「你還可以嗎？」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwEf9NyTxDt
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUMyjRXVuV
「無法不可以。」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTQjtGyn1N
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaLwHyWMClV
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUdXF0YnBSW
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdXFrHcld2
「謝謝你。」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNt6uBnQtJ
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt55FCsaiOC
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6R4ZrgMoHY
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7VU1Pkb9Va
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoJfFDyaOza
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZhZeBbsVE
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeM1LO2RAM3
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbZv6fnuqel
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAqtoQrUak
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3u7HsM5Oce
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNUtP6aaJBr
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmx2VTWnoO
「老婆……」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJAn0j2khd
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1UMvPoFr7i
「有困難？金錢？」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKDyvLaRcmi
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSRECmVNvX
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvIH3zxwJF
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zovkcmspU
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfmluwkiUP
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBURpfF8UVZ
「嗯。」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqdbxBet1tx
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLojSD4drw
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNbgvYxpFJ
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxV6GyXFHjF
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1T92iqHCv
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbYlFUTwtEk
無能。無力。無奈。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rkKX16JoT
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVicNM5vNq
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrS9yzD3lv
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPzkl8AaDs
剪不斷，理還亂。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaqicR7JHfr
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ658ZXspoZj
勿剪，別理。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCycaYV66v
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YytIq3Chy
待時日將其化解。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡej7CKn7sNX
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA02WtleUV
莫操心。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrhWGsWAz0I
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFC327XAnWt
莫操心？710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhQipBH0zi
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWnEW5bgG4
如何莫操心？710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS8ew4d1pgx
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYBCSFacsDp
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTn5T00BSTE
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWu4XGQJQrR
撐多久？如何撐？710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsungfAdAo9
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDfv2mtZ4n
不知道……710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIziHcVm5a
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvZqibkmYT
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD9tmc8UIHa
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYEqTtoOF9m
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG2fEQZbFhu
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7U6jSFSHv
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8RlKzF6ut
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObX3DzdK9m
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xm6PKBM0C
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuy8HzaAI6
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OvKnc0VWS
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sD2GZoD70
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSgAy8B4ABP
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTl1x1agkad
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfhvwx6MBaP
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpMYei2XD8
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlUjVGNnnqo
我笑。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UEqNIwuqv
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdkvruDqCt
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlKASY15pY9
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelbs2f3iSb
忽爾不想回家。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMTm7lTaCB
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9SEaF74B5
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxOn1fSaAW
「好的。」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ3QQwMsV4f
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh9ZiR7vwKp
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡscvWphz6tg
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPYZ1A1cmJj
只會苦了自己。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtW2Ppa1pt
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBdTfT0jajR
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1lrQDaHDs
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzIoQCdo8cD
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiVINNseOyM
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEKXnXzg51u
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiBtR99YSbC
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV3gDmKKefl
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz5umuaUEhI
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzRkSQxEMDL
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwxPUraexr
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBz3TId5UY
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavcQu9SPaL
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9IsphktzDC
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRoykCeIqD
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMtUfjoWhC
一、二、三、四、五……710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡePKIYwJuew
註：710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡepW7YcSzAx
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzYCX1xJmTg
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRtQ85ZO3vg
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa72EbUMbKB
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJ85CLpJor
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCWm4OHMaG
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtanXN08GW
710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjrS1BfzTfg
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》710Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡciVQ9pEcuV
然後按「加至主畫面」