Some days I miss the feeling of normalcy one where I was a happy innocent child wearing Disney pajamas laughing happily with my friend54Please respect copyright.PENANATYxHAO0xhW
Some days I miss the feeling the fire was pressed onto the soles of my feet the way it'd sting and be gone in a flash54Please respect copyright.PENANALMAoOFGmHs
Before and after it all are two very different stories one day I loved being at that trailer and the next I fought against it, one day I loved wearing those pajamas the next I wish they'd burn and I suppose those were normal reactions associated to the trauma but then there was fire54Please respect copyright.PENANARYhE6UXY0n
I used to hate it I was afraid of it until the day came where I suddenly craved it apart of my daily routine light a match or flick a lighter smoke a cigarette and I was the ashtray54Please respect copyright.PENANAN1rIGCZC1k
This pain was new one I liked one I could get over one I craved but it brought my curiosity to new peaks I'd wait every smoke break to be the ash tray54Please respect copyright.PENANAiLHuXhYdxT
The smoker was gone one day and our secret remained but I missed the pain I tried to recreate it with new things I began to dip my hands into hot wax I'd sit under burning water until I felt nothing yet nothing compared to the tiny flames pressed into my soles54Please respect copyright.PENANA1iUgvEz1AK
My craving progressed but nothing quite got the itch until I met blade a new type of pain but one that felt similar to fire I'd press blade into places nobody could see or I'd create accidental scratches and my secret was kept till this very day54Please respect copyright.PENANAAKJgNOBEK3
Blade had to end though I was always to scared of blade afraid I'd go to far or someone would notice so onto the next I searched and the craving kept growing but nothing was replacing blade or fire54Please respect copyright.PENANAtQTvAI0qM9
I met anorexia one night after refusing to eat one fateful accident turned into a habit anorexia introduced me to its friends bulimia and binge eating we created the perfect routine over eat purge fast for over a week at a time these three stayed the longest and still are around I suppose they're the ones who are hard to leave behind but the trio is my secret till this day and not one has noticed.54Please respect copyright.PENANArgMlonwX7B
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A Million Thoughts One Writer
Author:
Raelynn
ISSUE #54
The Five -Trigger Warning-
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