40Please respect copyright.PENANAvD9BeR3M1K
40Please respect copyright.PENANACgKO7GgE2m
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後,我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin:「行得。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAdXLgkuVeLC
40Please respect copyright.PENANA3vGL3NPONi
「咁耐嘅?」他問。40Please respect copyright.PENANACHwAlFCsMO
40Please respect copyright.PENANAVbOr3vnREO
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說:「不如今日去掃街,肚餓想食啲嘢。」40Please respect copyright.PENANA3qzKVGrHPx
40Please respect copyright.PENANAZait56dgrR
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。40Please respect copyright.PENANAfIeYHHUuN7
40Please respect copyright.PENANAOkstlbrw64
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學,可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。40Please respect copyright.PENANAD8d090V10S
40Please respect copyright.PENANA1OB8YlMUAT
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後,我的心便不再單純。40Please respect copyright.PENANAh6lNSCn91P
40Please respect copyright.PENANAPUJRaw9Jig
我開始思考,難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺?到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡?40Please respect copyright.PENANAIPnyav7GmK
40Please respect copyright.PENANAZotmxq49S1
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。40Please respect copyright.PENANAC4fntU4EA2
40Please respect copyright.PENANA7CqwIBgVHF
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯,能夠和他去掃街真幸運。40Please respect copyright.PENANACxphLKKCLr
40Please respect copyright.PENANA562xfqpeQv
人的想法很微妙,明明沒有事情發生過,我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街,只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。40Please respect copyright.PENANApO4shwf66U
40Please respect copyright.PENANAouJjfKpTjH
想法塑造習慣,習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要,光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話,學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。40Please respect copyright.PENANAExvorGQt6P
40Please respect copyright.PENANAKzcU4WyAYs
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎?生活過於苦悶無新意,對身邊本來平平無奇的東西,從無到有,誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片,內心一陣飄飄然。40Please respect copyright.PENANALsCLACvvBc
40Please respect copyright.PENANA8xRJ28c1OG
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情,還伸手摸摸我的額頭:「你係咪唔舒服?塊面咁紅嘅?」40Please respect copyright.PENANAdlZ19JgVsP
40Please respect copyright.PENANAicAzAG5NCZ
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水,嚇得狂咳。40Please respect copyright.PENANAkeSKmZhq1h
40Please respect copyright.PENANAOYVNzTvDSs
Kelvin拍拍我的背:「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息?」40Please respect copyright.PENANAAPwosNsGhF
40Please respect copyright.PENANA2XOyaJz5rp
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAFKdPdEXUua
40Please respect copyright.PENANAg4tqat8NR7
「咁蠢嘅人都有,你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。40Please respect copyright.PENANAnEWwyXo7Ex
40Please respect copyright.PENANAHzjHxtbBSu
我站在Kelvin旁,一邊吃撈麵,一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。40Please respect copyright.PENANAPNMWrHaHbg
40Please respect copyright.PENANAWhwOfltncD
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。40Please respect copyright.PENANARISJdogMvs
40Please respect copyright.PENANAppgMFDRVaa
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛,會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎?40Please respect copyright.PENANAOKLTxmYVBa
40Please respect copyright.PENANAMSh27eLCCp
如果會,戀愛似乎不錯。40Please respect copyright.PENANA7HtmHGSoxh
40Please respect copyright.PENANAtdfl1mT9nn
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿,韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。40Please respect copyright.PENANAbwysn38zt9
40Please respect copyright.PENANAHtGTHl1hZc
「係咩?我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂,對外國音樂不熟悉。40Please respect copyright.PENANAu1wdKsdYMk
40Please respect copyright.PENANANqyx2kTTLl
「原來佢做龜公,開間酒吧做毒竇,仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段,好痴線。」Kelvin說。40Please respect copyright.PENANAxJAKM2z0r0
40Please respect copyright.PENANAsNWL4V9nyS
「咁癲?佢好似都幾紅。」40Please respect copyright.PENANACtizhUxBuF
40Please respect copyright.PENANAt1XVsxoh6N
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAeAE2mXga5t
40Please respect copyright.PENANAMGuLf5NzGs
「點解咁講?」我問。40Please respect copyright.PENANAiO4KinrYLA
