(Version on Google Docs available here)
Chapter 06 – A Childhood for Merideth
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Meredith laid in her cradle. Cedric walked into the room carrying some papers. “Nesma my dear, you filled out her certificate?”
Nesma looked up at her husband. “Yes, is somezing wrong?”
“You spelled her name wrong; you wrote it as 'Merideth.'”
She tilted her head. “Is zat not right?”
Cedric walked over and pointed at the certificate. “How you wrote it, it looks almost like you made her name Mary-deth, not Meredith.”
“Oh no!” she called out with an embarrassed expression. “Is it possible to change it back?”
Cedric looked at her for a moment, but then he shook his head with a wry smile. “Ah, you know what? We'll just let her name be spelled 'Merideth,' it will be fine; it just makes her all the more special.”
“Are you sure?”
“Changing it for a small misspelling like this would be more hassle than it's worth. Perhaps we will just call her 'Mary' for short.” He set the papers on the table and walked over to the cradle. Meredith was awake with a sad look on her face. “Do you like that? Merideth?” He lifted her up. “Mmmaaary? Hm?”
The baby's face was wet, and she made an awkward expression.
Cedric looked at her with a perplexed expression. “Nesma, I worry something is wrong with her. I know that babies cry a lot, but... She doesn't wail, she just sheds tears...”
With a smile Nesma said “I zink she just needs her papa to cheer her up!”
Cedric playfully swayed the baby around while making an ooo-ing sound. Merideth didn't seem amused. “Ah-boo-boo-boo!” he said while making a silly face.
Merideth stared back with her face still sad. After a moment she lifted her hands with a smile, but her eyes still looked sad.
Cedric still felt concerned. 'If this were an adult I'd swear she was just humoring me.'
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Odessa watched as her mother went to answer the door. She enthusiastically greeted another woman who walked inside with little hesitation. This other woman carried a baby with her, probably only a couple weeks older than Odessa was now.
'Hmm, if there's another baby here, that will make things easier to confirm what my name is.' She was pretty sure it was 'Mary,' but she just wasn't 100% certain. Sometimes she heard 'Meredith;' and 'Mary' wasn't short for 'Meredith.' Perhaps the similarities to names she knew was just coincidental? Could 'Mary' just be a term of endearment that happened to be a name in her world? The inconsistency made it hard to determine how this new language functions.
The language was only one of many things she felt unsure about. She had seen a newspaper and it wasn't even written in the alphabet she knew. She began to wonder if she was on a different planet entirely, and that only led her to second-guess everything. As soon as she knew the words, she would ask to see a map. Her excuse would be to see the land where her mother came from, but truthfully she wanted to confirm what kind of world she was in.
The other child was set on the rug next to her while the adults made soft cooing chatter about the adorable scene they had just made.
Odessa sized-up her new companion. It was a boy, maybe? He wore shorts, at least; while Odessa was still garbed in a one-piece. The boy stared at her for a while, sitting upright while bouncing a little, the rattle in his hand making noise when his arms wobbled.
After a minute, the two mothers walked over to the kitchen; the guest sat at the table while Odessa's mother went to grab cups. Odessa and her new companion were left in the relative privacy of the living room. The adults looked over at them every few moments but continued to talk to each other while the dark-skinned mother prepared some tea.
Odessa looked over the guest; she looked familiar, perhaps one of the many people who came by to visit shortly after she was born, but she wasn't certain. Her concentration was interrupted as the other baby struck Odessa's cheek with his rattle. Odessa rubbed her face while glaring at the infant with anger.
She decided to let it go and looked back at the guest, hoping to divine the meaning of some of their words, only to be hit once again in the same manner. She looked back at the infant with greater contempt, and gently rubbed her wound. Her sensitive baby flesh made the minor attack feel worse than it really should have. If Odessa had teeth, she'd be gritting them.
The rattle came down a third time, this time hitting the corner of her head. Odessa reached out and grabbed the baby's wrist and called out “Hit me with that, one more time motherfucker; see what happens!”
Phyllis looked over to the children. “Oh, is Meredith babbling already?”
“I guess so!” Nesma responded with some wonderment.
With a smile Phyllis continued, “Her babble almost sounds like a real language; I think she's going to be quite the talker one day!”
