（*此為自肥文）319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPwLkokLOrd
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我叫彤佳語，國小六年級，而今天我就要去死了...哈哈…到底為什麼會變成這樣呢？
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這都要從我小時候說起。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUqTPyx03lG
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在我有記憶以來，爸爸和媽媽就不停的在吵架，媽媽總是會摔東西，嘴上還一直說著什麼狐狸精，而爸爸則會拿起離手邊最近的東西打媽媽，還好爸爸一個月只會回來一次。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDP3aPNGfFG
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爸爸和媽媽吵完架後，爸爸就會離開，而我總會躲在房間裡，等到謾罵聲結束。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzaBGPa48eE
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爸爸離開後，媽媽就會變回平常的樣子，坐在餐桌喝酒，有時候不開心時會拿起手邊的藤條打我。每天放學後，我都要回家洗碗、洗衣服、打掃等，不過有時候阿姨會過來幫我，阿姨來的時候媽媽都會要我穿上長袖和長褲，雖然不知道為什麼，但是我很開心。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlRujIs3Nyt
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也許早點回家也不錯，因為學校裡也沒有什麼令人開心的事。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCNOeb8bilB
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同學每次看見我，都會想盡辦法捉弄我，大一點的時候我才知道那叫做「霸凌」，他們都說我又髒又臭，叫我陰沉女，還會故意弄亂我的位子，把我的作業簿弄髒、弄溼，故意排擠我，然而老師都會把這當成是同學間的小玩笑，就這麼過去了。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡirY0EBFffx
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI5MPg7bbvY
五年級分班後，我的日子還是一如往常，有個女生...她好像叫呂萱宥？她就是新的帶頭霸凌我的人，說不恨是騙人的，但我什麼都做不了，就算告訴老師，他又會相信嗎？319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPfogroabLe
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「喂！自閉女！借我三百塊吧！我們不是朋友嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRieubU2MwX
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呂萱宥帶著幾個跟班向我走來，把我逼到牆角。我真的很想說，妳們這群霸凌人的人，難道都沒別招了嗎？319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikAxjqs1jh
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「我沒錢...」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1lK3em7i2
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「沒錢！妳上次也是這樣講！妳是不是學不乖？看來只能再把妳揍一頓了...可以的話我還真不想這麼做呢...！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWfaz9VIiHJ
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohyav3LDwE
呂萱宥露出了期待的笑容，她身旁的跟班按捺著拳頭，發出「啪、啪」的聲音。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YsMtyBU4v
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不是我不想給，只是我現在連養活自己都有困難了，我再給她們錢的話說不定會餓死，挨打總比餓死好，要死也得選個輕鬆的死法。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfo5PSboyV
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她們舉起拳頭，我也做好挨打的準備。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡijDpincYUg
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4aQjyws23b
「你們在幹什麼！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEIYHsPy1z6
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXH0C2Sbo2a
一個有點胖胖的男生朝這裡走過來，呂萱宥她們趕緊轉過身背對我，裝出一副若無其事的樣子。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1LbniNe4TS
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「沒什麼啊！我們只是在玩，對吧？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrMjR9pezek
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呂萱宥對她的跟班使了使眼色。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcCqDnqePUV
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「呃...對啊！沒錯哈哈！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ62OTEet7dr
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「真的？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37J1pGBsxc
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「當然！噢對了，歐世傑你怎麼會來這？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5U3e9Zoaee
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她馬上轉移話題。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71Jo85Di9X
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「我經過不行嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dinxZdauo
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「呃...我…我想起我還有事要做，先走囉！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Jqn7oW708
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWpi4txSUrT
呂萱宥和她的跟班快步離開，那個男生是叫歐...歐世傑？他..為什麼要理我？我第一次這麼的好奇一件事，不行，我必須問清楚。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqUnf53UOoF
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「為什麼幫我？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNLsDCRYNtM
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「……」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8cnn3IJmLp
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他沉默了許久，終於開口。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwil3fsHruu
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「幫助人還需要什麼理由嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaBZHW6a0QL
