「你還可以嗎?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAUkNtxU2dEQ
534Please respect copyright.PENANAukH2H2vAkF
「無法不可以。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAxCAAJ4zvLW
534Please respect copyright.PENANAxvFys0VTp9
「如需幫忙,來找我吧。」534Please respect copyright.PENANApSAwFFZ1z7
534Please respect copyright.PENANAlTagbWEsuR
「謝謝你。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAdUncMizvCL
534Please respect copyright.PENANAYATKoWciXZ
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯,概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱,一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙,我除了感激,更多的是恥感。534Please respect copyright.PENANAFbwatmobjN
534Please respect copyright.PENANAzrJ6FiejyN
唉!多講無謂,反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。534Please respect copyright.PENANAlBw4HlbalX
534Please respect copyright.PENANAGqfWPnZM62
疫情關係,全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子,早已節衣縮食,積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著:工作日數減半意味薪金減半。534Please respect copyright.PENANABwyxJnhB4d
534Please respect copyright.PENANABSDLAman4F
供樓開支無法削減,父母醫療開支不能削,孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……534Please respect copyright.PENANAvqE879ktAP
534Please respect copyright.PENANAec6nthjusK
飯後,兩老早睡,兒女溫習,妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。534Please respect copyright.PENANAY9rjzEp4mm
534Please respect copyright.PENANAV2POKi63l6
「老婆……」534Please respect copyright.PENANAgzXE9cVARS
534Please respect copyright.PENANADQAGgcJsZW
「有困難?金錢?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAldAuwdSuUK
534Please respect copyright.PENANAyEadAvQg1C
妻子搶佔發言先機,內心不安的我更覺虛怯。534Please respect copyright.PENANAnOfDsTh6fx
534Please respect copyright.PENANAjOSQJFvkFM
「是。明天開始,只需星期二、四上班。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAOdF1L2Wzcu
534Please respect copyright.PENANAZn4wVLMXwy
「嗯。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAEdFDJEHqvj
534Please respect copyright.PENANARaCT6nxZz7
妻子沒再多話,專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外,卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實,也就只得接受和硬撐,呼天搶地無補於事。534Please respect copyright.PENANAtiXQ8kNzgF
534Please respect copyright.PENANAHnLNUePdub
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。534Please respect copyright.PENANA01QnBjpDs3
534Please respect copyright.PENANAOvgTeMOAv0
無能。無力。無奈。534Please respect copyright.PENANANpc8wUqF4n
534Please respect copyright.PENANAs7ssL6BnF6
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。534Please respect copyright.PENANAlR0bvFuxl1
534Please respect copyright.PENANADkZlMMZKiD
剪不斷,理還亂。534Please respect copyright.PENANAQ7T5mT4WeE
534Please respect copyright.PENANA0ZhVBhniHt
勿剪,別理。534Please respect copyright.PENANAtYDj6Zym3s
534Please respect copyright.PENANAbJTMZwf0FF
待時日將其化解。534Please respect copyright.PENANAJZGKRtPzDW
534Please respect copyright.PENANAWEJwDFvy30
莫操心。534Please respect copyright.PENANA2gGBm7629c
534Please respect copyright.PENANAWTtpWwDq61
莫操心?534Please respect copyright.PENANACAWYY4R5q4
534Please respect copyright.PENANAgOdKwIPJ3b
如何莫操心?534Please respect copyright.PENANA8ANWFknbfj
534Please respect copyright.PENANApbAXeE1Fcd
我知道困境必定會過去,但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。534Please respect copyright.PENANArnKkrTZGXl
534Please respect copyright.PENANAL142z0JYfC
撐多久?如何撐?534Please respect copyright.PENANAQUD3dv5x70
534Please respect copyright.PENANA1g8s0AACbc
不知道……534Please respect copyright.PENANAbZQIxaVltW
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減,辦公室冷清不少。534Please respect copyright.PENANAiZVjFUFrfd
534Please respect copyright.PENANAqFGNVgY5yw
有人若無其事,有人變得寡言,有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何,公司繼續營運,世界繼續運轉。534Please respect copyright.PENANAllL4sPqWAk
534Please respect copyright.PENANAFg930VQOuw
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞,骨瘦如柴,神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物,飢腸轆轆。絕望?誰管你的!天地蒼茫,白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在,北極仍是北極,我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。534Please respect copyright.PENANAG8n6FPeXLv
534Please respect copyright.PENANAq2OgNse1c6