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Merideth sat in her highchair with a plate of steamed vegetables on it, all diced into tiny cubes. The baby 'James' that often visited with his mother sat in the seat next to her with a similar plate of food. While Merideth gently picked up her cubes and consumed them, James seemed more interested in smashing them wildly with his palm.
“Wow, Meredith is such a good eater!” Phyllis stated warmly.
Having heard her name, Merideth guessed that James's mother was commenting about the differing eating habits between the two children. 'I don't actually like these steamed carrots, I'm just glad to be eating solid foods again!'
The front door opened and Merideth's father came inside, wearing his gold-colored military uniform with the blue jewel on his chest. The two mothers stood up and walked over to him while he set his coat and hat on the coat rack. The dark-skinned mother greeted him warmly with a kiss. Afterward the other woman greeted him by wrapping one arm around his shoulder, pulling him down so she could reach, and then fiercely rubbing his hair with her fist. The father pushed her away with an irritated smile.
“Oh, that's his sister!” Merideth exclaimed. She looked over at the baby seated next to her who was licking mashed vegetables from his palm. “Ah crap, we're related.”
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Merideth the airplane held her wings out wide while flying through the living room. Cedric provided the propeller noises and held her aloft while Nesma the control tower watched with smiles and giggles.
“Oh, watch out for the coat rack!” With a sharp bank she narrowly missed the coat rack. Cedric carried her in a low flight over the couch next, and then climbed in altitude before swinging by the bookcase. Despite the propeller noises coming from Cedric, the plane made its own engine noise in the form of laughter.
As she flew over the lamp a call from the control tower came in, “Oh do be careful witz her, Cedric!”
With a dismissive tone Cedric replied “Oh its alright; look how much she loves it!”
As he swung Merideth by her mother she pressed her wing to her mouth and blew a kiss toward her. “Mama!” she called out, then set her arm back into a wing position, and continued laughing.
“See?” Cedric stated, and then continued his propeller noises. He made another swing with her and her laughter began stuttering. “Oh did I squeeze you too tight?” He turned her around and looked at her.
Her face was beaming, her eyes were radiant, and her cheeks were wet with tears. “Papa!” she almost shouted, her voice stuttering like she was crying.
Nesma ran over to see for herself. “What's wrong? Is she hurt?”
Cedric could only stammer. “I... She...”
“Papa!” Merideth cried again, “Mama! Papa!” She held her hands out toward them and continued sobbing.
“Nesma, she... She's crying but she looks so happy...”
“Mama an' Papa!” she cried out with a stuttering voice.
Nesma took her into her arms, and the child wrapped her arms around her. She began gently bouncing her and making a shushing noise. “Shh shh, it's okay, it's okay, what's wrong?”
“Mama an' Papa!” she called out again, her voice choking up and stuttering, tears still dripping down her brown cheeks, but with a radiant smile she cried again, “Mama an' Papa!”
Cedric gently pet her head. “I don't understand, why is she crying? But I... I've never seen her so happy before...”
As if she could sense his worry, Merideth looked up at him and held out her tiny hand toward him. “Papa!” She said with a wide smile.
Cedric took her hand between his fingers. “Yes, I'm your Papa; why are you crying?”
Merideth seemed almost to be holding back her tears for a moment while she looked at him. In a soft tone she simply stated “Papa an' Mama!”
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Merideth's face lit up the moment Cedric opened the door. “Papa's home!” She got up from the papers she was doodling and ran to him.
With a smile almost as wide as his arms he bent down and grabbed her, lifting the giggling child into the air. “Aw, Mary, look how big you're getting!” He didn't set her down until he got to the kitchen where his wife was chopping vegetables. He greeted her with a kiss and an arm around her waist.
“Oh gwoss, mushy stuff!” Merideth said with a knowing smile and a giggle. She ran back to her papers, the tight curls of her dark-brown hair bouncing with each step.
“What's wrong?” Cedric asked in a quiet tone.
“What do you mean?” Nesma said in an equally quiet tone.
“I've been gone for two weeks, and you're acting like this. You're upset about something.”
Nesma stopped cutting and looked at the floor despondently. “...I had anozher miscarriage.” she said at last.
Cedric's countenance fell into a somber expression. He rested his cheek against her forehead. “It's okay; we have Mary. She'll be enough.” He gently rubbed his hand on her back and pecked her cheek before stepping out of the kitchen.
As he approached his daughter, Merideth asked “What does that mean? What Mama said?”
Cedric forced a smile. “It's just something for us grown-ups to worry about. What are you drawing?” He knelt down to get a better look.
