時我就知道了。堅硬的字體在淡米色的紙張上徒然挺立,彷彿擁有鐵一般的決心。125Please respect copyright.PENANApeQr97Fvro
盒子裡面還有一些東西,我說不出來的、帶有涵義的東西。手心裡抓著的石頭,正毅然決然地將我阻隔在外。“第三者。”石頭似乎開口說話了。“妳永遠進不去。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAHtXflHfYsQ
125Please respect copyright.PENANAg82H0Ertjl
我冷冷地捏碎石頭,翻開日記。125Please respect copyright.PENANAA9OHu8KWYj
125Please respect copyright.PENANARccQdYmKgU
125Please respect copyright.PENANAt8LxUGROfG
125Please respect copyright.PENANAYPcTAySDwv
● 我所豢養的一隻貘125Please respect copyright.PENANAv2MU5rPlFv
125Please respect copyright.PENANAvU7RbKGxtM
125Please respect copyright.PENANAhaQ0sq9w5k
那隻貘沒有名字。至少我還不知道要將牠取做甚麼。125Please respect copyright.PENANA9LF8W5VJBY
超乎人性的體貼,超乎想像的溫馴。我不是馴獸師,但牠非常愛我。就像情人一般,我們了解彼此。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbSKD4MIj0I
…當我這樣告訴鳴人的時候,他先是沉默,最後噗嗤一聲笑出來。125Please respect copyright.PENANApkDXVuauS5
“然後呢?”他橫躺在湖邊的樹下,“你決定將牠取名為甚麼?”125Please respect copyright.PENANA031JkDkk26
我說我還不知道。125Please respect copyright.PENANAOGcWBOPwHQ
鳴人看看我,抓起身旁一把枯葉,撒到半空中。他忽然站起來,拍拍屁股,說:“期中考不去,替我跟教授說抱歉吧。”125Please respect copyright.PENANA1JEOxr7iHq
然後走了。125Please respect copyright.PENANARnIfsoTa9W
鳴人缺考三次,缺席無數次,瀕臨退學。125Please respect copyright.PENANAyVoxZX4SFY
125Please respect copyright.PENANALg9Vh67z2v
貘,我該怎麼跟他說才好?125Please respect copyright.PENANA4kzrw9Szxo
我撫摸牠。牠仰起頭,又短又肥的鼻子在空氣中抽動兩下。125Please respect copyright.PENANAZhwoIvGQax
夜晚我抱著牠睡,感覺到前所未有的安全。125Please respect copyright.PENANAh68KfgzkT0
125Please respect copyright.PENANADpEv9cYrcq
我還不知道怎麼告訴鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAKyUgd5J7e4
125Please respect copyright.PENANAhbSWl9rSiT
貘吃掉了我邏輯課的報告,厚厚一疊A4紙,被嚼得只剩下封面殘骸。125Please respect copyright.PENANAolTGzWFl67
我苦笑,無法責備牠。牠的眼睛藏在黑色短毛中,有可能真的在凝視我,或者用動物的本能順從牠的主人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUNcpzUO056
上課的時候,我被教授點名站起來,大家交頭接耳議論紛紛。宇智波佐助居然也會忘記寫報告。他們是這樣說的。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnkWHqIez8r
我不會回頭看那些看我的人,因為我知道他們都在看我。125Please respect copyright.PENANA7o78ijuWUv
唯獨鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAwt204eximk
他不在教室。125Please respect copyright.PENANAw5atVDRmOG
他去屋頂睡覺了,兩手背在後腦勺,舒舒服服地打鼾。125Please respect copyright.PENANAHloXxal0N8
125Please respect copyright.PENANAkq9f4CVVT0
鹿丸跟他提過一個英國詩人,Andrew Marvell,如此矯飾的詩,最後卻被鳴人拿來編成一首情歌。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4yZIsmMXLF
To His Coy Mistress,“致羞怯的情人”。125Please respect copyright.PENANAM0XpxuKKDt
鳴人並不是真的會彈吉他,他頂多學會刷弦。還是從我這裡學來的。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5ZFvgLXEyJ
“為什麼要編這首歌?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAEyVqzTzk5b
“想追女孩。”他說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAmWMTphgqb8
125Please respect copyright.PENANA4mJpBakPvV
於是我的喉嚨有了一坨吐也吐不出來的膿血。125Please respect copyright.PENANAo0gRxNuOza
他揹著吉他離開宿舍,嘴巴裡哼哼唱唱。我痛恨Andrew Marvell,我更痛恨他說的那句:“我的愛會隨時間變化慢慢成長,比帝國的成長更慢,領域更廣。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAXNrOaGg4aA
這些柔軟矯情的句子很快就被鳴人含在口腔裡,鑽進另個女孩的耳朵。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzK14nZTsG5
125Please respect copyright.PENANAp2fX6hVS02
至此我鄙視十七世紀的英詩文學。那些大多沒有營養,談情說愛。125Please respect copyright.PENANAewnPw0TwFW
125Please respect copyright.PENANA7QQMKbMXaX
我決定將我的貘稱呼為“大貘”。“大貘”本身就沒甚麼意涵。如同他對我…我指的是,如同鳴人對我。125Please respect copyright.PENANARfY3VI13A6
125Please respect copyright.PENANAG1zYEKRKTF
