INT. TATE MODERN, ST IVES - AFTERNOON
Stable shopkeeper DR GREGORY BUTTERSCOTCH is arguing with sweet housekeeper MASTER HARRY CHAN. GREGORY tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgFB3TP2LGu
Please Harry, don't leave me.
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HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1Rd9m39rx
I'm sorry Gregory, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhS3wuPBElN
I am such a person!
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HARRY frowns.
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HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGP88cCwEMy
I'm sorry, Gregory. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
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HARRY leaves.
GREGORY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, hopeful doctor MRS CHANTAL MALKOVICH barges in looking flustered.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyHQTgl8VA
Goodness, Chantal! Is everything okay?
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa3Noa7TS9j
I'm afraid not.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZy3FwaDxJy
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaO7DncHper
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2knhM199Y3
Defenseless swimmers?
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjcMhhUaZSJ
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmvjaXss805
Bloomin' heck, Chantal! We've got to do something.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48rXcONgUt
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpw2Q8vEtM
You can start by telling me where this happened.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbIkQgUntR
I was...
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CHANTAL fans herself and begins to wheeze.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3gXiiDJqX
Focus Chantal, focus! Where did it happen?
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYSZUzs7x2
National History Museum, London! That's right - National History Museum, London!
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GREGORY springs up and begins to run.
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EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
GREGORY rushes along the street, followed by CHANTAL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER
SHARON PIGEON a spiteful alien terrorises two swimmers.
GREGORY, closely followed by CHANTAL, rushes towards SHARON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUGomoWOmFq
What is is? What's the matter?
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYu50KHeLG
That's not just any old alien, that's Sharon Pigeon!
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy2GcJdFAsG
Who's Sharon Pigeon?
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKecfepNViz
Who's Sharon Pigeon? Who's Sharon Pigeon? Only the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFJF8yvDpbb
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaci88HRFA
You can say that again.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOdzekhnIJQ
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTQmSplTc5P
I'm going to need ropes, lots of ropes.
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Sharon turns and sees Gregory and Chantal. She grins an evil grin.
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrTb0lhLkH4
Gregory Butterscotch, we meet again.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKYAu4vWra8
You've met?
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6f2hORUgOZ
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
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EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young GREGORY is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees SHARON. He takes off his headphones.
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTksi3rPgHG
Would you like some chocolate?
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GREGORY's eyes light up, but then he studies SHARON more closely, and looks uneasy.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgcbNuN4AUj
I don't know, you look kind of spiteful.
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lLTGBS9LJ
Me? No. I'm not spiteful. I'm the least spiteful alien in the world.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCq6RDIOwVj
Wait, you're a alien?
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GREGORY runs away, screaming.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - PRESENT DAY
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQIa7eKie0A
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkzefaGMgj
(To GREGORY) You ran away?
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsAhW1YPKm
(To CHANTAL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
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GREGORY turns to SHARON.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1vdg0N9wX0
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
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GREGORY runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMChVcsF6Um
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ropes.
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBMphHYm8bj
I'm not scared of you.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsjCtzTiAWp
You should be.
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EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY
GREGORY and CHANTAL walk around searching for something.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSnT5bWCvvu
I feel sure I left my ropes somewhere around here.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPypzQ6NAi
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ropes.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFcjJfA8oY
You know nothing Chantal Malkovich.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AsMkgq9Wb
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
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Suddenly, SHARON appears, holding a pair of ropes.
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBC2YVYkEhA
Looking for something?
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv4OfNJVbY2
Crikey, Gregory, she's got your ropes.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDdk2BrAF4L
Tell me something I don't already know!
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKmUqDIvb0z
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeKkrlq5jE
I know that already!
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJhpwyMloW
I pick my nose and eat it.
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJARCiAf6C
(appalled) Dude!
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While SHARON is looking at CHANTAL with disgust, GREGORY lunges forward and grabs his deadly ropes. He wields them, triumphantly.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBIPPYFrs8
Prepare to die, you spiteful cauliflower!
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ePKH4Y4aZ
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmzB16Xio8J
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Gregory Butterscotch defender of innocent swimmers.
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVc3dRTBfSx
Don't hurt me! Please!
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrHnY43STHS
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ropes on you right away!
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSkL9m0bO0K
Because Gregory, I am your mother.
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GREGORY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKm1O5KVmC
No you're not!
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SHARON197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa4ZQ1foVtA
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
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SHARON tries to grab the ropes but GREGORY dodges out of the way.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIudQwltIF
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
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Unexpectedly, SHARON slumps to the ground.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRk8hYJdvK5
Did she just faint?
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuciiOjm76G
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ropes.
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GREGORY crouches over SHARON's body.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlssItf9dj
Be careful, Gregory. It could be a trick.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmbGYEsdOoq
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Sharon Pigeon is dead!
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMQXrlebWmt
What?
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7dZTUu6n2H
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
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CHANTAL claps her hands.
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CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX1nHhyWIFu
So your ropes did save the day, after all.
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HARRY steps forward.
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HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHMQhS4HwP
Is it true? Did you kill the spiteful alien?
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWI1dB8mWK
Harry how long have you been...?
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HARRY puts his arm around GREGORY.
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HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf6j1cpC2jC
Long enough.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡikQxRyQQlv
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Sharon Pigeon.
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HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsHwo07MnH
Then the swimmers are safe?
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbLAFq4vBE
It does seem that way!
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A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.
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HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7hGoEWghr2
You are their hero.
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The swimmers bow to GREGORY.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4Xeliytv97
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Sharon Pigeon will never exterminate swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
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HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6hEiVJ4hD
You are humble as well as brave!
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One of the swimmers passes GREGORY a magic ring
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HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyD0mgm9h3b
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTcnkJQa57
I couldn't possibly.
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Pause.
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GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJlL0KoeMt
Well, if you insist.
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GREGORY takes the ring.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlcab0ooKU
GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaUvIoXVVQV
Thank you.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVVXJ4IGWin
The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.
GREGORY turns to HARRY.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloveN8HQdi
GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtfbMIkgSy5
Does this mean you want me back?
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisaw0xDOTt
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfWkrdksUeG
HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ01qJ9fhsRq
Oh, Gregory, of course I want you back!
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg6ZVz48zJo
GREGORY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPrDeNmtxi
GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBcOATHubG
Well you can't have me.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyeV5cPzLMB
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFWPDrRxR9p
HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhLqYcPQShQ
WHAT?
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7SnFVDnztL
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImohCmFJdY
GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0eZfQ7GYM3
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8tvtQlO2Jk
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6tbQjjUX38
HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUeowX7HR5
But...
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIPXgR6gfVr
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQYqeWBsn5l
GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR58djIWiQ1
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Chantal.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLahG6wUIfy
CHANTAL grins.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbKKcNQWbYb
HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ5AwN72SQK
But...
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwUU6fmVUHC
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGzlNxVJqIh
CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZQ89Uf3NqU
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAtOPUFD5M
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9YSHxoNPlf
HARRY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBNUCwL6t2A
Gregory?
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeNXBu60WRD
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuksqklSK68
GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZhvfeDvk03
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddle.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUkovSHwhy8
HARRY leaves.
CHANTAL turns to GREGORY.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvEUad01kY
CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JtHF5qqcA
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ47jzxTNGGn
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Nz4Qrcsv6
GREGORY197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnpAqgWyzzj
Of course you are!
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxSBWhmsFMg
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly CHANTAL stops.
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwCwMCRr53B
CHANTAL197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWVAfZid0tR
When I said I pick my nose and eat it, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAfUtJkXkI9
197Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWgV2L0JY6L
THE END
ns18.217.170.18da2
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