我老婆是黃月英──諸葛亮的秘密日記。
作者:
南翁
南翁
篇 #13
第二集：遊龍戲鳳。第二章：賭博時千萬不要想這個是最後一把。（２）
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而且我還看見一個機會。她看起來挺好套話的。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62QTurW7YA
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我：「真的可以嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtE02cTgxLm
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關銀屏：「當然是真的。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzsQcdc1Ol
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我：「那真是太感謝妳了。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DgTjwQKh4
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關銀屏笑了下，卻又突然落寞，說：「不用謝我，你會變成這樣，我也要負一些責任。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7nGrmI7aFt
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啊？那妳懷孕了我是不是也要跟妳老公道歉？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4FVImTtBE
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我：「跟妳沒有關係吧？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSZfTICYge2
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關銀屏：「唉，我父親擅自離開，肯定給新野的百姓造成很大的困擾吧。要是我能勸他回心轉意就好了、如果我是個男人……」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXex3Ela6L
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我想了一下，雖然我知道她父親是誰，但我還是得裝作不知道她父親是誰才行：「你父親是？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4FwBQTpIML
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關銀屏：「真是抱歉，我比較少拋頭露面，所以你可能沒看過我。我父親名諱上關下羽，字雲長，你既然住在新野，應該知道吧。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6a3CA1jzzO
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然後我還得裝作不知道劉備死了、關羽離開：「關將軍？聽說他與玄德公前往荊襄之地，回程途中另有要事離開沒有回新野，難不成發生什麼事嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkoN2jEQqZ
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關銀屏輕輕驚呼一聲，猶豫了下，開口：「看樣子，新野的百姓都還不知道這件事吧，但我不知道能不能說……」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4zRhXK4pUW
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我當然是這樣說：「大人不需要勉強。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDliXb3bR2
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關銀屏沉吟了一下，開口：「還是讓你了解一下情況，等等你比較好回答。事情是這樣的，玄德大人在前些日子過世了。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIogSzuv46X
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我更得裝出驚訝之樣：「什麼？怎麼可能？怎麼死的？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsqV5Hg1zjI
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關銀屏：「你先別問，讓我說完。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW7SrdXF5D7
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我點點頭。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2NqSP9pqkq
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關銀屏：「玄德大人死後，父親與其他大臣吵了起來，分道揚鑣。父親卻是帶著我們四處招兵買馬。我們本來帶著五千兵力，糧草已顯不足，這些日子卻又緊急招了三千新兵，若再不思對策，糧草恐怕撐不過七天。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFnwsydxC0Y
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難道是招三千個可憐的男人晚上服侍他？我如果答應進去當兵，該不會也要「個別審查」吧？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvrJlegaDD
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我先不去想那些，問道：「關羽將軍想攻擊新野嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqiZKe6Ozr
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關銀屏：「父親大人並沒有下命令，我也不清楚他在想什麼。我曾試著去問過，但我父親他、他對女性很敏感，只要我一靠近，他就會全身發癢、起紅疹，有一次還休克，差一點就丟了性命。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPum916QbVV
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這是「過敏」吧？我還是第一次聽到有人對女人過敏的。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yxngrojzj
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關銀屏嘆道：「所以，我有事要跟父親說，都只敢遠遠地喊。雖然父親對我很好，我有什麼要求幾乎都會答應，但還是越來越疏遠了……」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1143YJdcM
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關銀屏停下那個話題，話鋒一轉：「父親有什麼想法，都會跟我大哥討論，所以他應該會知道。但是大哥是個很嚴肅的人，和我們幾個弟妹都不太說話，我也不太敢問他。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7a3Px6EFX
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我：「連一點消息都沒有透漏嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡChon4btvQr
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關銀屏：「我只知道不可能會立刻攻打，要先在此處紮營。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KmlaPx2ho
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看來，只能從關羽或是關平身上下手了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfiNwmBuiSr
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忽然間，地表傳來隱隱震動。我往東方看去，一陣煙塵沖天，大隊人馬正往這裡過來。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTMhRLH5kt5
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關銀屏起身，道：「我父親到了，他對外人、下屬都很客氣。你只好好回答，我再替你說話，他不會拒絕我的。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZItY9fQR6T
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我：「麻煩你了。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUx756Ya0pd
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關銀屏不再說話，只是點點頭。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWdeqxsRx9
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有一馬當先，往我們的方向快速移動。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjFOfRV6J0K
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一匹鮮紅寶馬，一個巨人身影，一柄九尺長刀。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCrl9qebcUQ
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武聖，關羽雲長。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYUZKppDoE
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關羽來到我們兩個面前。他的外貌，除了沒有一般印象中的大紅臉而是普通的黃種人臉龐，都與小貝形容的、現代印象中的差不多，唯一不同的，是我親眼見到他時他帶給我的壓迫感。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlj9SxTehc
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關羽一雙眼睛炯炯有神，一舉一動如巨靈神般擾動天地，只是單純地騎在馬上，讓我感覺背上突然多了一個一百公斤的枷鎖。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3BT4ZDeYBU
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果然是百聞不如一見，任何可笑傳言都在見面的一瞬間破滅。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB8vHdSPWnE
