（第一部小說）貳。一位精神病人的異想世界 - 台版色戒冰雪（一）

台版色戒/冰。雪

台灣鄭玉晴！筆名臉書蔡玫君（森命禮儀）

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欸

伉哥哥

聽說中國祭出利台政策統台欸

欸

哥

那到時候

台灣親中的結果

人民不會有自由了啦

哥

危不危險

躲家裡算了啦

為甚麼

我瘋了似的一直講

不是偶然啦

我告訴你

小說喔

寫給你看的啦

讀者只有您一位啦

我只在乎你啦

您很慘啦

躲起來好惹啦

我保護你啦

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拜託啊

如果您

真的販毒又吸毒

以後你喔

死去哪啦

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啊那你

再繼續給我喝

再繼續因為酒錢不夠拼命惡性循環

你喔

欸

台灣都是個沒有明天的地方了

我全家為何掛了

台商的下場啦

懂了嗎？

整個世界可不可怕

原諒我吧！

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我

被神追著跑啦

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我嚇死的啦

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所以

公開個鬼！

哥哥

秘密逃走啦

知道嗎？

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我嚇死的啦

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我全家

欸

台商的下場

慘不慘

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我簡直變臉

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金錢是萬惡之首

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我恨透了啦

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我家本來沒這麼邪惡欸

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你以為

我瘋了嗎

對

我也不知道

為甚麼

我喔

瘋得莫名奇妙啊

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因為

看到你

深深地

被困住了

我真的是

受不了了

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簡訊

我不會再傳了

簡直是玩命

欸

去給真相吧

你媽啦

最後通碟啦

懂嗎？

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我嚇不嚇死

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我們以後

躲在主頁

就好了

訊息我不傳了

知道嗎

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你那些亂七八糟的朋友

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死了算了

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理她他啊

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逃走啦

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裝病躲家裡

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女人不是甚麼好東西啦

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知不知道

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所以我不會跟你連絡

我在主頁敞開

就是說

您沒有一定要聽我的啦

懂了嗎

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我看太多了

我自然是這樣囉唆

懂了嗎

我全家滅頂的後遺症啦！

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我不捨得

您

啊

不明不白的迷失了

懂了嗎？

我報您

救命之恩而已啦

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我也真的感覺到

你是誕生在甚麼鬼家庭啊

您的家人都不管你嗎

拜託啊

任著你這樣嗎

我家都已經讓我很傻眼了

啊那你家也沒好到哪

我喔

沒見過您們這種

欸

你在外面這麼慘

你家人喔

拜託啊

我簡直變臉啦

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你還回甚麼家

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如果你家人這樣

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算惹啦

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我家喔

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我是又敢碰嗎

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拜託啊

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甚麼世界

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自己的親人欸

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我喔

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不小心有時候會六親不認啦

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我看透了

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我是病人欸

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我家人呢

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公開把我丟掉欸

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我告訴你

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我只丟一句話

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我不屑

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我媽喔

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拜託啊

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被我阿公趕出去

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我媽的婚姻這麼慘

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我阿公造成的

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我仁慈我就是假冒啦

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我簡直喔

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變臉狠狠一去不復返啦

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希望這樣

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我弟弟妹妹還能清醒啦

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台商的下場啦

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有錢來幹嘛啊

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哥哥

我只要你啦

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威向也回我了

我終於真的定稿了

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希望...

