立鏡前翻好領子,拍兩下外套上不存在的皺褶,拿好包,穿上皮鞋,出門上班。
夜幕高掛,連街上路燈都靜下來,開門,鑰匙掛好牆上,脫下皮鞋,穿著襪子進入舒適圈前一步,習慣地在看一眼立鏡前的自己。
「死氣沉沉的灰色。」嗤之以鼻地輕語。
「不是單純地討厭這顏色,嗯,第一次穿正裝的時候還是挺興奮的,屁孩一個,像剛嘗到地一口菸的毛頭小子、第一次打耳洞的中二少年,覺得人都因為自己的蠢蛋舉動而昇華了一樣。」
雙手不曾因自言自語而停下,已經撩起的袖子,俐落地處理食材,撕掉超市打折的吊牌,蔬菜洗淨、切塊,白飯塞進微波爐後,扭動瓦斯爐的控制鈕,藍橘色的文火上架上炒鍋,滋滋地炒菜、加入肉片,帶食材都炒熟,裝上白瓷的盤子,取出加熱完成的白飯,托著食具、隨意地叼著筷子,將晚餐放上茶几後便盤腿席地而坐。
終於可以坐下,靜下來,似乎整個家都變得少了活氣,掛在衣架的西裝外套,燈心絨的面料,不突兀,是在路上會讓人不禁覺得自家衣櫃好像似曾相識的感覺。
「從灰色燈心絨料質的西裝開始,三年後我買了下了背後這張灰色布面的沙發,再半年是黑色敞亮的茶几,再之後是白色磁磚的地面,曾幾何時,三十年的舊屋變成我理想中鄉的模樣。」
167Please respect copyright.PENANAkJi1PYt2AZ
只有,這個理想裡,有個異物。
是什麼時候出現的呢?大概,是我剛搬來的時候。
她也不是一直在,第一次的相遇,不會忘記,是在陽台。是個陰天,烏雲密佈,卻怎麼都沒下雨,濕氣讓舊屋潮濕得難以忍受,那天我剛好休假,無奈之下正想去陽台透氣。
一個毛茸茸蹲著的背影,一米的圍欄一半不到,以為是鄰居小孩正打算搭話,那一團站了起來,身高只比圍欄高一個頭。些許是意識到自己,她雙手插兜,回眸。
她並非濃妝艷抹,但叼著香煙的手,塗著亮眼的指彩,眉尾的眉釘仍然宣示著與我不同的換日線。
她兩指夾著離嘴的菸,吐出的煙霧裡,她輕快地說:「你好呀,天氣真好,是吧。」
「呃,這天氣隨便問一個人都不會說是好天氣吧?」
然,滿頭的疑問沒有忘記保護自己的本能,故,我沒有針對她的發言提出質疑。
嬌小的少女,打個噴嚏,拉好外套,毛外套顯得寬鬆可愛,裡頭橙色的毛衣像火焰,襯得面容朝氣蓬勃。
從那匆匆一撇,似是種下不解的緣,不只一次在陽台遇上吞雲吐霧的她,只要是陰天,她似乎都在。鮮明如她,橙色、黃色、綠色,有時也染上跳色的頭髮,意外發現連眉釘有時也換成金色、粉金色。
她說:「我叫瑤,聽是美玉、光明的意思。」
一個月裡四五次陽台偶遇,瑤遠比我第一印象的要博學,大約是頭腦很好的那類人。
漫無目的的有搭沒搭的對話,像菸上忽明忽滅的星火,我的收獲是一堆不需要的知識,她身上濃濃的中二不良風,卻個性意外地好相處;瑤她說想去南極生定居,但是似乎對極光沒什麼興趣;她絕對是個老菸槍,明明都抽一樣的菸,但卻還是會被菸嗆到;她不愛吃魚,可是很會用筷子,可以分出香魚的解剖圖的程度;她似乎至少35歲了,但是外觀卻像少女,縱軸、橫軸都是。
總之,瑤是個有很大反差的人,什麼發言都不會讓我意外了。
167Please respect copyright.PENANAxoVmo3krjx
一天,瑤說:「很多動物的毛皮都是灰色的,像狼、哈士奇、企鵝,看到牠們蓬鬆的毛皮就有種很溫暖的感覺。你說,你覺得灰色是暖色還是冷色?」
看著似乎認真地思考著的瑤,我不由自主地憶起想了會,答道:「應該是冷色吧,讓人感到沉穩的顏色。」
「你是說灰色是很讓人安心的顏色,不過比起寒冷,溫暖的感覺應該更能讓人覺得有安全感。」
輕敲菸頭,大塊的煙灰被抖下,可以看到瑤抿著的菸一下短了好大一節,直到她抽完整支菸,原本以為她會發表更多見解,然,她只是一下下滾動喉頭,專注地吞著灰茫茫的雲。
菸蒂被按在她陽台的琉璃盤。
她噘嘴,向著陰鬱的天空吐出一個個完美的煙圈。
很完美的圓。
我不禁跟著她的目光,看著小小的圈,逐漸飄遠,逐漸擴大,直到被微弱的風吹散,連影都找不到。
因為注意力被煙圈吸引,我沒看到瑤一瞬間變得空洞的眼神。
瑤最終說:「其實顏色中黑、白、灰色屬於中性色,可以應用在任何的冷暖色系,增添調色給人的感觸、白些凸顯輕盈、暗些增添踏實、亮些顯得熱情、暗些顯得靜默、光明象徵積極、夜幕藏著頹唐。」
瑤開心地笑著,像個小孩,摸摸髮上糖果色的發卡,要喝地伸個懶腰,就像曬飽太陽的貓,全身無不舒坦。
「我回啦,掰掰。」
剩下自己在陽台,吹吹風,思緒隨意延伸、發散。
我的藝術細胞沒那麼好,只有看著舒服與否的差別。中性色,白點就會輕盈,黑點就是沉重,白色和黑色就像是一個象限的兩個極端,而這個世界裡有多少事情可以用極端以解釋得通?
