201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkd2I9ayFIp
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFAMWn0tTJ
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6NvxQL5q4
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2Rns7uNe9
「咁耐嘅？」他問。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF0GMjY6ZL4
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxof0DGZAt
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH2QUX4EJkv
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUFwjEvexUC
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXlwrkna3K
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpgYijXrld
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvQuhQ0afbb
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhMSi8apeF
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52ED73dY77
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡimHqmhfx6v
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qAbhLD5uf
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6dGXcCvODY
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡExSyRe1FXz
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ629zu1a8en
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHdHNFhRS3P
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcsTYJ1TKL1
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG76m1eDaeI
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwcs9MK1gzS
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmr4HGVt32U
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLO5iT1B3Av
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1wmOEAX4E
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS2nDMQ0pZ
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSIwrziwp3a
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcB0Cs3M9F
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXkh0PWmzgK
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9jonZ51fj
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrYfWq9qwwb
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVwq4ET3LBT
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZOU7HC4d3k
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1mU11E0rK
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiMmTEX0hvp
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmANNrAQlU
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNOZnqbT5Ba
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkVTUKcZrH
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡig2jFUjTQ2
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSfxXjlEGQr
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgPXz1GIcw
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUpcVGrHhk
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3cfO4AI4sr
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSoRdZbXkmV
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGhvXMw4wGa
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhkdJ0dmmts
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroF4JOpLBz
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLlbf7Pocq
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFT9IU9nAlB
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5eHIIVxajq
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡowiYhutbCG
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5eRzW9uz3
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55SC2sWAxu
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIrSDAbVJ5w
「點解咁講？」我問。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm3ueGiEIFt
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrDIVaTQNsm
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48ssKNbuS2
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZWG2rsX5x0
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhpxnoMjyRc
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsbgllbxpq
「唔會，我唔會接受。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlTeeP1UzSG
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8obHeHscwh
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJgc3WbXXU
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MbwEU0K4l
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAv5UDAsYc6
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6dOSY6gjR
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCvmdED7PCC
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCUMCyo0r2
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHFYl2F86sH
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1SHB8QwYt
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4q1js7gahc
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyFdh8ay9G6
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSCeWra6PFf
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeSTo65KKD
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQ2ifT6xar
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtOWTpn9WAO
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEqRJvjKCN
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPhAoubbCd
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxrLmflUk4
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgf7bb20hi
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIhPIC8WFJk
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAul3c8kThC
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRKieBaz30
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgWetMYM4O
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1qQzIPXUkg
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPn181UHLK3
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78hSjl724C
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyrc7YYjTw
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQohbiXEg0
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzfC47tibY
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWr1wyNFwmD
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBDMXKkfwK
我為未發生的事情擔憂。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqcT4GZx4Cx
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0oYaqOCay
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxD86H721O2
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJr8eB4S9RV
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA69cqMuxnr
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWnLBIlIrbU
「無呀。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhARBB1xvGO
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkcud3EYQK3
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvMqWRHUl3
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SqxuoVutx
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OTGxXi9Ln
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnkJH8Wgqg0
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcH29Ef4zKE
201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFx8KwDBZkU
難過。201Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqmEQLo5Ap
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