我老婆是黃月英──諸葛亮的秘密日記。
作者:
南翁
南翁
篇 #21
第二集：遊龍戲鳳。第五章：動彈不得的我和野蠻的山老大女友。（１）
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當我再次睜開眼睛，只看見一片木板。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPm01KdcAv
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我裸著上身，躺在一張床上。雖然是從暈倒中醒過來，口乾舌燥、還有點意識不清楚，但我的腦袋還有搞清處狀況的能力。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHCQEDAjcs4
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我轉頭往左旁邊一看，空蕩蕩的房間，是我沒有看過的地方。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa53Tgr9Rww
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不意外旁邊一個人都沒有，黃月英本來就不是那種會照顧我到在床邊睡著的類型。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGz7CfnkbET
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這種不意外，雖然是不意外，但意外地有一股淡淡的空虛。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaVbkPV7C5a
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也罷。我試著坐起身，這時卻發現自己右邊的上半身完全沒有知覺，大概是因為傷勢……52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhl6CkUQU7C
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等等。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3vccTtijHP
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雖然我右邊肩膀也有傷，但我記得傷得比較重的是左肩膀啊。我看了下左邊肩膀的繃帶，還有隱隱作痛的感覺，證明我沒有記錯。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF45Ah9AbWO
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我轉向右邊。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJTrGbNw8o
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「你醒了啊。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSfAR1ur32
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我虛弱的魂魄嚇到差點升天。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsHepJhPZqc
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我：「我說妳，一大清早的不要這樣嚇人啊。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgHXxcRvJWS
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黃月英：「現在好像是晚上了。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AcmMizUlG
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我這才注意到身邊是灰暗一片。原來我已經睡這麼久了。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1xH6iQpFv7
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黃月英躺在我的右手上──大概就是我的右半身失去失去知覺的原因──伸了個懶腰，一臉剛睡醒的樣子，說：「可惡，腰酸背痛的。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQI9CZEIbc
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喂、喂，這裡還有個重傷患，可不可以先顧慮一下我的身體？妳這樣直接拿傷患的右手臂當成枕頭是怎麼回事？52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEyHnwEQrCl
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算了，跟她討論這些簡直就是對牛彈琴，我單純的說：「我的右手麻掉了，妳可不可以起來一下？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsGiWT2LOH
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黃月英輕呼了聲，彈起身：「抱歉，實在太累，不小心就睡著了。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxQURPHMgr
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原來妳還知道要不好意思啊，真是偉大的發現。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeXg6Hodbg0
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黃月英：「你那是什麼表情啊，還不是為了照顧你才這樣睡著的，你一下血流不止一下又發燒一下又狂流汗，沒看過這麼難照顧的人。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡle34OccruL
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謝謝妳。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDUuuxqeTqr
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真的。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgIWmf4anb8
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但我只是說：「妳確定不是想趁機偷吃我豆腐，然後不小心睡著了？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgUmUgcSdea
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黃月英避開我的眼神：「你想太多了。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoobgVSv2S
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我笑了下。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOk68D7sGTL
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空虛的感覺一掃而空。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf816KsaRfW
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黃月英越過我，下了床，說：「看你還這麼有精神，應該是沒事了。不過你還是先不要亂動，乖乖躺著，不然傷口裂開就不好了。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3YPUis7a7p
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我：「先拿一點水來吧。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjo7aYLt5hT
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黃月英：「我正要拿呢。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ08tSkVJg3q
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黃月英說要拿，卻是對著外頭突然一喊：「喂！給我拿點水進來。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazsnmUrDMv
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我：「妳是在對誰……」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9nQF3nuyX
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「是！老大，已經準備好了。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI9Fh0S3gpH
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啊？52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQv62OMgtFn
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老大？52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtQghF2OFz
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兩名男子這時開門走進來，一人端著水盆、一人提著水壺，恭恭敬敬地拿到黃月英面前。這兩名男子一臉兇惡，臉上各自帶有刀疤，穿著獸皮背心、短皮褲，毛髮濃密、尤其胸前的胸毛多得有點嚇人，看起來像是一輩子活在山裡的野人。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6uRVk4ndhL
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黃月英卻是理所當然地使喚那兩人：「放著就行了。叫大夫去把藥煮好，對了，叫廚房的人煮一些粥，跟藥一起端過來。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtHBTlN39m
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兩名男子異口同聲：「是！」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3fXFQ9TGWN
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「把門關上。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrBSfCtGLgQ
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「是！」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ73psVhb7Mj
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黃月英回頭。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGyapnOLgRs
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我的表情一定很奇怪。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBTfCqoP61
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黃月英：「怎麼了？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkb6JOq3JJ6
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怎麼了？她問我怎麼了？52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEOzz2m3k3
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我：「那是怎麼回事？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhI0iOny16Q
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黃月英：「喔，這個說來話長。就是不知不覺間變成一群山賊的老大。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3LydwPRA05
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山老大啊！果然是山老大！我從一開始就預言她絕對是個當山老大的料！52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvW3eV7Mkmy
