INT. TATE MODERN, ST IVES - AFTERNOON
Stable shopkeeper DR GREGORY BUTTERSCOTCH is arguing with sweet housekeeper MASTER HARRY CHAN. GREGORY tries to hug HARRY but he shakes him off.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPm6OQomJKZ
Please Harry, don't leave me.
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HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeG40LznVa
I'm sorry Gregory, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKUEvnpSQAr
I am such a person!
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HARRY frowns.
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HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbaOYZsCWx
I'm sorry, Gregory. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.
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HARRY leaves.
GREGORY sits down, looking defeated.
Moments later, hopeful doctor MRS CHANTAL MALKOVICH barges in looking flustered.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzpYcAHE4ah
Goodness, Chantal! Is everything okay?
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8tKY0nKmT
I'm afraid not.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtrnBK2KX5W
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKj1xLJhgXN
It's ... an alien ... I saw an evil alien exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS1bxlc1uH2
Defenseless swimmers?
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmITN8Xtgk
Yes, defenseless swimmers!
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeqtnBFd7g6
Bloomin' heck, Chantal! We've got to do something.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9O6YQKn7QZ
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1SLyBZ06mM
You can start by telling me where this happened.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhiQ67JzzFY
I was...
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CHANTAL fans herself and begins to wheeze.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjfyhylLqOg
Focus Chantal, focus! Where did it happen?
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuNpEMp1BuP
National History Museum, London! That's right - National History Museum, London!
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GREGORY springs up and begins to run.
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EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS
GREGORY rushes along the street, followed by CHANTAL. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - SHORTLY AFTER
SHARON PIGEON a spiteful alien terrorises two swimmers.
GREGORY, closely followed by CHANTAL, rushes towards SHARON, but suddenly stops in his tracks.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ05ISJ7pXw1
What is is? What's the matter?
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFrIiZ4qHmJ
That's not just any old alien, that's Sharon Pigeon!
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVut63QNqA
Who's Sharon Pigeon?
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg9cAj5NHbm
Who's Sharon Pigeon? Who's Sharon Pigeon? Only the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ65Cp0ADNmf
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBRk9ghYjAS
You can say that again.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrG1v0qHjKh
Blinkin' knickers, Gregory! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most spiteful alien in the universe!
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7md7DDEwwb
I'm going to need ropes, lots of ropes.
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Sharon turns and sees Gregory and Chantal. She grins an evil grin.
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs0vmAFblcZ
Gregory Butterscotch, we meet again.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsRcGe17Wr7
You've met?
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDoKQYcJh2h
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...
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EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME
A young GREGORY is sitting in a park listening to some drum and bass music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.
He looks up and sees SHARON. He takes off his headphones.
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAdCBTuAmh0
Would you like some chocolate?
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GREGORY's eyes light up, but then he studies SHARON more closely, and looks uneasy.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrxTKWHE4Eq
I don't know, you look kind of spiteful.
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTDJpUrwQvi
Me? No. I'm not spiteful. I'm the least spiteful alien in the world.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj4KPphu2CU
Wait, you're a alien?
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GREGORY runs away, screaming.
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INT. NATIONAL HISTORY MUSEUM, LONDON - PRESENT DAY
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7mOOFQWZZ
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXNjBYw13RV
(To GREGORY) You ran away?
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmVglWIF3h9
(To CHANTAL) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?
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GREGORY turns to SHARON.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYI8ELdoPPA
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!
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GREGORY runs away.
He turns back and shouts.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDNcrlsTb1
I mean, I am running away, but I'll be back - with ropes.
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6BmjeM2K7q
I'm not scared of you.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuDUUdYylf
You should be.
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EXT. A LIBRARY - LATER THAT DAY
GREGORY and CHANTAL walk around searching for something.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOLiRzBvybK
I feel sure I left my ropes somewhere around here.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwtNuyEDUKX
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly ropes.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMs7GuEQ1lH
You know nothing Chantal Malkovich.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmmgHxnMVH
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.
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Suddenly, SHARON appears, holding a pair of ropes.
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5IyHLIEUgj
Looking for something?
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡud1oAhmj2b
Crikey, Gregory, she's got your ropes.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrfrVvnCxa
Tell me something I don't already know!
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH0c5URyw5c
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4gSnkOiLT0
I know that already!
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRaO1GnxUq
I pick my nose and eat it.
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXXqf6bNM0a
(appalled) Dude!
