I'm a horrible person.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BdW8UavYP
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXtIjPuipqt
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdSTXvbFmAm
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIJkGlh28X
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSRVjHXSBk
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHW4dxquWs
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhHKKZ9TkWf
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNJ68AOh6S
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7lW4beTzb
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZnNzEOjsMb
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡddl7fO5SIU
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8mAx18G3zM
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡURKyPJriFs
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0F7je0DbDQ
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHjC0P4sUCT
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBrR0MbaJI0
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwjEgkdWkTo
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsLAEV5ZBS
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK9qDAHNRtt
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3a7F5uXwCg
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkwGcmLp3kY
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPf2GLtHf2w
Of being lonely.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMSfFtUc0Nr
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNeCyaoCtr
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1PXvXQe3i0
So I take comfort in my own world.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm8IPObHi8u
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOEQtBtUK9
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZaQTPn6IAE
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMPfl1Km94U
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPcew15L0ok
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrx1rTlpUC
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIG0eVEaZf8
I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HTCYeE3VV
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4AbwMoeZw4
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlYLeSc1C2I
463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5i3OXSD6i
What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFIQLkIIQlo
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeGXlKVdDet
I shouldn't even have been born.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2262Sn5Rc
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo1OfmVSooU
....463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHbzj7DlP0
[Deleted passage]463Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKY2jswM6Fv
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