我老婆是黃月英──諸葛亮的秘密日記。
作者:
南翁
南翁
篇 #13
第二集：遊龍戲鳳。第二章：賭博時千萬不要想這個是最後一把。（２）
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而且我還看見一個機會。她看起來挺好套話的。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaraI0SQEON
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我：「真的可以嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6aULAjZttg
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關銀屏：「當然是真的。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1IFRNPHQHw
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我：「那真是太感謝妳了。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNbEnwU93se
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關銀屏笑了下，卻又突然落寞，說：「不用謝我，你會變成這樣，我也要負一些責任。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡraxWlFTWfp
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啊？那妳懷孕了我是不是也要跟妳老公道歉？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8LBZJioqa
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我：「跟妳沒有關係吧？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDczphbtuJ
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關銀屏：「唉，我父親擅自離開，肯定給新野的百姓造成很大的困擾吧。要是我能勸他回心轉意就好了、如果我是個男人……」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hqep2CA4H
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我想了一下，雖然我知道她父親是誰，但我還是得裝作不知道她父親是誰才行：「你父親是？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyiORJKhteM
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關銀屏：「真是抱歉，我比較少拋頭露面，所以你可能沒看過我。我父親名諱上關下羽，字雲長，你既然住在新野，應該知道吧。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHW5U1aYGtT
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然後我還得裝作不知道劉備死了、關羽離開：「關將軍？聽說他與玄德公前往荊襄之地，回程途中另有要事離開沒有回新野，難不成發生什麼事嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPwEpMJ3nu
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關銀屏輕輕驚呼一聲，猶豫了下，開口：「看樣子，新野的百姓都還不知道這件事吧，但我不知道能不能說……」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRjIRB4UCl
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我當然是這樣說：「大人不需要勉強。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5t0P7e3uG5
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關銀屏沉吟了一下，開口：「還是讓你了解一下情況，等等你比較好回答。事情是這樣的，玄德大人在前些日子過世了。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVUPhVPbt2
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我更得裝出驚訝之樣：「什麼？怎麼可能？怎麼死的？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlleqRQBUF
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關銀屏：「你先別問，讓我說完。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvoiRYxqWoQ
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我點點頭。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfG8N3BGfQx
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關銀屏：「玄德大人死後，父親與其他大臣吵了起來，分道揚鑣。父親卻是帶著我們四處招兵買馬。我們本來帶著五千兵力，糧草已顯不足，這些日子卻又緊急招了三千新兵，若再不思對策，糧草恐怕撐不過七天。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoDFxWz8Zui
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難道是招三千個可憐的男人晚上服侍他？我如果答應進去當兵，該不會也要「個別審查」吧？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Fc0RMGBVE
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我先不去想那些，問道：「關羽將軍想攻擊新野嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRBnLPfOL2S
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關銀屏：「父親大人並沒有下命令，我也不清楚他在想什麼。我曾試著去問過，但我父親他、他對女性很敏感，只要我一靠近，他就會全身發癢、起紅疹，有一次還休克，差一點就丟了性命。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGxfo2rs8a
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這是「過敏」吧？我還是第一次聽到有人對女人過敏的。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3x07nkdTjI
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關銀屏嘆道：「所以，我有事要跟父親說，都只敢遠遠地喊。雖然父親對我很好，我有什麼要求幾乎都會答應，但還是越來越疏遠了……」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFcOzku5BS
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關銀屏停下那個話題，話鋒一轉：「父親有什麼想法，都會跟我大哥討論，所以他應該會知道。但是大哥是個很嚴肅的人，和我們幾個弟妹都不太說話，我也不太敢問他。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Be2iEiK8K
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我：「連一點消息都沒有透漏嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3XMbWtlgr
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關銀屏：「我只知道不可能會立刻攻打，要先在此處紮營。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgwhvES9kPS
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看來，只能從關羽或是關平身上下手了。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDnq78GKnV6
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忽然間，地表傳來隱隱震動。我往東方看去，一陣煙塵沖天，大隊人馬正往這裡過來。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52rmHgdAFW
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關銀屏起身，道：「我父親到了，他對外人、下屬都很客氣。你只好好回答，我再替你說話，他不會拒絕我的。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOUuOpf6ds
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我：「麻煩你了。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDAitNGE4of
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關銀屏不再說話，只是點點頭。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7ruuiI3EF
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有一馬當先，往我們的方向快速移動。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaAqqYp2Ud1
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一匹鮮紅寶馬，一個巨人身影，一柄九尺長刀。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVXJ7Ws3nWJ
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武聖，關羽雲長。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUA1fGf70k
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關羽來到我們兩個面前。他的外貌，除了沒有一般印象中的大紅臉而是普通的黃種人臉龐，都與小貝形容的、現代印象中的差不多，唯一不同的，是我親眼見到他時他帶給我的壓迫感。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡad0DA57ngq
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關羽一雙眼睛炯炯有神，一舉一動如巨靈神般擾動天地，只是單純地騎在馬上，讓我感覺背上突然多了一個一百公斤的枷鎖。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9kanht6av
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果然是百聞不如一見，任何可笑傳言都在見面的一瞬間破滅。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hrAMl98sg
