I'm a horrible person.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyNvVyuzsDh
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1lxSJWxBNU
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXpf7tJXwXb
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKX4Ics65Jp
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9yHxJ8suxs
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeygEriUJ0
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2HGlPBSa8t
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR8QNcGUoHr
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAY914xU0Xa
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFHuGD55ZMj
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaU2Ws5Wtz
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKJsdtk1gCu
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyRsk8GDWrc
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7m27ddVAId
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmxy3zME4Yw
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BPBb8nl6G
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW4PzqleJor
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtvKoeUz7ha
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRLx3RPUUmg
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqAv1bnqDq
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8rO0L7yUK
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5as5LJHCgy
Of being lonely.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdxRiAnHYXT
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJBUkLxcuxR
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So I take comfort in my own world.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV4jlNjLedG
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyp75dhROmE
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqhxFVn9VN7
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡllRhiamQKj
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qlxDXsRvD
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLCU3PZSPNe
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I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzbwmFG5deS
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrcQVwPTs3t
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLWqQdciSqv
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What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmEDDMEcsqA
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAIGjv9uXUf
I shouldn't even have been born.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODuTtVTulD
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcmN7XTs7p
....383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOhd2fSlJW
[Deleted passage]383Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLravDXf8zu
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