“I'm pwacticing my alphabet.”
“Your alphabet? You're not drawing a picture of Mama and Papa?” He reached over and picked up the paper. He looked over her characters carefully. His forced smile melted into a stunned expression. “This is... This is really good, actually... How old are you again?”
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“So how was school today, Mary?” Cedric asked while dipping his bread into his stew. “Are you making any friends?”
Merideth turned her head to the side. “No...” she said with a despondent tone.
“Did you learn anything?”
“...Not really.”
“No? What did you study?”
With a concerned look Merideth set down her spoon. “Papa, could I get home-schooling instead?”
“Home-schooling? What do you even mean?”
“I mean I could get books and just study on my own here.”
“Leave ze school?” Nesma spat out, “But you were so excited to go to school!”
Merideth furled her lips but didn't say anything. 'Of course I was excited. Last time I never had school until I was 18, and I always knew I was different because of it. First I didn't fit in because I didn't know enough. Now I don't fit in because I already know everything.'
Cedric's tone was marked by his fatherly concern. “Did something happen at the academy? Was someone mean to you?”
Merideth slowly shook her head. “No, it's not that; they don't teach at the right pace for me, and too much of what we study is stuff I already know... I'm just wasting time there not learning the things I really need to know!”
Cedric set his spoon down. “Merideth, it was really hard to get you into that school! Spring Hill is the finest academy in the whole country! That's where all the generals and the top politicians take their children!”
“Are you not fitting in?” Nesma asked, “Is zis because you're not making friends?”
Merideth sighed. “It really is about the pace that we're learning, but I thought I could bear with it. I thought maybe I would make a few friends, and... Well, I know it's important to build relationships with others, especially people my age, but... All the other students... They're all children!”
Cedric frowned. “Well of course they're all children, what did you expect? They are the same age as you.”
Merideth let out another sigh. “No, they're not, they're really not...”
“What do you mean?” her mother asked. “Is it because older children go there too?”
Merideth looked at her parents in silence for a minute. With heavy shoulders she at last said “Mama, Papa, there's something I should tell you. Maybe I should have told you a long time ago...”
Merideth drew a slow breath before speaking in a very serious and somber tone. “Before I was born, I had another life. I grew up, and I lived... in a different world. I had a life, friends, a job, and even a husband, eventually. But one day I... Well, I died, it seems. And then I found myself here, re-born in this world, as your daughter. I remember everything from my last life, just as if I had woken up on a new day; from bleeding on the side of the road, to being in the maternity ward with Mama, waiting for Papa to arrive.”
Cedric and Nesma looked at each other; Cedric's face showing a great deal of skepticism while Nesma's looked more confused.
The mother spoke first. “You mean you were... reincarnated?”
Merideth nodded, “I think that's the word, yes.”
Nesma looked a little worried. “Mary, dear, zhink about what you are saying! You're trying to tell us zat for some reason you just gained all zese memories of a former life? Zat's... Well...”
Merideth held up her hands as if to gesture. “I've been this way since I was born! Certainly you noticed that I was different from other babies? I remember you noticing! I remember Papa being worried about me because I was sad all the time!
“Or why do you think I was so easy to potty train? I was already potty trained; I just couldn't physically get to the toilet on my own! In fact I tried to make it easier on you; I remember one day I tried to get you to change my diaper before I went, since I figured it would be easier for you to clean if it wasn't all smooshed up. I tried to convince you that I needed changing, and then I waited until Papa had me on the changing table before I let it out. ...But since he didn't know what I was planning it just made a bigger mess. And then Papa called me a... 'little shit.' I haven't heard anyone use that word around me, so I think I know what it means.”
Nesma glared at her husband. “Cedric! I told you not to use such words around her!”
Cedric stammered defensively. “What? But – I – She was only a baby she couldn't remember what I said!”
Nesma stood her ground. “Well clearly she did!”
Cedric lowered his head and waved his hands. “Look look, that's not the point right now. The issue is this whole reincarnation story.” He looked at his daughter. “Merideth, I know you are a special girl, but this doesn't make sense. If you've had memories from a past life this whole time, then –”
“It's not just memories, Papa!” Merideth boldly declared, “It's not just me remembering things; it IS me! I am the same person, I just went into a new body! I'm an adult! I'm nearly 50; I'm older than you!”