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關銀屏走上前：「父親大人……」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhJ21Au0zW
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「等等，不、不要過來。」那個巨靈神摔下馬，感覺像極了飆車耍狠的小屁孩遇上拿槍的黑道，在地上用爬的。「我不是說過不要靠近我嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnS3bj1xF6K
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嗯。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsXlNrKOIO
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這樣打我的臉，我還能說什麼？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1dYoCbP9G
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關銀屏退得遠遠的，大聲喊道：「抱歉，父親大人。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGX3kdD5dRr
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關羽這才起身，穩了穩身子，收斂神情，問道：「現在是什麼情況？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ogyMrZYLu
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關銀屏：「大哥前去新野城內查探，安國、維之在附近巡邏。我們在來時看到此人，他說是從新野城逃出來的，但大哥認為他可能是曹操派來的奸細，要我綁住他，聽候您的發落。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO52Io4y2HR
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「知道了，妳先退開些，讓我問他。」關羽好像還是很怕關銀屏，等到關銀屏又退開兩步，才走到我面前。「你叫什麼名字？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfUwPEdsYK
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我其實已經想很多更好的名字，但已經騙了關銀屏，這時不能自打嘴巴，只好硬著頭皮說：「朱哥。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmU10fhqLtD
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關羽皺眉。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVhdLS6nSZn
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我感覺他好像要砍我了。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyXIwLd9gl
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幸好關羽只是繼續問：「我問你，新野城裡的狀況怎麼樣？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡouBQ5EQosn
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我盡量保持音量，讓聲音只有我跟關羽能聽到：「一切還算安好，只是簡雍、麋竺兩位大人帶人搬離了原來的住處，後來只有看見一個女人會出入。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡclJWXrVacE
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關羽：「這樣啊，應該是小貝吧……還有嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFGxiSK0fJ
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我：「小人只是聽說過一些流言，不知道其真實性。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdt8pHv9Fso
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關羽：「快說。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZpwGdAsZC
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我：「也不知道是因為什麼事情，只是聽說簡雍大人和麋竺大人正吵得不可開交呢。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWoz45IRc1
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關羽：「他們兩個還在吵啊，真是傻子。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSTE72iZYk
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我：「我知道的就這麼多了。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VCgLYdJPX
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關羽點點頭：「看來你確實是新野的居民。小兒多有得罪，請多包涵。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTIPm7MIUL
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這關羽果然如關銀屏所說，對外人相當客氣，這對我來說方便許多。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNRv0UD8tW
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我：「小人賤命一條，大人無須抱歉。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjSalzX1uCs
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關羽：「你無處可去？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldZljoZq6p
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我故作沉吟：「這個……」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEshF1ZC4w
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關羽：「那你就留下吧，我總覺得好像在哪裡見過你……這就是一見如故吧，哈哈哈，我就收你當我的部下怎麼樣？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzUmGFZsfLo
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等等。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUsEGmy33Am
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我怎麼突然覺得屁股涼涼的？41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzN4aSkbZcu
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我連忙用求救的眼神看向關銀屏。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw3IfE62IU
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關銀屏跑上前，道：「父親大人！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyI5Ge2TqB5
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關羽嚇得連連倒退：「什麼事？妳先不要靠過來！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUXmvbEt4z
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關銀屏：「我的貼身侍衛前幾天離隊了，我這邊還缺一個人，可以讓他到我這邊來嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQSJKdUOYUE
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關羽：「這、這樣啊，好，可以，妳就自己帶他熟習一下──不要再靠過來──我先過去整隊了！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1XWKKWD1x
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關羽說完，騎上無奈的赤兔馬，落荒而逃。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWInc9CmAZd
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令我不禁莞爾。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqpQ7s0fRt6
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關銀屏也笑了：「我父親很有趣吧？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLqxtIRr3Jv
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那也要加上妳在旁邊才會有趣啊。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikliqbg0VA
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我：「我可是嚇了一身冷汗。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpQ3VmsA4I
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關銀屏：「那你最好跟緊我。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlXLf1NQRv
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那是肯定要的。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAmLnzix9no
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正如關銀屏所言，關羽帶領的軍隊開始在台地上紮營。所有的軍營都下紮了，看起來是有長期抗戰的打算，不必擔心短時間內會發起戰爭。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ81CtYiDB1B
