I'm a horrible person.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlS8yiZB9oJ
Anti-hero, my ass. If I was a person reading this, I'd think that anyone who'd support the writer of this diary would be crazy. Despicable.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLFvikv4Jz
After all, I've ruined many lives. Broken up families. Hurt an unfathomable amount of people. There are even people that have taken their lives as a result of my actions.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlo1BVj7MY7
But I don't feel anything for them.
It was fun at first, you know.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxAOr3X1JL
It's nerve-wracking. Exhilarating. The echoes of screaming. Distorted faces.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu7SINvzZ7j
Projecting the faces of people I know onto the victims.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyyuu1CXqe
Seeing people beg for mercy. A power trip, you might call it.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHJixi24fwB
Have you ever had someone at your complete mercy? With their body under your foot, telling you to spare them at any cost. They would do anything.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZmq6hQtDRw
Feeling your fist connect with someone's gut. A crowd of people watching you, yet powerless to do anything.
It was my life. I would spend most, if not all of my spare time planning how I would be able to rise up the ranks. Get more media on me. My character.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡavHopNREFN
I can't help but grin when I overhear people talking about me in person.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9yiNYVYDY
When I read the comments under compilations of my appearances.
But it's tiring.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1jNKDh68cV
The constant hate. The fear of being watched. The fear of being discovered.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ38PRjBS747
I don't usually say much, but when we're talking about something I'm passionate about, I won't stop.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN5bazs0K6V
Naturally, I'm grateful they put a curse on me so that I don't accidentally blabber confidential information about villains.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhivdBkJbZv
But as heroes and villains are common topics of discussion, it's easy for me to get carried away. And after that happens, the anxiety hits.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFvmRuYUrHc
What if they figured out my identity? What if they realise how despicable I am?363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWqBw9MWm0
I can't talk to them again. It's too dangerous.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡahdjgvlR95
Call it an irrational fear, but I can't help it.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqRTq48OKe
Sometimes I wonder why they picked me when I knew what I was doing was wrong. Well, I guess it's better than those who flaunt their crimes.
And gradually, I numbed myself to humanity.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq8PwIY8Umn
Those aren't humans. They're disgusting lumps of meat. They don't have a will of their own. Look, how they're squirming beneath my feet, promising to disown their children in order to stay alive. How one leaps in front of the other to finally die and be remembered as a hero despite living a life that can only be described as trash beforehand.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡph3iNo1GCi
If I hated humans before, I came to despise them with all my being.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tU2wiyU6H
Hope for humanity? Don't be ridiculous. Heroes don't exist. They're just garbage, like you and me, parading as luxury goods, made to capitalise and give false hope.
I'm tired of all this. Of being reminded of how revolting humans are.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeaF2XXdHQb
Of being lonely.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW47Dztf3El
Pathetic, right? Even though I think like this, I'm lonely. It's not something I'd like to admit. I'm always alone, so you'd think I'd be accustomed to it. And in most cases, I prefer to be alone. But I can't help but feel lonely sometimes.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNG9HVfdPyP
363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEDqCPQpf0
So I take comfort in my own world.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsrfPsvrCh
If the Organisation doesn't want me, then no one would want me.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcm6mCyabp7
I joined hoping that I'd be of some help to society despite being a loser, only to lose what little faith I had left in the world.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnRmqyUdtJ4
Truly, I deserve to be called a villain in all aspects.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvvpRiOTJ3
I hope you're happy. I hope the heroes are happy. I hope the higher-ups are happy.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBoQsjyHlX
Or maybe I hope that the world ends tomorrow and we all get what we deserve.
The power of friendship, the happy life that's always being portrayed in mainstream media doesn't exist. It's all lies.
I tried, you know. I tried hard. I had perfect attendance in school. I did well in tests. In sports. But why? Why can't I bring myself to try hard for anything now? All that's left for me is to be the villain. With no one on my side my whole life.
You don't need to pity me. The families I've ruined sure don't.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIc73BxY81
363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5TXF7sbpS
I can't keep doing this forever. I'll have my memories erased, and then what? I'll just keep being unwanted. I'll barely pass my studies. Get a mediocre job that I despise. A quiet life that made no impact. I was raised to be "special", but I'm not even special to one person.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohDa8ZB6eJ
Why does a part of me keep screaming to be recognised?363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0KGhBZu3ai
If only I could have been more dedicated. If only I could work harder. If only I had a dream.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqtW5nQdlSm
363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3P61KoMbwy
What would it be like as a hero? To have people not looking up to me from beneath my feet, but from respect and admiration? To have cheers whenever you walk by instead of when you're defeated and humiliated? But I can't even handle the expectations of my parents, much less the expectations of the whole public.
I can't even be a proper villain. A villain wouldn't have thoughts like these, right? They wouldn't even be writing something like this in the first place.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMcgQk7RoNZ
I can't be a normal human being. I can't be a hero nor a villain.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKS6jjjWXR
I shouldn't even have been born.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuBfea49biK
The Organisation didn't even need to pick me; surely there are so many people out there who're better at being the villain than me.
Ah, well, whatever. It doesn't matter anyway.363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk9guy3qtOw
....363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGBwLbxuany
[Deleted passage]363Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJLGHL0zPEK
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