我老婆是黃月英──諸葛亮的秘密日記。
作者:
南翁
南翁
篇 #21
第二集：遊龍戲鳳。第五章：動彈不得的我和野蠻的山老大女友。（１）
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當我再次睜開眼睛，只看見一片木板。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTannUumigD
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我裸著上身，躺在一張床上。雖然是從暈倒中醒過來，口乾舌燥、還有點意識不清楚，但我的腦袋還有搞清處狀況的能力。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjns35BYEk
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我轉頭往左旁邊一看，空蕩蕩的房間，是我沒有看過的地方。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJkbM0ENsh
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不意外旁邊一個人都沒有，黃月英本來就不是那種會照顧我到在床邊睡著的類型。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05rdnHEOyv
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這種不意外，雖然是不意外，但意外地有一股淡淡的空虛。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2Vo4BP3Uj
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也罷。我試著坐起身，這時卻發現自己右邊的上半身完全沒有知覺，大概是因為傷勢……45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Umb0mn2BK
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等等。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmo2wGCbyu
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雖然我右邊肩膀也有傷，但我記得傷得比較重的是左肩膀啊。我看了下左邊肩膀的繃帶，還有隱隱作痛的感覺，證明我沒有記錯。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSopdkvB19
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我轉向右邊。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd78Xp8ADUD
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「你醒了啊。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEnKYFkgSD
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我虛弱的魂魄嚇到差點升天。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEMJKhA1Cjb
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我：「我說妳，一大清早的不要這樣嚇人啊。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF7uJ1qbwaY
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黃月英：「現在好像是晚上了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD00CAdtGpU
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我這才注意到身邊是灰暗一片。原來我已經睡這麼久了。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIA4GWdcEII
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黃月英躺在我的右手上──大概就是我的右半身失去失去知覺的原因──伸了個懶腰，一臉剛睡醒的樣子，說：「可惡，腰酸背痛的。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytdZLJBErX
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喂、喂，這裡還有個重傷患，可不可以先顧慮一下我的身體？妳這樣直接拿傷患的右手臂當成枕頭是怎麼回事？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtWzOuJzBW
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算了，跟她討論這些簡直就是對牛彈琴，我單純的說：「我的右手麻掉了，妳可不可以起來一下？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFyPNPjnOdi
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黃月英輕呼了聲，彈起身：「抱歉，實在太累，不小心就睡著了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQA8jFKd4zN
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原來妳還知道要不好意思啊，真是偉大的發現。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mXNQxZpCG
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黃月英：「你那是什麼表情啊，還不是為了照顧你才這樣睡著的，你一下血流不止一下又發燒一下又狂流汗，沒看過這麼難照顧的人。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyRnSpyZaz
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謝謝妳。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs2QPm3iJGK
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真的。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgHvL70GrT
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但我只是說：「妳確定不是想趁機偷吃我豆腐，然後不小心睡著了？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBxlThYber
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黃月英避開我的眼神：「你想太多了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1svQ88xAK
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我笑了下。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH49l0zmhSG
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空虛的感覺一掃而空。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXsPIniGRE
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黃月英越過我，下了床，說：「看你還這麼有精神，應該是沒事了。不過你還是先不要亂動，乖乖躺著，不然傷口裂開就不好了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQVffEhHtBE
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我：「先拿一點水來吧。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3dxvR6hhR
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黃月英：「我正要拿呢。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cL2riCK3a
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黃月英說要拿，卻是對著外頭突然一喊：「喂！給我拿點水進來。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHzBVh92VQ
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我：「妳是在對誰……」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5glBe4YU6h
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「是！老大，已經準備好了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkFLrbvHKH
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啊？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInjdpgjELa
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老大？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXcbzSvfbi
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兩名男子這時開門走進來，一人端著水盆、一人提著水壺，恭恭敬敬地拿到黃月英面前。這兩名男子一臉兇惡，臉上各自帶有刀疤，穿著獸皮背心、短皮褲，毛髮濃密、尤其胸前的胸毛多得有點嚇人，看起來像是一輩子活在山裡的野人。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpJUd6xiJc
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黃月英卻是理所當然地使喚那兩人：「放著就行了。叫大夫去把藥煮好，對了，叫廚房的人煮一些粥，跟藥一起端過來。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVihJIduUl
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兩名男子異口同聲：「是！」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFxqePilmjx
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「把門關上。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfGMQZl6p5
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「是！」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSxUV2KmSET
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黃月英回頭。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTcDC6kQwWs
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我的表情一定很奇怪。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7uansHfoP
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黃月英：「怎麼了？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYwGTkF9UfT
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怎麼了？她問我怎麼了？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7vV7QH6j4
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我：「那是怎麼回事？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2bvUcV6m2I
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黃月英：「喔，這個說來話長。就是不知不覺間變成一群山賊的老大。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAKl8wyJ8On
