我老婆是黃月英──諸葛亮的秘密日記。
作者:
南翁
南翁
篇 #21
第二集：遊龍戲鳳。第五章：動彈不得的我和野蠻的山老大女友。（１）
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當我再次睜開眼睛，只看見一片木板。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQTHEV94LQi
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我裸著上身，躺在一張床上。雖然是從暈倒中醒過來，口乾舌燥、還有點意識不清楚，但我的腦袋還有搞清處狀況的能力。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFbECXuDaH
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我轉頭往左旁邊一看，空蕩蕩的房間，是我沒有看過的地方。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgykyety3nN
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不意外旁邊一個人都沒有，黃月英本來就不是那種會照顧我到在床邊睡著的類型。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXQv7ylxU67
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這種不意外，雖然是不意外，但意外地有一股淡淡的空虛。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF48L32T6zt
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也罷。我試著坐起身，這時卻發現自己右邊的上半身完全沒有知覺，大概是因為傷勢……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7WV85LsXb
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等等。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0HGmUAB69
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雖然我右邊肩膀也有傷，但我記得傷得比較重的是左肩膀啊。我看了下左邊肩膀的繃帶，還有隱隱作痛的感覺，證明我沒有記錯。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcg4nX3HtX8
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我轉向右邊。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaydufMXxG1
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「你醒了啊。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNEDhp7QtT7
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我虛弱的魂魄嚇到差點升天。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsd3ZB5vdV0
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我：「我說妳，一大清早的不要這樣嚇人啊。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdnHMFrVOv
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黃月英：「現在好像是晚上了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQu5pTRH8cl
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我這才注意到身邊是灰暗一片。原來我已經睡這麼久了。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmeXvjoNpR8
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黃月英躺在我的右手上──大概就是我的右半身失去失去知覺的原因──伸了個懶腰，一臉剛睡醒的樣子，說：「可惡，腰酸背痛的。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZy5XQDTaej
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喂、喂，這裡還有個重傷患，可不可以先顧慮一下我的身體？妳這樣直接拿傷患的右手臂當成枕頭是怎麼回事？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVchNRGElCq
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算了，跟她討論這些簡直就是對牛彈琴，我單純的說：「我的右手麻掉了，妳可不可以起來一下？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWxa0LnnP8
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黃月英輕呼了聲，彈起身：「抱歉，實在太累，不小心就睡著了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuV6wb6ta8c
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原來妳還知道要不好意思啊，真是偉大的發現。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDRziwEw3d
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黃月英：「你那是什麼表情啊，還不是為了照顧你才這樣睡著的，你一下血流不止一下又發燒一下又狂流汗，沒看過這麼難照顧的人。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUjuTlQq1k
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謝謝妳。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQchZSgrXLA
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真的。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53rOZvGFk8
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但我只是說：「妳確定不是想趁機偷吃我豆腐，然後不小心睡著了？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUx3MrSofn
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黃月英避開我的眼神：「你想太多了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw9scwlbqmB
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我笑了下。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIiyueYI0b
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空虛的感覺一掃而空。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBYqGJIQSA
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黃月英越過我，下了床，說：「看你還這麼有精神，應該是沒事了。不過你還是先不要亂動，乖乖躺著，不然傷口裂開就不好了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtUrlDFOj4
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我：「先拿一點水來吧。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqn30bk3HhR
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黃月英：「我正要拿呢。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwMJMyCX3S
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黃月英說要拿，卻是對著外頭突然一喊：「喂！給我拿點水進來。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsTFHP99tQ
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我：「妳是在對誰……」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHd1wfqQIsE
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「是！老大，已經準備好了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmN5OSt0x8X
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啊？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKs0ynZXUYH
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老大？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpyjGZUq7Eh
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兩名男子這時開門走進來，一人端著水盆、一人提著水壺，恭恭敬敬地拿到黃月英面前。這兩名男子一臉兇惡，臉上各自帶有刀疤，穿著獸皮背心、短皮褲，毛髮濃密、尤其胸前的胸毛多得有點嚇人，看起來像是一輩子活在山裡的野人。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLTAQ2Nsr3
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黃月英卻是理所當然地使喚那兩人：「放著就行了。叫大夫去把藥煮好，對了，叫廚房的人煮一些粥，跟藥一起端過來。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtSdAgrZxZ
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兩名男子異口同聲：「是！」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtekHqFxPlo
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「把門關上。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5cIkrhnQAF
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「是！」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeUOI43yQp
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黃月英回頭。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9pY5qkbFa
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我的表情一定很奇怪。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FH4vmYVoZ
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黃月英：「怎麼了？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2OPtBmldb
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怎麼了？她問我怎麼了？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IVB0rFt95
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我：「那是怎麼回事？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFob2TAdZh
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黃月英：「喔，這個說來話長。就是不知不覺間變成一群山賊的老大。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA16S7plJQt
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山老大啊！果然是山老大！我從一開始就預言她絕對是個當山老大的料！51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqP1t6TK2cK