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● 125Please respect copyright.PENANA8AVtUAxmQd
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下初雪那天,背包裡的隨身手札被大貘咬出來,吃進肚子裡。125Please respect copyright.PENANA9uPJeq4rpV
當時我也許人在學校,也許在街道上任何一間咖啡館裡。鳴人和一個女孩手牽手從圖書館走出來,那女孩很漂亮,綠色眼睛,皮膚白皙,我知道她,她是系上最有人氣的女孩子。125Please respect copyright.PENANAGshq8Aqg19
他們在門口揮別彼此。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXQFrH7MIUG
鳴人的鼻子紅紅的,沒戴手套,他把手插入口袋中取暖。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXwVsaCA5KV
我走過去,踩過鋪上薄雪的道路,但是還沒和他搭上話之前,鳴人就轉身了。他的臉一下子沉靜下來,不動不笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANAk7irjP2Oty
我讓他踽踽地離開。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUX8C2VLw7e
125Please respect copyright.PENANAA25x0JQiQ6
手札沒寫甚麼重要的。只不過夾有兩張鳴人在中學時期傳給我的紙條,還有一張他的照片。125Please respect copyright.PENANA10Bv2krdsO
我默默地和大貘對望。牠漆黑的眼睛曝露了牠心懷不軌的動機。可是我沒說破,也不拆穿,我讓牠一口一口吃掉屬於我生活一部份的東西。125Please respect copyright.PENANADuDuqKn5YJ
125Please respect copyright.PENANAa9U0zpU8x5
在往後的日子裡,我無數次看見那女孩。她叫做春野櫻,個性開朗活潑,很有人緣。125Please respect copyright.PENANAwTo1xYJYuM
一日,我和鳴人在學生餐廳裡碰頭。125Please respect copyright.PENANAvDsxUM0fP0
“嗨,最近過得如何?”我拉開他身旁的椅子。125Please respect copyright.PENANATwKdZnB8Ko
他忽然面有難色。125Please respect copyright.PENANAcFXjqQnKQz
“怎麼了?”我問他。125Please respect copyright.PENANAOHUiVTh56P
鳴人抱歉地對我笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANADLOl0DJqgC
“不好意思,可不可以不要坐這裡?我女朋友等一下要來。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAayI207zl8n
125Please respect copyright.PENANAgUJ9GGnj6A
很久之後我才知道To His Coy Mistress已經被知名歌手改編過了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAKqJmPeGhZj
125Please respect copyright.PENANALaB3lha607
煽情。甜膩。旋律複雜得讓人厭煩。125Please respect copyright.PENANA1FtXCvsMPc
兩個禮拜後,我也交了一個女朋友,叫做香燐,脾氣火爆但一遇到我就會柔情似水,像個小女人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAAtQndxTsTU
交往三天,我們就上床。125Please respect copyright.PENANANlUV8IIcTv
她摘下眼鏡,脫掉衣服,敞開雙腿如同吃飯一樣自然。125Please respect copyright.PENANAWY96khqEcB
125Please respect copyright.PENANAk4HRq3onUI
完事之後,她拉上棉被蓋住自己的頭。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhlDiOZldNO
我看見大貘窩在房間角落,不聲不響。125Please respect copyright.PENANAd8SuDMhltZ
我抽一根菸,對牠說:“你有甚麼好不滿的。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAZrskn1XHhn
香燐轉過來,問,你在跟誰說話?125Please respect copyright.PENANApLNzh28u9r
我說,我在和我豢養的寵物說話。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnSp9zzMeGz
125Please respect copyright.PENANA9Fd7H8UTv4
她盯著我瞧,五分鐘過去,她俐落地穿上衣服,離開我的公寓。125Please respect copyright.PENANACXD8tNGvnt
125Please respect copyright.PENANAee372fXR1m
然後我們再也不碰面了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhL6ZkgEESm
125Please respect copyright.PENANAHqWEJD8PNL
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●125Please respect copyright.PENANAugQeZl8bkg
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125Please respect copyright.PENANAbQP1dEY6Bj
我和鳴人都認識鹿丸。他是個頭腦比誰都還清楚的人。125Please respect copyright.PENANA18Ex6oLxNc
125Please respect copyright.PENANAC50cb6ipC2
大三下學期的暑假,我們這群中學同學一起去山上露營。對我來說,此行的意義看起來並不那麼單純。鳴人身旁的人還是春野櫻,他們已經交往一個半月。125Please respect copyright.PENANAkGwFl0r83i
125Please respect copyright.PENANAQDixUjnVHK
出發前一天,我溫緩地揉著大貘的肚子,告訴牠:“我不在的這幾天,要好好照顧自己。”然後遞給牠一本珍藏的相冊。牠用呆滯的表情咬過去,散漫地咀嚼。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUpyqm8iGEJ
125Please respect copyright.PENANAUaughrZdE4
鳴人的笑臉在牠的口水中逐漸扭曲、溶解。125Please respect copyright.PENANAlXvti2JWrM
