我老婆是黃月英──諸葛亮的秘密日記。
作者:
南翁
南翁
篇 #21
第二集：遊龍戲鳳。第五章：動彈不得的我和野蠻的山老大女友。（１）
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當我再次睜開眼睛，只看見一片木板。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wBr609yrI
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我裸著上身，躺在一張床上。雖然是從暈倒中醒過來，口乾舌燥、還有點意識不清楚，但我的腦袋還有搞清處狀況的能力。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡixbBauVfNT
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我轉頭往左旁邊一看，空蕩蕩的房間，是我沒有看過的地方。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBr4Q9w0ig
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不意外旁邊一個人都沒有，黃月英本來就不是那種會照顧我到在床邊睡著的類型。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXbNkUNfql
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這種不意外，雖然是不意外，但意外地有一股淡淡的空虛。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3MMrEc44xg
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也罷。我試著坐起身，這時卻發現自己右邊的上半身完全沒有知覺，大概是因為傷勢……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE8cvqN2cnG
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等等。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9HjWqM6WI
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雖然我右邊肩膀也有傷，但我記得傷得比較重的是左肩膀啊。我看了下左邊肩膀的繃帶，還有隱隱作痛的感覺，證明我沒有記錯。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3jMqOBwFmP
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我轉向右邊。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHy9cOvKyZ
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「你醒了啊。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuGuZb80IO
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我虛弱的魂魄嚇到差點升天。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDYDprrCxr
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我：「我說妳，一大清早的不要這樣嚇人啊。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4A9lormnK0
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黃月英：「現在好像是晚上了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKl0m3vZWM
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我這才注意到身邊是灰暗一片。原來我已經睡這麼久了。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvJXNqu8cjO
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黃月英躺在我的右手上──大概就是我的右半身失去失去知覺的原因──伸了個懶腰，一臉剛睡醒的樣子，說：「可惡，腰酸背痛的。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbZw8IMjU7
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喂、喂，這裡還有個重傷患，可不可以先顧慮一下我的身體？妳這樣直接拿傷患的右手臂當成枕頭是怎麼回事？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0vJeVcj7ap
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算了，跟她討論這些簡直就是對牛彈琴，我單純的說：「我的右手麻掉了，妳可不可以起來一下？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1hOhdtICT
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黃月英輕呼了聲，彈起身：「抱歉，實在太累，不小心就睡著了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvUdjKLRScK
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原來妳還知道要不好意思啊，真是偉大的發現。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXHiOaiXMj
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黃月英：「你那是什麼表情啊，還不是為了照顧你才這樣睡著的，你一下血流不止一下又發燒一下又狂流汗，沒看過這麼難照顧的人。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEFlV4QVsm
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謝謝妳。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yUvm50Zdl
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真的。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0a9ekwnub8
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但我只是說：「妳確定不是想趁機偷吃我豆腐，然後不小心睡著了？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQz43EOUwD7
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黃月英避開我的眼神：「你想太多了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLeAfFLLRyC
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我笑了下。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXnGLFSYrhD
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空虛的感覺一掃而空。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKvcwIQe65
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黃月英越過我，下了床，說：「看你還這麼有精神，應該是沒事了。不過你還是先不要亂動，乖乖躺著，不然傷口裂開就不好了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxo46qHlcX
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我：「先拿一點水來吧。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOF3aTCNqCk
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黃月英：「我正要拿呢。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwI51yfUO5l
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黃月英說要拿，卻是對著外頭突然一喊：「喂！給我拿點水進來。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5WhbU2j0z
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我：「妳是在對誰……」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5B1ZB71keU
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「是！老大，已經準備好了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3f50NEyLNl
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啊？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtxwIszPKgz
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老大？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu6rDiUwxGG
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兩名男子這時開門走進來，一人端著水盆、一人提著水壺，恭恭敬敬地拿到黃月英面前。這兩名男子一臉兇惡，臉上各自帶有刀疤，穿著獸皮背心、短皮褲，毛髮濃密、尤其胸前的胸毛多得有點嚇人，看起來像是一輩子活在山裡的野人。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC3rmz1cJQi
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黃月英卻是理所當然地使喚那兩人：「放著就行了。叫大夫去把藥煮好，對了，叫廚房的人煮一些粥，跟藥一起端過來。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFki0Lepn9
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兩名男子異口同聲：「是！」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOxEA77LVL
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「把門關上。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiXgJiriC9a
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「是！」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV1LE6qdBZi
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黃月英回頭。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAlm1jRR1Gc
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我的表情一定很奇怪。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoNZxzfIA5
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黃月英：「怎麼了？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnbdh3aYoMN
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怎麼了？她問我怎麼了？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Pf4gZdqmD
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我：「那是怎麼回事？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaFNNm3bSSH
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黃月英：「喔，這個說來話長。就是不知不覺間變成一群山賊的老大。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIV79V148Vh
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山老大啊！果然是山老大！我從一開始就預言她絕對是個當山老大的料！44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJ5lGWIGc8