全台滅頂前

至少證明我們存在過！

啊

可悲啊

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全台滅頂

我抓以色列來陪葬啦

中國我就認了啦

去死啦

給我滾啦

把我的家人還給我啦

真正邪惡的

是以色列吧！

滾！

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冥城皇后的悲哀啊

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其實你的意思是

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你就是

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有一天

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可能被消音

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您說不出來

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所以回不來

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我也是

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其實

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真正在乎

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是說不出口的啦

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所以

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我恨透

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童話故事的謊言啦

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只是說

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沒人天生就聰明

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法人

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或許也不是故意的

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誰都不是故意去把自己搞得很敗壞

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只是不是天生知情

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後來不小心錯解了又遺憾生恨啦

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那就是

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在乎也就認了啦

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誰不是這樣啊

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啊不然喔

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當空氣就好了啦

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沒有肉身時

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自是如此啦

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所以

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要不要珍惜

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肉身還有感覺時

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痛也是因為在乎啦

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因為

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妳你是人啦！！

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吼！

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心理學喔

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啊

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我不補惹啦

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隨便啦

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我是能說嗎

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啊那不然喔

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全世界的人

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都離婚惹啦

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我是能說嗎

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沒有百分百的小說啦

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我只能說

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是體質啦

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所以你說

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美國都在幹嘛啊

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全部都是原文翻譯的吧

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我是能講嗎

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以色列是沒話說惹啦

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誰教神你死無對證！自己也推不掉

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美國誰敢碰啦

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北韓也不會愛妳你台灣的啦

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所以我句點的剛好啦

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我躲在主頁

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跟你說

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就好啦

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電影喔

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騙人的啦

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真正的實情

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演得出來嗎

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全部都是導出來的啊

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你說呢

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兒童福利的鬼

寫實吧！

嚇不嚇死人

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只是說

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耶穌基督更可怕

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那你說呢

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神搞出來的

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神就自己收拾啦

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全世界沒話講啦

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所以

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為何宗教沒得立法啦

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聯合犯罪的倒霉啦

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可是

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發源地都中東一掛的啦

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啊誰敢碰

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以色列祂活該啦

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中東不就爽了

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你說

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整個世界恐不恐怖！

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真正的鬼

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誰都不敢碰嘛

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神就自己收拾啦

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阿不然

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為何以色列可以殺主又是國

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可是不算有家啊

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有甚麼辦法

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以色列

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天天被中東欺負啦

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所以

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罵神牠（中東）就爽了啦

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我台灣

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早就全世界的替死鬼啦

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阿不然

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中國是搶來幹嘛

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中東跟美國有仇啦

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911

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真正的歷史

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誰寫得下來啊

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聽張雅琴說

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中東某小國

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跟美國有類似汙名化滅國的東西

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所以

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美國被恐攻啊

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聖經

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最大宗的翻譯

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源自美國吧

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English

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你覺得是甚麼

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英格利絲

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英

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可是呢

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人人都說

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是美國語

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欸

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中國國文又好到哪

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我的名字

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玫君

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中文譯

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紅色的美玉

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你覺得

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誰不會驕傲

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可是

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我才知道

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玫君的意思是

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女兒

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所以

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對父親來說

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女兒是很珍貴的

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但是

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玫君古字譯

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紅色的美玉

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君王

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暗示帝王之家

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那是中國的姓名啊

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台灣

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哪來的帝王

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國文在幹嘛

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台灣的名字

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都很難聽吧

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小一時

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台語都被改掉嘛

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台灣話是鬼話嘛

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中國你是拿牠有輒

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中國貪心了點

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而已

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比北韓好吧

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那美國槓北韓

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台灣

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親中也沒差啦

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日本是跟誰都沒仇的樣子

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到時候

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釣魚台牠是有輒喔

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媒體亂七八糟

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電影只能比喻

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律法不合理

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弔詭

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是故意的啦

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被騙走的小孩

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倒霉啦

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啊你又不能把她他關在家裡

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生來幹嘛啦

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都女生啦

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賤

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你們男生就很倒霉

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還竟然

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要被女生逼婚

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死惹算惹

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為甚麼

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我天生跟女生不合

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我就

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無法跟女生相處欸

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我簡直是

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所以我無法說話啊

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女生好可怕

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是男生比較會忌妒

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還是女生啊

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所以

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為甚麼吃善惡果的不是亞當啊

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所以為甚麼神說

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女生天生要受生產之苦啊

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應該說

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女生自做自受啦

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可是

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倒霉是小孩吧

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欸

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生了才知道

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回不去的痛欸

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那誰又是早知道

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怨誰啊

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神死惹算惹啦