Cedric tried to continue as if he was never cut off. “If you've really been this way this whole time, then why do you only bring this up now? It still sounds like some cheap excuse to get out of school!”
Merideth's eyes drooped. “...Because I've enjoyed being a child; I've enjoyed being your child. In my first life...” She drew a breath as her head looked down at her bowl. “...In my first life, I was an orphan.” Her voice became slowly filled with tears. “My mother died when I was seven and I never knew my father. I grew up alone on the streets of Mumbai. I never got to have a real childhood. This new life I have... with you...” She looked up again, her tears still flowing. “I could have never dreamed of having this opportunity! I get to have a mama and a papa! I get to have a new childhood, with parents! And with a meal every day and bed to sleep in every night!
“I can't even begin to tell you how much this has meant to me! Of course I've played along and acted like a little kid! It meant I got to have the childhood I never thought could be possible! I...” Another wave of tears gushed out and Merideth's throat grew tight with a lump. “...I have parents now! I'll gladly be a child again to have real parents!”
The table grew silent except for Merideth's stuttered breathing. After a moment she wiped her face and continued. “...I'm sorry; I should have told you sooner; I thought about it so many times. But I... I've been so afraid of what that would do. I didn't want to risk losing my new childhood. I... Maybe I shouldn't have said anything now.”
They ate in silence for a minute. At last Cedric quietly stated. “Merideth... Mary, you've always been special. I won't deny that. You're very smart, you're gifted, and... But... This just isn't how things are done.”
Nesma looked at her daughter with pain in her eyes. “I'm sorry dear, but your fazher's right. People don't get reincarnated like zis; it just doesn't happen.”
Merideth tightly pressed her lips together. She drew in a slow breath. “Fine then. Tomorrow, I'll prove it to you.”
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The following morning Merideth went to the academy early, with her mother accompanying her. They found their way to a lecture hall for the teenage students in their final year, where a young math teacher was reviewing notes while waiting for the first bell.
Merideth approached the teacher. “Excuse me,” she said politely, “could you show me one of the math books that the high-schoolers use?”
The teacher looked down at her with a tender smile. “Oh, you want to see the kind of math that the big kids use?” He reached into the cubby-hole under his podium and pulled out a thick text book. He opened it to one of the early pages and said in a soft pandering voice “This is called 'geometry,' it has lots of pretty shapes and...”
Merideth grabbed the book from the teacher and walked up to the chalkboard while flipping to a random page. She quickly drew one of the problems on the board and then set the book down. She quickly stepped through the problem and presented the solution. She picked up the book again and flipped to a random page near the end. She drew another problem onto the board and worked out its solution.
The teacher stared in disbelief. “Uh, that is...”
'These are too easy,' Merideth thought to herself as she finished the problem. She looked over to the instructor. “Do you have anything more advanced?” she asked.
The teacher just stammered. “Uh- well, uh...”
Merideth walked over to the podium and took the text book that was sitting on the top. She began flipping through some of its pages. 'Hmm, this is trigonometry. I don't really want to do any of this without a calculator, but I guess I have to... Wait a minute, I recognize this one! This was the Professor Layton puzzle from that Awkward Zombie comic!' She walked back to the chalkboard and began copying a series of concentric circles and squares.
The teacher called out, “Little girl, that one is not for this class, that book is actually for my...”
Merideth began writing out an equation. “This is the equation you'd use to mathematically find the value...” She began redrawing the series of circles. “...but it's actually not needed. If you simply rotate the middle square, it becomes much more obvious that it is naturally half the size of the larger square, no math required.” She scribbled 'b = ½ a' under the shape.
The teacher stared at the chalkboard in disbelief. He drew in a breath to speak.
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A moment later Merideth stood out in the hall with her mother. “Well, that's twice now that I've heard that word. Are people not supposed to say that in front of women, or is it just not in front of children?”
Nesma looked down at her daughter, her face still firmly locked in a stunned expression.
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Cedric's day was just business as usual. With nothing exceptional going on and a shortage of meetings he was compelled to attend, he had found himself in a number of occasions where he had time to think. And in these moments he thought about what his daughter had said just the night before.
Of course it was impossible, but it certainly was a cleverly fitting lie. After all, Merideth had been an unusual child. The idea that she was a reincarnation with a full adult mind fit very well into her behavior, especially in her first year. The more that Cedric recalled, the more this story revealed how cleverly it nestled in. Yes, it certainly was a very well-placed lie.
