Poem (2) - Doesn't Matter

TW// Mentions of self-harm, suicide256Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXtX3POHn2

AN// I wrote this yesterday for NaNoWriMo, and thought I'd enter it here.256Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXylEo5qn6t

Would it be better

If I just didn't matter?

If everything that I did

Didn't end up broken and shattered?

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I try my damn best

Day in and day out

But my very best efforts

End up clouded in doubt

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Perhaps you'd be happy

If I was just gone

Taken out of the game

Instead of just being a pawn

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When will you realize

I did all that I could?

If my blood is all spilt

Will I have done what I should?

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With a gun to my head

Will you still tell me I failed?

With a knife to my wrist

Will you still say that I bailed?

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To you, I'm just useless

Can't do anything right

And I guess it's just true

I just don't want to fight

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So I guess that's just it

No 'ifs', 'ands', or 'buts'

I'm the useless daughter

And you're completely nuts

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So I'm sorry, Mom and Dad

Well, maybe not the latter

I'm sure you'll miss me when I'm gone

But remember:

It doesn't matter

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