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我：「稍微解釋一下吧。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNh2nfaimL3
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黃月英拿著水壺硬是灌了我一口、用毛巾沾水給我擦了擦臉，然後才說：「你還是先休息吧。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIoIHuNNqp
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最好是還休息的下去。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2b0PPOJ9i2
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我：「就當給我講床邊故事吧。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlL70Isjocx
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黃月英：「這麼愛撒嬌，真可愛呢。『柔柔弱弱的，一定很溫柔』，難怪『有人』這麼喜歡你。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkdl2ZHGfN
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故意不說就是要用這個戲謔我對不對？是不是？一定是這樣！44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U1cFlDfCI
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黃月英坐到床邊：「好啦，不開玩笑了，你不要生氣，生氣的話傷口會更難癒合的。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvhuvsE6qvB
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我沒有應聲。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JtIGVyNpY
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黃月英只是笑笑，逕自解釋：「那時候你暈倒了，我種算鬆一口氣。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡECEXmUfTjG
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我：「喂。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IPUnTFoZc
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黃月英：「開玩笑、開玩笑。運輸隊才進入山裡，就遇上一群山賊，隊員放棄貨物，紛紛鳥獸散。我發覺不對，從車裡出來，卻被那群山賊給包圍。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAeiU8yBv2U
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我：「妳沒事吧？有沒有哪裡受傷？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CnUJzpr0Y
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黃月英：「又擔心我了，好可愛喔。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8JQArUfMm
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妳夠了喔，一個梗不要用這麼多次！44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBArOxw3ANF
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黃月英：「放心，我沒有事。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2oYzq5SZR
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那我開始擔心那些山賊了。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjgOf5uXEMb
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黃月英：「我當然不可能束手就擒，而是用力地教訓了他們一頓。他們的老大被我打成豬頭，所以那些山賊莫名其妙就把我當成新的老大，然後把我們帶來這裡。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6QFReVlY6g
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果然。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlzoTXJYaCC
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這時，外頭傳來聲音：「老大！藥來了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzajaBNRrq
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黃月英：「好，進來吧。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgLb459T18
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一名山賊端著藥和稀飯進來，交給黃月英，接著問道：「老大！還有沒有別的吩咐？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHU9moLBcC
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我：「不要加驚嘆號。（給我小聲一點）」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNxC46Y97l
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山賊：「是。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv85kw8GaM
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嗯。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojwBgNBKtF
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「夫人，還有沒有別的吩咐？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡINLmG2Nk9s
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……44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkMRGQZQOH
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黃月英笑得快崩潰了：「哈哈哈哈哈，沒、沒你的事了，哈哈，下去吧，哈哈哈、哈哈哈……」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BGZFIZdpv
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我白了她一眼：「妳玩夠了沒有？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTIkUxQZ0g
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黃月英：「先前那麼緊張，一定要先放鬆一下嘛，我也是為你好。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1eDl2ZXQbJ
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只有妳放鬆了，我一點都沒有放鬆。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaZK0XroQ1I
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「不要這麼嚴肅嘛，先吃點東西墊肚子，才可以喝藥。」黃月英端著起粥，用湯匙勺起一口粥。「來，張嘴。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rq6PDcP7R
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我總覺得哪裡怪怪的。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvkoiQtgfSS
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她是不是太活潑了一點？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2wlrWm4ACp
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我：「有發生什麼好事情嗎？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDn3wqFkbmV
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黃月英：「有人睡著的時候，一直喊人家的名字。哎呀，喊到人家都不好意思了呢。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡySQHY7137U
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我剛剛什麼都沒有聽到。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuqMV27BGi9
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黃月英：「呵呵，乖，張嘴，要好好吃東西才行。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfpvZMwa6l
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我閉著嘴，順便閉起眼睛。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbCODwgG6Fp
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黃月英：「所以，某人騙我、七夕不回來陪我過節、還不知道怎麼脫光別人衣服的事情，我就不計較了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirA6v8HWeT
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我乖乖張嘴。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZjZO8UDQYX
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原來她還是在記仇，難怪一直整我。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA4kmoZVXa
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我吃了一口，吞下，說：「我自己來就行了，這樣好奇怪。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC9x5aGohf
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黃月英沉默了一下。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbil9cxQtEk
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將碗端給我。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCSiHBu9gd
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我：「還是你餵我吧。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQizgnVfaWe
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畢竟我兩隻手都動不了了。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLDKHNbqiGQ
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黃月英一口一口餵我粥，說著：「對了，順便跟你說一下，新野鎖城了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSqidivk1y
