說說你的近況244Please respect copyright.PENANAWtttFk3xTW
兩三年來的生活244Please respect copyright.PENANA3KjVetF1FM
是否符合期望244Please respect copyright.PENANAImAGA2Z73s
該寬心了吧244Please respect copyright.PENANAeJeUStfDzb
當時我年少輕狂244Please respect copyright.PENANAaVSTJ55clL
現在不提也罷244Please respect copyright.PENANAl7U6Lo0SO5
還是晚睡嗎244Please respect copyright.PENANA954tA2Tpjd
作息該調整了吧244Please respect copyright.PENANAfMV48AhtYR
健康該顧一下244Please respect copyright.PENANADyofH3ruBk
你會想我嗎244Please respect copyright.PENANAaC5BRZgrHS
(倘若沒人在身旁)244Please respect copyright.PENANAqTsZ7ZGU9y
244Please respect copyright.PENANAMkS9mov3TY
(昨日冠冕堂皇)244Please respect copyright.PENANAi8knYgKtjY
不敢說我變多內斂244Please respect copyright.PENANAKHgBG7lvo4
(今日就嫌傻)244Please respect copyright.PENANABf95v6syQL
但稍微也穩重了些244Please respect copyright.PENANAd72JIlkRYz
(酒意習慣日常)244Please respect copyright.PENANAUjfFOcQDUq
醉的時間變多了點244Please respect copyright.PENANAlREBG7ueFZ
244Please respect copyright.PENANAstrS2dKuuW
(豁達眷戀一樣)244Please respect copyright.PENANApuiax8Dkzl
我是真的自私了點244Please respect copyright.PENANAKT7mGqj1Fa
(回憶總嫌髒)244Please respect copyright.PENANAzQfNg8aPTG
現在也是稍嫌後悔244Please respect copyright.PENANArSOUJl72t7
(歌也還是照唱)244Please respect copyright.PENANAVOjXsJc44k
只是單純紀錄這些244Please respect copyright.PENANA88vktROJUO
(你會想聽嗎 你)244Please respect copyright.PENANAqoKGLmPy2E
你會想聽嗎244Please respect copyright.PENANACnPMRpMjND
244Please respect copyright.PENANAFFEnKTO21b
值得懷念吧244Please respect copyright.PENANAAcjrPUHOPc
畢竟攢了多少244Please respect copyright.PENANABkkzaLy4Bh
期望以及天亮244Please respect copyright.PENANAz7TIXbbZQy
你習慣了吧244Please respect copyright.PENANAq58KNYBQ1x
日子不算庸碌244Please respect copyright.PENANAIIXEThpfYR
平淡卻也感傷244Please respect copyright.PENANAj8V34TlzxY
算是過程吧244Please respect copyright.PENANA1GqioAgAes
緣分不解心結244Please respect copyright.PENANAChzQWENzqS
成長屏蔽過往244Please respect copyright.PENANALt6QhxWzU8
像我們一樣244Please respect copyright.PENANAWRQiGFaqGX
故事也已經淪為茶餘飯後的閒話244Please respect copyright.PENANAo5oNGlhJGx
244Please respect copyright.PENANATHqVGD0RO0
(昨日冠冕堂皇)244Please respect copyright.PENANAnvmUKaT9dU
不敢說我變多內斂244Please respect copyright.PENANA3hNcwC5BEY
(今日就嫌傻)244Please respect copyright.PENANAa2KmXAln1e
但稍微也穩重了些244Please respect copyright.PENANApFN1y6mqYZ
(酒意習慣日常)244Please respect copyright.PENANAs5PzHvnGTo
醉的時間變多了點244Please respect copyright.PENANAvrvgNDBVuG
244Please respect copyright.PENANAzuuKqvTp1L
(豁達眷戀一樣)244Please respect copyright.PENANAxp20BiZWCd
我是真的自私了點244Please respect copyright.PENANAlonybeAapw
(回憶總嫌髒)244Please respect copyright.PENANArnGp1hSCnB
現在也是稍嫌後悔244Please respect copyright.PENANAZnkGeJ4HwS
(歌也還是照唱)244Please respect copyright.PENANAyqbL2kXQeA
只是單純紀錄這些244Please respect copyright.PENANAqc1Dh06CTs