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是啊！我是個人，是個活生生的人…為什麼我到現在才知道呢？319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7AdCoWhNR
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZfYU52Wxr
從那以後，他幾乎每天都來關心我，關心我有沒有好好吃飯，傷口痛不痛，我真的好開心，除了阿姨以外，他是第一個讓我感到溫暖、有安全感的人。他就像一道光，照亮了我的世界，他也像是一絲希望。世界，原來是這麼美好。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDZpyr6Rf9M
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「那個...歐世傑...請跟我做朋友！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqWYz23RzB
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這是我生平第一次用了那麼大的勇氣，說不定之前沒用到的現在都用光了。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2lylOyB6ID
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「....？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDVqrK1UN3o
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「...不行嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qYPgXyluQ
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也是，不會有人會想和我這種一無是處又毫無優點的人相處…又怎麼可能會有人會想跟我做朋友。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtqx9rF3Ac
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「我們早就已經是了啊？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBgmN3Sll08
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只見歐世傑抓著頭，皺著眉頭，而我...哭了。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBjXhtngTJe
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眼淚不停的滴下，哭聲止不住，但心裡卻覺得好暖和，我急忙轉過身，不讓歐世傑看見我的現在的樣子。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1G5oB0Occu
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「喂你還好嗎...呃...不然這樣好了，我們不當朋友....當摯友好嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2A33wzCQ3x
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歐世傑慌張的安慰我，讓我又哭又笑。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuuiWrxs9OV
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「摯友？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVuiy6hB3Aa
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「那個..摯友就是比朋友更要好的朋友吧！既然都成為摯友了，我們就互叫名字吧，佳語。」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaiuCShyin
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「世...世傑，那個...我們也可以當閨蜜啊！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWUseFXCATN
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這是我生平的第一個玩笑。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyU1WEgvvxn
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世傑茫然的看著我，接著又皺起眉頭。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrpbXpHneiO
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「Are you serious?」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6c9VOdYUDN
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是啊！那時是多麼的快樂…就算其他人再討厭我，只要世傑是站在我這邊的就夠了。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwE27pElrPD
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在一年後的某天，世傑應該是剛打掃完，因為他提著一桶髒水，只不過稀奇的是，他身後站著的是許翰彥—黑道老大的兒子，呂萱宥的男友兼打手。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJDvmR917c
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「世傑，有什麼事嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOH4LRk2cPn
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世傑不發一語，把桶子拿起來。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhuXTJxwfRv
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「嘩啦！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSBfd5K3T1N
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我的臉好冰，水珠從我的髮絲流下，我站的地板也滿是水。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6K4AuyCnUM
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「世傑？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXpT6yqHaR
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怎麼回事，這難道是什麼玩笑嗎？319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6Cp3Gs6Hu
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「哈哈哈哈哈！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZPhVzpTzPm
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世傑摀著眼睛，仰天大笑，接著是許翰彥，最後是圍觀的所有人，所有人都在...嘲笑我。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEtC0sXVJUq
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「這個玩笑不會太過分嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxTTTFnMdQ
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「過分？」許翰彥回答，「對啊！這只是個玩笑嘛！但請妳記住，這同時也是種警告，如果妳太快樂，我的女朋友可是會很傷心的！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Is6sE0VGS
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周圍又響起一陣笑聲。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3idkqtV7kl
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許翰彥把手搭在歐世傑的肩膀上，「沒有哪一個男人會希望看見自己的女人流淚吧？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpFDVANQwwX
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSGd58tICIB