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「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAHNDQZDdXzZ
40Please respect copyright.PENANA9XeZeNM2Yv
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒,仲會唔會同佢做朋友?」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。40Please respect copyright.PENANAR95EFMEEa4
40Please respect copyright.PENANA6eUbvvxSuL
「唔會,我唔會接受。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAVMgtMot1sP
40Please respect copyright.PENANAWmZ8aG5n66
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢?」40Please respect copyright.PENANAqREviXco86
40Please respect copyright.PENANAjhJ8qd7r1W
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說:「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢,等佢唔好誤入歧途。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAwBbO3lJKKV
40Please respect copyright.PENANADNaR7xQhlo
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸,鼓勵他離開黑社會:「屋企人吸毒,唔係朋友本人吸毒,唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」40Please respect copyright.PENANABWEfSI774E
40Please respect copyright.PENANAxxmTlnu9rA
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債,以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他,沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。40Please respect copyright.PENANAwxOvGUFA5K
40Please respect copyright.PENANA652hWDZ0hf
「係好容易呀!如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草,你喺廳都會聞到啦,毒品喺你眼前,又會心郁郁想試。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAYuYKAnpVuI
40Please respect copyright.PENANAfqO8ldCJnW
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩?」40Please respect copyright.PENANAKaIEciBeTi
40Please respect copyright.PENANAIvdSD9OrvW
「阿婆行動不便,點可以相提並論!吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間!你話我歧視都係咁講,同賭錢一樣,無人拎住支槍迫佢,累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算,連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAy3Q1i0Ji5J
40Please respect copyright.PENANAjFpciZMzko
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭,管東管西,而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。40Please respect copyright.PENANApqt4rjBpVj
40Please respect copyright.PENANAPLpNVFXzJ2
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者,也很討厭自己的家庭阿!可是家庭的影響一直都在,它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人,同樣避之則吉。40Please respect copyright.PENANAD8yCUAVA9o
40Please respect copyright.PENANAVWQp1Zgjbf
我寧願沒有開口詢問,沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想,變得更自卑了。40Please respect copyright.PENANAb6r5nKIJOa
40Please respect copyright.PENANAiz2Aqfq5TE
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固,他會隨時離棄我。40Please respect copyright.PENANAK1XXpyWt9V
40Please respect copyright.PENANAYS6JZysXZs
婚姻的承諾都能推翻,更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。40Please respect copyright.PENANAEm3YCxOHfA
40Please respect copyright.PENANA6ItdMqimlS
「點解人係群體動物?點解人要互相來往?」我喃喃自語:「係自私,係計算?兩個人,一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAT3eiGuN9Dq
40Please respect copyright.PENANAOyMwjstYyY
「咁功利,一齊開心唔得咩?」40Please respect copyright.PENANATGUhaieIBc
40Please respect copyright.PENANAwCDPDXiMPv
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好,帶自己去認識朋友;可能係對方博學多才,學業上幫到自己;可能係自己孤單,想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始,互相需要,到咗某一日,唔再幫到大家,就自然分開。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAZwMojcX8Rh
40Please respect copyright.PENANAjnG5DWTGgL
我為未發生的事情擔憂。40Please respect copyright.PENANAHHCrXLZX9C
40Please respect copyright.PENANAyEbgQ15IGM
面對關係看得見的分岔,倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝,無力感擴散。40Please respect copyright.PENANALvCyaKm1Pk
40Please respect copyright.PENANAebbiAESqo1
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感?」40Please respect copyright.PENANAVJfrPJozSM
40Please respect copyright.PENANAmhaDrot8fu
「無呀。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAEgo9Cort7u
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「我知啦,思春期!中二病!」40Please respect copyright.PENANAMTDSyFnxTD
40Please respect copyright.PENANAkqn8o7lvOm
「唔知呀!你話係就係啦。」40Please respect copyright.PENANAQFaLJ6PKd8
40Please respect copyright.PENANAEfEEukdv5u
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。40Please respect copyright.PENANAeu1UBInu4j
40Please respect copyright.PENANAvFxOnCaJDz
難過。40Please respect copyright.PENANAFNcrKJPydd
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負能量者的思考法
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負能量者的思考法
作者:
花小姐
篇 #9
【八、幾句說話 // 徒勞無功的零碎】
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