09.245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwOeWDpUihy
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課業繁重，人際不順，升上高校之後的日子過得並不能算得上好。但我向來是報喜不報憂的性子，因此即使是夏油傑，我也沒向他吐露半點不快。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn0CrA3SiI7
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又是一日放學。我一出校門就看見夏油傑站在樹蔭底下，他自然地拿走我的包，一手牽起我，帶著我走往熟悉的方向。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pmP9DgVsG
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傑。我突然停下腳步，輕聲喊他。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0bXXQiBeTS
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他回頭看向我，「嗯？」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSrjX2TusH
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSm8U7UHObd
盯著夏油傑額上溢出的薄汗，我墊起腳尖用手帕替他擦拭。要不我以後自己走回家吧？我問。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJArMFF9kz
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「怎麼了？」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmjb23w3uH
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沒什麼，我搖搖頭，「太熱了，捨不得你等。」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVMnzvZH8z
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVFR3imEW3T
暑夏已至，正是咒靈好發的時節，夏油傑的工作量肯定是只增不減。雖然我天天見他，很難察覺他具體的改變，但也不難看出最近的他正處於極度疲憊的狀態中。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSExKilp81y
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEPxPxirj0X
「還好。」他言簡意賅地回應我。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ78NQ8GyG7y
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEKd75LFtN
騙人，你話都變少了。我說，「連你的瀏海看起來都沒元氣了啦。」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsPbOl0X86Y
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaik62vZGS3
「……」夏油傑看向我的眼神逐漸不善。我連忙告饒討好，語帶撒嬌，「開玩笑的、開玩笑的──原諒我嘛──」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbM2nsZMlKI
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9jVMZJqjDd
經我這麼一插科打諢，氣氛總算有所緩和。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1Z2QiKoqv
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEvKjosVry
不過我真的很擔心你，我說。又是苦夏嗎？245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSuGB7HeXg
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACvJBIJpcp
他說對。我對他的回答毫不意外，「那挑一天來我家吧？我們一起吃冰鎮西瓜怎麼樣？」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVdNbAjHeO
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBLt5yDGNUl
夏油傑凝視我，他最後伸手輕撫我的髮絲，柔聲說好。我顯而易見地鬆了一口氣，近日的疲乏感似乎隨著他的動作一掃而空。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQPHaXfih4
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAUs1lDNnH6
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡla0BCVm6Vy
「除了冰鎮西瓜以外，還想吃什麼？」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFbdop4ce9f
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOTyEkoBels
「唔，綠豆湯吧。」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqsr57Bakq
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfi55OllsY
「好呀，那蕎麥麵呢？」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY5HTkxGwIH
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3wBMzKWFzD
「也要。」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO6iel3L1rr
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245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShWgWvNgQy
圍繞在他身邊，我一路叨叨絮絮，像極一隻嘰嘰喳喳的鳥兒；而他背對夕色，看向我的眼神繾綣而溫軟。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHLfWmEEcrO
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcsUoRTTVP
我永遠不會忘記這一刻。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuoyvIvwiex
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從那之後我開始自己上下學──花費整整一個月的時間，我才終於習慣「沒有夏油傑在身邊」這件事情。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAtGVx2rkn
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1Br1jJKAWA
但還是難免想念。以前總覺得愛就是無時無刻的陪伴與關注，但在這三十個幾乎見不到他的晝夜裡，我卻突然有了新的看法。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOaMovLQfXl
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmP0Kx3ZWWf
我開始將注意力擺放在夏油傑以外的人身上。下課時和幾個不錯的同學說說話，一起去逛喜歡的店家，假日偶爾約出去吃飯；放學走在熟悉的小徑上，我察覺到一旁的樹叢終於開了小小的花，是我喜歡的顏色。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmogb25Q39
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ZeIlx0NqX
流動的風、落下的雨、搖晃的枝椏、落入耳裡的鈴鐺聲……我的世界變得多采多姿。不再是只有夏油傑，不再滿心滿眼都只有他。我知道我還是喜歡這個人，但我的生活卻因為與愛人的分離變得更美好──而我就會在這些美好的瞬間想起他。想跟他一起坐在虹龍上，看每一場東升西落；想跟他一起手牽著手，走過長長的街道。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzs1wGWcoYX
