I was at my prayers the next day when Abbán rode in towards evening. Shouts rose from the courtyard and I strode towards the window facing the scene below. The young man toppled off his horse into Éibhear's waiting arms. His head fell back. I squinted and saw he was foaming at the mouth.
Gathering my black skirts, I trotted around the circular staircase. Standing at the door leading to the hallway, I paused. Frenzied footsteps and roaring male voices, Argath shouting for water and blankets. I peeked around the corner. Abbán was convulsing in his cousin's arms as he brought him into the room.
“...something to keep him from biting his tongue...” Éibhear murmured to Argath as they cut into the room.
The Sacred Disease, the sleeping sickness that caused men to seize and lose touch with the world. I had heard of it but had never seen it in person. The priest at Highfire told me a person under such a spell could touch the divine. Curiosity drove me forward.
I walked towards the room and found the door ajar. Sure enough, Abbán's body jerked on the bed. Argath and Éibhear held him down and put a wooden rod between his teeth. His milk blue eyes rolled into the back of his head and his breaths were harsh, rapid. It only lasted minutes before he fell still, his chest rising and falling in even waves.
“That one was worse than the last. We have been driving him too hard.” Éibhear ran his hand over his beard.
Argath perched a fist on the bed post and hung his head. “I know. Let him rest for the next day.”
“He is blessed with the Sacred Disease,” I blurted out, striding into the room. “Tell me, has he experienced visions in his condition?”
The men looked over in wide eyed surprise at my presence. Argath furrowed his brow and dipped a cloth into the bowl of water by the bed. He dabbed Abbán's forehead. “So much talk of curses from you, it astounds me you do not see one when it is in front of you.”
“But these spells, he can commune with the gods-” I insisted.
“Your gods maybe. But not ours,” Argath argued back.
I scoffed. "Remember, squire. You are only half Tormod. Your father worshiped the same gods as me.”
“What my cousin is trying to say is that Abbán's condition can be dangerous.” Éibhear held out a hand, quelling our argument. “What if such a thing happened to him on the road? While he was alone?”
Abbán stirred, his eyes flickering open. He reached up and snatched at Argath's hand. “There is news from Primiad. I rode as fast as I could-”
“And nearly killed yourself,” Éibhear interrupted.
“Never mind that. The Queen regent is dead.”
Éibhear smirked. “How does that change anything?”
“She was murdered. They are making it look like plague but everyone at court knows it was the Vittamars. Now the boy king's uncle is his care taker.” Abbán huffed. Argath lifted him up to help him taking a drink from a cup.
My heart sped up. I knew very little of court politics but from the whispers about them, I knew the Vittamars were ruthless. They were Ervig's family, the ones who put him on the throne and now were determined to keep in power. If they could murder the mother of the crown prince, there was no telling what they could do to a nameless threat like myself. The blood drained from my face and my hand went to my womb. Argath noticed and nodded towards Éibhear.
“Take the lady down to the great hall and get her something to eat. Have you had anything for food today?” He demanded to know.
I shook my head. “I was praying and fasting for guidance-”
Argath groaned and he punched a fist into the pile of furs on the bed. “You are not so stupid as to starve yourself while you are with child. Put aside your fanaticism! There is no time for it, not now.”
I couldn't recall the last time I had been spoken to in such a harsh tone, especially by someone below me. Before I could conjure a reply out of my shock, Éibhear was at my side. Gently, he took my elbow and led me out of the room. “Come, my lady. There is a pottage of venison with some fresh bread.”
My knees wobbled slightly as we walked towards the great hall. I was thankful for his hand at my side.
“I am not stupid,” I insisted lamely, more to myself than my escort.
“He didn't mean that, my lady. He was just concerned.”
“Yes, he did. He's hateful.”
“He has concern for you.”
Éibhear led me over to a chair by the fire and placed a fur over my legs against the cold. “I will be back in a moment with your food. You rest here.”
I waved a hand to dismiss him but he was already gone. Blinking into the flames, I jolted as the babe kicked inside me. Thinking back on all the choices I had made, I wondered if there was ever a moment I could have avoided this path. I was taking my own life in my hands by trying to make my son king. The men around me conducted most of the plotting. They were responsible for any move I had made in the past month. I was as powerless as I had been as Sidimund's child bride.
Inexplicably, tears formed and rolled down my cheeks. A result of pregnancy no doubt, my emotions were all at sea most days. I covered my mouth to hold back a sob. I sensed Éibhear as he came up behind me. A bowl of pottage was placed on my lap, a crust of bread hooked on the side. I blinked up and found Argath, his mouth pulled tight and eyes strangely calm.
“Thank you,” I gulped out, wiping my tears with the back of my hand.
He moved towards the chair before me and sank into it, perching his thick fingers into a steeple as he studied me. “I apologize for being harsh.”
I shook my head and swallowed a bite of bread. “No. Though it pains me to admit it, you were right. I shouldn't have fasted.”
“I know your faith is what sustains you, has sustained you through hard times.” He leaned forward, capturing my gaze. His eyes saw right through me. “But you must learn to rely on yourself for now. Only you can see your son onto the throne, not any goddess or spirit.”
I gaped at him. What he said felt like blasphemy. “I cannot leave Dylene behind. She is my source of strength.”
“You are your own source of strength. I have seen it time and again.” He shook his head with a chuckle. “You astound me, Hania.”
A man hadn't spoken my name so intimately since Brisam had died. I shivered and looked away. Though he sat on the opposite side of the hearth, he felt too close. “Where is Éibhear?”
He must have sensed my hesitation. Pulling back, he turned his direct gaze to the fire. “I sent him to Highfire. He is bringing word to your husband's mistress, your daughter and the midwife. They should be here within the next couple weeks. You will both finish out your confinement here at Gegar Red. Abbán brought word from Theodric at Primiad requesting it. You will all be safer here.”
I jutted out my jaw in thought. With an army of bear men, he was certainly correct in that presumption. Estra would have her baby around the same time as me. “Tell me. Since you knew the child I carry is a son with your...Changing gift. My husband's mistress, do you know if she is carrying the same?”
Argath arched an eyebrow at me. “You tell me if you think she is.”
Two bear kings on a field of battle. I trembled. “Yes. I believe she is.”
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