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都那隻鬼

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蛇啦

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這是聖經說的喔

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那是甚麼意思啊

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神自己搞出來的啦

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所以為何

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亞當聽夏娃的

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所以

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男生天生就是比較良善

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懂嗎

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為何古時重男輕女嘛

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我如果有小孩

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兒子我會很擔心欸

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女兒喔

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我

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是能跟她說甚麼

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妳能說嗎

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所以為何林奕函的母親說

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性教育沒得教育啊

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有甚麼辦法

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因此

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亦函的事

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沒下文了啊

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那她死了欸

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你說呢

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會不會生氣啊

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那當初

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楊又穎

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也是受不了霸凌

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都是女生才會罷凌人家吧

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這樣欺負一個軟弱的藝人

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在幹嘛

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朋友都死去哪

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報警不就好了

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這...

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我氣死的啦

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我不是普通的火欸

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死了算了

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那一天

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我就感覺

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您

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你送我回到康家時

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我不知道欸

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你喔

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我感覺到

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你說我比較需要快樂

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您還有包垘

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跟爸爸吵架了

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又不能不回家

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你那一天

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我有感覺

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為甚麼

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我不是當天跟黃先生說

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我是早就說了

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您好像

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有話想跟我說的樣子

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反正

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如果一個人

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你聽到

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他所有表面上的陳述

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您是甚麼心情

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妳真的愛他

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會不會擔心

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愛是甚麼

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或許

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為何一個人會總是離不開一個人

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你愛上

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對方的傷痕啊

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殺人魔

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又如何

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也沒有

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真的殺妳啊

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所以

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因為

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殺人魔

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會有傷痕嗎

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愛上殺人魔的

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妳你需要擔心她他嗎？

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為何有些人

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天生不良善

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基因吧！

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欸

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體質！！

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我喔...！

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病到...

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成仙惹啦

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我

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頭腦

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算惹

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我喔

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所以我頭腦會不會爆炸

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您救了我吧！

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欸

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我

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惡夢一場

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您只有

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兩種可能

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一個就是

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你單純的說不出來

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所以您早就極限了

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才會這樣對我

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另一個就是

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你真的在求救啦

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第三種可能是

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你真的說不出來

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所以

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也只好

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求救吧！

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所以

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整個過程

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對你來說

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又何嘗好受

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因為我在乎

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所以不放棄啊

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我無法

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離開你

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因為我愛上你的傷痕啊

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懂了嗎

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所以

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你是不是很危險

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聽了你的故事

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我只能說

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欸

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我早就

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飄走了啦

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如果你從頭到尾

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是騙人的

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那你的表情總不會騙我吧

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所以

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我只有相信你真的遇到困難啦

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你媽都不管你嗎

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女朋友

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這樣欺負你

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欸

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你不回家

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你媽都不會找你喔

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那你爸又死去哪

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跟我一樣啦

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我家也沒好到哪啦

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所以我搞不清楚

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小孩是生來幹嘛的

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妳真的

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面對自己的小孩

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保護她他都來不及了

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怎麼會這樣呢

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所以

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爸爸媽媽也不是聖人啊

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她他們

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可能自己都

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軟弱吧

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所以為何

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您很牽掛您的家人啊

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我聽了您的故事

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幫忙你都來不及了

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這也算是

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另一種愛情吧！

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每個不同的交往對象

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都不會是相同的

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愛的程度

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每個對象不相同罷了

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還是那句老話

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我

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啊她就

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粉絲死惹算了啦

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你說呢

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直接講開

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我無法公開啊

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不是不愛妳了

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我真的

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家政教育的教授都死去哪

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沒人跳出來

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虧它還是賢妻良母系

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我簡直變臉！

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所以我鬼扯到完

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小說啦

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我氣瘋的

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全世界沒有好到哪！！！！！

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所以

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完美是不是很可怕

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無懈可擊

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也只是一個病人

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我的基因我的體質

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早就決定我的命運

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世界一向很公平

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人喔

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所以呢

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隨便！！

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所以呢

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愛到盡了

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你還會對我有興趣嗎

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只會覺得我很囉唆吧！

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那就聽歌吧

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老夫老妻圓寂的下場！

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啊所以我是你好朋友不就好惹...！

吼！

體。質！！！！！

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哥哥...