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山老大啊！果然是山老大！我從一開始就預言她絕對是個當山老大的料！45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7ht8iYIKRx
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我：「稍微解釋一下吧。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaW6gqpiEpc
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黃月英拿著水壺硬是灌了我一口、用毛巾沾水給我擦了擦臉，然後才說：「你還是先休息吧。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rx3n489fG
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最好是還休息的下去。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfaAeKAh6m
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我：「就當給我講床邊故事吧。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugK8jkiG53
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黃月英：「這麼愛撒嬌，真可愛呢。『柔柔弱弱的，一定很溫柔』，難怪『有人』這麼喜歡你。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLkceH59qtS
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故意不說就是要用這個戲謔我對不對？是不是？一定是這樣！45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiX4f6iGCmy
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黃月英坐到床邊：「好啦，不開玩笑了，你不要生氣，生氣的話傷口會更難癒合的。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjAmjSwlqhs
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我沒有應聲。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQrEJWosM0n
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黃月英只是笑笑，逕自解釋：「那時候你暈倒了，我種算鬆一口氣。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFlRjn27Rn
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我：「喂。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YHP66LFaN
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黃月英：「開玩笑、開玩笑。運輸隊才進入山裡，就遇上一群山賊，隊員放棄貨物，紛紛鳥獸散。我發覺不對，從車裡出來，卻被那群山賊給包圍。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKsBNxR1Ku
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我：「妳沒事吧？有沒有哪裡受傷？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA68pPyA7rM
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黃月英：「又擔心我了，好可愛喔。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LgEuLQRuv
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妳夠了喔，一個梗不要用這麼多次！45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAzy5fJakg
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黃月英：「放心，我沒有事。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTih3qgeB5c
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那我開始擔心那些山賊了。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfi1mya3qyp
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黃月英：「我當然不可能束手就擒，而是用力地教訓了他們一頓。他們的老大被我打成豬頭，所以那些山賊莫名其妙就把我當成新的老大，然後把我們帶來這裡。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDosj7SK4v
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果然。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GAcT3l4aP
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這時，外頭傳來聲音：「老大！藥來了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwH2I72tDxo
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黃月英：「好，進來吧。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJMOfs5qA7v
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一名山賊端著藥和稀飯進來，交給黃月英，接著問道：「老大！還有沒有別的吩咐？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQ18yOMS46
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我：「不要加驚嘆號。（給我小聲一點）」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VcueUNCOO
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山賊：「是。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡommEz7UiB6
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嗯。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFnVf5sbPk
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「夫人，還有沒有別的吩咐？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvH25UHVgTd
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黃月英笑得快崩潰了：「哈哈哈哈哈，沒、沒你的事了，哈哈，下去吧，哈哈哈、哈哈哈……」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BkaSiOGEy
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我白了她一眼：「妳玩夠了沒有？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡClAj9jp9G4
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黃月英：「先前那麼緊張，一定要先放鬆一下嘛，我也是為你好。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfR8OY2mTMS
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只有妳放鬆了，我一點都沒有放鬆。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeknaQ5e0QN
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「不要這麼嚴肅嘛，先吃點東西墊肚子，才可以喝藥。」黃月英端著起粥，用湯匙勺起一口粥。「來，張嘴。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUBdPF7Eyn
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我總覺得哪裡怪怪的。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCF5btHYLG
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她是不是太活潑了一點？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgrdmx98D2
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我：「有發生什麼好事情嗎？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGs6QwK5Kka
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黃月英：「有人睡著的時候，一直喊人家的名字。哎呀，喊到人家都不好意思了呢。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JL7CMKfsY
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我剛剛什麼都沒有聽到。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BZMZyiINh
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黃月英：「呵呵，乖，張嘴，要好好吃東西才行。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBCnejHttH
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我閉著嘴，順便閉起眼睛。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgSsRewwc0
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黃月英：「所以，某人騙我、七夕不回來陪我過節、還不知道怎麼脫光別人衣服的事情，我就不計較了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfR2h7b1mI
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我乖乖張嘴。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVCToLrv2d
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原來她還是在記仇，難怪一直整我。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83o94LUFNU
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我吃了一口，吞下，說：「我自己來就行了，這樣好奇怪。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5PLKlqFBp
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黃月英沉默了一下。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4or8B62G4
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將碗端給我。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxJqSkyozH
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我：「還是你餵我吧。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoypWq6g3f
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畢竟我兩隻手都動不了了。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQTWU4w8qC
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黃月英一口一口餵我粥，說著：「對了，順便跟你說一下，新野鎖城了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXwTnwiHfr
