「你還可以嗎？」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDjLQTBSzIH
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyGif8pOpQ
「無法不可以。」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtXxZHXpfN
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogZFBmXnMP
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkRWCLpzYTK
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcxL5MJmZUN
「謝謝你。」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5ec5tRoWe
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkDryfcjcHX
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ88ZQQAAuga
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLd2B6vbwv2
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPt8DCb4Ue
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnyzknCIpI1
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1L8ap8DEDJ
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyYH4o8yw00
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0PlYdRwgiu
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMdhRzxbxpR
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJJQXyA7aT
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuKPDNfn921
「老婆……」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJLsfrSKrm
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNjPiU4DBke
「有困難？金錢？」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQxG1uhKZrc
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTI76uSGVQ
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDt4s0NWek8
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWTBSpZP7Fc
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnYcZoNM3L
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdflXUQ4FY
「嗯。」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE1qGAgRHJ2
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE2TFDARCgK
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ45ET2Qj7Kj
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd7OOVAWFPs
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF86ckPmqT7
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI3BSkqtymk
無能。無力。無奈。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfqO4FCB6v
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpZE6eV8pO
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡppzv3zWoFG
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEMUNGS0Nu
剪不斷，理還亂。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5FhbUKDhZY
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGjRDh1sOtw
勿剪，別理。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96MbZo9KJU
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILsXrb6teE
待時日將其化解。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnIbEjPbf9Z
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuSOHWvErKB
莫操心。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr0h9VmFEi8
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ6fioFETYr
莫操心？651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBm1fkNyVJ
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhZkxKHp3A
如何莫操心？651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ZLTtAs4LO
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcNfQVwRv8C
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPqihzXm9II
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtMGvf21oBX
撐多久？如何撐？651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWvNN4qbbj
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxGaounBq7
不知道……651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFe4MSf7J63
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVLxMcASkK
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9Miv3mt9i
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdX8ieGjMp
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOVWxZmkwmi
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WNwD82Ts3
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡytmpA9hXFN
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr9tH1TcuL6
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhmAxqllP3X
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIkzO6W4fMX
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZW3VEg9zUK
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSbD5A8nP8
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWxXcEN156v
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtsehaAbcHn
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7KeFMqork0
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXnAXgKc68
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCf2k6tz4Wp
我笑。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSftWBifISV
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2f2WH07Q7k
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2chtxxAIs
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZxhWr0LrGY
忽爾不想回家。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwDeDDtmaij
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZyZ929sXte
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBDJa2mkoDH
「好的。」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8gt9s6WVz
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEPFMpHo2P
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTSpel8bSc
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXctkKTmEY1
只會苦了自己。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGu72PhlqzW
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCJwmyq74Fl
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfRdN5OMiJZ
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9E2aWjVG5
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7FnPBFNbX
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvWWb3CVjfM
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXHcOftMMOi
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCacVGTwlyn
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZVE5SJXGLv
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfQUNmvV7U
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7OIHAtphg5
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBLqpSencL
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDwVLTiCEg4
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9vc3zdR7zC
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6ntj7Zyp9
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjpwweJRNr7
一、二、三、四、五……651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7WmD0KIRY
註：651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYzCfyxUwF8
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDAnYPC8if
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJSH9v48Yk
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡicCsDTKVtM
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF8OGIOzovi
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKKbU2sC3Cw
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqTgqNh8sHF
651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJredSEvWj2
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》651Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVKXANvGTwN
然後按「加至主畫面」