他又接著把嘴巴靠近世傑的耳朵，小聲的說—「當然，家人也不例外。」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3z9u2E6YMx
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我沒看清世傑的表情，但他不太像是開心的樣子。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxG4V5jN1F5
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從那次以後，呂萱宥又開始霸凌我，世傑也不再理我，以前四年發生過的事，又再度繼續，沒關係，我還撐得下去......319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyoDAk7bJz
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7月18日，放學後，我回到家門前，我以為我會看見那一如往常的景色…但，並不是如此。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dmCkt0HFu
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有幾輛警車停在那兒，我也看見幾位警察忙進忙出的，而我的媽媽—她坐在路邊哭泣著...就在那時，我看見有兩位穿著白衣的人，抬著一個單架，單架上的人蓋著一塊白布，他的手不經意的調出白布外。那隻手，曾在我做錯事時拍我的頭安慰我；它也曾在我做不完家事時幫我做；它還曾給與我活下去所需的溫度，那隻手—是我阿姨的手。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hzYFPucBD
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不，這不可能是真的，怎麼可能？319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzlQpqeVpd8
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一位警察走到我面前。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo0VAWsgg3q
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「請問妳是李雅莛的家屬嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw4tzmRqBWv
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「...是的，她是我的阿姨....。」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCS0dW2seiK
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「請妳冷靜的聽我說，我是高雄署鳳山分部的張警官。大約三十分鐘前，我們接獲妳們鄰居的燥噪音報案，前來查看發現李雅莛小姐血流不止倒在地上，就在剛才現場急救無效，已經沒了呼吸心跳。而在現場我們發現彤志雄先生，也就是妳的父親，拿著沾有李雅莛小姐血液的球棒。依據在場妳的母親李雅惠小姐的證詞，本來是自己要被打，而李雅莛小姐挺身保謢她，所彤志雄先生才失手誤殺了李雅莛小姐。那關於這起事件的後續....」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhHOg9H590
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什麼？他在講什麼？阿姨死了？不，怎麼可能？這難道又是什麼無聊的玩笑嗎？她昨天明明還好端端的啊！不可能，他說那個男人殺死了阿姨？阿姨她才沒有死！她不會死的！所有人都在騙我！每個人都是騙子！不可能不可能不可能！319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡee3fxor2ZU
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiozDaJz8zp
我轉身跑走，剛才那位警察好像在叫我，但那一點都不重要，我必須去找到那個人，找到那個人，跟他問清楚，這樣說不定我能夠活下去了。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTCSmhQXJ5H
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我跑到目的地，瘋狂按著他家的門鈴。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvPdL0rWfXj
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「叮咚！叮咚」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn3jwEwZucg
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「哪位？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgzf7DQc3pb
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「那個...世傑...」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVRrkeNGiD
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「…彤佳語？妳走吧！」
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世傑一臉驚呀的瞪大眼睛，有可能是因為這是我第一次來他家找他吧，而且還那麼急躁，不過他隨後就要把門關上。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7mOqrMVPb
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「我問你，我們還是摯友嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXbG0EGCmi
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「不，怎麼可能，別開完笑了，我們現在可是連朋友都不是的陌生人！妳問完了，現在可以走了嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ7tOQTxGFt
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCp1Mq4DG0u
他在說謊，他的表情告訴我，雖然只有一點點，但我看的出來他很痛苦。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡacxKtTR7RJ
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVT1NmzuHav
「你告訴我，許翰彥是不是威脅你？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRV6TAhtOmn
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkX8kFwqD7P
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「才沒有...」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGEezLSxB3W
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkaMbY7wfwk
「他是不是仗著自己是黑道世家，威脅你說如果再跟我走近就會傷害你的家人？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbXhG1IKgqI
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBSxj4ic5n3
世傑低下頭。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSyMkr1BQbT
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvCr9oPvndd
「是又怎樣？不是又如何？妳問了這個問題又能改變什麼？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ1nWGbiBVm
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhArYPXGku1
「你可以去和老師，又或著是警察說啊！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Gkiz3VMvX
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ880rIG7wi8
「老師？警察？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPMKvai5auL
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvT6Fuaydl3
歐世傑冷冷笑了幾聲，又抬起頭。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwJjBwO6dHO
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQEbRGGYWr
「那妳呢？妳不也一直都被欺負嗎？怎麼就不去找他們？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCc2ip7NUEP