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我：「稍微解釋一下吧。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeYscY4vfV
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黃月英拿著水壺硬是灌了我一口、用毛巾沾水給我擦了擦臉，然後才說：「你還是先休息吧。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqtVpNubIc
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最好是還休息的下去。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVV9yCY2qBG
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我：「就當給我講床邊故事吧。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSH0y0Y4Bgv
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黃月英：「這麼愛撒嬌，真可愛呢。『柔柔弱弱的，一定很溫柔』，難怪『有人』這麼喜歡你。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhsm5xQISeH
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故意不說就是要用這個戲謔我對不對？是不是？一定是這樣！52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpI6nEZBnPl
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黃月英坐到床邊：「好啦，不開玩笑了，你不要生氣，生氣的話傷口會更難癒合的。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9P20Ns5VCK
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我沒有應聲。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJBuK7vI79
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黃月英只是笑笑，逕自解釋：「那時候你暈倒了，我種算鬆一口氣。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMNW8AGaCR
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我：「喂。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxZFUAvRG5
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黃月英：「開玩笑、開玩笑。運輸隊才進入山裡，就遇上一群山賊，隊員放棄貨物，紛紛鳥獸散。我發覺不對，從車裡出來，卻被那群山賊給包圍。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlBfNI2uUm
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我：「妳沒事吧？有沒有哪裡受傷？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoZVRiSdIB
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黃月英：「又擔心我了，好可愛喔。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNekvNWiBL6
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妳夠了喔，一個梗不要用這麼多次！52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUgEJb7tCUc
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黃月英：「放心，我沒有事。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaR3XD8KPX
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那我開始擔心那些山賊了。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM9Pgu2SLPi
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黃月英：「我當然不可能束手就擒，而是用力地教訓了他們一頓。他們的老大被我打成豬頭，所以那些山賊莫名其妙就把我當成新的老大，然後把我們帶來這裡。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgL9XehscvS
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果然。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubdjAeRvjf
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這時，外頭傳來聲音：「老大！藥來了。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3Ut7LNMnG
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黃月英：「好，進來吧。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQzVn89DIt
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一名山賊端著藥和稀飯進來，交給黃月英，接著問道：「老大！還有沒有別的吩咐？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTefYfpCmLI
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我：「不要加驚嘆號。（給我小聲一點）」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWWUK5l6ae7
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山賊：「是。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZNPioZ5mZM
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嗯。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvrmLQNg0ST
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「夫人，還有沒有別的吩咐？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsoHHl7hBg
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……52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJzKNgyo1Q
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黃月英笑得快崩潰了：「哈哈哈哈哈，沒、沒你的事了，哈哈，下去吧，哈哈哈、哈哈哈……」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDvdOKlxI9
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我白了她一眼：「妳玩夠了沒有？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumsBNlM7gF
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黃月英：「先前那麼緊張，一定要先放鬆一下嘛，我也是為你好。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QtRa3BFkt
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只有妳放鬆了，我一點都沒有放鬆。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUGQuIFWNA
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「不要這麼嚴肅嘛，先吃點東西墊肚子，才可以喝藥。」黃月英端著起粥，用湯匙勺起一口粥。「來，張嘴。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH5U7YU84CI
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我總覺得哪裡怪怪的。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡND8yzzGy81
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她是不是太活潑了一點？52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUJ7IitQAu
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我：「有發生什麼好事情嗎？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9wZCPhH32W
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黃月英：「有人睡著的時候，一直喊人家的名字。哎呀，喊到人家都不好意思了呢。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksTDgWz8rm
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我剛剛什麼都沒有聽到。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjOS8ws5mSw
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黃月英：「呵呵，乖，張嘴，要好好吃東西才行。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePQtSd6qXc
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我閉著嘴，順便閉起眼睛。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg77knCohW7
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黃月英：「所以，某人騙我、七夕不回來陪我過節、還不知道怎麼脫光別人衣服的事情，我就不計較了。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGfrzT5gex
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我乖乖張嘴。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKuuRMGXfZ
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原來她還是在記仇，難怪一直整我。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv8jHux8B7N
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我吃了一口，吞下，說：「我自己來就行了，這樣好奇怪。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLAihDxmHl
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黃月英沉默了一下。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkeFojUnELu
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將碗端給我。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSbm9ORZrAY
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我：「還是你餵我吧。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbHLSLDl9h
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畢竟我兩隻手都動不了了。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyrBQUws3HM
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黃月英一口一口餵我粥，說著：「對了，順便跟你說一下，新野鎖城了。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLuRWEs7SzV