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關銀屏走上前：「父親大人……」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1z780DamB
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「等等，不、不要過來。」那個巨靈神摔下馬，感覺像極了飆車耍狠的小屁孩遇上拿槍的黑道，在地上用爬的。「我不是說過不要靠近我嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC6Bw3OqN82
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嗯。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdFCE1oxxz
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這樣打我的臉，我還能說什麼？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaRwBH6miW
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關銀屏退得遠遠的，大聲喊道：「抱歉，父親大人。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37S5xicq6p
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關羽這才起身，穩了穩身子，收斂神情，問道：「現在是什麼情況？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBHw6mdQvk
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關銀屏：「大哥前去新野城內查探，安國、維之在附近巡邏。我們在來時看到此人，他說是從新野城逃出來的，但大哥認為他可能是曹操派來的奸細，要我綁住他，聽候您的發落。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxBk1eA14h
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「知道了，妳先退開些，讓我問他。」關羽好像還是很怕關銀屏，等到關銀屏又退開兩步，才走到我面前。「你叫什麼名字？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE24AhgC2JL
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我其實已經想很多更好的名字，但已經騙了關銀屏，這時不能自打嘴巴，只好硬著頭皮說：「朱哥。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz7zlJBBYtU
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關羽皺眉。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoGISBS04k
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我感覺他好像要砍我了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrS7bZI6pjx
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幸好關羽只是繼續問：「我問你，新野城裡的狀況怎麼樣？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmCs2GIeOY
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我盡量保持音量，讓聲音只有我跟關羽能聽到：「一切還算安好，只是簡雍、麋竺兩位大人帶人搬離了原來的住處，後來只有看見一個女人會出入。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8CJg6hHwsG
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關羽：「這樣啊，應該是小貝吧……還有嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwzXgkgrNpb
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我：「小人只是聽說過一些流言，不知道其真實性。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwxHsTBepUl
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關羽：「快說。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlvTYPuynP
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我：「也不知道是因為什麼事情，只是聽說簡雍大人和麋竺大人正吵得不可開交呢。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18X6NrILXQ
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關羽：「他們兩個還在吵啊，真是傻子。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeQeFT4L2vV
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我：「我知道的就這麼多了。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p1SmhIelw
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關羽點點頭：「看來你確實是新野的居民。小兒多有得罪，請多包涵。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtWYEOJOUP
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這關羽果然如關銀屏所說，對外人相當客氣，這對我來說方便許多。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkBtRKUmgg
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我：「小人賤命一條，大人無須抱歉。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8NDtyLicV
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關羽：「你無處可去？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡagBAYXpJOr
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我故作沉吟：「這個……」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUxSa443If3
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關羽：「那你就留下吧，我總覺得好像在哪裡見過你……這就是一見如故吧，哈哈哈，我就收你當我的部下怎麼樣？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIeqqhmQq8
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等等。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOu0olIJOr
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我怎麼突然覺得屁股涼涼的？40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlEaqMgG7Fz
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我連忙用求救的眼神看向關銀屏。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjq3xkxqnX
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關銀屏跑上前，道：「父親大人！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78T3jQqdgo
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關羽嚇得連連倒退：「什麼事？妳先不要靠過來！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOXhrbKvndR
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關銀屏：「我的貼身侍衛前幾天離隊了，我這邊還缺一個人，可以讓他到我這邊來嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv3l4brdapk
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關羽：「這、這樣啊，好，可以，妳就自己帶他熟習一下──不要再靠過來──我先過去整隊了！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfVQM5n79w
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關羽說完，騎上無奈的赤兔馬，落荒而逃。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqYvYwtn0rX
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令我不禁莞爾。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRQSP8OhEJ8
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關銀屏也笑了：「我父親很有趣吧？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZHngRCmM3
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那也要加上妳在旁邊才會有趣啊。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgX0fOg4f3y
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我：「我可是嚇了一身冷汗。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNR96fD7kcp
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關銀屏：「那你最好跟緊我。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCHxkGPdfji
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那是肯定要的。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Byf9oJOt7
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正如關銀屏所言，關羽帶領的軍隊開始在台地上紮營。所有的軍營都下紮了，看起來是有長期抗戰的打算，不必擔心短時間內會發起戰爭。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3KwK4w7Ci
