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《躺平神仙》 - 55.被壓扁了 | Penana
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《躺平神仙》
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《躺平神仙》
ISSUE #55
Author: 萌鼠
《躺平神仙》
Author: 萌鼠
ISSUE #55
55.被壓扁了
No Plagiarism!UzccezJTjhxpjPP3YEilposted on PＥNAＮＡ

「咕咕！」伴隨神府外一聲慘叫，劃破寧靜。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLPx1Yzi56

「是小白的聲音！」孝情察覺異狀，奪門而出，她剛出神府就撞見小白倒在路邊，玉兒望著小白扁平的身體，無助哭泣。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtG0VXXPNFe

「小白被壓扁了？」孝情試著尋找兇手，直到她發覺四周空空如也，唯有一隻玉兒。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3xd10re69

此時，某個畫面閃過她腦海，從前玉兒還只有一粒玉米大小的時候，就習慣爬到小白背上。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPhwhYYj5E3

看著胖嘟嘟，大如豚鼠的綠毛肥鼠，真相水落石出，孝情抱起小白，拔足狂奔。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3To0mmYWiA

她跑到城門前的醫攤排隊。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ86YbzRaQJ7

「小白還有救嗎？」當沒人時，孝情抱著軟乎乎的扁雞，遞到榆生面前。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssvrP6r9wV

「……」只見他真的伸出手，在雞爪上量測小白的脈搏，隨後從袖子抽出一張紙書寫藥方。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkbDvs9JN7C

紙上寫：

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24gYxSvEh6

人參一根、紅棗三粒、糯米半斤……

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSp6H0r1SZe

她果然沒找錯神，小白這回肯定能妙手回春！

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmAFnaJ6Nrw

紙上又寫：

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGoiB0HEzA

薑少許、 蒜一顆、鹽一勺……

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxYjllPSSb

等等，鹽一勺是什麼意思？

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOvrHDQXqK

孝情還沒反應過來，就見醫神最後寫下：

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCKK5uUZ1qu

燉煮，人蔘鷄湯如果好喝記得分我一份。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8xODdLBUY1

「嗄？」

「別懷疑，就是這個意思。」她大腦空白，走出醫攤，被隨後追上的朝笙無情點醒。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuOOHIPlD80

「嗚嗚……玉兒，知道你都做了什麼嗎？」孝情看向在她腳邊一派無辜的大倉鼠，欲哭無淚。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJawB7layG5

「牠好可憐……」孝情抬頭，猛然撞到一堵牆。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvKQv0aJzE

欸，是一個人，她看見朝笙退後。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVlU45zt9X

「何人敢擋本大爺的路！」當她發現是嚴呂時，孝情的內心只有一個字，逃！

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPmDtC8zkay

嗚嗚嗚那是一個神格分裂的神吶！

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWen6HWI9J

等他以後繼承神王，她還不得完蛋！

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ66S5arQFGB

孝情抱著小白轉身就跑，下秒絆倒。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKeolaO3z6V

「你沒事吧？」倒到一半的孝情被嚴呂拉住。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lOnDFoe0I

「嗚嗚嗚……如果我把小白給您，之前我冒犯您的部分能不能一筆勾銷？」她站穩後，邊哭邊把扁了的小白和「雞湯文」塞給嚴呂，轉身帶玉兒跑路。

363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhfEjFWOeoT

「欸，可以……不是，你有冒犯過我嗎？」嚴呂被孝情這一波莫名奇妙操作整矇了。

216.73.216.184

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《躺平神仙》
Comedy
Mythology
Parody
Last updated: Apr 23, 2026
Total word count: 58,880
Total reading time: 196 Minutes
Writer:
萌鼠
原創 短篇 架空 搞笑 喜劇 插畫 不定期更新 神仙 沙雕文
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