「你還可以嗎？」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4MLr8Ej5C
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR7sHi2Ju56
「無法不可以。」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fpfNnvYqe
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNL1jxgXddF
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3qiQOStJe
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX99wWzF7zZ
「謝謝你。」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDstdAKy5Yp
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhVXv7s5zU
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4olr6QhVQ
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYY1xDhwxK
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbowgf6GWXv
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMaK0fdn04S
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOokVx0B8R
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxt2ON4u8bx
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFbpwKMdLA
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsWpYqPrlvO
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIKfOA3FNzb
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcyFwLJAme
「老婆……」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpmuJhuhv4X
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxcnsSTddTu
「有困難？金錢？」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2LJh4tdH2P
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc9EtkZwca6
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡovc9VeUetJ
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv80YUeKrAU
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aAXZwmQBA
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFuwtYvi9j
「嗯。」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfJrvikprPG
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZit0Lx2wJN
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YJmKxYdlU
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp28O8lmXjz
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ZdPiKIzlw
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpmDeAZFkG
無能。無力。無奈。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZFvmGmKMv
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqgWkZEBRm6
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLXBeCIduW
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45OyUptw3k
剪不斷，理還亂。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ58Ozsvbcyj
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgrdXFl52xV
勿剪，別理。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9VIlRLqru
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaEIpifnm84
待時日將其化解。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXE0pAwdR8y
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOLAIPTEY8
莫操心。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH1Eeis7r62
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0Q7Se2s95
莫操心？715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjWlNyNgx54
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHPgPHohmh
如何莫操心？715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFFHegtJTm
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0aRqQh8YCw
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9o6S4ip38
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡObmtetdwKK
撐多久？如何撐？715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5YOO4GSwXd
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VckCEEGhk
不知道……715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOqSiKkMaBE
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBbtkQ5Ihh3
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavSRlrQL6t
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcvObOKgAlc
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3NXs5qrl8G
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCoiogBjKE
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsnKaQqlApo
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbheR41CFyt
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlibwYewc5Z
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS0Zbgb5cUv
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlJXfhl1U3n
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqaYESoap43
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN12nfJuElF
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVBs8rY3WM
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXWsUiUTOmW
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkvd8XuYvQ
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmDzLjxjnDt
我笑。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9zZVEHMesF
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ttibkEnYU
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nBcMs8OUs
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfE7SboYlzC
忽爾不想回家。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZRlHaNVsG
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpvMl07Az0i
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLReyjsmbbK
「好的。」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQl2Ctz5ME
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTICkLcQOh3
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj72Xx99MCR
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKOhFnFL98r
只會苦了自己。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzdCs7KzYU
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zk6RYHnzD
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYEntO6uGg
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡneZttokfCS
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQtRye7SQq
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmB59ywKSE
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKLeRRxf8I3
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyx79yEwWB
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavTzuAeJRY
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXDkDOockiq
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7aEgf1ZDqt
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ90Sogbbrn5
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOo0spa6Nmb
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ1W14IfAv1
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOC7vHqVgO
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr3XVZ0Qwfr
一、二、三、四、五……715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkmKBAvHlnJ
註：715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfEdPOOQjjs
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm9R27GGS5e
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSYgPGz5LBo
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvlZnqKmTJ
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLh5IhJEDIL
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvS0ZMX6U1O
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSwktZdm5Xa
715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9OPf5MVRQ
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》715Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7O7ID96EJf
然後按「加至主畫面」