茫茫人海,純粹的神早就已離去,留下的,大概就是擁擠的,無所是從的灰色的世界。
灰色於我,是我隱身於人群的毛皮,頂著日出去上班,再披著夜色回家。不顯眼也不隨便,連悲喜都顯得無足輕重,適合渺小在這個社會裡的我。
之後,我都沒再見到瑤。雖然是萍水相逢,除了她叫瑤外一無所知,更是除了陽台,我沒在小區其他和她相遇過。
依然上班、下班,忙碌、疲憊、但也充實著自己,空蕩蕩的屋子添上茶几、沙發、電視、多肉植物、也很少的偶爾置放一些鮮花、擺飾。
電視螢幕裡喋喋不休的播報,白熾燈泡死白的照明,茶几上的殘羹為死寂的空間點上了人間煙火味。
或許,染上灰色是生存下去的必然,在這世界底下打滾,怎麼能保持純粹的黑白,灰色的毛皮與自己早已無法分割,灰色是中性色,離我而去的信仰,也留給我嘗試點染這個世界的自由。
167Please respect copyright.PENANAZT1YNsp2A1
167Please respect copyright.PENANA61yidGCW99
167Please respect copyright.PENANAynyNtOdAyq
167Please respect copyright.PENANA7hd5bwJCur
167Please respect copyright.PENANAAbamjWHZzG
167Please respect copyright.PENANATAQ4TChJ4n
167Please respect copyright.PENANAka2QcVWvtH
167Please respect copyright.PENANA4TNxpXru5v
167Please respect copyright.PENANAwobbVPCKak
167Please respect copyright.PENANA6ufSKIkD0s
167Please respect copyright.PENANARlT2PmZyhP
167Please respect copyright.PENANAdhHSKysBz1
167Please respect copyright.PENANAX3GlBm1rND
167Please respect copyright.PENANANYeNaVqRIz
167Please respect copyright.PENANAyVLMKKvdbT
167Please respect copyright.PENANAoPexqWVxqU
167Please respect copyright.PENANAzcpiHt89KZ
167Please respect copyright.PENANAFY0ow5wLFE
167Please respect copyright.PENANA9P4sAsoAft
167Please respect copyright.PENANAl9IGBGenRR
167Please respect copyright.PENANAeNyhoIqHub
167Please respect copyright.PENANAS7BdNiIqkt
167Please respect copyright.PENANAcgY1QAF69A
167Please respect copyright.PENANA6DQJpnMcop
167Please respect copyright.PENANA3KaiJZaUiT
167Please respect copyright.PENANAZxODf5QlTp
167Please respect copyright.PENANA5toFS4jv00
167Please respect copyright.PENANAfySQvGUo3V
167Please respect copyright.PENANAdbD4wPgEKf
167Please respect copyright.PENANA7tSZVJWASy
167Please respect copyright.PENANAIrtWmYG90O
167Please respect copyright.PENANAo2bek5KDBc
167Please respect copyright.PENANAu6AefScaoY
167Please respect copyright.PENANAtXOjbBsniY
167Please respect copyright.PENANA5INudsIF0F
167Please respect copyright.PENANAJU4WLLh9NU
167Please respect copyright.PENANAyBfIqYu6go
167Please respect copyright.PENANAW8Iz1nzM1M
167Please respect copyright.PENANAstns07t1sL
167Please respect copyright.PENANAF83rBlEh2K
167Please respect copyright.PENANAZOyE3XNkM7
167Please respect copyright.PENANABQQGd3Dsnf
167Please respect copyright.PENANAn7g4Yn9Mrz
167Please respect copyright.PENANATxpMDWqzvH
167Please respect copyright.PENANAmSVm2eFjHz
167Please respect copyright.PENANA9B7VJIfXbF
167Please respect copyright.PENANAZxzwXfSYXX
167Please respect copyright.PENANARKa6uPG91m
167Please respect copyright.PENANAPbqN4dYrpj
167Please respect copyright.PENANAdk90B9pi2L
167Please respect copyright.PENANAQZoqt8RinL
167Please respect copyright.PENANAXMK7upOjLx
167Please respect copyright.PENANA8oiMrVCfmo
167Please respect copyright.PENANAwKFXJJPdKx
167Please respect copyright.PENANAaf8lb6zLFh
167Please respect copyright.PENANAmCGTWEQphl
167Please respect copyright.PENANATlA3Xiyuw7
167Please respect copyright.PENANAJx7qzN3LJe
167Please respect copyright.PENANAoF4sxs8Ek2
167Please respect copyright.PENANAVGMhpjoBT7
167Please respect copyright.PENANA3sNm02kzM2
167Please respect copyright.PENANAOc9yfzmrBE
167Please respect copyright.PENANAuG6EwvONbt
167Please respect copyright.PENANABoq0yAh7Ey
167Please respect copyright.PENANApMMgWFWAKR
167Please respect copyright.PENANASXZ2itNpiD