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我跟著關銀屏，幫忙將營地紮好。關銀屏有自己的一個專屬帳篷，卻沒有比較貼身的侍女之類，只有一個男性的近身護衛，加上我則是兩個。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtIQLcVCVyn
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關銀屏給我介紹另一名護衛：「朱哥，這位是旺來；旺來，這是新來的朱哥。你們要好好相處喔。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBdJezqoyT
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我看了一下這位旺來老兄。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZjYZ9Evzb
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我：「妳在跟我開玩笑嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1hRLEAqy8N
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「開玩笑？沒有啊。」關銀屏蹲下。「旺來，打聲招呼啊。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqwOS532fVy
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旺來很開心地跟我打招呼：「汪！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAt6qMzAugb
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHqMF7NL9N
是的，那是隻狗，一隻有我半個人高的土黃色老狗。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI75fgQkN6m
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVuuCKUM1z
關銀屏：「那我進去換件衣服，你們就先在門外替我守著。如果我沒有喊你們，絕對不準進來，知道嗎？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtLo3xUswW
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvgAAPm6LGk
我：「知道了。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCfj8m6ogLY
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45CRLqUb8N
旺來：「汪！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0F8AeXSqR
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡosC8jEOrng
關銀屏進入營帳中。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi851S1Nyav
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgPa3KGbEu
「旺來老兄，請多多指教了。」我說著，一邊蹲下，想摸摸旺來。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJXPRwSnrl
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WHmmWadYt
誰知那旺來竟然不給面子，移開身子，反應簡直像個人似地，頭一撇、鼻孔一出氣，完全不把我放在眼裡。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyemmaTRsQI
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfwZky0rHZ
我：「你這傢伙還真精明啊，竟然還會裝模作樣？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ60aRDzlo3G
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNnSdowVfQ
旺來轉過頭面對我，趾高氣昂地舉起手甩了甩，竟是要我閃到一邊去。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfcVDMihJ0r
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwff22izMT
媽的，真的連狗都比我囂張啊。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2GMMEWgjT
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCj15f9plCQ
我不理它，站起身。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO5JL2RIus3
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCtHzpLcVV
這時，旁邊卻突然有一大群士兵圍上來。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcIuBTme2gK
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGFUsUPwCA
我：「你們幹什麼？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTPBe16Kf1
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoV6vxEuSA
「幹什麼？當然是來偷窺啊。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZUrBDp2YVb
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcUcJv2oQp
「關小姐人長得漂亮、個性又好，真是我們的女神啊。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRuY0wyB0yf
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqLGk660pkc
「只要能和關小姐說上幾句話，我就算死也甘願啊。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzZRZGzLII
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYoeNqzytch
這群色狗。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmwbMWLASvm
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrp0R5s3VmI
我：「小心旺來會……」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZHl3mg0GL
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3WrYTPAq4
會流著口水一起偷看。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEnWbwLOoAp
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnSAabgoJt
這隻才是真正的色狗。只親近女人是吧？我看我跟這隻色狗是相處不好了。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJppGaBkiRJ
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvcqvjzgam
我也轉頭看了下。我可不是自己想看，不是、真的不是、絕對不是，我只是想要看看他們在看什麼。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QB17mMdsg
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6Sx7454gI
但我什麼都看不到。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4fNTNmQBa
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoW8NbAOUS
我：「你們好歹也晚上再來看吧，至少能看到一點剪影什麼的。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBaAPLUycAG
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPDDqEYzvzZ
眾人用看著白癡的眼神看著我。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsMPdrpFy7v
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxP7zONwXWk
我無法理解：「怎、怎麼了？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfAXsfBM9O
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0Ijbl6BEO
「要靠想像、想像！」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQa8HNjlIv
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIg3mv007yI
「你也太傻了，要是晚上輪得到我們，還需要在這邊乾瞪眼？」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvwrnE2G4G
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡteg8zSvfSp
「唉，別說了，要是能幫關小姐燒洗澡水，我就算死也甘願啊。」40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRovoMBtOap
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcUrig7jBi
我只能無言以對。40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDU5ImazOMY
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyoIr0AiHi5
還有，我說過，同一個梗不要用兩次！40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdg05WhQdY
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡac5oy9SiZU
眾人似乎被我打擾了興致，這時一哄而散。 40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu1knhDr698
40Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9e8If6udwN
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