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGS8avyZMmm
正因為聚少離多，所以才明白與他相處的每分每秒是多麼珍貴。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVKVcdC741
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNeqW6xfEVQ
「分離使我意識到愛的本質。」我傳給他的簡訊上這樣寫著。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIJY2DFDIh
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkYmgXyl8r6
愛是彌補彼此的缺陷，是兩個破碎靈魂的相擁。我眼看鏡子裡笑容日漸燦爛的自己，心想自己大概也擁有那種包容一切的力量了。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFOoynVf40
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbTQBu3oHu
「愛的本質？」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXiIss0UWef
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEAD20nT8Za
「是啊。」我回應他，「我覺得愛是寬容。」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvfpwm7cz8M
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0Di8Z7T4u
放你飛翔，做你的歸巢。在你不在身邊的時候將自己活得出色，以最好的姿態迎接你。我想這是愛吧？245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNmbHD0i4w3
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8QlzHkupE
「……你說的對。」半晌，他回應我。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0pwfeOSF9z
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM69uRdB443
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYZ69EebtQT
再見到夏油傑的時候已經是過年的事情。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLM5hQ0tfc3
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bqcdqCz8n
「新年快樂。」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXTujtcrOWc
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站在我家門口，他身影單薄，臉上的微笑仍然好看。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAgZWtlv5w
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCye1zRmAUp
很難肯定是不是錯覺，但是幾月不見的夏油傑，我的男友，我的愛人──他似乎變得很陌生。這個認知讓我有些無所適從。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVppUfQNdSw
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSf50akcAIn
我看著他，最後只能擠出一個微笑。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsb10o6A0EG
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「新年快樂，傑。」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ443CRHZlgW
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──或許關係就是這樣破滅的。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNo2lkL8zV
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10.245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDPqZwBU1Cj
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夏油傑向來很寵我。這點無論是交往前還是交往後都是。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvc1SHXZFZ
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpMolNUuTQs
以前只當是他對於鄰居妹妹的愛護之心而已，又或者是個性使然──畢竟他從小到大都是優等生，名氣響亮到街坊鄰居沒有人不知道他；說白點，「夏油傑」這三個字就是父母們拿來教育小孩的名詞。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0MW1bmdlQ
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7acieku3bw
還記得那時才剛搬家不久，爸爸媽媽出差去了，於是家裡又只剩下我一個。這種事對我而言並不稀奇，反倒是夏油一家得知這件事情之後，便隔三差五地喊我去他們家吃飯。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbR1tzEbLbO
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKgq33h9HAG
我臉皮薄，不大好意思經常打擾他們一家，有時也會推托找些藉口婉拒夏油阿姨的好意。然而姓夏油的大抵都是貼心的性子，在察覺到我的難為情後，他們開始換各種方式明裡暗裡地照顧我。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZBcXQh2AMI
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOsmdfJVNs
而夏油傑就是那道讓我跟他們產生更多交集的橋樑。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnRIuVUXyK
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2czhfvnqN
我跟他差不了多少歲，每天一起上下學，夏油傑時常拎著父母特別叮囑要交給我的便當，然後笑眯咪地找各種說詞讓我收下──我覺得其實這對他來說大概算不上什麼難事，因為他很聰明。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyQD5WJnf2X
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隨著時間遞進，我們更熟悉一些之後，我也未曾深思這個問題。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLduYw4Vx4c
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXlHjnqhB0
我只知道他從最初我們認識的那時就對我很好。一直都對我很好。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5FBKL18gA
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkt6lNOJIH
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXgS0RpUzub
一推開家門就聞到濃濃的血腥氣。我拿著手機有些腳軟，腦袋空白了好幾秒之後只想到要打給夏油傑──轉念一想，他大概還在出任務也說不定，於是改成打報警電話。但就在我準備撥通的時候，夏油傑打過來了。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2UthFuygc
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdb7EMIVmxJ
我連忙接起，不敢大聲說話：「傑……」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1NE8NOj9zL