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我：「稍微解釋一下吧。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxN6eg4r8JC
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黃月英拿著水壺硬是灌了我一口、用毛巾沾水給我擦了擦臉，然後才說：「你還是先休息吧。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqSbAgyd5MJ
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最好是還休息的下去。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJpj3bHYi5
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我：「就當給我講床邊故事吧。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI4c6343NZj
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黃月英：「這麼愛撒嬌，真可愛呢。『柔柔弱弱的，一定很溫柔』，難怪『有人』這麼喜歡你。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskrKwt7oUz
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故意不說就是要用這個戲謔我對不對？是不是？一定是這樣！51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLb3HeLzacX
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黃月英坐到床邊：「好啦，不開玩笑了，你不要生氣，生氣的話傷口會更難癒合的。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7H5DghNJB
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我沒有應聲。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzPZDASPFe
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黃月英只是笑笑，逕自解釋：「那時候你暈倒了，我種算鬆一口氣。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVGNvcb634r
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我：「喂。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8kdFBqRl0j
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黃月英：「開玩笑、開玩笑。運輸隊才進入山裡，就遇上一群山賊，隊員放棄貨物，紛紛鳥獸散。我發覺不對，從車裡出來，卻被那群山賊給包圍。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4pSyZNjhh
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我：「妳沒事吧？有沒有哪裡受傷？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIelKEsIPlY
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黃月英：「又擔心我了，好可愛喔。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjjFroMXlWZ
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妳夠了喔，一個梗不要用這麼多次！51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTDpJIs9mc
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黃月英：「放心，我沒有事。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSyb0ExoLy
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那我開始擔心那些山賊了。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtu2pp79LFp
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黃月英：「我當然不可能束手就擒，而是用力地教訓了他們一頓。他們的老大被我打成豬頭，所以那些山賊莫名其妙就把我當成新的老大，然後把我們帶來這裡。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCa0Hu2S2qF
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果然。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMrCxJCKuLJ
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這時，外頭傳來聲音：「老大！藥來了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZAjvDX4Uaa
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黃月英：「好，進來吧。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0z3LaNvdhJ
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一名山賊端著藥和稀飯進來，交給黃月英，接著問道：「老大！還有沒有別的吩咐？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRlHubpEAw
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我：「不要加驚嘆號。（給我小聲一點）」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9Xb4oikyl
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山賊：「是。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaSOOTwGVO3
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嗯。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAqxrr8j52
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「夫人，還有沒有別的吩咐？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5v5ILCZNM
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……51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLaKIed2nM
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黃月英笑得快崩潰了：「哈哈哈哈哈，沒、沒你的事了，哈哈，下去吧，哈哈哈、哈哈哈……」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrKzR7gwhPu
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我白了她一眼：「妳玩夠了沒有？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrPEIh9BNH6
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黃月英：「先前那麼緊張，一定要先放鬆一下嘛，我也是為你好。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBmdS5OI4mk
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只有妳放鬆了，我一點都沒有放鬆。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzF9BdUrB1
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「不要這麼嚴肅嘛，先吃點東西墊肚子，才可以喝藥。」黃月英端著起粥，用湯匙勺起一口粥。「來，張嘴。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtg2laTquEx
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我總覺得哪裡怪怪的。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoXXhFM149
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她是不是太活潑了一點？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaornsv9fxM
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我：「有發生什麼好事情嗎？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYEDojxsCJ
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黃月英：「有人睡著的時候，一直喊人家的名字。哎呀，喊到人家都不好意思了呢。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFEjCIwQXfv
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我剛剛什麼都沒有聽到。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsOZ0ptZGJ
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黃月英：「呵呵，乖，張嘴，要好好吃東西才行。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0FMWdgYoA7
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我閉著嘴，順便閉起眼睛。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiC1QUbU67y
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黃月英：「所以，某人騙我、七夕不回來陪我過節、還不知道怎麼脫光別人衣服的事情，我就不計較了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh4YcuZ4jCW
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我乖乖張嘴。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1kNowbCb5k
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原來她還是在記仇，難怪一直整我。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtopttmBdGw
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我吃了一口，吞下，說：「我自己來就行了，這樣好奇怪。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAm8tFJ6Y8u
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黃月英沉默了一下。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT8z0zCHgZH
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將碗端給我。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wh5LRkQ6v
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我：「還是你餵我吧。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1XpEZlLplw
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畢竟我兩隻手都動不了了。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlynbJJgiFB
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黃月英一口一口餵我粥，說著：「對了，順便跟你說一下，新野鎖城了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8YrUPvnIU