The way she acted when she saw a newspaper, the way she tried to read at an early age, how much more gentle and well-behaved she was compared to her cousins, no, compared to any other child. And of course, the way she cried when she was a newborn, not wailing, but just shedding tears. Yes, it was a very convenient lie, her behavior could be much like someone who had lost everything and everyone.
Cedric saw more and more, and he felt something uncomfortable in the pit of his stomach. He felt it particularly as he made his way home. He paused for a moment before he opened the door.
'She said she would prove it to us... What could she do to prove it?'
As he walked inside he saw his six-year-old daughter laying on the rug in the living room, reading a textbook. She looked up and greeted him, and then eagerly turned back to her reading, her face obscured by her many dark-brown curls. His wife was sitting on the couch with an anxious look on her face. She quickly grabbed some papers sitting on the coffee table and made her way over to him.
Nesma spoke in a quiet tone. “Cedric, look at zese!”
Cedric replied in an equally quiet voice. “What is this?”
“Zese are test results,” she continued, “We went to ze school and she took tests for... I don't recall what zey called them, but zey were tests for ze whole school, for every grade?”
“Graduation exams?”
“Look at zese matz tests!” Nesma already had the math tests on the top of the stack. “Cedric, I've never seen zis kind of matz! She even solved problems one of ze teacher was studying, from beyond what ze school teaches!”
Cedric flipped through the pages. It was impossible, utterly impossible, but the math tests were just as she described. He checked her work, and it all looked impeccable.
“Her science tests, she knew everyzing except ze words! She talked to the teacher and described everyzing! Cedric, where did she learn all zis? Zere's never been any time she's spent away from us! Zere's no way she could have ever learned zis! Not unless...” She looked back at her child.
Cedric flipped through the pages. The results continued to be incredible, and yet also all over the place. The history exam was almost blank. The language results were technically a failing grade. “She... She really did this? You saw her?”
“Yes, Cedric, yes! She knows it all already! She already knows! Everyzing except ze Norlish tests. It's my fault; I don't speak it good enough; she's learning bad Norlish from me.”
“No, no dear, this is still higher than someone her age should be able to do.”
“Oh really?”
“Yes, really, she...” Cedric looked back toward his daughter. The knot in his stomach tightened. “What are those books she's reading?”
“I... I'm sorry Cedric, but ze teachers agreed wizh her. Ze head, uh, ze boss-teacher, he said she would be better off zis way, to study at home and come back later.”
Cedric could feel his face drop, but he knew he couldn't even try to maintain a stoic composure. He walked over to his daughter and sat down on the rug next to her. She looked up from her textbook. They both sat there silently for a moment.
“So...” Cedric began, “your mother showed me your test results. You... You are really good at math.”
With a soft smile Merideth replied, “I worked as an engineer for over fifteen years. It's practically second-nature to me.” Her eyes grew a little distant. “It was quite the tragic miracle that enabled me to get an education. I suppose I should tell you that story...”
Cedric didn't quite respond, but his mouth warbled as if he was chewing his tongue. Finally he just said “Perhaps we should put you in a higher grade?”
Merideth shook her head. “I thought about that, but there's no good place for me. I really need my history at a first-grade level, and Norlish at a third-grade level, and they don't even teach foreign languages until the sixth grade. Besides, this way I can spend more time with you and mama!”
Cedric began sifting through the textbooks. Most of them were history books. He paused when he came to the foreign language book she had brought home. “Argish?” He looked up at her. “You know Mary, the Argus Empire isn't exactly one of our friends.”
Merideth nodded with a bit of a smile. “That's why it's important to learn their language, especially since they are right next door.” She put a bookmark in her textbook and closed it. She looked Cedric in the eye. “Do you want to learn it with me?”
“What?”
“Come on, it will be fun to have a study partner! Besides, it would probably help your career.”
Cedric thought for a moment. He couldn't deny that knowing some Argish might be useful.
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Nesma scrubbed the last dinner plate and placed it in the rinse water. She lightly shook her head with a smile. “No matter how long I live in zis country, I will never get tired of being able to just turn a handle and have clean water right in ze house.”
Merideth pulled the last plate out of the sink and began drying it with the cloth. “It's even better when you have a second handle that gives you hot water.”
“How would such a zhing even work?”
