「你還可以嗎？」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv7HMrYxF0C
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsEf5LGxjlf
「無法不可以。」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqWhiDd7rs
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjyzY8MbXVk
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbC2B7ibUqH
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPuDUxSjxO
「謝謝你。」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6v5sf8gLh
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGCRMd7TMD8
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSzTFAXgkd
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnHZFuCRnI1
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5zd4I4uOR1
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSRD5tMABkI
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwRxDWAwOH2
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaaLzhwfPtP
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLTW1KGKkAi
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOX88C55SI
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8422mMfe9h
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJSnf6oXzkd
「老婆……」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0YxAcIN8UK
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdO7tNUCXtw
「有困難？金錢？」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6DhzmkH57
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvcyEuRbrkx
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJCr7otzRR
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡujU4Y01sca
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtZxvihXyWn
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWcTChq5tN
「嗯。」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZYeLQ4HmA
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFAfGmZBSx5
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNU8itgdRJf
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPzvDa9szJ6
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8aKAuHWF7h
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxAFnXRsYq
無能。無力。無奈。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡudimiJcgrL
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPina2M7dpL
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMJ52kaZ9wL
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSDZFFQSTTO
剪不斷，理還亂。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGl5RbOYvKQ
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMNFz4GW7F
勿剪，別理。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfQxua5F1jb
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCzs5hPtRCl
待時日將其化解。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYbVCPbpUsu
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVMJJg4Ubw
莫操心。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswjRiEd4y6
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlmQgaHzEuq
莫操心？697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwSqtI9pQu1
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLNr2dlpt9
如何莫操心？697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYXjHN8cRJ
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8yPhahOwtG
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0WWdPsallk
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFN3DTCIdgG
撐多久？如何撐？697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIL0UkjFnd
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYTJzwwaz1c
不知道……697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQl1jDowD3b
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFBC10TMfd
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKb5ruHTckM
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxCPHxg3tCm
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYIzxTy0qv
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXodQ8ayFs
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbhR6swi9Aa
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUwadBHW0RV
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzocfwsylhh
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡutT1bjurVE
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcT9cDwTcbE
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwwSAQFaqB1
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMNoHZzCLM
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaTXoy75UvB
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjW9yULHv2k
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZF3VoMvPdy
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyKMHGncKzs
我笑。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvpkKwybztI
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdfgRxxlqN
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrBqPSlmas
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6UI6yK1no
忽爾不想回家。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpwH3hLYnb
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnGfbUuenSy
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVIpq7jKAXy
「好的。」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6S9H6DMbUI
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6js1i8iiK
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDetVxbV7rx
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbl2bBAzcJF
只會苦了自己。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyvaFwdvZM0
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjygHXNymAR
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzyaSwc16K
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmmoGqB8j5l
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKXRylZ6kKW
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRqVCKCjlZ
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6AsBGKiQzx
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwB9K12C2P
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQaXA91HLcf
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4W4VRUb22e
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡih1WrhENrf
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOSjdfxMkG
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5E8blrOFX
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiJwhgpe0d
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDEoIrmvd0
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbtSSnMrIUA
一、二、三、四、五……697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6YQmR17jNr
註：697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡydSlyv3nTk
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdCfNz81qrt
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbX1OA9ezuF
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvu7kmO77B3
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8URhvXZz4C
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDC1T86Rwek
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rBtpipE0g
697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCUf175q5hE
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》697Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYIFVCbdg1
然後按「加至主畫面」