(你會想聽嗎 你)244Please respect copyright.PENANAVOUda1ISD3
你會想聽嗎
你知道嗎,有人獲救就會有人犧牲,這才是公平。244Please respect copyright.PENANA8qleTOdCf3
244Please respect copyright.PENANAAypYRVjGMY
我握緊手中的『離婚登記申請書』,走出區役所*[1],搭上4:50的公車。244Please respect copyright.PENANAXosnM6Me8F
公車上我筆記潦草的寫在已經被折的皺巴巴的紙張上,準備去便利店影印相關的證件資料,再買幾瓶酒,再回家。244Please respect copyright.PENANA4PN48nzXeU
244Please respect copyright.PENANAyZizych5aW
「春野學先生,初次見面,這次怎麼來找我諮商?」諮商師坐在正對面的沙發上。244Please respect copyright.PENANAqcAdh0VJPy
「我先看看春野先生的病例……有吸菸……有第二型雙向情緒障礙症*[2]……有在酗酒,有好好服藥嗎?」諮商師低著頭斜眼看著我,我微微點頭回應他。244Please respect copyright.PENANAJlZzjKj1Yp
「我想離婚……」244Please respect copyright.PENANAj4crXJv5KZ
「我可以先問問您妻子是怎麼樣的人嗎?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAmZyTGx3sEY
「她很好,是我……又酗酒……又生病……薪水也不夠提供給她跟孩子更好的生活條件……」我顫顫巍巍的說著,事實就是我每天逃避跟妻子感情的問題加班到9點,薪水還不夠繳孩子們的補習費,跟同事關係也處不好,一回家就是喝酒,睡覺,再接著上班,然後不斷地吃藥。244Please respect copyright.PENANAbVe84Y4Qgx
雖然離婚的想法自私了點,現在也是稍嫌後悔。244Please respect copyright.PENANAgVTtGZNNOu
「與其離婚,不如我們先戒酒跟治療一陣子,春野先生現在處於鬱期有負面想法是正常的。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAX78k6VtSrX
「但酒……」244Please respect copyright.PENANAid1VdVMRfz
「一開始,人喝酒,再接著,酒再喝酒,到後面酒喝人,不可怕嗎?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAQZ53JfFtSR
「不,他是解藥。能把所有的煩惱擦乾淨。」我篤定的說道。244Please respect copyright.PENANAXS6ordaQBl
「煩惱是可以通過其他方式解決的。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAaO5CVuwXQB
「我努力了,給予了,但總會有幾張飢餓的嘴,這些嘴會吃人,吃掉人的每時每刻,這是會讓人生病的,而只有酒,才是解藥。」我目前生活中最重要的是酒,其次是酒,第三第四第五也還是酒。244Please respect copyright.PENANAs6TAk0CIo9
「您再繼續喝酒,病情會更惡化。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAQdYiUj8vbJ
「我一直以來都在所有人面前展現最好的一面,而為此努力著,而家庭與工作……」我情緒激動了一點。244Please respect copyright.PENANAQnzLQcodez
「春野先生,請冷靜,我們就當聊天,好嗎?」我微微點頭回應他。244Please respect copyright.PENANA1A0YssRSqo
「春野先生之所以酗酒是因為工作壓力導致的嗎?」我又以點頭回應。244Please respect copyright.PENANASFHKWkuUVt
「請問春野先生需要工作到幾點?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAQphk4yW6Cc
「9點。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAxsLYBK711k
「這樣啊,都沒時間陪家人呢。那薪水夠負擔家庭的開銷嗎?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAyF2Y1rVxee
「很緊繃。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAlNCsISgRsh
「那我想問春野先生是做什麼類型的工作?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAOwM7qwSEq6
「藥物研究……」244Please respect copyright.PENANAvElM2oCCsK
「那請問春野先生的妻子有在工作嗎,還是在家帶小孩?」244Please respect copyright.PENANA11S101fnJo
「在家。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAudg9HTJQsm
「這樣啊,春野先生,我們時間差不多了,我這邊向您建議每兩週做一次認知行為治療,就像剛才這樣的對談,還請您每天寫日記讓我們確認療效與您每日情緒的變化,我們會慢慢導正你的負面想法;我也會請醫師開戒酒的輔助藥物給您。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAY8znGIlmIi
「好。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAOnMf6Bx8uZ
「離婚的事還請您再好好考慮,您還有孩子呢,那就下次見。」244Please respect copyright.PENANA4DhNkpY83j
244Please respect copyright.PENANAg2yzAzjZlU
