「你還可以嗎？」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumKVCKggvQ
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzSuise4mu
「無法不可以。」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNSmJVkbpko
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4MjHSZ7lPG
「如需幫忙，來找我吧。」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99WXxsp3Pz
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvyNFWToEul
「謝謝你。」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDnyMoHd69
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmeBbThOzf
我對隸屬同組的小妹報以虛弱苦笑。與她向來關係不錯，概略知道彼此家庭狀況——同是經濟支柱，一屋老嫩。聽到她主動提出幫忙，我除了感激，更多的是恥感。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVbtyyDR85M
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGRfGkP52Go
唉！多講無謂，反正既成事實。倒不如動腦筋思考如何向妻子說明狀況。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuXEhKizN0s
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJ8hhe00Gx
疫情關係，全球經濟不景氣。我和妻子預料這段艱難時期將會維持好一段日子，早已節衣縮食，積穀防饑。但我們慢慢沒有想到老闆會有此一著：工作日數減半意味薪金減半。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd8v609ufSz
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDypfpKMDik
供樓開支無法削減，父母醫療開支不能削，孩子教育開支不能減。唯一可以削減的只有我們夫妻倆的花費……631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhcRXurPoAS
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0yj73KViC
飯後，兩老早睡，兒女溫習，妻子洗碗。我怯怯到廚房去。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT9pdLtXXBj
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkYjM9FhUe
「老婆……」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoEyBOcGuy6
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjjFBbApl3
「有困難？金錢？」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ATPVPUPFz
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMKGR1kzO7
妻子搶佔發言先機，內心不安的我更覺虛怯。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJqQ58MYXAc
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mPSfFMOHq
「是。明天開始，只需星期二、四上班。」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubyECbd7HP
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddP7h16Yro
「嗯。」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC1Yao5AaMn
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcnqJeKEUqp
妻子沒再多話，專心洗碗。她的冷靜淡然在我意料之外，卻又在情理當中。無力改變現實，也就只得接受和硬撐，呼天搶地無補於事。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfMIp1VRORJ
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNryxK0JuUx
我回睡房躺在床上發愣。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRg1aiRglVs
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb57l3c9MFg
無能。無力。無奈。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZiXStMFTtu
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡphWa6gEtRT
千思萬緒化作團團亂線。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKhQROVlWo3
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1YGWlDXGB
剪不斷，理還亂。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4zSGZj7cF
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5zyaJtv9L
勿剪，別理。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8HqiEgF3Fs
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaYmUvF7iCZ
待時日將其化解。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy7lD8huzE1
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuc6NXbcRFq
莫操心。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvhH9eP16l
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡchs5lOtr08
莫操心？631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKwdIEexxOQ
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSuN8KhNIZD
如何莫操心？631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPNRzFFMjkJ
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡItALtF3zo1
我知道困境必定會過去，但我必須硬撐直到那天到來。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzL8SjuyjIH
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWbaX1VnLFd
撐多久？如何撐？631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSOfEXBsPvU
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDHA6KawZve
不知道……631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkWFLFLQeF4
日出。星期二。上班員工人數銳減，辦公室冷清不少。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9J72GprbAl
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbHYqPJBtW2
有人若無其事，有人變得寡言，有人大吐苦水。不論個人感受如何，公司繼續營運，世界繼續運轉。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNahO4q0Nx
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2rQnvaYYjg