我現在都知道

您很愛我了！

哥

對不起

我不是一開始

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甚麼是愛

您很特別

是您

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哥...！

體會您給我的一切

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不是天生就聰明

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對不起魅

你給我的震撼實在是太大了

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全部是寫給你的

您驚不驚人

我只能說

是我莫大的恩寵吧！

謝謝您

永遠不回應我！

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永遠是快樂的

謝謝！

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我會用音樂

思念你

謝謝！

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哥哥...

我真的

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我也想要

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所以啊

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這世界太可怕惹啊

懂嗎？

我休息去了

暫掰！！

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哥哥是藝人吧

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我有甚麼辦法

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我幫你澄清啊

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百萬字的小說

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只是我沒寫

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藝人的下場

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因為誰都知道你是伉哥哥

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你的經濟人不會放過你吧

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你不要告訴我

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博達創意行銷是你的經濟人喔

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我簡直變臉

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潘先生喔

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他冷血得要死

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我知道

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中和

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我發到掛了

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他感謝張敏芳好了啦

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我告訴你啦

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他邪惡透頂了

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我就病到掛啦

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你給我消音閉嘴啦

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我讓你嚐嚐病人的可怕啦

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碟對碟你門都沒有啦

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神我都掐死了

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耶穌基督我是客氣你了

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真正的藝人泥沒見過啦

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我媽就是啦

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去死啦

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我告訴所有人

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精神分裂的可怕

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所以喔

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再欺負伉哥哥

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以色列被我殺死了啦

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所以

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經濟人我便宜你了

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日本的更邪惡啦

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挖出來都不能看啦

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粉絲死惹算惹

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你要的錢

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我給你就是了

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爭這些

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認了而已啦

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沒人知

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張敏芳從天而降

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法人對不起我啦

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不知情的狀況下

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悲哀又可怕吧

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阿不然

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哪來的劇情啊

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藝人喔

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不是人當的啦

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連

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真正國與國之間

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都弔詭的要死了

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邪惡又算甚麼啦

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總比

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戰爭好吧！

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電影也不敢亂演啦

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任何文字

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某種程度都是騙人的啦

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所以

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聰明人

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誰都不會去得罪

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冷默最安全！！

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盡信書不如無書

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所以為何

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教授全死光了

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美國自行負責吧

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這樣

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天下反而太平啦

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終於明白

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中國硬要台灣是為何了吧

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欸

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台灣大家忌妒死了

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不是國家欸

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以色列喔

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瘋了吧

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泥怨神吧

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所以聯合國之首美國沒事就被恐攻

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啊

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命啦

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所以

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國與國之間

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或許冷漠最安全

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中國是台灣的朋友啦！

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所以喔

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以色列恨透神

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耶穌被判死

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美國的聖經喔

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媽媽都跟她他

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講話話

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小孩不會敞開

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就完了

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小一寫字

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騙她他啊

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老師教你畫字

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小孩

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手抓筆

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口述

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再教她他

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字義

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月考掛惹啦

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家長要死要活了啦

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煩死了

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老師喔

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欸

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還要把句子解釋成童語

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教她他背

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學生會問妳你

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我們都要聽得懂

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然後用她他理解的邏輯

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校錯

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那

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啊不然

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有的小孩

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邏輯凹不過來

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就要通知家長

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看兒童心智科了啦

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誰說小一最好帶

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這種話講得出來

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安親班

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算惹啦

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邪惡透頂

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早知道

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幼教系的下場

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我第一次去安親班

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被小孩整吧

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主任只會兇我

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欸

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我

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鬼啦

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我甘脆說

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我的人生

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從小被整到大啦

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所以

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我是能說嗎

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可是

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這是重點

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我這個沒頭腦的人

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難怪黃先生把我關起來

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我現在

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知道了

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所以我覺得

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出版社

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才會說

