我老婆是黃月英──諸葛亮的秘密日記。
作者:
南翁
南翁
篇 #13
第二集：遊龍戲鳳。第二章：賭博時千萬不要想這個是最後一把。（２）
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而且我還看見一個機會。她看起來挺好套話的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yuTnOsUTK
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我：「真的可以嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzXWZUP5isP
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關銀屏：「當然是真的。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaxCoAhKjuP
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我：「那真是太感謝妳了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBPIF3vYry
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關銀屏笑了下，卻又突然落寞，說：「不用謝我，你會變成這樣，我也要負一些責任。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb3U4FfOFOG
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啊？那妳懷孕了我是不是也要跟妳老公道歉？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMb4gO2EHwX
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我：「跟妳沒有關係吧？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0fccvDjNIU
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關銀屏：「唉，我父親擅自離開，肯定給新野的百姓造成很大的困擾吧。要是我能勸他回心轉意就好了、如果我是個男人……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oYGDxo3hP
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我想了一下，雖然我知道她父親是誰，但我還是得裝作不知道她父親是誰才行：「你父親是？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpldYePGiA4
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關銀屏：「真是抱歉，我比較少拋頭露面，所以你可能沒看過我。我父親名諱上關下羽，字雲長，你既然住在新野，應該知道吧。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qCTdozCpg
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然後我還得裝作不知道劉備死了、關羽離開：「關將軍？聽說他與玄德公前往荊襄之地，回程途中另有要事離開沒有回新野，難不成發生什麼事嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JxveRfjVI
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關銀屏輕輕驚呼一聲，猶豫了下，開口：「看樣子，新野的百姓都還不知道這件事吧，但我不知道能不能說……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEboeLmJizd
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我當然是這樣說：「大人不需要勉強。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2PULlA4Gsl
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關銀屏沉吟了一下，開口：「還是讓你了解一下情況，等等你比較好回答。事情是這樣的，玄德大人在前些日子過世了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaIBZMoJAH
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我更得裝出驚訝之樣：「什麼？怎麼可能？怎麼死的？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEp0gGjgATD
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關銀屏：「你先別問，讓我說完。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1oL7p5YAaH
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我點點頭。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUccH2KVi4
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關銀屏：「玄德大人死後，父親與其他大臣吵了起來，分道揚鑣。父親卻是帶著我們四處招兵買馬。我們本來帶著五千兵力，糧草已顯不足，這些日子卻又緊急招了三千新兵，若再不思對策，糧草恐怕撐不過七天。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjbXDGf0Cnp
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難道是招三千個可憐的男人晚上服侍他？我如果答應進去當兵，該不會也要「個別審查」吧？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7bq77YZVA5
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我先不去想那些，問道：「關羽將軍想攻擊新野嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YPNUCpDQM
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關銀屏：「父親大人並沒有下命令，我也不清楚他在想什麼。我曾試著去問過，但我父親他、他對女性很敏感，只要我一靠近，他就會全身發癢、起紅疹，有一次還休克，差一點就丟了性命。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuws0uTJT6c
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這是「過敏」吧？我還是第一次聽到有人對女人過敏的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKVGKLGsl0W
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關銀屏嘆道：「所以，我有事要跟父親說，都只敢遠遠地喊。雖然父親對我很好，我有什麼要求幾乎都會答應，但還是越來越疏遠了……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmMzotc8Akq
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關銀屏停下那個話題，話鋒一轉：「父親有什麼想法，都會跟我大哥討論，所以他應該會知道。但是大哥是個很嚴肅的人，和我們幾個弟妹都不太說話，我也不太敢問他。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlcP1ySJvZQ
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我：「連一點消息都沒有透漏嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAGYJyloZ6
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關銀屏：「我只知道不可能會立刻攻打，要先在此處紮營。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLz31fClPZY
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看來，只能從關羽或是關平身上下手了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVQARdzBmr5
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忽然間，地表傳來隱隱震動。我往東方看去，一陣煙塵沖天，大隊人馬正往這裡過來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYhm4lx9xf
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關銀屏起身，道：「我父親到了，他對外人、下屬都很客氣。你只好好回答，我再替你說話，他不會拒絕我的。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ouqjgZv0E
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我：「麻煩你了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYhwnO6P6ZR
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關銀屏不再說話，只是點點頭。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIdCM9ecBE
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有一馬當先，往我們的方向快速移動。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ065CdxpnM1
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一匹鮮紅寶馬，一個巨人身影，一柄九尺長刀。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJlEHlyOJYs
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武聖，關羽雲長。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5roGcw2XrI
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關羽來到我們兩個面前。他的外貌，除了沒有一般印象中的大紅臉而是普通的黃種人臉龐，都與小貝形容的、現代印象中的差不多，唯一不同的，是我親眼見到他時他帶給我的壓迫感。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO9TMFFyAcZ
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關羽一雙眼睛炯炯有神，一舉一動如巨靈神般擾動天地，只是單純地騎在馬上，讓我感覺背上突然多了一個一百公斤的枷鎖。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuk9nXvYbNj
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果然是百聞不如一見，任何可笑傳言都在見面的一瞬間破滅。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYGkRROpI4
