「你還可以嗎？」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhEj0Oeqhoh
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgWf8o7gIX
「無法不可以。」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiQ7vA237Hf
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH5meibmFX
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJEgK61VMHU
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGPZr48kpW5
「謝謝你。」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsA3k1jD51Z
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjzO70hSeIA
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkoHLwp6RKN
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBnbzCCEYzr
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDpO03lRvG
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPDqsoPEWy
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxSKWZDOTv
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8PDZOHJvyD
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dcILceN4C
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjj0nYILi2
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrCJWUJiYF4
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu0s91VYpl6
「老婆……」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuCvDKCrJi5
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4jFzol3dO
「有困難？金錢？」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQN3nwuw2Q
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMDBM08IXWT
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc8WfbT10I7
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6EEavnxHIT
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sQVIrq9y5
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB07DrbdrpJ
「嗯。」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEo3Xc90Vri
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMVKNYSLfO
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaz0cAwgDcZ
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHCIc6T7CA
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzA2pUD8giJ
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkrpcAi4cz
無能。無力。無奈。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGYDFuTch6
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrcBjKKzdn
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBkstCJ1E8
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwqpF3vVlIl
剪不斷，理還亂。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP07RA7J56T
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDz435EUjr
勿剪，別理。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU56uFn9hNo
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtSdC9yU5O0
待時日將其化解。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTJIr3c1qk
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjD2tfUgLUU
莫操心。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXarxjIpPz9
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJe4Lnow5Hx
莫操心？656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIw4vDF09ge
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8UQPCE77S
如何莫操心？656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9VqAXR4FP
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG5paF0rPMd
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy9DIRIuLun
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiugSae155
撐多久？如何撐？656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhneYEyG5Xk
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX427SeC5zt
不知道……656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo6XfsG0S2X
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAjCPnIsqKT
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8XcoeKOp0k
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oSfXORk5h
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqZLNMMnLEQ
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44q9rNwXPg
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxdoSdvMg0Y
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOSaSPia33P
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdtitAgdoi
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRN91JVR7Of
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LSmPHR7Vh
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrefemYlWV
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bYUFJQGQi
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtgFVJWcU8B
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY52yO5BT0m
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfXF7lsG3jY
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaABeMPE6ON
我笑。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZY4gsY86tP
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhdaCKAQwXl
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeKqqMHxKJu
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5QS4AW1Y9
忽爾不想回家。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgr8RE0u7wP
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpa1TtP12sU
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKbTfkvhOC
「好的。」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlrnw3dWCo4
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDrraiLil7
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOm6wmf0XEI
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe8XpwjKTlm
只會苦了自己。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2miWUqVYtl
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nENiFZnb3
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDu87hPj5O
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0GJRq2pSo5
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT5tjk1Nj2W
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkfj43V691V
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg4l0sAv9bA
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZCr5CGNTlS
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBkXd1YMpyH
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSIdIPGfQe
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yGs2BsHZw
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXnEeN05QF
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvaz72vnRuJ
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ26ZY3Ae1k3
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ738UP8qX6R
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhlpeuMScnY
一、二、三、四、五……656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyVRJfbdetM
註：656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5msohkzL5
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3EjT7AG72h
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC5NWKD841
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfGtHWqNiK2
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8GKh1yOyi
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxTL2y5x3C
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDWRWCmXj1d
656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUCgnrqdo0l
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》656Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVZ7mgl8dNV
然後按「加至主畫面」