The day of dread arrived. My mind was made up after Summer's advice and I decided to head over to the hospital Friday evening to meet with Gio.
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Once I arrived I texted him that I was waiting for him in the main lobby. He came out of the elevator after a few minutes.
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"Thanks for coming." He moved in for a hug. His eyes were low and pink lining surrounded his water line indicating he'd been crying for a while and probably hasn't slept. I didn't say anything to him, I just allowed him to hug me for as long as he needed until he felt comfortable enough to let go. Once we parted he cleared his throat not looking directly at me but at his feet walking towards the room his sister was in. I followed close behind him until we reached a large brown door.
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I felt my palms and forehead moistening with sweat and my anxiety rising. The white walls and cold atmosphere brought me back to last year. My breathing hitched a bit once we approached the door and I felt the air around me getting thinner making it slightly harder to breathe. Gio turned around before opening the knob of the door in front of us. "You okay?" He asked me as I visibly started to feel panicked. "Yeah I just need a second." He patted my back walking into the room. Before closing the door he spoke. "Come in when you're ready."
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I released a shaky breath and wiped my palms as I began pacing the hall. I grabbed my phone and pressed the only number I knew to call while feeling this way.
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"Hello?" A groggy voice sounded from the other end.
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"Sorry, did I wake you up?" I said apologetically.
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"No you're fine. Is everything okay?" I heard shuffling in the background. It sounded like she was moving to a different room because her voice began to echo.
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"Yes, I just needed to hear your voice."
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There was a silence between us while I tapped my foot calming my nerves.
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"Are you okay?"
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"Yeah, I'm at the hospital."
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"Visiting your friend's sister right?"
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"Yeah."
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"I'm glad you ended up going. I'm proud of you." Words I haven't heard spoken to me in a long while lingered in my ear.
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"That means a lot."
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"Y'know I never got to apologize to you."
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"What for?"
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"I feel like I abandoned you. After that kiss, I kind of disappeared on you when I feel like we could've just had a conversation."
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"No, you were right what I did was wrong. I shouldn't have acted so stupidly and ruined things between us like that."
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"Still, I'm sorry."
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"You have nothing to be sorry for but if 'I forgive you' is what you need to hear, I do."
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I heard a door slam on her side of the phone, followed by a series of muffled noises I couldn't quite make out. "I have to go," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "Good luck." Then, the call disconnected.
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I glanced at my phone after our conversation wondering what cut it short but moved past it. I finally felt okay enough to go inside and check on Gracie. I entered the room slowly allowed the squeaky hinges on the door to fill the room. Gracie looked over at me and flashed me a weak smile. She had a pink and white hat covering her head and the color of her skin was pale and faded. She looked fragile, but held herself up and seemed to carry positive energy. I'd only met her a handful of times but she was always bubbly and sweet.
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"Hi Tommy!"
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"Hi Gracie, I like your hat."
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"Thank you." She gave a meek smile and a small hint of color rose to her cheeks. "I'm so glad you came I got you something."
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"You did?"
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"Mhmm." She eagerly brought out a gift bag from her bedside. She placed it on the bed and patted next to her inviting me to sit with her. I looked over at Gio sitting in the lounge chair silently watching us. I laid next to Gracie carefully and placed the gift on my lap digging my hands into the tissue paper.
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I lifted the top of a small leather box and a silver necklace with a heart sat on the cushion surface.
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"Gracie you didn't have to get me anything."
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"I know but I wanted to. To be completely honest, I've had a massive crush on you since we met and didn't know how to tell you without feeling embarrassed. I figured there was no better time to tell you than right now."
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"Well, I didn't bring you anything, now I feel horrible."
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"Don't worry, I don't want anything. Besides, I'm tired of receiving flowers." She pointed to the other corner of the room to a table filled up with an assortment of flowers and other gift bags. We talked for another hour before a nurse came in to tell us that visiting hours were over.
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"Bye Gracie." I gave her a final hug.
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"Thank you for coming, it means a lot that you were here today."
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"I'll always be here for you if you need me." She pulled away from our hug holding my face.
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"Promise me you won't wait to do anything."
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I let myself process her words. "I promise." My voice wavered as I let them sink in.
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I left the hospital room leaving Gio alone with her so they could have a moment alone. Once he came out we walked out together in complete silence. We separated once we got to the parking lot and the silence weighed heavy on me. I sat in my car for a minute, unsure, but something inside told me it was time to see my mom. It felt like the right thing to do.
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"Hey mom."
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There was an emptiness in the silence with my voice echoing through the dark. The snow had covered most of the stone her name was etched on but I brushed most of it off. I talked to my mom for another couple of hours before my phone rang.
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"Hello?"
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"Hi babe, where are you?"
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"I'm on my way back home."
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"I thought you were with Gio."
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"I was."
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"Gio said you left two hours ago."
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"I'm visiting my mom."
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"Oh. Well i'm at your house because I thought you were home already."
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"I'm coming."
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I hung up and inhaled the crisp air before releasing a sigh of frustration. I said my last words to my mom before driving back home.
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