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While SHARON is looking at CHANTAL with disgust, GREGORY lunges forward and grabs his deadly ropes. He wields them, triumphantly.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlklHU4mGbR
Prepare to die, you spiteful cauliflower!
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLVgHQhgg8c
No please! All I did was exterminate a bunch of swimmers!
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HARRY enters, unseen by any of the others.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ13XL6IkofM
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those swimmers were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Gregory Butterscotch defender of innocent swimmers.
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsn2jGdm4h
Don't hurt me! Please!
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxbYTlwWy6Y
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these ropes on you right away!
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6qP1uCmsAb
Because Gregory, I am your mother.
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GREGORY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPrwWNbgC9M
No you're not!
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SHARON504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSohdDdmNIS
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.
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SHARON tries to grab the ropes but GREGORY dodges out of the way.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0m1feDPvh7
Who's the mummy now? Huh? Huh?
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Unexpectedly, SHARON slumps to the ground.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUclCmdIrM9
Did she just faint?
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeV6X1fzEdS
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly ropes.
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GREGORY crouches over SHARON's body.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6d8SxInpvM
Be careful, Gregory. It could be a trick.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMl6jC7nV0E
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Sharon Pigeon is dead!
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8tRea3Xx8
What?
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafyXKMiu2b
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.
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CHANTAL claps her hands.
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CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiaQfEO1mp
So your ropes did save the day, after all.
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HARRY steps forward.
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HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuHLtgZqJAW
Is it true? Did you kill the spiteful alien?
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK7vugmrQSl
Harry how long have you been...?
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HARRY puts his arm around GREGORY.
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HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8oHWsMgTB
Long enough.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6WB9707wOe
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Sharon Pigeon.
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HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2YtCciRF2
Then the swimmers are safe?
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlZO9RIJHrf
It does seem that way!
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A crowd of vulnerable swimmers enter, looking relived.
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HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7Brzl9B5V
You are their hero.
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The swimmers bow to GREGORY.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmqNopRKKXC
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Sharon Pigeon will never exterminate swimmers ever again, is enough for me.
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HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOFqKCwiqVs
You are humble as well as brave!
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One of the swimmers passes GREGORY a magic ring
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HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAAnUA813og
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqN1ZZ4FOLP
I couldn't possibly.
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Pause.
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GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFiH1Clgrdf
Well, if you insist.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuK7WTxDnmK
GREGORY takes the ring.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkQolwN2H5q
GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexHC4G00G0
Thank you.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5uE7adezqE
The swimmers bow their heads once more, and leave.
GREGORY turns to HARRY.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zqSSQ3thJ
GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBPRetnyoFj
Does this mean you want me back?
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvJ6iyWZum
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZPEZpB9S8
HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCoIYkCJNi8
Oh, Gregory, of course I want you back!
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4BV02yNf8B
GREGORY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPeNIS9K2H
GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRY0e33DQFL
Well you can't have me.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAOq3ZZiN1M
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhy1CWRdth
HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM98i4Pqp8w
WHAT?
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIspH6p8spe
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXWZ2ISExi
GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJFiMjyqpo
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a alien to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUf0w0QdpqK
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHK7HmxM2fF
HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhvSjavp9XV
But...
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzvobSgSGY
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHlrH2hN1kX
GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8VdVQLlEb3
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, Chantal.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHA75RBSVE
CHANTAL grins.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIqVQh9DsYp
HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtQznZMz5w9
But...
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYQTWKXy9rT
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBoNu6sH5md
CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bHlhoxkVS
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEF3y7rG7Su
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡr8GchCjYwh
HARRY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdfYoUZG1Y6
Gregory?
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpqVDC16zN
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgusoym7CoK
GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtULdfJkOw
I'm sorry Harry, but I think you should skidaddle.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8geYJcMDMQ
HARRY leaves.
CHANTAL turns to GREGORY.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtAXuxJVGMr
CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNobsARUgFs
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFm0uLTbj3r
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwa7K1KMQ16
GREGORY504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJwmrxkfwkg
Of course you are!
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwsUJVji4aF
The two walk off arm in arm.
Suddenly CHANTAL stops.
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7pWZ3tAwZd
CHANTAL504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7Mj5Ik4mc
When I said I pick my nose and eat it, you know I was just trying to distract the alien don't you?
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDlJ96M8FAa
504Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaiqTE7IRcs
THE END
ns216.73.217.15da2
and then Add to home screen.