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9sZrdFAXHR
「我......」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeeyhDBUly
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFmnmz3mcrt
是啊！我是個膽小鬼，不敢和任何說，也不曾與那些人抵抗過，只是一眛的默默承受，這樣什麼都無法改變。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVzMXSJqxt
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1u4n4QhLUT
「你不一樣，跟我不一樣，你並不弱小，而是很勇敢、很堅強，與我不同，所以你能做到。」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvKrZYKC4E4
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但歐世傑給了我一個意料之外的答案。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJELe6Q7Ag
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtviVZxmzb0
「如果說，我是自願的呢？許翰彥根本就沒有威脅我，我只是假裝跟妳做朋友，現在膩了，想欺負妳找點樂呢？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNAIYf1RhuF
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「不，你並不是這種人！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdi1bff57RW
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「我就是！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ44WX7rOZjN
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他大吼。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlowd2KznD3
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「妳又瞭解我的什麼了！這一切，跟妳相處、跟妳當摯友的歐世傑都是我裝出來的！到底有誰會真心想跟妳這種垃圾做朋友！除了傻子以外就沒有了吧...總之我很忙，而且我現在覺得妳很煩，我再也不想看看到你！妳最好以後從我的面前消失！乾脆轉學算了！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdPPg2euony
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「砰！」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9Q5WPAtCG
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他說完之後，便大力關上了門。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqR2hIUYIV
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOQGAC2iIEF
太過分了...我知道他是為我好，才說出這種話，還要我轉學...但他不知道的是，不管到哪都是一樣的，我總是最軟弱、最好欺負的那一個，而現在，我已經改變不了，無法反抗，因為我，早就已經麻痺了，也失去了求生的意志。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD6X9KQtuq2
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSLr4BSWj2h
我的心好痛，像有人一直拿著斧頭砍它一般，就算我知道世傑是為我好，我還是有點恨他，恨他為什麼要用這樣的方式處理，只不過我好像也沒那個資格就是了。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9xyO6rE2CC
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7res5PKsZg
世傑和阿姨就像是我的光，我的希望，更是我的動力，因為他們，讓我有了想活下去的想法。現在，他們都不在我身邊了，我什麼都沒了。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDd0g4Zromx
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaNvfsWlgPk
好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死好想死。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tJrtPuVNA
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我好想再看一次日出。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlVsMx1Vzc
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0VN2Ck58u
我走到阿姨家門，翻牆進去，爬到了頂樓，阿姨家總共有五層樓，雖然每層的空間都不大就是了，大概跟教室的四分之一差不多，頂樓的視野總是最美的，我還小的時候，阿姨有時會帶我來這裡，我就是從那時候愛上日出的。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8M6qfdSH9f
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpkdVJ8PCsS
想著阿姨，眼淚不自覺的落下，我看著夜空，雖然沒有星星，也比不上日出，但是看著它讓我感受到了自由。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNyrDssLKl
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT1Smnm1XD
清晨，火紅的太陽帶著橘黃色的雲霞升起，日出是多麼地美麗啊！不枉費我盯著天空一整晚，希望我下輩子也能夠跟它一樣綻放光明。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuoBhCWchP
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNkOyjzyZX
那些要自殺的人不是都會寫遺書或是打電話跟重要的人說說話嗎？可惜我不知到要打給誰，遺書也不知道要寫什麼，要是我打給世傑或是遺書上提到他，他和他的家人說不定真的會有危險，畢竟許翰彥可是那種做事衝動又不經大腦的人。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp9BPtMHp2N
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9kjbfnz4n
我還真是可悲啊！不過沒關係，我這一生都忍那麼多次了，這一次就當是做做善事別去聯絡他了吧。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiKRZUqzW7m
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SD5uWQBr3
人生最後看見的景色意外的還不錯。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXeFVS2recT
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這是最後了。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV8rijS5NVM
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我站起來，縱身往下，放任自己往下沉淪，不反抗，就跟以前一樣。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vxCITh4cr
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自殺的人想結束的不是生命，只不過是痛苦。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXBbawvmihN
319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEK4JZfYnSH
一個聲音在我腦海響起。319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsN3sF4x0aE
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「你，想復仇嗎？」319Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQMjlC4VsGb
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*作品連結：
https://www.penana.com/story/130342/%E9%BB%91%E5%BD%B1
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