“It's simple, really. You just have a large tank with a gas burner to keep it warm... Actually... I could build one, it wouldn't be hard. I recall how the safety release valve works, I just need some tools and some supplies...”
Merideth stood on her toes and reached up to the cabinet to put the last plate away. She then scampered to the living room where her father was sitting. “Papa, do you have any tools for working metal?”
Cedric looked up at his daughter, his face clicking out of the distant expression that had been dominating his countenance. “I'm sorry dear, what was that?”
“I was thinking I could build a water heater. I know how to build one, I just need the supplies.”
Cedric shallowly nodded his head. “Because you're an engineer. Right. You were an engineer for fifteen years, so you know how to build things.”
Merideth wasn't sure how to read her father's expression. He seemed distant, and there was some kind of pain behind his eyes.
Cedric shook his head and turned up his hands. “I'm sorry Mary, I don't have any tools like that. Not for building things.”
Her mother sat down on the couch and gently smoothed the pleats of her dress. “Mary, I've been zhinking... Well, about zis past life of yours. You said you were an engineer, but... Well I feel like I don't know anyzing else about you.”
“And an orphan,” Cedric stated with a dry tone. “We know that, too.”
“...Right.” Merideth nodded slightly. She felt a little nervous, knowing full well how suspicious her story sounded. Before dinner she held off on telling that story because her father looked distant and inattentive. But she still wasn't sure quite what he was thinking. Perhaps he didn't know himself. “Well I guess... Did you want to know more?”
Cedric was quick to ask, “What was your name?”
Merideth promptly responded. “Odessa.”
“That sounds pretty,” Cedric replied. “What does it mean?”
'Is he grilling me to find holes in my story?' “...It's a city. I've never been there.”
Nesma asked softly, “Were you married?”
Merideth nodded, “Yes I was.”
Cedric continued with a dry tone. “What was his name?”
“Darren. He worked as a... um, he repaired counting-machines. I don't know what to call them; we don't have them here.”
Cedric softly nodded. “Right, right.” His demeanor appeared like he was suspicious, but there was still something uneasy behind his eyes, as if there was an uncertainty he could not shake.
Nesma spoke up. “What about children? Did you have any children?”
“Um, no...” Merideth looked down despondently.
“No children?” her father asked with a mild interest. “But I thought you had said you were older than us?”
“Darren and I...” she exhaled a bit, “we never got married until late in life. I was almost... I'm sorry I don't know the words, but my monthly cycle was already slowing down. Honestly we weren't sure if I could have children anymore. We were both in our 40's.”
Cedric's interest seemed piqued. He looked at her with a genuine mix of concern and curiosity. “Why so late?”
Mary smirked. “Well if you ever met Darren, you'd probably see why he never got married sooner. He had a real problem around women. He got nervous and awkward. Plus, it didn't really help that he was into... Well, the word we used was 'nerd.' He was really into nerdy things, and most girls don't like those kinds of guys.” She smiled wistfully. “He was really lucky that I liked that stuff too. I would quote Star Wars just as often as he would.” She giggled.
Cedric gestured with his hand. “Okay, but why didn't you get married sooner?”
The wistful expression disappeared from Merideth's face. “Well I... For a long time I just turned away from men's advances. I was certain that no one would really want me. I was...” She spun her hand around in a nervous circle. “How do I translate this... a hurt sale? Hurt wares?”
Nesma was confused. “Hurt wares? What does zat mean?”
Merideth put her hand over her mouth and thought for a moment. “So, if you go to the store, you buy the box of crackers that is nice and is full. You don't buy the box that was crushed and is opened already and someone ate some of the crackers.”
Cedric's eyes were wide like a deer in headlights. “But... why would you feel like a bad box?”
Merideth let out a despondent sigh. “Growing up on the streets, I was... I don't know the words because people don't talk about these things in front of children, but... You know... When a man is with a woman, but the woman says 'no,' but the man is with her anyway?”
The color flushed from Cedric's face. “No... No! Oh God, no!” He leaped forward and wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in the top of her dark-brown hair. “Not my precious little girl! Oh God, no!”
Merideth was stunned. There weren't many people that Odessa had told this to, but no one had ever reacted with such emotion before. Bishops and therapists, while understanding and helpful, never quite had the personal connection Odessa felt she wanted. Even Darren had been quick to dismiss her past with statements akin to “well it's not like that was your fault.” On some level it was good to see that he felt that her past didn't matter, but at the same time, she still felt like it should matter. It was terrible, it hurt, and that pain did matter.
