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《躺平神仙》 - 70.千年神木 | Penana
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《躺平神仙》
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《躺平神仙》
ISSUE #70
Author: 萌鼠
《躺平神仙》
Author: 萌鼠
ISSUE #70
70.千年神木
No Plagiarism!UP3R851RntuaB8dAf1fZposted on PＥNAＮＡ

桃花島的空地上，冬梅和仙界女王正在填土。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGfREv8SUEJ

當土壤蓋上瞬間，那片地緩緩顫抖。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUv7FYd9uLl

原先埋嚴金漱的地方，冒出一顆參天大樹。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BHJ3GPVcm

樹葉金燦，那是顆紋理優美的金榆木。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0GLtpLxqU

榆樹正面，有一道斜切開來的傷口，佔樹表三分之一，不斷流出鮮血般的金色樹脂，樹體隱約朝切口處傾斜，彷彿隨時會倒，病秧秧的。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzpdZG4w1w

冬梅見狀，立刻跑到榆樹傾斜處，化為一顆銀色梅樹，用相反力道支持它。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHnBAlCwgi

沒想到嚴金漱的真身是金榆，冬梅是銀梅。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoszZzN3iDu

百聞不如一見，它們是真正意義上的夫妻樹。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLrE3Q6uFF

「如果能直接變成樹，他為何叫老婆埋他？」位在神府觀察仙鏡的孝情，突破盲點問。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEXXFJPthN

「五哥應該是……沒力氣扎根，才會這麼說。」嚴正寶解釋。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfI6M49btPS

此刻，仙鏡那端的桃花島上，仙界女王望著女兒攙扶女婿，神情既欣慰且憂傷。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6TUH0rlHld

她掏出一瓶仙藥，打開，走向金榆木，逕自倒在它傷口上，榆樹吃痛，樹干登時一陣抽搐，樹葉發出求饒般的沙沙聲，仙界女王才住手。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUue8S14zkS

「對不起，」仙界女王對受傷的榆樹說：

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFsjUMM4ZG

「雖然很痛，但是為了讓你好，必須上藥。」

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXupGrZMz7r

沙沙沙！聽到安慰，榆樹依然痛得吱吱響。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiJk90uyOOY

「……我最近剛好收穫，一些神界才有的神橘，聽說只能擺三天，想不想吃？」仙界女王發出哄孩子般的溫語，悄悄湊近金榆木說。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaLXrlOGA7

仙鏡另端，孝情望著眼前熟悉的一幕咋舌。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5s9qRbMMhY

面對女王的利誘，且不提她之前上當多少次……

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡviCnv5bvDi

金榆樹聞言，葉子瞬間放光，似乎頗感興趣。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfAe4aZziQx

完，它已上當！孝情目睹新的受害……受益者。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoyCl7jEmV

仙界女王霎那從乾坤袋裡，掏出五百罐仙藥。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ghwbo24Sa

嘶！面對排山倒海襲來的藥罐，榆樹枝椏一顫。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAO9LFQR7wC

從醫多年，他還沒見過這麼大陣仗。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKh5TudmhWj

女王「咔」地打開藥蓋，轉瞬對準金榆木傷口，倒空仙藥，樹傷以極快速度癒合。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk06VZRkjAG

「儘管聰明如五哥，他還是……被坑了。」風水輪流轉，此時婚禮被笑的財神，盯著恢復為榆樹真身的嚴金漱，破涕為笑。

326Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyW6ScU0ZMb

仙鏡裡，唯有幽怨沙沙聲，迴盪在桃花仙島……

216.73.216.179

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《躺平神仙》
Comedy
Mythology
Parody
Last updated: Apr 23, 2026
Total word count: 58,880
Total reading time: 196 Minutes
Writer:
萌鼠
原創 短篇 架空 搞笑 喜劇 插畫 不定期更新 神仙 沙雕文
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