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我跟著關銀屏，幫忙將營地紮好。關銀屏有自己的一個專屬帳篷，卻沒有比較貼身的侍女之類，只有一個男性的近身護衛，加上我則是兩個。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSStKEza9GR
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關銀屏給我介紹另一名護衛：「朱哥，這位是旺來；旺來，這是新來的朱哥。你們要好好相處喔。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbHGeQdF2H
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我看了一下這位旺來老兄。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQ4g9Mq3Gq
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我：「妳在跟我開玩笑嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0nkHf8tRS9
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「開玩笑？沒有啊。」關銀屏蹲下。「旺來，打聲招呼啊。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrBU0FqjcV
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旺來很開心地跟我打招呼：「汪！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJGiGjrpOTC
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是的，那是隻狗，一隻有我半個人高的土黃色老狗。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHIjFOxreB1
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7kVbAhRm5Y
關銀屏：「那我進去換件衣服，你們就先在門外替我守著。如果我沒有喊你們，絕對不準進來，知道嗎？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQUcBYs3V5
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFE0AVmX4hf
我：「知道了。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkThsegzdv7
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCIzDshyhi
旺來：「汪！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvZb7JPDCN
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqhAXWqffj
關銀屏進入營帳中。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkTk8ig5dZE
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9BOs6cWbjX
「旺來老兄，請多多指教了。」我說著，一邊蹲下，想摸摸旺來。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNm3FYIwDzK
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS6kkpkgf9p
誰知那旺來竟然不給面子，移開身子，反應簡直像個人似地，頭一撇、鼻孔一出氣，完全不把我放在眼裡。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcos7eUItHn
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAHcvQkoi5N
我：「你這傢伙還真精明啊，竟然還會裝模作樣？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6uIRAEUiU
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeIzfQWarfn
旺來轉過頭面對我，趾高氣昂地舉起手甩了甩，竟是要我閃到一邊去。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVd1bvaNKt
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zSmydJiFb
媽的，真的連狗都比我囂張啊。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxjY6ZBupu
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0teh96z0V4
我不理它，站起身。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyEZPsViqB
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bPXfkgGkR
這時，旁邊卻突然有一大群士兵圍上來。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi7p6N6kxcy
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8L7c8RLO4h
我：「你們幹什麼？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSki78TjQqa
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOigBLPsSa
「幹什麼？當然是來偷窺啊。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSbs0UsyCO
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0juQE3F462
「關小姐人長得漂亮、個性又好，真是我們的女神啊。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡccmUnqtKPs
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgjJ2SkTK2A
「只要能和關小姐說上幾句話，我就算死也甘願啊。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGPtubOVcj
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ84gTBiIN40
這群色狗。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN7rEooh6MO
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5hjgV7d4ne
我：「小心旺來會……」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOmYNjVrOm
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPelPceDNc
會流著口水一起偷看。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFV03y8lRpq
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYptlp1L4m
這隻才是真正的色狗。只親近女人是吧？我看我跟這隻色狗是相處不好了。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrWX81QOkWY
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xDTXHn6ql
我也轉頭看了下。我可不是自己想看，不是、真的不是、絕對不是，我只是想要看看他們在看什麼。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsB7eo1OsFV
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKUlhE50Nf
但我什麼都看不到。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe3ys3mfGUP
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZJQupz7tj
我：「你們好歹也晚上再來看吧，至少能看到一點剪影什麼的。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp1IQDcNWCo
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdyZgO6Mwum
眾人用看著白癡的眼神看著我。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03bqLeZcC1
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYXwWyYPVM
我無法理解：「怎、怎麼了？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSImql7ZN6
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkAAZjMvfI
「要靠想像、想像！」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNcQR2etGV
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Aj9oqMkr4
「你也太傻了，要是晚上輪得到我們，還需要在這邊乾瞪眼？」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusohHWm58a
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoe8uv0bmn
「唉，別說了，要是能幫關小姐燒洗澡水，我就算死也甘願啊。」41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksFonuF1QM
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JPlj1hHjg
我只能無言以對。41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyNWBLjmb0
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCaf5XoKjY
還有，我說過，同一個梗不要用兩次！41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU0wD2ikKAT
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBYt9O8xQx
眾人似乎被我打擾了興致，這時一哄而散。 41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUCMZJxQmU
41Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGe25yg1r2R
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