I'm a horrible person.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Vs2F9sPud
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHw0gE3Sorc
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5ewlzYGNJ
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMyHggrahLF
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD5prbC5kTM
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8hopHkSnv6
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCazmMfmKGS
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexrqkd02OZ
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrGnDgDDK6a
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa0XrRrEGTd
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9HrQqZJQKi
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGL2bwtoJqY
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvNgCYwwTjR
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzJh44zRoEk
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCftWzqV3R
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiOOic0n3mi
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC0kl7jnLjU
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiz7vDpVWpT
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfNSzWwDwWs
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaHOYPjLm6
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdrJUDojRuX
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUiDBuVqdQw
Of being lonely.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWf3mxjWz6F
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDmWFhxgQ1l
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So I take comfort in my own world.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAcAemCyjce
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpfv6f5zuZ0
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ53FneksTHq
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGotzuivXL
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9aw5mcfvxl
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduUUo57g1S
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I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBBth2y8fWF
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57ynhfBkQQ
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLlkJCEccqB
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What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPTiAOYCR1C
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjHbq9USiqe
I shouldn't even have been born.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm162lhYWw
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPODygI0XH2
....459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89C2BTkHEb
[Deleted passage]459Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5RAK5761si
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