「你還可以嗎？」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRiN8cNShsY
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjYcDiYdDzg
「無法不可以。」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQef3w9YGvQ
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUVIm0iZqD
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTNxEgaxLy8
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3awkLhDtkt
「謝謝你。」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2txCCR8JV
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHkhBdHRqum
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaeaBa4eVaP
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitIbFDOdhZ
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWvFTYZgHXf
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjzYl0OZAb
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9s8P5eEqL
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VO21pV6Rw
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBlYqlJvrEu
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAoCKcrJHB
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyUzNpxut7
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMJ7Y6mxC8
「老婆……」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5XGYTlguWR
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKECiQXoNiE
「有困難？金錢？」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTZ4SxhyQK9
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgl9OrtkuBR
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCBulv69D1j
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUs1EvG6zU
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY8VtmJWfVI
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mnICegFff
「嗯。」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIlIMqijOKz
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGHvYd2SPld
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSisY6PYvP7
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFgAYm3O8A
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMOJgONFBe
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvjKqaWbFCs
無能。無力。無奈。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoHGQ9N3hoa
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uTmwkDI8Z
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqvnkz0q0sC
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUhwPIziVi6
剪不斷，理還亂。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdphJcsY2C
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JbXitLDQ9
勿剪，別理。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUNk17dVhnB
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDILWgo1HuO
待時日將其化解。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcbSupuAk8M
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB88M4iFBOk
莫操心。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEWogKsZebe
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXtFPoCz1r
莫操心？823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5mfXG4KUfr
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIlNnn2m3K
如何莫操心？823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG7Mrcj2RAl
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdtK94bHqL
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHU2SboQpx
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwia1S8RtpK
撐多久？如何撐？823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNsDJESfRe
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwNwvf47mK
不知道……823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxXhPp9Yd0
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoucG1LgLQC
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZASw5fFvz1
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77EbUeCc5e
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY3SevaXdKM
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy0h9mPFGN1
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLZfN58oC9J
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJFHxC9pOvO
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UfN1vcXIW
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJkjrDl6XsL
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIPypinQTO
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyh9wXQFOUE
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlvibrGZd5z
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDowzLSMfDn
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeOlHn1yXZQ
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIofKlJoly
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡskpLvyJ0tO
我笑。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLq5bGDPaeg
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVyNDtJHSWP
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjBvKE5qaIu
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjaCU53Dw2g
忽爾不想回家。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlqRgrw6v5
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz3GyfeFXN8
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3unq7Cmq6k
「好的。」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZrmYlVsDE
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgYfYy5c8T
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9lfDjkL3i
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolDe4oDcp0
只會苦了自己。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZDrrujpi4s
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHYXk8sEx0H
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtr3wMjMvE
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLf2gI1suVZ
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuvZ4EzetWr
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivZTV5ZJ7b
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr6Iuj42TZr
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TLnLCh2K9
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOBPbpDlri8
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHppbz1Iel1
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BeqYccgCZ
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNmlxDrZAv
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvXHfiSy1Z
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡffMWREB2yZ
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxcwZT7AwI
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtkCMKhW3S
一、二、三、四、五……823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcRycHmHsmQ
註：823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1mnX8YM4JV
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNZT1XjOtU
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2zezYLIGgd
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAtL7lFQwyY
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3icJj8FN05
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ56LV3HHVFA
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe82Z25Trsh
823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5M28bSBwFo
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》823Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxj4Xh8jQ4
and then Add to home screen.