「你還可以嗎？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7m6Rsfdxi
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9mHKEwSeX
「無法不可以。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlBndzb9KC8
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY1QclUchn0
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD73qzF37C
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡca2f0gdImJ
「謝謝你。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48YniHLfKE
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbgp2Xtj1ou
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBnNvHHFSk
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3iBpsKGs7S
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdcKlVo5tO
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd22MifTZqG
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtt4fIUeHi0
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VzDibmJd0
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCA6iNYhAjp
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpxs7tXnH04
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLzPoED3GJ
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaI4n1OPKEx
「老婆……」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvc0eG0tVGV
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNgAZIgXoD1
「有困難？金錢？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUpgaSa1w3g
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJA9eH1E0Qt
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtcJ8iHAnO
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqXUHWgz1m
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrw3d61HVBX
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVNcvaCUtNI
「嗯。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYQ3vgCx1N
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcKJDkOd6y
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7v7dSnG1Kl
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqNqA2rqyE
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCCGs88fUb
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSVQSM6PT9L
無能。無力。無奈。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgvl7nKQhiW
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCOkXeiN0h
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZHSYQ2x6m
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7MluPAMAZe
剪不斷，理還亂。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXoSejllNh3
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlH3yD5NJHL
勿剪，別理。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpCvyp5qUer
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNijb83m6B0
待時日將其化解。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3KN3GvkZWs
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREk3VNx1Mf
莫操心。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTALsUDAPG
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO7vR0B85aK
莫操心？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrev2THllu
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyhQKTIwBuV
如何莫操心？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7v0Mu3A1ZU
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFUUWh25ILy
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ebLJPcCxC
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtJEGSjVCGT
撐多久？如何撐？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7sOdWBrMXW
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGFxsxmz6Jj
不知道……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgXLbmrYsd0
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AdZ0VusRG
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgc4dxpmYt2
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm65TSqhXHD
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZE5jdraW0U
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTX32Mx8uD
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpgAEfnIDZ
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlCaqhvCDKg
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZBe3vDvrj
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9hTyfPuba
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcf5HqkmySQ
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8YljOT7P5h
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCfkGQ3Jks
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpV2xsTCOw4
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nYBWWVXkb
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1neCzK6gnG
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcldXlSaot
我笑。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTL3fm7c3Q
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAX1OzMfpDY
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNg27MOiAkA
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKOui3WkGg
忽爾不想回家。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkyiNERCfDC
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuiSiKxHnx
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcWsXmJrORc
「好的。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVjH8PQdRy
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSdk91lxKLe
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikREdgXz7U
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4wxCAkgmWq
只會苦了自己。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2scV8bhgeH
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX3E2ExRVmi
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN574XS0vip
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡor72vjyeGq
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhifZ7PQZUY
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLsT2H5HRTF
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6ztUH1PO6
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMNExHQHih
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡleiBFc7yeO
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkTpLSMRdB
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbBHSHJ8tr
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTuzoaVaSbV
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYDrMvJtoy
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡama7H50658
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2y7AOzROvy
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsco3jURJUx
一、二、三、四、五……718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUUG7cuKUTt
註：718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvxYgxcbwqF
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoWacCeCk1
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ11PXNOXMIp
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJbrfuJtt2o
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPApnAeNVzn
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaHB0ZrNq1x
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF4MbhE2Hxt
718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCRuQyxjY0D
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》718Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOHFqcaZuAz
然後按「加至主畫面」