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奕函姐

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那時候

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可是

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為何不幫她校稿

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為何不協助她

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那

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明知她的問題出在哪

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為何不說

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心理諮商都在幹嘛

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然後人死了

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還要被罷凌

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爸媽又死去哪啦

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我都哭了欸

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所以就是說

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作家要練習

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甚麼適合入鏡

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甚麼只能消音

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阿不然

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作者鐵定被罷凌！

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所以我告訴你

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到時候

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我就說

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我是病人

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我才會

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全部都說出來了

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所以

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言下之意

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罷凌我的就給我看看好惹

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精神病人

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她清醒

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最可怕

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所以

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精神醫學都讓她他吃藥嘛

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不睡也不會死啊

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我覺得

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我的醫師

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還是說

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心理師

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這太弔詭

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我的自傳

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只有八里知道欸

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我跟你說

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我的心理師

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很驚訝

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她覺得

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我的頭腦

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不像病人

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可是

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她都做不到

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所以

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精神病人還是自保吧！

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啊不然

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妳那麼出名

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要幹嘛

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所以

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以後我勇敢一點

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寫錯就寫錯

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我是病人啊

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我道歉

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你要罷凌我甚麼

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應該妳只會被反罷凌吧！

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我裝傻就好了

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我在小說裡

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欸

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恩

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就沒事了

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啊不然

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準備反設計回來了

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欸

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所以

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作者

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最好被整得慘兮兮

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欸

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沒辦法

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所以耶穌那隻鬼

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就被我整啦

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所謂的嫁禍給神

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我再狂也沒罪惹啦

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寫作的方法

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筆。記！

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所以

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甚麼都扯出來

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但是嫁禍給自己

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就夠了

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太好惹

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我下一篇小說

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<練。習。說。話>

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算惹啦

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我邪惡透頂惹啦

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我喔

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巴不得把伉哥哥吃惹啦

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我承認啦

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啊不然

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我是所謂的

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跟誰報告啊

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吼憂

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就我啦

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纏著人家的是我啦

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吼憂

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我變態

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我氣死的

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伉哥哥不要我

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我就瘋了啦

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我哭了

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我徹底冰寒

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誰都不要怨我

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感謝殺害阿姨的法人吧

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讓我瞬間往生的

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是法人吧

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耶穌基督也沒有好到哪

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我傷不起

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因此我是直線

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罷凌我的

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很抱歉

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我不正常

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對不起！

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算惹

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寫字來發洩啦

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反正

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我永遠是直線就對了啦

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我可能

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那個時空

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很難了

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因為

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分裂了

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我不正常

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對不起

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原諒我

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不要管我

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精神病人最可怕

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看到了沒

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所以就不要再怪別人了

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知道嗎

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人家怎麼會知道

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妳的頭腦是直線呢

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所以嘛

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欸

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自己要慢慢練習

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知道嗎

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因為

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精神病人才是最可怕最傷人的

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所以

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我說

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信哥被我汙蔑到完

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欸

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他可能

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我

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欸

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欸唷

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他沒時間

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啊那

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以後

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我

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伉哥哥

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哥哥非常非常愛我而已啦

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哥哥前女友

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欸

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拜託

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欸

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那我

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寫甚麼小說嘛