125Please respect copyright.PENANAGSydpeN0kv
露營的第一天晚上,他和她手牽手離開帳篷。有人看到了,曖昧地對大家笑,我也接收到別人的視線,嘗試一起微笑,可是辦不到。125Please respect copyright.PENANAx2uaS4GwaP
我掀開帳篷,跟著出去。125Please respect copyright.PENANAa4SvDfCNWu
他們在月光下接吻,雙舌交纏,四肢糾結在一起。125Please respect copyright.PENANAan76gjZbsq
末了,他推開她,說,抱歉,我們還是分手吧。125Please respect copyright.PENANATEQyxciRgw
125Please respect copyright.PENANAaA5C65FBWZ
她的手來到他平坦無瀾的胯下,用力一捏,虛弱地哼笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5jqKUTmKvr
“真沒用。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAH9kTDkrqLz
125Please respect copyright.PENANAYZt8RmLkY4
125Please respect copyright.PENANAoPr6NiGmSN
Andrew Marvell最終還是浮浮沉沉地落敗。125Please respect copyright.PENANAPvLVawChEh
他不需要負責任,那和他的情詩沒有關係。我在此時卻開始憐憫起Andrew Marvell,這個熱情澎湃、矯揉做作的詩人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEsNJTjuIxu
125Please respect copyright.PENANA7WAWYllGuI
大貘走到我身邊,將頭靠在我的膝蓋上。125Please respect copyright.PENANAFVMPEljxPC
我從地板揀起相冊的殘片,扔進垃圾桶裡。125Please respect copyright.PENANATO41kAukyV
125Please respect copyright.PENANAyFBAYNMF3A
“該怎麼辦才好?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAtRl95wGNnG
我摸著大貘。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXgRB4BRHsN
125Please respect copyright.PENANAxa3NzhZqrf
125Please respect copyright.PENANAINxvMibAoF
鳴人和春野櫻分手的理由,到現在還不明白。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5tQIFITE8p
他只不過沒有在適當的時候勃起,如此而已。他就要為了這件事和她分手嗎?125Please respect copyright.PENANAtLQHZfiuym
鹿丸彷彿看透一切,獨自在宿舍陽台上抽菸,往下望。我在他的房間裡用打字機敲出期末報告。最近大貘的胃口變大了,把牆上那幅鳴人給我的畫連著畫框吃掉。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtvE7aczwTu
125Please respect copyright.PENANASGWXhUidi4
“你想怎樣?”鹿丸突然撣落煙灰,問我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAAB09I6KS6Q
“甚麼怎麼樣。”我沒停手。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXtN5lEUYJP
“對鳴人…”他的聲音越來越小,到最後乾脆不講話。125Please respect copyright.PENANAcyhfXhS1Zx
我敲完報告,把紙撕下來,裝訂整齊。125Please respect copyright.PENANAor1KchdJOK
離開房間前,鹿丸把我拉住。“從中學時就開始了,不是嗎?”他睿智的雙眼盯著我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAfFntZnOFWJ
125Please respect copyright.PENANAxA8CZ4JgxI
面無血色的窗簾自他身後揚揚飛起。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUU47EQyW5z
我逃開了。125Please respect copyright.PENANARWzHAaxrSo
125Please respect copyright.PENANAOJAwsAAUEV
希區考克的電影,不是驚悚,而是在縝密之外闢出一條險路,讓你一腳踩入。125Please respect copyright.PENANASyzCNieLJ7
黑白畫面在電視裡兀自轉播,看到一半的時候,接收器毫無預警地壞了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAqSbDrMe3L3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAzkp3UjWvQ8
我和鳴人曾經如此要好。彼此都是心中最好的朋友和夥伴。125Please respect copyright.PENANAqD2XJAgeW3
有那麼幾次,莫名的預感告訴我,其實我們想的東西都相同。渴望更進一步、渴望撫摸。就在兩個人都還是中學生的時候,一個炎炎夏日,我握住他拿著冰棍的那隻手,輕輕吻上他。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIJ4oV0xdk3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAj9Ot8dVXiV
他卻沒有預料中的反應。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzsKZWwGyim
125Please respect copyright.PENANAei0HxLc6aR
冰棍掉到地面,迅速蒸發。125Please respect copyright.PENANAd29jPYx3EB
只留我一個人坐在公園的長椅上。125Please respect copyright.PENANAVMuCr8LL3D
125Please respect copyright.PENANA4uu3cx0n7T
《繩子》裡面的long-shot,就是從那之後的,我的雙眼。125Please respect copyright.PENANAX64Geb6mIg
125Please respect copyright.PENANA2PTnB2VxGf
125Please respect copyright.PENANA9x49R6CEfe
●125Please respect copyright.PENANApUZB2qWBPe
125Please respect copyright.PENANA53U5BsVqhr
