I'm a horrible person.463Please respect copyright.PENANA2BdW8UavYP
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.463Please respect copyright.PENANAXtIjPuipqt
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.463Please respect copyright.PENANAdSTXvbFmAm
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.463Please respect copyright.PENANAIIJkGlh28X
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.463Please respect copyright.PENANAxSRVjHXSBk
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.463Please respect copyright.PENANAuHW4dxquWs
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.463Please respect copyright.PENANAhHKKZ9TkWf
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.463Please respect copyright.PENANAWNJ68AOh6S
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.463Please respect copyright.PENANAE7lW4beTzb
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.463Please respect copyright.PENANAZnNzEOjsMb
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.463Please respect copyright.PENANAddl7fO5SIU
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.463Please respect copyright.PENANA8mAx18G3zM
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.463Please respect copyright.PENANAURKyPJriFs
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.463Please respect copyright.PENANA0F7je0DbDQ
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.463Please respect copyright.PENANAHjC0P4sUCT
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?463Please respect copyright.PENANABrR0MbaJI0
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.463Please respect copyright.PENANAwjEgkdWkTo
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.463Please respect copyright.PENANApsLAEV5ZBS
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.463Please respect copyright.PENANAK9qDAHNRtt
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.463Please respect copyright.PENANA3a7F5uXwCg
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.463Please respect copyright.PENANAkwGcmLp3kY
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.463Please respect copyright.PENANAPf2GLtHf2w
Of being lonely.463Please respect copyright.PENANAMSfFtUc0Nr
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.463Please respect copyright.PENANAeNeCyaoCtr
463Please respect copyright.PENANA1PXvXQe3i0
So I take comfort in my own world.463Please respect copyright.PENANAm8IPObHi8u
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.463Please respect copyright.PENANAoOEQtBtUK9
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.463Please respect copyright.PENANAZaQTPn6IAE
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.463Please respect copyright.PENANAMPfl1Km94U
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.463Please respect copyright.PENANAPcew15L0ok
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.463Please respect copyright.PENANAFrx1rTlpUC
463Please respect copyright.PENANAIG0eVEaZf8
I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.463Please respect copyright.PENANA5HTCYeE3VV
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?463Please respect copyright.PENANA4AbwMoeZw4
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.463Please respect copyright.PENANAlYLeSc1C2I
463Please respect copyright.PENANAf5i3OXSD6i
What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.463Please respect copyright.PENANAFIQLkIIQlo
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.463Please respect copyright.PENANAeGXlKVdDet
I shouldn't even have been born.463Please respect copyright.PENANAL2262Sn5Rc
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.463Please respect copyright.PENANAo1OfmVSooU
....463Please respect copyright.PENANAuHbzj7DlP0
[Deleted passage]463Please respect copyright.PENANAKY2jswM6Fv