167Please respect copyright.PENANA78O3id8aOU
167Please respect copyright.PENANAzaKc0KUiP9
167Please respect copyright.PENANAwx2CNa9tXU
167Please respect copyright.PENANAZc0zu09pLl
167Please respect copyright.PENANAEomIeZdoAD
167Please respect copyright.PENANAyV9l4XBOCJ
167Please respect copyright.PENANA2c9ynJMjIO
167Please respect copyright.PENANAKRIoNqxX9q
167Please respect copyright.PENANAWhS2BTAPSP
167Please respect copyright.PENANASklDpSZ6FE
167Please respect copyright.PENANABouCu1iNm0
167Please respect copyright.PENANAhZ0EFq7K5P
167Please respect copyright.PENANAf4beZLuZa1
167Please respect copyright.PENANAP9aO4pBoaj
167Please respect copyright.PENANA8mEXOFYlMk
167Please respect copyright.PENANAeT2qSwBVUp
167Please respect copyright.PENANAVLvW8PAczx
167Please respect copyright.PENANASSAaXcuMqq
167Please respect copyright.PENANAGk7DY5gE0D
167Please respect copyright.PENANAotswB6SycU
167Please respect copyright.PENANAWA7fOUnkHY
167Please respect copyright.PENANAPogvq97IqA
167Please respect copyright.PENANApDYl02HPSJ
167Please respect copyright.PENANAs7eaYCkJgp
167Please respect copyright.PENANAkxVJlOa1dG
167Please respect copyright.PENANAsaLaHvBWCz
167Please respect copyright.PENANAshbLciIjN4
167Please respect copyright.PENANAzI5r7bXmCT
167Please respect copyright.PENANAImj1eaOjHw
167Please respect copyright.PENANAPjMONUs6AE
167Please respect copyright.PENANA9apZdi9ZFi
167Please respect copyright.PENANAbQbxN7uLVA
167Please respect copyright.PENANA7iSaesR6IY
167Please respect copyright.PENANAvvr4vteTjz
167Please respect copyright.PENANAHpYkOhHUIV
167Please respect copyright.PENANAZ2P1eJ2GdG
167Please respect copyright.PENANAzpch5aPibT
167Please respect copyright.PENANAPRJM4omWIw
167Please respect copyright.PENANAmeYLngAKaz
167Please respect copyright.PENANAAujhurnHZV
167Please respect copyright.PENANA11FQkz4rQu
167Please respect copyright.PENANAkVFCAmEWdX
167Please respect copyright.PENANAL6o9X549eL
167Please respect copyright.PENANA53L2k6UoOa
167Please respect copyright.PENANAQN9rsTPjHH
167Please respect copyright.PENANApP1uZn2Rlb
167Please respect copyright.PENANA9r5Zgyu9ka
167Please respect copyright.PENANAcyYigRWABa
167Please respect copyright.PENANALeNZz0JON1
167Please respect copyright.PENANAqGRwW3xE0W
167Please respect copyright.PENANAeh6YyH8vEE
167Please respect copyright.PENANATw8x83cZpl
167Please respect copyright.PENANAWS3yWwwieD
167Please respect copyright.PENANAOyHHTd39aL
167Please respect copyright.PENANAss0Z8nFi0w
167Please respect copyright.PENANAQlraqMuUfM
167Please respect copyright.PENANAN813xGcDEH
167Please respect copyright.PENANAFqKta6RiPt
167Please respect copyright.PENANAIO9mQAMvk9
167Please respect copyright.PENANAHd1Y1qNwCp
167Please respect copyright.PENANAjZFU3Dk2l2
167Please respect copyright.PENANAkLMk20Apie
167Please respect copyright.PENANAtDdUdVHhBh
167Please respect copyright.PENANA4zuvJCgd7q
167Please respect copyright.PENANAUWHuw0Xm6U
167Please respect copyright.PENANAbtVReKsnWw
167Please respect copyright.PENANAvWCOGb2MCE
167Please respect copyright.PENANAtLldSnmhBU
167Please respect copyright.PENANA3K7tLhOX1n
167Please respect copyright.PENANAEbposEUdU7
167Please respect copyright.PENANAla8Pun8JaZ
167Please respect copyright.PENANAvp4hXLQwGc
穿好皮鞋出門,隨手打開信箱裡,是張明信片,土氣的防寒衣裡我就有直覺是她,正包圍著、與最喜歡的企鵝合照。
ns216.73.216.205da2