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關銀屏走上前：「父親大人……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVzTsBE8MkJ
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「等等，不、不要過來。」那個巨靈神摔下馬，感覺像極了飆車耍狠的小屁孩遇上拿槍的黑道，在地上用爬的。「我不是說過不要靠近我嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkHAHzuULEg
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嗯。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoYvha2fDfv
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這樣打我的臉，我還能說什麼？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeUeiNS3ypo
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關銀屏退得遠遠的，大聲喊道：「抱歉，父親大人。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ld8YFKwKw
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關羽這才起身，穩了穩身子，收斂神情，問道：「現在是什麼情況？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmEFHr95TA
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關銀屏：「大哥前去新野城內查探，安國、維之在附近巡邏。我們在來時看到此人，他說是從新野城逃出來的，但大哥認為他可能是曹操派來的奸細，要我綁住他，聽候您的發落。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjkBVIfV8CX
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「知道了，妳先退開些，讓我問他。」關羽好像還是很怕關銀屏，等到關銀屏又退開兩步，才走到我面前。「你叫什麼名字？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQs81Adc7Sc
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我其實已經想很多更好的名字，但已經騙了關銀屏，這時不能自打嘴巴，只好硬著頭皮說：「朱哥。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJ8Vd3Bc47
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關羽皺眉。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOBKFlG9Zc
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我感覺他好像要砍我了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtqx8Puv40
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幸好關羽只是繼續問：「我問你，新野城裡的狀況怎麼樣？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCGYFvWtxxC
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我盡量保持音量，讓聲音只有我跟關羽能聽到：「一切還算安好，只是簡雍、麋竺兩位大人帶人搬離了原來的住處，後來只有看見一個女人會出入。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo7LcXTAWKh
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關羽：「這樣啊，應該是小貝吧……還有嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCuyCA2uQzF
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我：「小人只是聽說過一些流言，不知道其真實性。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgKTnQspaBQ
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關羽：「快說。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeDtbm0roz
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我：「也不知道是因為什麼事情，只是聽說簡雍大人和麋竺大人正吵得不可開交呢。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHkEqzIcGt
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關羽：「他們兩個還在吵啊，真是傻子。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZGzoxwJpt
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我：「我知道的就這麼多了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYIJfKOi8g
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關羽點點頭：「看來你確實是新野的居民。小兒多有得罪，請多包涵。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWi5tgkWgSU
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這關羽果然如關銀屏所說，對外人相當客氣，這對我來說方便許多。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdeDnmo9RiX
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我：「小人賤命一條，大人無須抱歉。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JOu87aRTn
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關羽：「你無處可去？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9hO85yIhCE
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我故作沉吟：「這個……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ZwMAjVFSB
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關羽：「那你就留下吧，我總覺得好像在哪裡見過你……這就是一見如故吧，哈哈哈，我就收你當我的部下怎麼樣？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdguDYTCa5K
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等等。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHeqjuA2Ig
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我怎麼突然覺得屁股涼涼的？50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPW3S5Hiy1
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我連忙用求救的眼神看向關銀屏。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLv51D8qHx7
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關銀屏跑上前，道：「父親大人！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiLKK5Osmr
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關羽嚇得連連倒退：「什麼事？妳先不要靠過來！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6gMlB1P066
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關銀屏：「我的貼身侍衛前幾天離隊了，我這邊還缺一個人，可以讓他到我這邊來嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LUBUVZHEE
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關羽：「這、這樣啊，好，可以，妳就自己帶他熟習一下──不要再靠過來──我先過去整隊了！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdcSNwKqTm
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關羽說完，騎上無奈的赤兔馬，落荒而逃。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJHeKdSUa9F
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令我不禁莞爾。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WwVZsCShY
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關銀屏也笑了：「我父親很有趣吧？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl9TrEPGofB
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那也要加上妳在旁邊才會有趣啊。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPjQuFztwe
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我：「我可是嚇了一身冷汗。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMiMF7rjpB
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關銀屏：「那你最好跟緊我。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4uOOb5YvMh
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那是肯定要的。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLw2pOGvCpx
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正如關銀屏所言，關羽帶領的軍隊開始在台地上紮營。所有的軍營都下紮了，看起來是有長期抗戰的打算，不必擔心短時間內會發起戰爭。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsayzF2Dr14