125Please respect copyright.PENANAiTdzX7Q3VP
鳴人不斷地逃避我。用他一貫的微笑和友善。125Please respect copyright.PENANALyBLJInkZn
我們再次相聚四年,既快樂又悲傷。他過他的,我過我的,沒有誰起疑。除了奈良鹿丸。125Please respect copyright.PENANAeS6Q2Pc3MJ
大貘,你說我該怎麼辦?我該拿他怎麼辦?125Please respect copyright.PENANAi9KBTdTwrt
我看著我的寵物吃掉一台收音機、兩捲卡帶、三張德式蛋餅(原本要拿來做晚餐的)、四顆蒜頭。牠滿足了自己的肚腹,舔舔鼻子,黑色眼睛斜過來看我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAdjpy5WmLYn
你還想吃掉甚麼?125Please respect copyright.PENANApEh8meHHzF
我搔搔牠的下巴,牠發出連續的呼嚕聲。125Please respect copyright.PENANApxMuYKC3z1
125Please respect copyright.PENANAWkZYniewgc
鳴人被退學了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAOv8iLQeuOj
是在意料之中的預料之外。125Please respect copyright.PENANAdXUuAgU8Y2
這件事我從別人的口裡聽說,卻格外真實。125Please respect copyright.PENANAttmoy1MLpv
125Please respect copyright.PENANAD4PdO4hJhl
我敲敲他寢室的門。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnbSTwNOk5Y
125Please respect copyright.PENANAv20qrUXKmH
“怎麼了?”他打開門,問我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAg4bv1ryhTD
“…皮夾沒了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAabNwtY3awn
“怎麼會沒了?”125Please respect copyright.PENANA4TbMwoRhsN
“被我豢養的寵物吃掉了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAJoqZ0lqpXR
他古怪地笑,然後讓我進去。125Please respect copyright.PENANAHyys3vuHjg
鳴人是個隨性的男孩子,房間有些凌亂,比上次我看到的還要亂一些。125Please respect copyright.PENANAyBJlUm7NK9
“吃晚餐了沒?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAgpqw6iSJm4
“吃過了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAmPldAjHBIw
“…喝點運動飲料吧,我看你流很多汗。”鳴人從床底下的箱子摸出一個鋁箔包,遞給我。“明天期末考對吧。”125Please respect copyright.PENANABPw2yBc0HO
“對。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAabPL2rpJj3
“這麼有把握拿滿分啊?”他笑。“還有空來我這裡瞎混。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAceAsfDymom
鳴人戴上耳機,坐在書桌前,閱讀一本原文書。125Please respect copyright.PENANALQghbfQkyN
我在他的床上沉穩入眠。125Please respect copyright.PENANAJvSOWabOhF
半夜時我醒過來,鳴人不在寢內。我走到陽台上,往下方看,他一個人站在花圃中,抱著吉他,嘴裡哼著歌。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5Puei3UjRG
125Please respect copyright.PENANAMGmpQh1Ziq
“只要我們有足夠的空間和時間,這份羞怯,吾愛,就不算罪過…”125Please respect copyright.PENANABEQWtBemIo
125Please respect copyright.PENANAOLm9fCl9VO
是To His Coy Mistress。125Please respect copyright.PENANAv59LwBr5WB
我站在陽台,站一整夜。和他一起。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8y7Rg4K3rq
我們都沒有參加期末考試。125Please respect copyright.PENANAR58Zuk1SKN
125Please respect copyright.PENANAgcUGLtAPyi
大貘,你會明白嗎?125Please respect copyright.PENANAzzvFvGbA5f
當你用空洞的眼睛看著我的時候,是不是有讀出我想說的任何訊息。125Please respect copyright.PENANAqQA8EYRTW3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAGOHVmg2Ta2
後天早上,同學們睜大眼睛,看著我走進教室裡。教授也走進來,一個禿頭佬,輕輕咳嗽,瞥我一眼。他沉重的目光透過又厚又大的鏡片傳過來。125Please respect copyright.PENANA99ypRAe4l7
我聳聳肩。125Please respect copyright.PENANACANwhOVJfZ
他搖搖頭。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXj7DsDhhep
我知道,我丟了進他研究室的資格。125Please respect copyright.PENANAz39MgjLv8P
那也無所謂,畢竟我的畢業報告已經被大貘給吃了。牠津津有味地嗑掉膠裝封面,接著打個飽嗝。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzAPjI99Mep
“味道不錯吧,這份報告我可是寫了半年…”125Please respect copyright.PENANA6E1woz1qmP
我說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEksBoyyxkn
牠又用飽嗝來表示滿足。125Please respect copyright.PENANAR5YCoVG5gu
125Please respect copyright.PENANA1kc6URfGZA
鳴人很快就離開學生宿舍。他找到一間雅房,雨天的時候,外面下大雨,裡面下小雨。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtVjHzQdF3Y
