「你還可以嗎？」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4rizSUs2ou
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQZ8RNgHJD
「無法不可以。」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4pSEQZdH8
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJNAVtHT5xD
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRqxiJT6nt
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQHxqg3et4n
「謝謝你。」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIMwemrMzIh
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUbQec1OTjC
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6F1bsgB43S
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7HeMOEHY2
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuJWxWv9wMv
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9X1NHG2cD5
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rNun7DCpj
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlyXdyzUIcD
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNB8MsTZ0e3
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiAD1hQofoJ
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgASZweJSU
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DNu1p5p2p
「老婆……」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyWbRtFwKU
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1wHru6Unw
「有困難？金錢？」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxUNcoCVbG
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmOkVyN0074
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYtUftJsYUB
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yzphxeT5G
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv5k8vxmBVx
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT21rwvtedD
「嗯。」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg14Sdf8Kbu
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNlLWGMunA
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEbxHqdu0I
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCqoIQiZWBl
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRoboPpN7Y
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ouaJfHnqO
無能。無力。無奈。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVuznAUlk5
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡysPsJl1xmo
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGzogOjqwh
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS4GUnZgqhP
剪不斷，理還亂。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmGjuAP72Go
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTc212RuiHL
勿剪，別理。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgVoDD1Ouu
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Q4NDgr7o1
待時日將其化解。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVCTQdUibT
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9OYL3JBdC
莫操心。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ00fTLaoLMS
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJS2egxnB0J
莫操心？643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡznGfGoB4Le
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMjGCIt18W4
如何莫操心？643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcPgiK1kV9
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgF8xyh6INi
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ79CBqru24n
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7atKqhsdmq
撐多久？如何撐？643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxm0JlyShDA
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ihaf3KyZQ
不知道……643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCRbdR2EAz
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6PkmGZu6zE
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4HmLKXlTb
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk1OlHgBDFC
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83QDgfK2FD
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7x8mf1GcJ
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdTkeaDg6YS
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtgArI8BlQ
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWFs6pdZqFr
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtQn0fzU4q
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡna3xgZZ57Z
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcQVqfo8jwT
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdWo126JmwX
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNyBw68lbjs
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡipcvx23qpt
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPAD9T2BcJm
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP5sI5GTlld
我笑。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLcJj9FjFHu
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBCAzeJPer
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxNqPHqjnIU
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡanerBXBHaS
忽爾不想回家。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSQBF4LZvzw
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lSG8mLBmP
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeT9NDlgMdJ
「好的。」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLWu4am7HH
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgz1U2MNxw
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogyXsVcC78
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURRtgn80YB
只會苦了自己。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsHX6QOlC4
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ880MkVMzEs
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc7MOnNdmy
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMRCTtNgrKU
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK5scYLVXH9
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCY5MBvTIvF
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtG0TZQYJR
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6jbH4m4nTT
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoBDVLzdSxQ
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiYHj1R7MkR
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Qhs9VXN10
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9TINs0c0N
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFTWSMmGQ0c
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuxj8WKMRl
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4LzyzvCNQK
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoTJIitp81
一、二、三、四、五……643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3x3svwbL1
註：643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwNhSZM7Z1
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWkFaU2ka8X
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LqqMDbJiY
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK3HeluTPe9
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu508ABmwTS
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUnuDWXsLBY
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjTUQEqgDe8
643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBqLExGnr4
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》643Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahPQldDdxP
然後按「加至主畫面」