Old friends, new friends.
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Some people say it’s so easy to make friends, but it’s not. You and that friend have ups and downs so it’s not easy at all. You have to find the right one for you and make sure they are by your side when you need them. Your friends come and go, you lose some and make some.
One day I was texting my best friend Bella,
“HIIIAAA.” I said
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“HIIIIIII BSFFFF”, she said back,
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so I thought everything was good. But then she said the six words I hated the most.
“I have to tell you something,” she said.
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“What’s wrong?” I asked, nervously.
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My face started to turn red when I saw the words,
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“We can’t be best friends any more.”
“I love you Lexi,” she said.
“Do you really?” “Why are you ending things if you love me?” I asked, feeling dumb.
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But she didn’t even say anything back. I sat on the floor thinking to myself “Is it really over that easy?”
When she said that I was so lost thinking, “What did I do?” But I didn’t ask, I knew better than to do it, so I tried to move on and not think about her and what happened that day. But I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about her. I felt hot wet stuff fall from my eyes onto my face and more came as I sat there looking at my phone because I just lost someone I cared about so much.
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I didn’t want to let my mom know because I knew how she was. But next thing you know she was walking in my room and saw me sitting on the floor.
“What’s wrong Lexis love?” she asked.
“Nothing,” I said, with my face still wet and red.“Then why are you crying my love?” She said to me, starting to sit down next to me.
“You can tell me, baby. What’s wrong with you?” She said again but all I did was look at her.
She started kissing me all over my face and hugged me so hard it felt like I couldn’t breathe.
“It’s okay Lexis love, you will be okay, love,” she said.
“I love you mom,” I said.
“I love you too, baby,” she said, with a smile on her face.
“Why are you smiling?” I asked her.
“Because you're my big baby and I love you so much, Alexis Marie,” she said, smiling hard at me.
“Mom stopppp, you know I don’t like people calling me by my middle name,” I said to her now smiling.
“Oh well, she said.
“I’m going to take a nap now!” I said to her, smiling again.
“Okay I will see you when you get up, I love you to the moon and back,” she said, kissing my forehead.
“Love you too, mom.” I said cutting the light out.
I got up an hour or two later and saw my dog was in the bed with me. She would always be with me no matter what. Her name is Mercedes but I call her Mercedes-Benz. Everybody thinks that it’s a ugly name for a dog. But I didn’t care as long as I had her with me. She is the cutest dog in my eyes. She was a pitbull that was white, brown and a little black. Her eyes were brown with a little gray in them.
But after I got her off my legs I went to my mom’s room to see what she was doing but she wasn’t in there so I went outside and saw she was out there with the other dogs named Mama’s and Diamond. She was playing with them and looked like she was having fun. Then she saw me and started smiling at me. Then said,
“Hey love,” She said.
“Hi mom,” I said, smiling at her and starting to sit on the grass and play with Diamond.
“How was your nap love?” She asked, starting to sit next to me in the chair.
“It was good. I guess,” I said with a little smile on my face
“Well good,” She said
“Do you want to help me cook lexis love?” she asked with a big smile looking like she wanted me to say yes.
“I guess mom but is my big head dad helping too?” I asked.“No. I told him I wanted you to so he said he will go play basketball with the boy’s,” She said getting up.
“Okayy Good,” I said.
“Welp come on love so we can get started,” she said as she was getting ready to go inside.
I followed her inside as me and her started cooking. After we got done cooking my brother’s and dad came in and we all ate. One thing I knew I could always count on was my mom. She always knows how to make me feel better. She would always say “ I love you honey bunches.” Nobody knew how much I loved my mom. She was my everything.
That’s what happens with friends sometimes. Your old friends would say, “I’m still going to talk to you and I still care about you but I can’t do it anymore. I love you.” But then they don’t talk to you anymore and you feel like you did something wrong. Thinking to yourself, “Why? What did I do wrong?” But all you can do is ask yourself that.
I can remember when I first met Bella. I was only 9-years-old, and we went to Dixie Elementary together. We became friends, and we were always by each other's side no matter what happened. Shewas my everything, and Bella always told me I was her everything too. But now look, we don't even talk any more. It all ended when I was 13-years-old.
I remembered her long brown hair and her eyes were the most pretty brown. It was like a tree type of brown just overall cute. It fit her really well. I never saw something so pretty before, and she always had on pink that always went with her smile. I was happy that I knew her for so long.
I was sad that she left me when I needed her the most. When I say that, I mean she left me when I lost someone in my family, but the thing is she didn’t know about it. That same day she ended things, I was going to tell her, so that's really why I didn’t tell my mom. It was all over so I didn’t feel like I should tell her, so I didn’t.
So that meant we were not friends any more. No more calls from her, no more face time calls, no nothing. I ended up feeling like I did something to her, but I knew I didn’t do anything. I cared about her and even loved her so much, you just don’t know.
That’s what happens with friendships sometimes. Some continue. Some end. It starts over and you find a new friend and forget about your old friend and you're happy again. But unfortunately it happens over and over again until you find the right friend for you. Y’all end up becoming best friends and you and her are happy and stay best friends until y’all grow old together.
So no, not all friends will leave you and forget about you. You can find some real ones, but at the same time, there are still fake people out in the world.
I imagined that Bella and I would end up having kids together. I pictured us having beautiful baby girls together and watching them grow up together, too.
I imagined that we would eventually go through losing our mom and dads together, and we would cry together, showing each other that we loved each other so much.
But the next thing you know, we were both in high school and got new friends. We were both the Queen Bees in school. Walking down the hallways showing all the other girls that we were better than them. They knew not to mess with us. Everyone knew to call us “The Queen Bees”, but they were still smart, pretty, and even funny. We would have on pink that day. Hair down even with our nails done.
I imagined fun everyday and maybe even moving in together. We would be like sisters. When one of us got bullied the other one would do something about it, and we stayed by each other's side forever until we had kids of our own. We’d marry the loves of our lives, find a dream house, and stay close forever and ever until we were old.
But now we have to talk about bad friends. For some crazy reason, bad things happen to the good ones but not the bad ones. They get every good thing in the world to happen to them and it doesn't add up. Sometimes you're just thinking, “How? how is that, why does the good stuff happen to them?” But all you can do is ask yourself that.
It's odd having someone that low-key hates you but acts like they are cool with you. They are just fake to you and just don't act like they care about you. They tell people what you tell them, but you are saying, “Don't tell no one,” but they still do it anyway.
You feel like the world could eat you and just take you away from that but you know it couldn't. It's crazy how someone can do you so wrong for nothing. You loved them, made sure they were good, even spent money on them, and they did you wrong and tried to take the one that you loved the most. But it’s okay. They will get what comes back to them for all the hurt they did to you.
But as time passed I knew better and I even started believing in myself when talking to new people. It didn’t stop me from getting new best friends because I have two new ones named Spencer and Erin. We are doing good, but me and Spencer have our ups and downs, but I still love them so much and nothing can stop us from being together. I hope we can still be together when we grow up.
I now know it’s not easy to make friends, and I learned that the hard way. Now I know it’s not all bad in the world. There's some pretty good people out there. You just have to find them and try to keep them. Love them, care and even tell them how you feel no matter what. If they feel like how you feel is bad they're not for you. But I'm going to end it here. I hope this helped some of yall out on picking friends and finding someone for you.
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The end
Love Alexis,
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and then Add to home screen.