他的朋友都去替他慶祝。七八個人擠在小小的房間裡,大肆喝酒聊天。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhfiGHf35py
我沒去,可是我知道那晚發生的事情。是鹿丸告訴我的。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEPVl4nhosr
他說,鳴人喝得很茫,誰都不認得。125Please respect copyright.PENANAILY4OqD0n4
他說,鳴人喝茫了之後抓了人就亂親。125Please respect copyright.PENANAw58qU9RKzJ
他說,鳴人就在拉扯和親吻之間吐出一個人的名字。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbQyC5yfo2Y
125Please respect copyright.PENANAEtCkkSmy8J
“佐助…佐助…其實我…”125Please respect copyright.PENANABSuxvwa3y3
125Please respect copyright.PENANA3QDzO8pVvx
125Please respect copyright.PENANApxcDdWuP3G
我說,鹿丸,夠了,我不想聽。125Please respect copyright.PENANAWBB4MeTwn9
125Please respect copyright.PENANAO1crf9IJJA
沒有人懂我和他到底想要甚麼。125Please respect copyright.PENANAf3QdGygDnK
因為我們也不懂自己。125Please respect copyright.PENANAEU5WeZkM17
被退學之後,他不再上大學,每天都在打零工。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbbhK4CtYIv
有人在洗衣店看過他,有人在咖啡廳看過他,甚至是深夜的加油站裡,也能看見他在椅子上打盹。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8iUYPQXHdX
我猜想,他應該不再彈吉他了。125Please respect copyright.PENANA3KabDFZxFo
125Please respect copyright.PENANAxJuufKtjlb
而我呢?125Please respect copyright.PENANAwuK00lFEpq
我仍然和大貘一起生活,並且在畢業前夕交了一名新的女友。125Please respect copyright.PENANA7JXvl4M4mr
她叫做春野櫻。125Please respect copyright.PENANAfpYmdSKiDS
她周旋在我和漩渦鳴人之間,以快速又難以捉摸的姿態做一隻候鳥。125Please respect copyright.PENANARxsTZJJp0D
我並不喜歡她,可是她也不介意我是不是愛她。125Please respect copyright.PENANAOe5XsYBtw3
125Please respect copyright.PENANAQH2YrSMgCl
“各取所需…你最了解的吧?”125Please respect copyright.PENANA6R8ngumDum
她撢去菸灰,笑了笑。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhb1qdgqGFc
我把褲子穿上,走出房間,倒一杯水給自己。125Please respect copyright.PENANAmo2pRGJrHw
她佔據大貘的床,毫不介意地睡著。125Please respect copyright.PENANArekPr9lair
大貘蜷縮在房子角落。我心疼地摸摸牠的頭,給牠吃一箱衣服。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIblsOyG06x
125Please respect copyright.PENANAIiqV7334V8
我聽說春野櫻偶爾會去找鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbgB60QMzWs
也聽說鳴人和另一個女人在一起。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbwDz6tKyyC
可是沒有人敢肯定地說,因為鳴人已經很久不出現在朋友面前了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAmryjgL5RTL
他繼續過他的,我繼續過我的。我重新做回一名好學生,人人稱羨的高材生。在課堂上是睿智的、成熟的宇智波佐助,下課後,回到家裡,卻豢養一隻有可能根本不存在的貘獸。125Please respect copyright.PENANAJ3m30rMetB
只有奈良鹿丸一個人看透我的軟弱。125Please respect copyright.PENANAw4RDsXFyxk
他看我的眼神,彷彿在嘲笑我的無能和膽小。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8Lma7Y3lGr
125Please respect copyright.PENANA5b7MIm8NhW
大貘,我哪裡做錯了?125Please respect copyright.PENANA026XQwBaII
125Please respect copyright.PENANANN1nLiXxKE
時間會慢慢過去,而我們會遺忘。125Please respect copyright.PENANAtCeEeikJpd
就像夏天裡逐漸蒸發的冰棒,一點一點消失在空氣裡。我說,奈良鹿丸,你一點都不懂我們。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnCRrZtBT63
他說,你才是一點都不懂鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAh9d0UHzkpq
錯了,其實我們都不懂Andrew Marvell,才不能意會他的情詩。畢竟他說:“只要我們有足夠的空間和時間,這份羞怯,吾愛,就不算罪過…”125Please respect copyright.PENANAWgvFLt6E4q
125Please respect copyright.PENANAToObxQxLHo
三年後,我成為碩士生,和春野櫻訂婚。125Please respect copyright.PENANAXCl0QuRnPE
她保有她的生活,保有她對其他男人接觸的權力,我向來不干涉這一切。125Please respect copyright.PENANA827cysTNVk
125Please respect copyright.PENANAwtMoNAoNF0
我的貘懶懶地抬頭看我一眼,然後繼續沉睡。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIS25DIXBI7
牠在這幾年越來越瘦,肋骨都清晰可見。125Please respect copyright.PENANAWHew1iR8t0
離開大學後,我和春野櫻搬到另一個繁榮的城市,並在那裡舉行婚禮。婚禮前夕,我搭了特快車回到故居,背包裡有一張要給鳴人的婚宴邀請卡。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIkTFbG72Lh