But in this moment, with this large and stoic man sobbing into her hair, she finally found something she forgot she was looking for. Cedric was hurt too. Her father was genuinely sharing in her pain.
Merideth wrapped her arms around him, and they both began crying.
“It's okay, Papa... It's okay. Odessa was hurt, but Merideth is still pure.”
“No, it's not okay Mary, it's not okay.”
Merideth felt the walls around her heart begin to fall apart. Reflexively she began to shut up her emotions, hiding them away from herself. And then she heard another sob coming from Cedric.
Her father.
The father she had forgot she always wanted, who couldn't even bear to hear about something that happened to a different body nearly thirty years ago.
Her mother was there too, with her arms wrapped around them both, crying just as hard as her father.
Merideth released her grip around her heart. The walls around her heart melted, and then flowed out of her eyes.
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It was another two days before Merideth felt she could finish addressing this subject with her parents. They gathered in the living room again, and Merideth spoke of various things from her past life before they approached the same topic as before.
She didn't have the heart to tell her father about how frequently she was violated, or her youthful relationships where it was hard for her to tell if she was giving permission or not. She imagined that she could adequately describe how damaged she felt as a young adult, but it seemed like it wasn't necessary to explain this.
But there was still something she wanted to explain to him.
“But it is okay, Papa, because of Darren.”
“Darren?” Cedric asked.
“The man who became my husband. You see, he never gave up on me, even though I turned down his proposal at first. When he found out about my past, he did everything he could to help me heal. He convinced me to see a... Um, a doctor for emotions? It took some time, and Darren was always there for me... He helped me to feel valued...” Merideth sat in silence for a moment. When she spoke again, her voice quavered and her throat was choked with tears. “Oh Papa, I miss him so much! He was the only man who really cared for me! I...” She wiped the tears from her cheek.
Cedric wrapped his arm around her shoulder. In a soft voice he declared. “I wish I could meet him.”
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When the newspaper arrived on their doorstep with the declaration of war in a big and bold headline, no one in the Weston household was surprised. Cedric of course knew before the paper was printed. Nesma had heard enough from her husband across the previous weeks that she was almost surprised that the war wasn't declared sooner. Merideth saw the similarities to her own history, but even if she hadn't, she knew all she needed to know from her father's increased interest in practicing Argish.
The whole family had gathered to see Cedric off. Merideth stood by her mother with a vacant expression while Uncle Richard gave a hearty handshake and Aunt Phyllis gave a hearty hug. James waved his hands exuberantly, so excited to see his uncle leave to fight in a glorious war, telling his younger siblings about how great this was.
Cedric knelt to look his daughter in the eye. She had grown tall enough that from this kneeling stance he had to look up to make eye contact.
“Papa...” Merideth said softly as a tear began rolling down her cheek.
“It's okay, Mary,” he said in a soft tone. “This isn't the first time I've fought in a war. I'll come home again just like I did last time.” He looked toward Nesma. “Well, except this time I won't bring a new wife back with me.”
“But Papa,” Mary stated, “this war won't be like that one, you know it. This war, with all these new advances...”
“Hey hey hey, shhh...” He gently placed his hand under her chin. “Even if it turns into that 'world war' you described, it won't be like that with me.” He gently tapped the blue jewel on his chest. “I'm a mage, remember? I'll be flying well above the trenches, and I've got a very strong shield to protect me from artillery.”
“I know Papa, but... Try to get promoted, will you? Get a nice safe desk job, away from the frontline, okay?”
Cedric smiled. “I'll do just that.”
Merideth wiped her face while Cedric said his goodbyes to his wife and then to his parents. He gave one final wave to everyone and then hopped up onto the truck. He stood on the passenger's side running board and looked out across the crowd of people. So many faces had shown up to see these soldiers off. A few reporters were there as well, taking photographs of the touching scene. One of the trucks had already started pulling away, filled with another squadron. His squadron was beginning to gather at the back of his truck. He whistled and waved his arm at them. A few began hopping into the back and a few others got the attention of the remaining soldiers still making their goodbyes.
At this moment, Cedric's attention wasn't directed toward the eight men climbing into the back of this truck, nor at the other soldiers. Rather, he looked toward the families that came to see his men off. There was an unspoken promise he was making to these people, a promise to bring their loved ones back home.
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