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這是順便的程度嗎？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBVtx89Cjh
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYwRuiDZB8
黃月英：「傳過來的消息，是說新野城裡的劉備軍隊突襲了關羽在外面駐紮的軍隊。關羽大怒，全軍進入備戰，包圍新野。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBnpFIUPLN
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFhTEfhiWP
我想起了那時看到的「劉」字軍旗。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnbxV8QcwD
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7kSDrSkNM
卻沒有辦法相信。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50X90j0h99
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtGw7VnX9S
黃月英：「你也覺得不可能吧。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdAKfOjyUV
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iye2WGS2p
那天晚上新野的氣氛歡騰，軍隊都在維持治安，並沒有任何戰爭的準備。這樣主動發起突襲，如果關羽直接反攻，勝敗立刻分曉。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFlLjwf4y8
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4jtrBq6vYp
我：「有人在挑撥兩邊發起戰事。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc5ZSBjGash
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFReaB2659S
黃月英：「肯定是的。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxUCpDJb3u0
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKBt3IWcMVU
我：「是誰會幹這種事？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKFOlDeuqEM
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvzbgSL1wq5
黃月英看著我。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkeqkQqDHL
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYE1ppEx5t
我：「怎麼？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD0nAEq2cBz
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwF3woIlTx
黃月英：「還要我說？你應該最清楚啊。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmJvez79nPj
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM4zSDd6NVF
我：「我為什麼會知道？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXcJD5fcWtg
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkFBPYeHIyi
黃月英：「『小亮』，你以前到底有多風流啊？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvG18IbtPbO
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHd4iKQGbso
曹燁。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOJ6vmOAF4z
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqVOskxxdT
我：「確實是，她的可能性最高。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5AEClO6Fm
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpNFdtSuKz
黃月英：「就只有這樣？你沒有別的想說嗎？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUOC7AbK5nw
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf8EnOoBEI8
我：「不然呢？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIepOAQHmKw
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5cANamDSj
黃月英：「她就在我面前親你，你不該解釋一下跟她是什麼關係嗎？你想要一直讓我耿耿於懷嗎？你要讓我一直誤會下去嗎？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTw7Q7kl5J
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmiFwC41QG
妳自己都知道是誤會了還要問！44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhP9rTLK83d
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYLSu0FOh4H
我不知道該怎麼解釋。諸葛亮跟曹燁的關係，應該是同時在左慈門下拜師學藝，依左慈訓練我的方式來看，訓練諸葛亮、曹燁、周瑜應該都是集訓式的管理，所以這三人在那其間應該都住在一起。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtSXWLa1xj
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6OySonZJjh
諸葛亮這個大色狼怎麼可能會放過就在身邊的美女曹燁？44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFzDePtXKZN
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJssAqt4sGd
或許黃月英只是想騙自己是個誤會。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmstisAdjF
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJPgQ6ioNG
我：「我跟她以前一起學藝，除了她之外還有另一個人。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sUGgBGTTB
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeu5NBvPJz4
黃月英：「另外一個人是誰？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhOx6P8h1C
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXETINEkjQg
我：「周瑜，字公瑾。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sXlJCbiHL
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsiii0eajRM
黃月英：「美周郎？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9mkuhlbaP
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXq8NxYur6m
我：「就是他。因為只有三個同學，所以感情都不錯，只是這樣而已。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11FFox47jJ
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnZ8bEJJIiO
黃月英：「真的就只有這樣？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzoCIlR5233
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoSzHfdSiS
我：「當然是真的。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxCqOkYzmp
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4sHrDuOmav
就像我帶學妹──對不起，我沒梗了，總之就是那樣。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPT6KAfywi0
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ilc3gDDmM
只是想說，誠實不一定是件好事。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjTLpuxnvf
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjxs0SHzYk
尤其像這種時候。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNrphvKIfBH
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm7o5ZAzdbX
黃月英：「那為什麼人家另外兩個都這麼厲害，你什麼都不會？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFwFxjMpH5U
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyiL0rysXy
哼，要是讓我學個四五年，我就打到他們叫媽媽。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4QiXiDBRlb
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuFZlFNfJx
我：「那只是我們鑽研的方向不一樣。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzkeL04Zu9Z
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡes5oZzaJ6G
黃月英：「那你是鑽研哪個方向？」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8XToCmAei
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51iyrA6DFY
房中術。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPzCXeaSEU
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjAz8AOPXp
我要是說出來，大概會直接被黃月英殺死。44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpd0D84YWG
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcgEubDuPO
我：「這很神秘、不好說，說出來妳會怕，所以還是別說了。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTSvjkf5bC
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJi9LRApgDI
黃月英：「你就承認吧。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7XXdvi2zOT
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHnYctgj4P
我：「對不起，我是廢物。」44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivcBp5Y1eA
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8RzKhhITM
黃月英：「乖，老大保護你。」 44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvSYMX2KrXp
44Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7mDMdSPlKl
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