其實我本來不打算這麼做的,我把這張卡片湊到大貘面前,可是牠僅僅抽動鼻子,嗅了嗅,一點都不感興趣地撇過頭。125Please respect copyright.PENANARktp9htvOg
這也許是甚麼徵兆。125Please respect copyright.PENANAofWwJSiBwq
125Please respect copyright.PENANAyTMtKUAB07
我走入鳴人原本該住著的公寓。經過這麼多年,他有可能已經不住在這裡。我嘗試敲門,可是狹窄的樓梯間裡除了回音之外,沒有任何動靜。125Please respect copyright.PENANATgsAGUAt9x
十分鐘過去,半小時過去,我拿出邀請卡,想把它塞進門縫裡了事。125Please respect copyright.PENANABUE11RFJ92
可是我聽見腳步聲,一步一步傳上來。125Please respect copyright.PENANAGsfMrXLodJ
我回頭,順間掉進湛藍的海底。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnljJrBlGQO
125Please respect copyright.PENANA5SOZYXnqDU
鳴人就在我後面,他麥色的肌膚,耀眼的頭髮,澄澈的眼神。125Please respect copyright.PENANADg7O4rdfj4
125Please respect copyright.PENANA4RQIKwHFbH
我甚麼都沒辦法開口說。125Please respect copyright.PENANA0oWrOOgUVv
他也張大嘴巴,愣愣地看著我。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4UeglFIs2T
125Please respect copyright.PENANA3KLpvczsq5
“你…”125Please respect copyright.PENANA3lzKwWGZvq
我想要問他,這幾年過得好不好。125Please respect copyright.PENANAyNbELm9gEH
就在我即將吐出一串破碎的句子之前,一個人影出現在樓梯,他慢慢走上來,站到鳴人身邊。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUQ9Q8oIBTx
“怎麼了,不是說要回來拿東西?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAK9U6y2MWYq
那男人,一手搭在鳴人的肩上。125Please respect copyright.PENANAbM3IIFwUav
他露出虛偽的笑容,眼睛轉向我。“這位是…?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAE3xUUf6eNy
沒等鳴人解釋,我就自己開口:“我是漩渦的大學同學,今天來拿邀請卡給他的。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAG3cDfUXMxz
“…邀請卡?”鳴人喃喃地唸。125Please respect copyright.PENANA7XAwHWwNol
“我要結婚了。”我說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAi1AtH4Qw26
我相信我的嘴唇在顫抖。125Please respect copyright.PENANAj7N9KqDFnn
鳴人的表情僵了一下,卻很快地恢復,並對我說:“恭喜。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAa0a4Wa3o16
125Please respect copyright.PENANAKHTiJYcKrW
我冷冷地抽了嘴角,瞥那男人一眼,再看看他,說,你也是。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4xaaaaani5
然後頭也不回地走了。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8mrd15wOE6
125Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZuGcBJXJ2
我甚至忘記邀請卡還捏在手裡。125Please respect copyright.PENANAKbQhu9MP5K
125Please respect copyright.PENANAjib3MuxylV
大貘,直到現在我才明白我還愛他。我最喜歡的是他燦爛的笑臉,一副無所謂卻常常不甘心的臉,還有在草地上跑起來的模樣,兩隻手敞開,讓風吹過每一吋毛細孔。中學時,他常常和我分享同一塊麵包,同一個便當,同一把傘,甚至同一張床。現在我訝異我居然和他蓋過同一條被子而可以甚麼事都不發生。125Please respect copyright.PENANAG4B4SptsZz
我想要他,不管是五年,十年,二十年,我仍然想要他。漩渦鳴人是一塊疙瘩,長在心上,長在我去也去不掉的地方。可是我卻抗拒一切發生,讓事情走到像現在這樣的局面。125Please respect copyright.PENANAfgZlbNCH3s
做甚麼也挽救不了。125Please respect copyright.PENANA8SjVY6BnGt
125Please respect copyright.PENANAe5Wpce5h8Y
我開著車,到市中心最繁華的地方,進去一間酒吧。125Please respect copyright.PENANAvS4VwSGhdC
以前大學朋友常常來這裡聚著聊天,現在一點影子都不剩了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAH88gqt8o9M
昏黃的燈光,香菸的氣味繚繞整個地下室,低聲笑語恍如隔世,我的耳中只有冰塊在酒杯裡碰撞的聲音。125Please respect copyright.PENANABDFKaXfl0S
125Please respect copyright.PENANA0DClc83Efp
我沒有把自己灌醉。明天我將是一名新郎。125Please respect copyright.PENANA2T71wYh1q8
有人踩著皮鞋,走到我身邊,向酒保要一杯烈酒。125Please respect copyright.PENANAfblnpueZzC
男人一口氣把酒喝完,發出嘖嘖聲。我忍不住轉過頭去看他。125Please respect copyright.PENANAYBL86aRbNL
那是一名纖瘦的少年,有著黑色的瞳孔和黑色的頭髮。125Please respect copyright.PENANAxo7prwFDKO
長得居然跟我很像。125Please respect copyright.PENANAaA2r4u3f70
125Please respect copyright.PENANAKRiqEVCV28
“你好。”他拘謹地說。125Please respect copyright.PENANACCe2i4haUw
我挑挑眉。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4tg4OeTPD7