有希子拿著裝著離婚協議書的信封夾,氣沖沖的走向剛回到家的那個男人面前,質問到。244Please respect copyright.PENANALomjtJ2JPG
「這是什麼?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAIyFXczRDCO
「離婚協議書。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAhVTv9BWNqg
「為什麼有這個,為什麼你還簽了字?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAQeWSaxijxO
「當初我想離婚,但現在想考慮。」我有點不解她到底在生氣什麼。244Please respect copyright.PENANAg5twUnygQm
「還在考慮?那小孩怎麼辦?」她甚至氣到哭出來,不,應該是因為我想離婚吧。244Please respect copyright.PENANAyqNemx686s
「我每天工作到那麼晚,就只有回家睡覺,隔天還要努力工作,妳以為我工作壓力不大嗎,我不想多跟孩子們相處嗎?」我情緒也激動起來。244Please respect copyright.PENANAEpyHyn75pI
「那為什麼要離婚?」她的聲音帶著哭腔。244Please respect copyright.PENANApthmfpIrmB
「我自從結婚後對妳的感情就越來越淡,生活只剩下工作,那不是生活那只是毫無意義地慘淡的活著。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAP6zaqcpcyC
「那就讓我也去工作啊,幫忙分擔家用啊。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAOxMI66dGXG
孩子們在門後細碎的聲音傳來,應該是在偷聽父母吵架。244Please respect copyright.PENANA5QQ52RIC29
「重點不是這個,是我對妳的感情變了,沒有愛情了,沒有愛情的婚姻只能是偽物。」說穿了就是體驗不到當初戀愛的感覺。
櫻花落下的速度是每秒5公分,正如人心在道別的那一瞬間,以每秒五公分的速度慢慢拉遠,長期累積下來,將會走到彼此都看不見的遙遠。244Please respect copyright.PENANArUQ8ZpM739
「偽物只要有想成為真物的意志,就能變的比真物更有價值,那不是沒有愛情,而是變成親情了,你認為哪個比較容易讓你依靠。」她說的話像一記重擊,讓我一時語塞。244Please respect copyright.PENANAfGdrGOy3T2
「我們在待在一起好嗎,不要離開我……」她看到沈默的我,哭著懇求。244Please respect copyright.PENANAG3w9hNic5U
面對這樣的她,我只好壓抑情緒。244Please respect copyright.PENANAZVw7DtG7yl
「我們改天一起去諮商好嗎?」我開口問到,我也想再試試看。244Please respect copyright.PENANAPVPy7Wyz1B
244Please respect copyright.PENANAttDXGaS0Fo
『雖然晚上大吵一架,但我跟有希子還是睡在同一張床上,婚姻真是神奇。244Please respect copyright.PENANADlDSDiBg7U
仔細想想我是滿滿的發掘我們間的情感改變了,是我不適應這種改變,還是我單純不愛她了?244Please respect copyright.PENANANsQFvu6kZQ
從愛情到親情,對我的情感波動也太不靈敏了。244Please respect copyright.PENANAuzbHGUVFnF
我能適應這種感情嗎,我喜歡這種感情嗎?244Please respect copyright.PENANA2L5BTOC3IA
我喜歡恵(めくみ)和梢(こず)嗎?244Please respect copyright.PENANAVOp3T5MWCk
我喜歡她們,這代表我喜歡親情嗎?244Please respect copyright.PENANA9KHBS7Rezb
這樣不就代表我只是不適應感情的轉變嗎?244Please respect copyright.PENANAKnsX76SY1V
其他夫妻也是經歷這樣的轉變到白頭偕老嗎?244Please respect copyright.PENANApTwtLHIk9x
婚姻這種東西真是神奇。』244Please respect copyright.PENANAoEtrzLUvXw
——依照諮商師指示寫的日記。244Please respect copyright.PENANAUnQx88hNWX
244Please respect copyright.PENANANwnxlCQJ0r
「初次見面,春野小姐*[3],春野先生,您這次是來做婚姻諮商跟認知行為治療對嗎?」我又是以點頭回應。244Please respect copyright.PENANApJCy4ypEPQ
總覺得這個諮商師的笑容背後帶有別的含義。244Please respect copyright.PENANAlgMsMZRUnB
「春野先生,能借我看您最近的日記嗎?」244Please respect copyright.PENANADEMgTDlE91
他簡單地翻閱。244Please respect copyright.PENANAGk8xAmROib
「春野先生能簡單描述2/24吵架的內容嗎?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAA4IbxE799l
「就是離婚協議書被發現,跟我們之間的感情好像變成親情一樣的陪伴感。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAE44dvQUKcS
「嗯嗯——很多來婚姻諮商的都有提到呢,我想請問春野小姐,您平時與春野先生肢體接觸多嗎?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAW8j5wUttQi
「不多……」有希子是那種遇到初次見面的人會緊張的類型,這樣的她意外的可愛。244Please respect copyright.PENANApyPk1egIEG