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我跟著關銀屏，幫忙將營地紮好。關銀屏有自己的一個專屬帳篷，卻沒有比較貼身的侍女之類，只有一個男性的近身護衛，加上我則是兩個。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKCLNqZjV2
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關銀屏給我介紹另一名護衛：「朱哥，這位是旺來；旺來，這是新來的朱哥。你們要好好相處喔。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIn6PPTTSKu
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我看了一下這位旺來老兄。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCgWFKapWk
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我：「妳在跟我開玩笑嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oPgfrvHcl
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「開玩笑？沒有啊。」關銀屏蹲下。「旺來，打聲招呼啊。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6oHQX10tM
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旺來很開心地跟我打招呼：「汪！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM8GgcVDBNE
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgl0lVIkZ5
是的，那是隻狗，一隻有我半個人高的土黃色老狗。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqrxNOIZFs
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXWHKGO8eK
關銀屏：「那我進去換件衣服，你們就先在門外替我守著。如果我沒有喊你們，絕對不準進來，知道嗎？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkAUf0LKUFl
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaq9xDi1n3Q
我：「知道了。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNjhU34uBw
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAJUJ63dAR
旺來：「汪！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOA4QgJgEf
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeh94qjI9h
關銀屏進入營帳中。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzhq255wGOS
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHle46OJS0G
「旺來老兄，請多多指教了。」我說著，一邊蹲下，想摸摸旺來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuV0SR6EBy2
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYs9E8bWcF
誰知那旺來竟然不給面子，移開身子，反應簡直像個人似地，頭一撇、鼻孔一出氣，完全不把我放在眼裡。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8xyRgOuIt
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzKWEruli43
我：「你這傢伙還真精明啊，竟然還會裝模作樣？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWSIxxNWCK5
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL7mnTidLw8
旺來轉過頭面對我，趾高氣昂地舉起手甩了甩，竟是要我閃到一邊去。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE5ZD5ZlRaS
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQD8rEeAASl
媽的，真的連狗都比我囂張啊。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3kT04Ielqp
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2ujlnLkhk
我不理它，站起身。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoh9KkbW4OE
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyuGZwdxCk
這時，旁邊卻突然有一大群士兵圍上來。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07kJdRct46
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVHaJLtuvoe
我：「你們幹什麼？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlgPm0tdqd
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1CBpBKO5en
「幹什麼？當然是來偷窺啊。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJJSFkXkRq
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu68zrA8t8h
「關小姐人長得漂亮、個性又好，真是我們的女神啊。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRfpeHcx0kN
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3JHlal1bf
「只要能和關小姐說上幾句話，我就算死也甘願啊。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0L7g3i43n8
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlGJnnhXEqF
這群色狗。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1z4ugZyhR2
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NZjByHyHu
我：「小心旺來會……」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUPkKYjpKdj
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyU85k8UKyX
會流著口水一起偷看。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpcduCnp9M
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgN3yfQxV7
這隻才是真正的色狗。只親近女人是吧？我看我跟這隻色狗是相處不好了。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTx3yZbbfga
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD9Q0IURG7
我也轉頭看了下。我可不是自己想看，不是、真的不是、絕對不是，我只是想要看看他們在看什麼。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡko75H4hDz7
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但我什麼都看不到。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnOZT1TrYvm
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJP8uTBUZk
我：「你們好歹也晚上再來看吧，至少能看到一點剪影什麼的。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NyHUm9lOX
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lWeqCFxDa
眾人用看著白癡的眼神看著我。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3c689pT3kF
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0BTsz8YAoa
我無法理解：「怎、怎麼了？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMYfn7i9SRv
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBEnD6zWgY
「要靠想像、想像！」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBIyk1j2w2
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡezfdM9d0FI
「你也太傻了，要是晚上輪得到我們，還需要在這邊乾瞪眼？」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaauoo6k5V
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEZFkT8HiYD
「唉，別說了，要是能幫關小姐燒洗澡水，我就算死也甘願啊。」50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr2c2kXSlQe
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUy5zAZ8Dnb
我只能無言以對。50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVCeJsNqqFb
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwidvlnYdTE
還有，我說過，同一個梗不要用兩次！50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZ3Exhu9i4
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiL1elr74H
眾人似乎被我打擾了興致，這時一哄而散。 50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ14j2JtsrKL
50Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtHb28BsW4k
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