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8IdmEDpuU
這是順便的程度嗎？52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0roaNKNH1o
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjk0aNw3qUE
黃月英：「傳過來的消息，是說新野城裡的劉備軍隊突襲了關羽在外面駐紮的軍隊。關羽大怒，全軍進入備戰，包圍新野。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvqoJ4Cm8x
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZgaLl6kDf
我想起了那時看到的「劉」字軍旗。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyBolhXlPtB
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbfLP634uO
卻沒有辦法相信。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN14P77jDxD
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmhcufgZea
黃月英：「你也覺得不可能吧。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkIlCqGgvB
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3m7Taj7m2K
那天晚上新野的氣氛歡騰，軍隊都在維持治安，並沒有任何戰爭的準備。這樣主動發起突襲，如果關羽直接反攻，勝敗立刻分曉。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto2TemsUTZ
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZA650T6kyq
我：「有人在挑撥兩邊發起戰事。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqhQYtPx0k
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQr41SW5xY2
黃月英：「肯定是的。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDnV7s3gRZ
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiMydWEmrf
我：「是誰會幹這種事？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNe3SFVq0qM
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7zta1iyZX
黃月英看著我。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNwpp3nsVjs
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbErnr2nLM0
我：「怎麼？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovzEhDquQX
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr7wFIOOggJ
黃月英：「還要我說？你應該最清楚啊。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvfKt1stLr
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJJgYyyho0
我：「我為什麼會知道？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6x4zwi3jpf
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQoAARTzhm7
黃月英：「『小亮』，你以前到底有多風流啊？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf63uemKD03
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdO1yq2nwGr
曹燁。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoYYmxbqO7
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bnRpyJGaL
我：「確實是，她的可能性最高。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtUtNnJ7To
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPU8pa7kNSW
黃月英：「就只有這樣？你沒有別的想說嗎？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9iqpt3EE3C
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbOXkIky4t
我：「不然呢？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOEFzoWpHd8
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡES9EPkFLAF
黃月英：「她就在我面前親你，你不該解釋一下跟她是什麼關係嗎？你想要一直讓我耿耿於懷嗎？你要讓我一直誤會下去嗎？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRS2GbID7e
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYqt57JLaM
妳自己都知道是誤會了還要問！52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1rxOzsOkVV
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmJNnNcJ4f
我不知道該怎麼解釋。諸葛亮跟曹燁的關係，應該是同時在左慈門下拜師學藝，依左慈訓練我的方式來看，訓練諸葛亮、曹燁、周瑜應該都是集訓式的管理，所以這三人在那其間應該都住在一起。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOl4MlKRSA
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaIyq2JpeYe
諸葛亮這個大色狼怎麼可能會放過就在身邊的美女曹燁？52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBT9keh51J7
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnfJ1dnG6SN
或許黃月英只是想騙自己是個誤會。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUTmPbm0oPA
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4w77V4c8LQ
我：「我跟她以前一起學藝，除了她之外還有另一個人。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MSyxN86LY
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXT8veuEyi
黃月英：「另外一個人是誰？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgxpuujjZV
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyHXf64vVvt
我：「周瑜，字公瑾。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvLuClX3WD
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSvUjT0jIFg
黃月英：「美周郎？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXM1yU8iXhL
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQAU26RSMI
我：「就是他。因為只有三個同學，所以感情都不錯，只是這樣而已。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡScykak8DJD
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGelINKQZgp
黃月英：「真的就只有這樣？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5u4Fg5I3iI
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQ38bs32vi
我：「當然是真的。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfr2bVfWvli
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJ3kj8gJeX
就像我帶學妹──對不起，我沒梗了，總之就是那樣。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYsc2MH6PUl
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0wgYiPsjL
只是想說，誠實不一定是件好事。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0vK6mJm1n
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3HHWe44wu
尤其像這種時候。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5nGWQLsua
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEGuf9JLoG1
黃月英：「那為什麼人家另外兩個都這麼厲害，你什麼都不會？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOimVaxDqQq
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYV0gIRgYL5
哼，要是讓我學個四五年，我就打到他們叫媽媽。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqWYE8m0k9K
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX15BUrcRkk
我：「那只是我們鑽研的方向不一樣。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxeMFYVEowN
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0HWQPfeXe
黃月英：「那你是鑽研哪個方向？」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqRrzO6Tcv
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtieqjACWGR
房中術。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TmXCSRUqF
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4VrRfiA2G
我要是說出來，大概會直接被黃月英殺死。52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrYw6aG593
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0DwTrn8aIo
我：「這很神秘、不好說，說出來妳會怕，所以還是別說了。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivOBOusFcL
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rm5TFtSd9
黃月英：「你就承認吧。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1LDmYChRi
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGeb92nvSox
我：「對不起，我是廢物。」52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkERLWoaakt
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrfIuzpTJZJ
黃月英：「乖，老大保護你。」 52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjUzRnp8SB
52Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7wy1W6A5d
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