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸,白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯,菜心苦黃,排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧!不了,豉油不是必需品,不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。534Please respect copyright.PENANAllmwPdxFyj
534Please respect copyright.PENANAIg213McKv6
下班時間,加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量,也不代表工作進度可以放慢。534Please respect copyright.PENANAJudQG9nckc
534Please respect copyright.PENANAFLhTr7oocR
每次想及時間、日子,位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼:它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了;它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目,接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來;它在教導我人生大道理,一寸光陰一吋金,吋金難買寸光陰,更何況加班沒有加班費……534Please respect copyright.PENANA1BiqeselKA
534Please respect copyright.PENANAtqYHVX66xl
關機,正式下班。心情太壞,說服不了自己留下來。回首,同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解,但無法奉陪到底。534Please respect copyright.PENANArv3j8xMlps
534Please respect copyright.PENANAT9G5vTHVg7
大街上,人影疏落,商店無燈。車站無人,想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃,在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花,演唱會螢光棒,無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸,床頭小燈,被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控,只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累?是吧。534Please respect copyright.PENANA0ixkxgo7Pp
534Please respect copyright.PENANAWMQQU83MO8
我笑。534Please respect copyright.PENANA3G0Ulm5THO
534Please respect copyright.PENANA2TZ2ezbgy7
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。534Please respect copyright.PENANAIMIVS2mTrN
534Please respect copyright.PENANAV8uwVKzM0y
忽爾不想回家。534Please respect copyright.PENANAhp5AzE9E66
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAUEW6TBNabM
534Please respect copyright.PENANAsrb4eQjkbz
「好的。」534Please respect copyright.PENANApN5Sn4uhko
534Please respect copyright.PENANAYHyoeGpwrt
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵,皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥,微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從?是否只得接受?不順從又如何?不接受又如何?534Please respect copyright.PENANAKvimMQNyex
534Please respect copyright.PENANAhpsBOllPqP
只會苦了自己。534Please respect copyright.PENANAgwD4N8TCoA
534Please respect copyright.PENANA7kbGVOXFRS
努力改變過,極力掙扎過,然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。534Please respect copyright.PENANATqqyA2B7Hr
534Please respect copyright.PENANAygnByH0KYh
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。534Please respect copyright.PENANA0RqD1Fbimk
534Please respect copyright.PENANAO87evyQtJO
浴後,睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著,光源自窗外滲入,剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲,以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子,如怪物,如鬼魅。534Please respect copyright.PENANAz53yFNvj5a
534Please respect copyright.PENANAEUAunxQRgR
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAp7huNqILbl
534Please respect copyright.PENANAEDt2DXTWu2
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」534Please respect copyright.PENANAL9MZEZpmFq
534Please respect copyright.PENANAFJ49fm0OHa
妻子乾笑一聲,側身面窗睡去。534Please respect copyright.PENANAYdgJUKsExr
534Please respect copyright.PENANAzmdrJcKGeP
我實在笑不出口,呆望天花數蟲子。534Please respect copyright.PENANAQbqhjyE6yz
534Please respect copyright.PENANAZyuIGCQhU4
一、二、三、四、五……534Please respect copyright.PENANAHmeuPcYQj3
註:534Please respect copyright.PENANAzdhSxWaNKR
534Please respect copyright.PENANAuf9xVqIDox
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢?」534Please respect copyright.PENANAgb8LpWboHV
534Please respect copyright.PENANAwN2tFhefez
我認為大家除了關於物質上(例如金錢、生活質素)、生理上(例如生命、健康)及心理上(安全感、與親友相聚的快樂)的失去,還有自我認同(例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判)的失去。534Please respect copyright.PENANAMZ44NP8AP0
534Please respect copyright.PENANAzyhGi6U262
未必關乎大是大非,每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓,足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害?誰知道。534Please respect copyright.PENANAmzVeibao2B
534Please respect copyright.PENANAbZfDNiOMXt
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》534Please respect copyright.PENANAGAuYWpXORD