09.200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Kp5UY841q
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課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryVJmzrUxP
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又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡywlBWKVc1E
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傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8wy4RdQBc2
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他回頭看向我，「嗯？」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlG1NCYxu8P
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LHfGV7Tgo
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNiKjdPUbRS
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「怎麼了？」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIUmLH8AbaU
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沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmoeFL0fX9G
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMKaIrb9Cow
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRsK52RPnP
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX7cLrHSXYU
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDTFRAw8Sqc
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3GGnZ02fjy
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡETIw7ofG8Q
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfrEWdY41C
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7PYn2tIpm
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdEcSVnx9n
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqjrwrUrkvj
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03xaqyQiuK
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGSj6MswTj
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnvkeZ9HnH4
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSz15NtsKA7
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTBMD2qnJHR
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNsJelzcfh
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRewbmcBR7H
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「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53Yg25tyUp
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDi0AQZIBto
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdretfnmdtN
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktn1JbUWZX
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiMi6z4PGl
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「也要。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOhVmdd0S3s
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圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnstvZkgTz
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我永遠不會忘記這一刻。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTImurBxUYF
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從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp2DhwKkHrD
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI1qqslGQtr
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyaeQfNTeo
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXVliqQ2tLS
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGIPiWGpsud
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ci54reX1I
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG6oonhkS44
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXq2tMX5GqS
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkgHYtfaoKl
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuH6bYW0xZE
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAVkFYJM0P5
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmBj4HWNCtP
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsxdsOQBHZy
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZRBAPzMn0x
「愛的本質？」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQU4HHh2oxs
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6ggC3LQWs
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6zYxDlyIi7
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67SdxS2q2J
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzVdbr7nCrj
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkrtGy5OUzV
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYHl4irdAsY
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再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjM0exMKcIh
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「新年快樂。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisVP1BW9sM
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站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoz6VxsaYTQ
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iOpKAibsV
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzy841KdnY
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我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6oXca9jWP
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「新年快樂，傑。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo5iDIMBw0L
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──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLW5jqQTSBP
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10.200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYm34dT9zpx
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夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhU2Yj4qWOT
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsQoV1ECFC1
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lGBWEPc91
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5aetCvUZN
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFPegAa7535
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHmysRcz37
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmZHJLSWYVC
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而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM09SA0BbJH
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6oepapyH4
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡziATtbZurj
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隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcC6vem9lZX
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我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKINqNtg6k
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一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQd1pbxcUoR
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Ofe5TZqLN
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpwHfLrwpkT
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電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTtYPh9aUsf
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIJzyFTDUEQ
他對我說：不進來嗎？200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv6UCloXmTF
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室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOORCj56zA
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcVRj1mH4lZ
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ18Fz6TsRp7
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXJ2SJWa6Li
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUe3G3dh3E1
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「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjpIfgi4gO
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惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpKqF5eFKp7
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就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqJkCSKHlk
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我好像從未了解過他。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZI3adBWiW
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我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitqpwXVQPe
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「是你嗎？」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacRFdM29A6
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是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwnVr1xK03J
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMo0oWZoKs7
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmPe0OJNNI
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WtLHK1rxY
夏油傑笑了一下。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAaCWEWL3i
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaY5JjdPUpx
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUSzyQbwKs9
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLoacya5lhB
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZ7hrcHhhg
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPA7t812wel
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiRrYpY2UBI
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQsybY9fDYJ
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRwbMLUC2B
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡapHy8nI1US
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpBfBkn40ZZ
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都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzMxZNRP4SN
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但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡior1aN4bXa
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攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT0sR9iVNHD
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「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyMWowb7qbF
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPKIV9K53kJ
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBxhjiGExiW
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就這樣吧。200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9DE4tKd6I7
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200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKHQgWoE6dk
200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNI8CTOdsvE
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKfXDMcwkbB
240815 10 二修200Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Bvv5OFwNj
然後按「加至主畫面」