“一個人嗎?”他問。125Please respect copyright.PENANA4ZJAkfp8ih
我把頭撇過去,沒理他。125Please respect copyright.PENANACEAlrsBKKw
少年自討無趣,又點了一杯酒。125Please respect copyright.PENANAjEokMjKc4H
“…看你落寞的樣子,大概是失戀了吧。”他說。“啊,也許你不需要安慰吧。你要結婚了嗎?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAQFljZakiy3
我有些意外,卻想起我就把揉爛的卡片放在桌上。125Please respect copyright.PENANA7JE8YWjovH
“你喜歡你的新娘嗎?”他問。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5BgGnMQrHU
少年非常多話。我悶頭喝我的酒,沒回答。125Please respect copyright.PENANA6oOVPakbWH
“…大概是不喜歡吧。”他聳聳肩。“我知道你不喜歡。”125Please respect copyright.PENANArSfQF0voeq
我看他一眼,說:“你又懂甚麼了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANABfFvXdy4zB
“當然懂,”他微笑。“我知道你愛別的人。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAUzvGZ9dGlJ
我冷冷地笑,說,現在已經不愛了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAy5aSoCEsJ0
“不是這樣,我看得出來。”少年用黑色的眼睛盯住我。“你一直愛他。”125Please respect copyright.PENANALrZYHMHd6b
說完,他又自顧自地咂嘴。“可是既然你說你不愛,那就是不愛吧。”125Please respect copyright.PENANADOZJ9Ng4nh
我沒理會他話裡的自相矛盾。125Please respect copyright.PENANA2aNTQX4OXV
“愛就愛,不愛就不愛,沒甚麼大不了的。”他說。“可是你這種樣子,肯定只是鴕鳥心態。”125Please respect copyright.PENANALd7f13l8yl
我狠狠地把杯裡的酒飲盡。125Please respect copyright.PENANAP9C4CEVa3k
少年咯咯笑,從口袋裡掏出幾張紙鈔和一些叮叮咚咚的東西。125Please respect copyright.PENANAPIOiYO8tR0
他把東西都推到酒保面前,我聽見酒保不悅地說:“這甚麼?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAo3nhar4JFb
我斜眼瞄他放到桌上的那堆東西,忽然看見一張已經扯破、撕爛的學生證。125Please respect copyright.PENANAMMkVSi6L0P
上面那個人是我。125Please respect copyright.PENANAQqqHuSIGN9
糊掉的學生姓名旁邊,有一行藍筆筆跡寫著:佐助大笨蛋。125Please respect copyright.PENANAPA9hmdnAH9
我倏然站起,看到寫了我的名字的會員卡、兩張鳴人傳給我的紙條、只剩半顆頭的鳴人照片…125Please respect copyright.PENANAfXK1bv77xw
少年漆黑的眼睛把我吸進去。125Please respect copyright.PENANApTFF8nDQyb
“還來得及,”他說。“只要你不畏懼。”125Please respect copyright.PENANA7WkrBUCF3q
125Please respect copyright.PENANA1utPKSRkM5
我連帳都沒付就衝出酒吧。125Please respect copyright.PENANAynF4lnQIQ6
125Please respect copyright.PENANAXO0PUfhMbx
街道上的行人變成一抹一抹的色彩,天已經黑了,我鑽入車子裡,引擎的聲音瞬間重擊我的心臟。我想到那些被大貘吞進肚子裡的東西,我想到牠總是一言不發地盯著我,我想到牠安靜地聆聽我說種種關於鳴人的事…可是牠卻不曾告訴我牠的想法。車子在夜色下拐了彎,駛到鳴人的公寓前。它似乎以一種莊嚴卻悲傷的姿態等待,也許公寓裡面有人,也許沒有,我踏踏雜雜地衝上樓梯,站在鐵門前,用力敲著門。125Please respect copyright.PENANAHIrLHSIzko
鐵門有打開的跡象。我緊張地探頭,燦黃的金髮跳入視線。125Please respect copyright.PENANA6Vr9aI9ZeT
125Please respect copyright.PENANAMc8rDKP091
鳴人穿著寬鬆輕便的衣服,愣在門口。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzFb6oh6p9u
我還在喘氣,眼睛沒敢離開他一秒鐘。125Please respect copyright.PENANAllXrPAYE30
125Please respect copyright.PENANAacWSemBxcl
“你…你怎麼會…”125Please respect copyright.PENANA4iIIQIJq8p
“鳴人。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAYOoPcRiB0k
我叫他。125Please respect copyright.PENANAv3eLmj8Ei2
他像聽見甚麼不可思議的聲音,身體抖了一下。125Please respect copyright.PENANAxoqcnMaCZn
“…鳴人。”125Please respect copyright.PENANA2FHmyDy5C9
我徑直拉開門,一手握住他的手腕。125Please respect copyright.PENANAzG7ouI5DlG
他往後退幾步,掛上複雜的表情,用力著想要掙脫。125Please respect copyright.PENANAo3nfELVF52
“你、你這麼晚還不回去,是要給我送婚宴的邀請卡嗎?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAjyUQ0Moeup
他問。他硬是扯出笑臉,這樣的笑臉很難看,我只在中學時看過一次,就是在他被喜歡的女孩子給甩了的時候。125Please respect copyright.PENANAffZKLZHSn8
我逼近他,兩隻手牽制住他的肩膀,他虛弱地笑,嘗試扭動身體,但是在他看見我認真的眼神之後,他的笑臉逐漸變成慌亂的表情。125Please respect copyright.PENANArCPwwYEmag
“你別跟我開玩笑,”他說。“拜託,快離開這裡。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAsfjpM76NIA
“為什麼?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAmDKqPmHYiE
“沒有為什麼!”125Please respect copyright.PENANAwgr3BdVC7J