啟動電腦。電腦桌面背景是站在浮冰的北極熊。毛色暗啞，骨瘦如柴，神色虛弱。想必多日找不到食物，飢腸轆轆。絕望？誰管你的！天地蒼茫，白皚皚一片。無論北極熊是否存在，北極仍是北極，我仍在地球另端為家庭財政傷透腦筋。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1dhI4HAsEi
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsP9U7AJgh
午餐。翻熱食物。是昨夜飯餸，白飯菜心排骨。白飯黏糯，菜心苦黃，排骨柴乾。想要一支豉油。下班後去買吧！不了，豉油不是必需品，不該浪費金錢買奢侈品。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnhpxjc5nw2
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEctM7YBEpV
下班時間，加班。加班同事還不少。沒法子。減少工作日數不代表減少工作量，也不代表工作進度可以放慢。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuMcufR991M
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQbsDnadRMH
每次想及時間、日子，位於電腦屏幕右下方的時鐘就會顯得格外礙眼：它在提醒我妻子的飯菜變涼了、孩子掛念我的心情變淡了、父母與我相處的時間變短了；它在催促我加快手腳完成當前項目，接下來的工作將以排山倒海之勢襲來；它在教導我人生大道理，一寸光陰一吋金，吋金難買寸光陰，更何況加班沒有加班費……631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlN79NkHPWP
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvz156VFcw9
關機，正式下班。心情太壞，說服不了自己留下來。回首，同事們仍在埋頭苦幹。理解，但無法奉陪到底。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTrO8lwXRul
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57BA8ncVp8
大街上，人影疏落，商店無燈。車站無人，想必有一班次剛剛離站。等。車頭燈或白或黃，在黑夜暗色環境當中尤其刺眼眩目。節慶煙花，演唱會螢光棒，無燈飯廳裡的金魚缸，床頭小燈，被窩裡的手提電話屏幕……腦袋失控，只管想著一堆毫無意義、不著邊際的雜亂畫面。累？是吧。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2G4y5Y9zp
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5WqkVNQOsk
我笑。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Jp7uS15T3
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyfe4uclJq
在巴士入站之際決定轉身離開。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpUZ8QjZqCL
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKv24eT9Vr
忽爾不想回家。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMpOGMrTMz4
「飯餸在雪櫃。你自行翻熱吧。」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJs36LF1iFU
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmYN5QhX88
「好的。」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOlzPHssCcy
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYkJ2twaHC
我敷衍回應妻子幾句後也就洗澡去。熱水沖去臉上油塵，皮膚霎時變得乾淨而乾燥，微癢微痕。或許每個人都是因為這些不著眼的小耗損而老去。無可避免。無可奈何。是否只得順從？是否只得接受？不順從又如何？不接受又如何？631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwiIx07bKX3
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPllk9ZON9K
只會苦了自己。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Q8V7NFeg6
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lJgvL6st8
努力改變過，極力掙扎過，然後一切依舊——世界依舊不似預期。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2KoAXNz7wO
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlr6NneiR4
通體蝕骨的無能無力無奈。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhVdAiJTqHs
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9mOdOl45s
浴後，睡床上。妻子望著天花發愣。天花燈沒有亮著，光源自窗外滲入，剛巧側照伏在天花的小蟲，以誇張得滑稽的比例拉長小蟲影子，如怪物，如鬼魅。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfMHjyymoq
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50gdpZPre7
「你的同事有沒有跟老闆反映近來遇上的問題？」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXZBo5JceN
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ52iIXcW9Z
「沒有。大家都在座位上邊罵邊工作。」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWWxfEsibB
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmUiv11jrUe
妻子乾笑一聲，側身面窗睡去。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcy5h9O8Xe
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC2P3w2dyBg
我實在笑不出口，呆望天花數蟲子。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCYlNljn9LF
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI0cRwFE0wu
一、二、三、四、五……631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzrebfYzd0f
註：631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXfeMcbO8vS
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBggVNqwBXL
***題目其中一句問「不知道大家有沒有因為這場疫情失去了甚麼呢？」631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu4aOGGXCHc
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmcH5yWV5j
我認為大家除了關於物質上（例如金錢、生活質素）、生理上（例如生命、健康）及心理上（安全感、與親友相聚的快樂）的失去，還有自我認同（例如對掌握自身未來的自信、對於自身的道德批判）的失去。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlHgnH2W65
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5BKYfc5sam
未必關乎大是大非，每次小小的自私自利或是小小的屈辱或是小小的啞忍退讓，足以大大貶低自我形象。這是否疫情過去就可以彌補的傷害？誰知道。631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNKQffgK11r
631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yzvEwLRRF
***此篇會另外收錄於短篇小說合集《雜念集》631Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBeGF8RBp5
然後按「加至主畫面」