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這是順便的程度嗎？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJW9PLvOeB
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDh0g3mSTw
黃月英：「傳過來的消息，是說新野城裡的劉備軍隊突襲了關羽在外面駐紮的軍隊。關羽大怒，全軍進入備戰，包圍新野。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBvunSSlfpm
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwEpF0Z629
我想起了那時看到的「劉」字軍旗。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjT9HIqFTx
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHoG4U9sU2j
卻沒有辦法相信。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡonEbKF910k
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdwOJbuhUez
黃月英：「你也覺得不可能吧。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLCtL5PEtr
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1FwQEq5Zf
那天晚上新野的氣氛歡騰，軍隊都在維持治安，並沒有任何戰爭的準備。這樣主動發起突襲，如果關羽直接反攻，勝敗立刻分曉。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxh6kVXDQ1t
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj2rzU63k00
我：「有人在挑撥兩邊發起戰事。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNTqtfrOGU
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQOjEfkyAh
黃月英：「肯定是的。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjOtqeRuRt
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpZeqHqgG7
我：「是誰會幹這種事？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYkmxt1Phj
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchoqZvbNcp
黃月英看著我。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2twmIPW0Wq
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPfDr8PnOn
我：「怎麼？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ginrh4GLN
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Dy7uKWFSr
黃月英：「還要我說？你應該最清楚啊。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUWi0fwpcaS
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyNlRfZMUx
我：「我為什麼會知道？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVpRv99ci7
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡim535KXq3i
黃月英：「『小亮』，你以前到底有多風流啊？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTeDFqvgIh
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJubdiRAZKM
曹燁。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡucP51a1UGO
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNWlJLvIhK
我：「確實是，她的可能性最高。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhccwefgDwi
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxhi72FRDo5
黃月英：「就只有這樣？你沒有別的想說嗎？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeAlj5INbpe
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE0mpnDgqMd
我：「不然呢？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcaEGdFyv7b
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJrq39UkJC
黃月英：「她就在我面前親你，你不該解釋一下跟她是什麼關係嗎？你想要一直讓我耿耿於懷嗎？你要讓我一直誤會下去嗎？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSesSqJDcL9
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7afHfqZBm2
妳自己都知道是誤會了還要問！45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDFL0jDOs6
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWngAK5KZr
我不知道該怎麼解釋。諸葛亮跟曹燁的關係，應該是同時在左慈門下拜師學藝，依左慈訓練我的方式來看，訓練諸葛亮、曹燁、周瑜應該都是集訓式的管理，所以這三人在那其間應該都住在一起。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbSPj3XRD5
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIWOoo0Qpq
諸葛亮這個大色狼怎麼可能會放過就在身邊的美女曹燁？45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡue2NqgTlU7
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsLkr9ungCE
或許黃月英只是想騙自己是個誤會。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWE1uXHgncp
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxFzw93FRAB
我：「我跟她以前一起學藝，除了她之外還有另一個人。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHf9NfA0m6j
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFgqalRvOlu
黃月英：「另外一個人是誰？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmBfyeLRnu
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtSiFjxsbz
我：「周瑜，字公瑾。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsC5Tx4jq5M
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ4vRz377XT
黃月英：「美周郎？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7p4ajNe9G
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9ujLbWlab
我：「就是他。因為只有三個同學，所以感情都不錯，只是這樣而已。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmxSFPOjT4
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiLI2RIoMy
黃月英：「真的就只有這樣？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLv0yIaqKzz
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5AfQNsgvG
我：「當然是真的。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEhCAa3a2DG
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BgL2LtSO3
就像我帶學妹──對不起，我沒梗了，總之就是那樣。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2VrzGmKk1R
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJ6EGPCEVn
只是想說，誠實不一定是件好事。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcASZdIW9W
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1A9xTuIcT
尤其像這種時候。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gHWt5fT1c
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAEPoo8Ww1F
黃月英：「那為什麼人家另外兩個都這麼厲害，你什麼都不會？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaNfY5vgKV
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJj1Mf3paa
哼，要是讓我學個四五年，我就打到他們叫媽媽。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZv2Xn73whl
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGAOjJwQdh
我：「那只是我們鑽研的方向不一樣。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDbkx9l82Ay
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9LhAkwck7
黃月英：「那你是鑽研哪個方向？」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcuZbxzkTql
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXnexzE0ty
房中術。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM1TR8UlNTj
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7khOrXdgKt
我要是說出來，大概會直接被黃月英殺死。45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOG15dnWcW
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmRCXRjL0s4
我：「這很神秘、不好說，說出來妳會怕，所以還是別說了。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjcXEuLKM1
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFFRjRyvfS
黃月英：「你就承認吧。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJB5wmVGDnQ
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZcoDqT6FU1
我：「對不起，我是廢物。」45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP8WtjMSvNx
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡerzCZBBITy
黃月英：「乖，老大保護你。」 45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4vDXYEhvG
45Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkzYdY0oaq
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