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電話那端傳來的聲音聽上去有些失真。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1Dw7azv5s
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91hLeKEht6
他對我說：不進來嗎？245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5Sm1Tzh87
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室內傳來的聲響與他說話的聲音近乎同步。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8jbeesvWji
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdRFF6TI1Qy
前方客廳的門被緩緩地、緩緩地推開。是夏油傑，他握著手機的那隻手還舉在耳邊。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5SmERt7e4x
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwDztE8ASj
正在聽電話那頭傳來的，急促的呼吸聲。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtdzSwjQraK
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeHswcBEpLT
「……不進來也沒關係，反正你走不掉的。」他用一種令人毛骨悚然的溫柔語氣和話筒另一端的人說話。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzoJGWndQB
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCJwN4o3FR
惟有那雙棕色的晦暗視線，自始至終都停留在我身上，從未移開。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTWUhSJTuA
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就在此時此刻，我才突然驚覺，或許不僅僅只是如此。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYDL2GGocS
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我好像從未了解過他。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZa9tpHB2J
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我站在玄關處與他對視。側過臉的時候，還能看見一旁鏡子映照出自己蒼白的臉孔和閃爍的目光。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1RLMc0KeG
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「是你嗎？」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdEfZbfuehr
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是我──他用一種跟平常無二致的語氣如此回應。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GDaGjIJdH
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOfM2nvGYSp
「……我能問問為什麼嗎？」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWqnCi7xrhD
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WFhU5o235
夏油傑笑了一下。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzELprIPa3
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXp0mwloHXj
「我為什麼要跟猴子解釋理由？」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdupfBaXHD
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIzB1OemvDZ
──猴子。聽見這個尖銳而充滿冒犯的詞彙從他嘴裡出來的時候，我略感意外、又好像是意料之中地跟著笑了。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwNK20l8K0d
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ33UTRLHcPp
我知道夏油傑的性子並不若表面上那樣可親，他實際上是個慣於用上對下角度去看待世界的人；物以類聚，他若不傲慢，怎能跟五條悟處得來。他唯一和五條悟最大的差別便是他懂得偽裝，而且還裝得有模有樣，沒有人不被他那副溫柔的模樣給騙去。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Bp6ZZw4xX
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSRHFjEbbl
我想我也被騙了。擅自以為在他心裡，自己的存在和別人是不一樣的；以為他說過「他總是會保護我」便是一輩子的事情。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkV9PFy2Oo0
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ19IVPm3GML
我總是忘了那個「總是」，忘記自己不過是被選擇的那方，而他隨時可以將我踢出他的世界。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt6Bf3EOtG1
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都說同類相吸，而我們不是同類。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGZ5j8X5Ntf
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但我早該知道的。他那樣的人。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHtMhupL1vk
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245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCaWNiyTTBD
攔在身前的手臂強而有力，夏油傑曾經與我十指交扣過的右手此刻正覆在脖頸，原先順暢的呼吸隨著他加重的力道變得困難。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLbkLFhJNXa
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2WL10qpz10
「你要求的。」他說，「明明可以不用這麼死得這麼痛苦。」245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhGMNHwqXBV
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOz3pF27ZrE
溢出的眼淚模糊視野。看不清倒映在鏡裡的畫面，也說不出隻字片語，連思考都費力，更枉論掙扎。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0kT9s7xRPe
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就這樣吧。245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroZ73eBOzE
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245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOI5d8Os7jr
245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZlxfx1x9u
231118 梔涼｜匿名交流單245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlh7RRSWMFq
240815 10 二修245Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4ad3LuMHU2
and then Add to home screen.