“你還討厭我嗎?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAUrPrw4pEFW
“我沒有討厭過你…”125Please respect copyright.PENANAyxjbHCXWM9
“那我們…”125Please respect copyright.PENANAKoI0qryX2j
“你走開好嗎?”鳴人說。他的聲音已經快要失控。“你幹嘛現在出現?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAjDtcxa0uFi
“因為我明天要結婚了。”我清晰地說。“可是我喜歡你。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAbIYoPhlWfg
他噤聲。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhcMEUrpV0S
我們都安靜下來。125Please respect copyright.PENANAuwq0QbZnsh
我把臉湊過去,感覺到他炙熱急促的呼吸。125Please respect copyright.PENANAJL50Aoiy0E
“對不起。”我說。“我是真的喜歡你。”125Please respect copyright.PENANACnm7cOUvbP
125Please respect copyright.PENANAohI7v8RULa
我抱住他,緩緩地,把他的頭放到我肩膀上。我從來沒有那麼多話過,可是就在今夜,我們站在玄關,我跟他說我一點都不愛春野櫻,說我從中學時就一直深愛他,說我不敢繼續接近他的原因是我是個膽小鬼,沒辦法承受第二次失敗,我還說我只想要他一個人,我只想要漩渦鳴人。125Please respect copyright.PENANAIZ9RGYpfc7
他默默地聽著,偶爾笑出聲,他忍著不讓淚水流出來,我也是,我們都很倔強,我們都在等時間去沖淡,可是有很多事情,時間只會把它繼續推移,繼續前進。125Please respect copyright.PENANAT2nK1a4L5T
125Please respect copyright.PENANAzVs2QjsoYr
“婚禮怎麼辦?”125Please respect copyright.PENANA0GQJGa041k
他問。125Please respect copyright.PENANAhSClUYwX48
“取消吧。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAenGEJwBL9p
我說。125Please respect copyright.PENANA139LmcCAQu
125Please respect copyright.PENANAUMmvGy9Dxw
隔天早上,我接到春野櫻的電話。她冷靜地說她早就取消婚禮了,甚至有一半以上的婚宴邀請卡都沒有寄出去。125Please respect copyright.PENANA5TGgmKEhy5
她說話的口氣十分平淡,沒有怨恨也沒有沮喪。125Please respect copyright.PENANAxkAGttLala
“我懂你。”她說。聲音有一絲絲笑意。125Please respect copyright.PENANAgJzvwaEueP
125Please respect copyright.PENANAKFOr0i8Zl2
然後鹿丸也打給鳴人了。125Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7u2uilVKI
鳴人坐在沙發上,支支吾吾地應聲。我走過去,站在他身旁,他看了我一眼後迅速地掛掉電話。125Please respect copyright.PENANAkVqKMAEHNk
“怎麼了。”我問。125Please respect copyright.PENANAAyDM50qc4E
他低聲囁嚅,我沒聽清楚。125Please respect copyright.PENANAnqJXp8kFsw
“鹿丸說…別被你給騙了。”他說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAanvUNxfYPt
“…上次那個男的,是誰?”我問。125Please respect copyright.PENANAGk82BbIXcX
“那個啊,”,鳴人似乎在竊笑。“只是一起打工的朋友而已,他想開我玩笑才那樣說話的。”125Please respect copyright.PENANADeTtIMVnIo
125Please respect copyright.PENANAtaoJNDuUgT
我們搭了車到現在我住的城市。春野櫻已經打包好行李,準備搬離我和她同居的地方。125Please respect copyright.PENANARTRbnWasuf
“祝妳好運。”我對她說。125Please respect copyright.PENANAolf8DwqWDT
她笑,然後把鑰匙還給我。“這東西終於要交給正確的主人了。”125Please respect copyright.PENANA0pL2cmwg82
春野櫻把行李送到樓下,在門口處向我們道別。125Please respect copyright.PENANADUPLP4fgwt
“啊,”她在臨走前忽然靠近我,附到我耳邊說:“其實…我看得見那個。”125Please respect copyright.PENANAIlcECU64YL
125Please respect copyright.PENANAoh5W6ehAzc
我像被電擊一般跳起來。125Please respect copyright.PENANAFStIC0xBko
125Please respect copyright.PENANA7UOl5C9dyY
春野櫻露出神秘的微笑,揮揮手,走入電梯。125Please respect copyright.PENANAUkDdzdqckh
125Please respect copyright.PENANAHWVJtx4dsO
125Please respect copyright.PENANASzq8IU2jx8
“對了,”鳴人把頭轉向我。“佐助,你不是說你養過寵物?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAdylypJaF8D
我笑了笑,把門關上,一手搭上他的肩。“你好奇?”125Please respect copyright.PENANAeqRCernklM
“當然。”125Please respect copyright.PENANASz3Tbcro48
125Please respect copyright.PENANAqP988EY84H
“那我會慢慢告訴你…”125Please respect copyright.PENANA2RiOqANAlX
125Please respect copyright.PENANAiXFJvj6sUF
125Please respect copyright.PENANABl08B3alYq
兩個男孩,一隻貘,還有像春夢一般的故事。125Please respect copyright.PENANACntSUFty76
125Please respect copyright.PENANA7euOfwbPdw
125Please respect copyright.PENANAQftz64OWfT
FIN