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這是順便的程度嗎？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIlo0FiVFR
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡheU6LX04VF
黃月英：「傳過來的消息，是說新野城裡的劉備軍隊突襲了關羽在外面駐紮的軍隊。關羽大怒，全軍進入備戰，包圍新野。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwpoLUW5Dv
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pF1LaydQn
我想起了那時看到的「劉」字軍旗。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEdJxUWB0M
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3HQUcFaTMP
卻沒有辦法相信。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTL0lNjrMgZ
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrW242jnQV2
黃月英：「你也覺得不可能吧。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyIdKOUzdB
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOyFEZe2jBA
那天晚上新野的氣氛歡騰，軍隊都在維持治安，並沒有任何戰爭的準備。這樣主動發起突襲，如果關羽直接反攻，勝敗立刻分曉。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwAObr0xVSM
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVThRNp8tX
我：「有人在挑撥兩邊發起戰事。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVqclaB1CP
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybNgzLCLza
黃月英：「肯定是的。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt07xmC2flU
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyK8OdXlEB
我：「是誰會幹這種事？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt96q8sIxc8
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZjftfhVhj
黃月英看著我。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3bt4WHk4B
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqp7tQ8aE6
我：「怎麼？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoPbeMV4O9
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqPFT9LHuk5
黃月英：「還要我說？你應該最清楚啊。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyeOwSQXzU
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPLyYbNETQn
我：「我為什麼會知道？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQBuTMJCIS
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJQwcxyzmn
黃月英：「『小亮』，你以前到底有多風流啊？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnL81S5Imnt
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMeqKxHIat9
曹燁。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EFGmWuKr9
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXwJNogUFC
我：「確實是，她的可能性最高。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRaHhg6rZp
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wxYCEc0sq
黃月英：「就只有這樣？你沒有別的想說嗎？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeffwttZQpK
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgtBRUxNzYL
我：「不然呢？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrVtJrRAFpu
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqYE7jUt8T
黃月英：「她就在我面前親你，你不該解釋一下跟她是什麼關係嗎？你想要一直讓我耿耿於懷嗎？你要讓我一直誤會下去嗎？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvbS7B4CsL
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuLlIU7aEKs
妳自己都知道是誤會了還要問！51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZs5BICBJs
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvFtvLuhbK
我不知道該怎麼解釋。諸葛亮跟曹燁的關係，應該是同時在左慈門下拜師學藝，依左慈訓練我的方式來看，訓練諸葛亮、曹燁、周瑜應該都是集訓式的管理，所以這三人在那其間應該都住在一起。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7I2XNA1H6p
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAeoLV5MMp
諸葛亮這個大色狼怎麼可能會放過就在身邊的美女曹燁？51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTgjrPCYQr
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg84WmVccT8
或許黃月英只是想騙自己是個誤會。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr0iUQjDbt
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjcz0ywQux
我：「我跟她以前一起學藝，除了她之外還有另一個人。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8m6hptRf5
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLKr6uoZ0U
黃月英：「另外一個人是誰？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlB4qJSclT1
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQhJDJnpM4n
我：「周瑜，字公瑾。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjPerGz95j
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYxpDMGJcyA
黃月英：「美周郎？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMz62YjL4Af
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5LslKlIXm
我：「就是他。因為只有三個同學，所以感情都不錯，只是這樣而已。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3DpTeJzgnt
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVhDibMF6q
黃月英：「真的就只有這樣？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb4fXEOVpaf
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHeI4nnwtYT
我：「當然是真的。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuOQmXx0uK
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwEP08CjeA
就像我帶學妹──對不起，我沒梗了，總之就是那樣。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwz3AFyYmPF
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYecOYKMc9q
只是想說，誠實不一定是件好事。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWktYYQWxIs
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0SiAz2tbGN
尤其像這種時候。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd2EUwjCy9
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ369Ody45aV
黃月英：「那為什麼人家另外兩個都這麼厲害，你什麼都不會？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHiulfdd4Dq
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7i1tfYjhQL
哼，要是讓我學個四五年，我就打到他們叫媽媽。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYGv6Evd9l
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGpb5kW52X
我：「那只是我們鑽研的方向不一樣。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ2G2UtC4hR
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrJYnoFWvtx
黃月英：「那你是鑽研哪個方向？」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91ghaShGKs
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwFtGGXZsa
房中術。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBxmLYEonZ
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzjHITYTpab
我要是說出來，大概會直接被黃月英殺死。51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHNoq3nlBhj
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoDuSbHmeM
我：「這很神秘、不好說，說出來妳會怕，所以還是別說了。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcl81kbPK21
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRZqsQuVETA
黃月英：「你就承認吧。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlcTZvXGIL
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXsiKE7px8
我：「對不起，我是廢物。」51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUq9HUqwzVn
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡULtiUNy4FH
黃月英：「乖，老大保護你。」 51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Fykf7Pen1
51Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoG3iajZiY
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