「那性行為的頻率大概是多久?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAIu779TZnkx
「已經有半年沒有……」這個問題連我都忍不住害臊。244Please respect copyright.PENANAwaJM51h6kh
「是因為春野先生工作的關係嗎?」有希子也用點頭回應。244Please respect copyright.PENANAPylTPMdash
「這邊我想問春野先生工作……上次說是到晚上9點,那可以提早,不,應該說能不加班嗎?」244Please respect copyright.PENANASfZg5hwKyK
「可以,但加班費……」244Please respect copyright.PENANAFajHciqUnv
「那諮商師這邊想問春野小姐有想要去工作嗎?兩人都去上班的話經濟開銷會不會比較寬裕,春野先生也不用工作到這麼晚。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAEjkB1Dd3vp
「我有這個想法。」244Please respect copyright.PENANACuISQ14LEB
「那諮商師這邊建議春野小姐也去找一份與春野先生工作時段相近的工作可以一起上班下班,如果是要照顧孩子的問題,有意願送去補習班嗎?」244Please respect copyright.PENANAPboVsk32bQ
「已經有在上補習班了,如果正常下班時間就可以照顧孩子。」梢和恵的補習費總共16萬。244Please respect copyright.PENANAcY0AMuEQaw
「那很好,也建議性行為頻率要提高或肢體接觸的頻率要提高。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAfTv2UAGJFI
「請問這個跟感情有什麼關係?」有希子有點害臊的問。244Please respect copyright.PENANARSRu7hS30o
「兩位有聽過夫妻從新愛上彼此嗎?性行為與肢體接觸也是很重要的一環,還有就是可以寫情書。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAM8XzxvmVzI
「諮商師這邊看到春野先生酗酒問題有明顯改善,而春野小姐寫情書給春野先生也可以鼓勵現在生病的他;春野先生也可以透過寫日記與情書的方式來讓諮商師確認認知行為治療療效。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAq2zllic4JB
「那時間差不多了,春野先生,下次方便的話還請將夫人*[4]一同帶來。」244Please respect copyright.PENANAz1sRDvWsdj
244Please respect copyright.PENANAGGypPEWjY1
『值得懷念吧244Please respect copyright.PENANAOtXeQnRBfA
畢竟攢了多少244Please respect copyright.PENANAO4K88GU88W
期望以及天亮244Please respect copyright.PENANAMqLstVf1RU
妳習慣了吧244Please respect copyright.PENANAvO4JPtFmQi
日子不算庸碌244Please respect copyright.PENANAf4ucuWFu28
平淡卻也感傷244Please respect copyright.PENANAZkMsjRQd5m
算是過程吧244Please respect copyright.PENANA6EBdKLJEzM
緣分不解心結244Please respect copyright.PENANA0vDQPws7uc
成長遮罩過往244Please respect copyright.PENANAe4w63KszE3
像我們一樣244Please respect copyright.PENANA7Z1J7DTAYE
EUREKA *[5]244Please respect copyright.PENANAqab00RuYLi
故事也已經淪為茶餘飯後的閒話244Please respect copyright.PENANAdWtaAo5L1Q
我是真的自私了點244Please respect copyright.PENANAtOMxnKzwQG
現在也稍嫌後悔244Please respect copyright.PENANArImLBDs2eZ
只是單純紀錄這些244Please respect copyright.PENANAkcJVMIcXaY
妳會想聽嗎244Please respect copyright.PENANA6bJ0dMOn8P
』244Please respect copyright.PENANAZVJBqou0hE
244Please respect copyright.PENANAf6ax9eog1Y
*[1]類似台灣區公所244Please respect copyright.PENANAWRjFYa6tf2
*[2]躁鬱症的一種244Please respect copyright.PENANAkoP4A4RO7F
*[3]日本人結婚後女生通常冠夫姓244Please respect copyright.PENANAAvREsBuE1l
*[4]日語寫作「奥さん」意指對方妻子244Please respect copyright.PENANAlf9NiaxPfO
*[5]希臘語「我發現了」
篇名分離と重合(ぶんり と じゅうごう)意思是分離又聚合,我想寫一篇關於夫妻感情由愛情再到親情,由情侶再到伴侶的轉變,雖然我沒結過婚,但是跟前女友(順帶一提我前女友日文名字就叫有希子ゆきこ)真的有熱戀期後感情變淡想要分手(對方)的跡象,也爬過許多文章表示肢體接觸和性行為可以增進情感;因為本科是理科生所以命名跟文章內的些許部分是用化學的名詞;因為最近在學日文所以幾乎所有篇章主角都是以我的日文名字学(まなぶ)命名,女主角都是以有希子(ゆきこ)。
244Please respect copyright.PENANALhXbkyC85b