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吼憂

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我是小朋友

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幼稚魅

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吼

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又能像母親剛強

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啊憂

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我

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頭都痛了

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哥哥應該是

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直接把我抓去

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化療了吧

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欸唷

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所以我昏到現在喔

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甚麼

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哥哥

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守在我身邊

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我進加護病房喔

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所以

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寫出這麼可怕的小說喔

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喔

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可是

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我就寫到我死

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很多人

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講話都是要被引導的

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欸

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連話都講不清楚

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罷凌別人的

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其實才是最軟弱的

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所以

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哥哥傷得比誰都深！

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啊

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平心而論

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那我沒事

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就把自己抓來整

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啊

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太好惹

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信哥催生一位作家

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因為他

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欸

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前女友的傷痕

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我要幫他澄清！

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我無所謂！

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所以嘛

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我整自己

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就好啦

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現在才知道欸

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太好了！！

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所以

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我是比潘先生

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好到哪

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我竟然說人家冷血

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我簡直不要命了

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我這個

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假冒偽善的傢伙

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是又好到哪

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<練習罵人！>

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哥哥

我跟你說

如果我

殺人不用時間的時候

不是您造成的

因為我冰到底了

我是個

任性的女孩

不是誰的錯

不是針對你

知道嗎

我自己

高興這樣

我說過啊

我最邪惡我最爽！

然後會笑

知道嗎？

我很怕又嚇到你

反正您別理我

我都說隨我扯了

我自己

都管不住自己的頭腦啦

我不正常

哥哥別被我嚇到

我的個性就是這樣啦

知道喔！！

所以哥

您欠疚甚麼

我比你兇好幾倍

所以我只好把耶穌基督抓來整嘛

誰像我這麼變態啊

所以

我的情緒與你無關

我自己

玩得很爽啦

我光想就爽惹

所以

我鬼扯到完

拿自己當範本

人好可憐！

不是針對你喔

我也是

一次一次在練習

表達

是這樣！！

365Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMxxUevlLX

所以啊

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我的寫作風格變惹啊

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練習鬼扯啊

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我扯給你啊

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人人躲家裡鬼扯

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投稿就賺到死惹啦

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我拼了

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誰說台灣好欺負

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哼！

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中國啦

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我會氣死！！

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然後啊

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我越來

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越愛笑了

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欸

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我喔

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回轉像小孩

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我小時候

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很會玩的

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欸

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都我媽啦

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我背書背到掛掉的

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對不起欸

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我亂七八糟的

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不是你

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知道喔

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所以哥

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玉晴媽媽不見了

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要怎麼說呢

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我沒有力氣再是玉晴媽媽了啦

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她簡直是

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累死的吧

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簡直是

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被虐待到完

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吼

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媽好辛苦喔

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我家喔

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變態！！

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媽媽38歲就走了

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啊憂

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我才知道

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我天生

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長不大

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也不會老啊

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我其實

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沒錯啦

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可是

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心智外表都不像啊

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硬要我長大

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我就掛了

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好可怕

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媽媽....

她這個人格...

欸

我好像

也....

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神僕人往生的下場！

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那

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被美國偷走也不怕！

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哥...

難道

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真的很麻煩

讓她知道您很傷心啊

她不就爽惹

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真是！！

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吼

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真是大海撈針

哥哥就是這樣

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也不願澄清

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我喔

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你...！

啊不管

小說如果有公開

我是雙筆名

她會上您我臉書

啊

唯一的希望了

哥...！

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您

不要再傷心了

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我喔

能不講嗎

我小說

男生女生被我訓得很慘

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沒輒

教授都死光了

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好可怕...！

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當小朋友

比較快樂

真的欸

啊憂

我不要大人我

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啊

算惹

啊

大人我

被您關在主頁裡

啊

這樣想

好多了...！

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欸

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所以

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我回轉像小孩

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反正

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我好像

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永遠活在2017/2018的時空

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恩...！

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阿姨早知

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欸

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我可能

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會再次病發欸

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好可怕...！

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被哥哥關起來

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最好

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哥哥

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原諒我

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我的頭腦

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大概被基督教毀了

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我真的

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欸

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欸

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哥...

我該怎麼辦

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因為

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滿滿地都是你

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可是

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