「你還可以嗎？」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH6PJ1kNxn8
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJ62Hvt4Jj
「無法不可以。」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZFXCTIwU9
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHN8a6ulFj5
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUwp1Lcqef
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8FkXPTNpHw
「謝謝你。」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlwZ18sg37
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3Aql6USU5
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FtAjBrXup
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRjMBFnlS8x
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx7Y7869zMP
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmt1CmyfXgT
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDaFID4bMe9
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABmHUQC2tG
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt1zTTb0nBb
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyz6GhD2vkl
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN0vwKqKm58
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEYLzAkcDxh
「老婆……」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHj1UZ3cyyU
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYfvFakvKTi
「有困難？金錢？」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAD6r09yy7r
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlkixR4qsOv
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5oluQDTXZJ
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡybvidJIBP3
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2UwTVmK2DJ
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDpo5gVI4ag
「嗯。」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa6zMP5WmfY
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfMguE9xoL
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiZPmMXtNrG
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYcIsxDgX0
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWdYjgnMLEa
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2KAV6O3VI
無能。無力。無奈。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkb2xjA2FQi
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoqG4uvPeq
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2oEsqmBCx
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31oSATV6Vv
剪不斷，理還亂。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiR3cBBhRK
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmA00XqJkwV
勿剪，別理。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd9hLwqkHSI
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFePIpM4xD1
待時日將其化解。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLw3cSpVOio
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Q0eJx3QEg
莫操心。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA82p6x5KNu
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcT0DLIvSII
莫操心？658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqtT9bJs4b
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAbjHFzjM7J
如何莫操心？658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9gsPKc52fZ
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDEmTnGofK
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBJGldJT7dV
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLEQivIQ7Fz
撐多久？如何撐？658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRkNaxctGYJ
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6BSmARQzj
不知道……658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlMrmDwyK89
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9nVM58i93
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwaTKIdr9xF
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyezAKs4NWk
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DNB8jq0sS
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAhbNZMcPQ
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBfKTRkuGu
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ68BRUK2D8u
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqMFCGKgju
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYp0U0ygg2R
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJynBY2pZwO
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYvDC7IjF2f
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPuY0ZY6wbk
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuz2aFXFI37
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTWxE6aeCS
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2agsa6Ztni
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMq2RIkcDc6
我笑。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbANEy37BL
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdsFawvEIi
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm61h04rr1G
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcrnjXVtZm
忽爾不想回家。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7Is1RCvYK
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4yUfBYR5MC
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLI6S0l4Hgu
「好的。」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPkNDi367to
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaa8KqyLPdf
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdXG1iU30Cv
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgI723dnabF
只會苦了自己。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmiBDHkWah
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHDZav0QMBX
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYirZ1EO52Q
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0Q4M51DhZ
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7xhyvwHQ9u
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHRs6WPnmHt
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWrsnhoDCUB
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAPMtbQKz59
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhK5QqhpMyA
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflKmtotShS
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhph2UDL2Ly
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjNtfwJCp6A
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkwEdwiPf6
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Lu6vQAoGZ
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd6FHhDJriA
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLy3jROpitU
一、二、三、四、五……658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL41IdnSkvi
註：658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAIJSr3Pg8
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2sagd8s4L2
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9W176RPBB5
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfVLmBlUlmx
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjb1DtdVuKX
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLyLRIpnl19
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtBu5Ma94nG
658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn4sVh5uKie
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》658Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgkB1Gu5RBq
然後按「加至主畫面」