The Day the Music Died

Two weeks, five days, seven hours, twenty-nine minutes, and a handful of seconds…..

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That was how long she had been gone, and to Emmet, that was a lifetime. The minutes before her death were pure hell, as he held her head in his arms, and screamed, begging someone to help. But no one came to help the boy, who held his bleeding girlfriend’s head of the cold concrete. When he called 9-1-1, they came, but not fast enough. She bled out in his arms, her wrist pale, except where the blood flowed down her arms. She was unconscious when he had found her, the self inflicted wounds familiar, the same thing he had done many times before. How many times had she knocked the blade from his hand? How many failed suicide attempts had he made?

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Notebooks lay scattered across his bedroom floor;half written songs filled their pages. Only one notebook wasn’t tossed into the floor, and that was the one he held in his hands. Alexis’ mother had given it to him at Alexis’ funeral. He still hadn’t opened it; the truth was, he was afraid of what he would find in his love’s notebook.

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On the front, written in her careful handwriting was: The Day the Music Died, written by Alexis Rissler. Underneath that was picture of them, taken on his seventeenth birthday. For a minute,Emmet closed his eyes and went back to that night.

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“Emmet, smile for the camera babe,” a voice called. “It’s not often you let me take pictures of you and Alexis.”

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He turned and faced his mother, pulling his girlfriend close, and kissing her, just as his mother snapped the photo. A smile formed on her face as she watched her only child smile for the first time in months. His shirt sleeves were rolled up, scars from the months that he had spent in a deep depression visible on his wrist.

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They made a picture perfect couple. He stood 6’3”, a couple inches taller than she did. Her shoulder length brown hair was blowing in the wind, framing her face. She wore his leather jacket, despite the warmth of the day. She wore her heart on her sleeve, and it was easy to see that she owned his heart.

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“Emmet,” she said, breathless. “You can’t kiss me like that, your mother is like, right there.”

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He laughed, a deep laugh, the kind that a mother missed.

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“It’s alright Alexis. After all, I’ve walked in on the two of you doing much more than that,” his mother told her, watching the twos faces turn bright red.

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“Mother!” he yelled, as Alexis buried her face into his shirt. He didn’t need to be reminded that his mother had walked in on them when they were in the middle of….very personal things.

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“Alexis,” he whispered, clutching the notebook to his chest. “You were always writing, but you never let me read what you had written. And now...now you’re gone…” his voice broke, the tears he had held back threatened to fall. But he couldn’t...he didn’t cry at her funeral and he wouldn’t cry now.

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With shaky hands, he opened the notebook, and began to read Alexis’ writing.

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Emmet, my love, you always wanted to read this. And if you are reading this, it means that I am no longer a part of this lifetime. You may not understand why things happened like they did, but if you can hold on and read this, then you will. I’m sorry, because I know I have hurt you, or otherwise, you wouldn’t be reading this. I’m sorry that you have to go on without me. You told me that I was the reason the music flowed through your veins, but for me, i was already gone. You see, a part of me died the day the music died. But, that doesn’t make sense does it? Don’t worry it will. Just keep reading. it may be hard, but keep reading.

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Love forever,

Alexis Rissler XOXOXOXO

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Emmet blinked, his eyes full of tears. He shook his head, before slowly turning the page.

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Once I heard music everywhere. The wind in the trees, the chirping of birds, the laugh of children all held music. It wasn’t like that rap crap that the radios would play. No, this was the kind of music that you felt deep in your soul. My mother always said I danced to the beat of my own drum, and maybe that was true.

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Then one day, the music stopped. It was the night of my thirteenth birthday. The day had been great, but that night my step-brother took it all away. I didn’t ask what he had in mind when he invited me into his bedroom, after all, i had been in there before. But I never would have dreamed of what he had he mind. That was the night I lost a very important part of me, because I lost my innocence.

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Emmet had to close the book for a moment. He couldn’t believe it. He and Jonas were never close, and the twenty-year-old made it clear that he didn’t like Emmet, but he never dreamed that he would do something so….and to his step-sister, the little girl he claimed he cared for. Not sure he liked where this was going, Emmet picked up the notebook and once again began to read.

You are probably wondering why I didn’t tell my mom or step-dad what Jonas was doing. The truth is, I often wondered that myself. I think fear was the biggest factor;fear that no one would want me. Or maybe it was because in my eyes, things had changed. I no longer heard the music that I embraced. It was replaced by silence, and you should know just how haunting the silence can be.

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For years, I hid behind a forced smile, until the first night I saw you perform. It was July 15, a hot summer evening. My girlfriends and I had used fake id’s to get into the bar. We had all been sipping at our drinks and flirting with every guy in sight when you took the stage.

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Emmet, your voice was so wonderful. And your song, it hit so close to home. For the first time in two years I was able to hear the music once more. I think that was the moment I fell in love with you. You were like a fallen angel on that stage, all dressed in black. Your long sleeves seemed so out of place.

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When you finished singing, you hopped down of the stage. Slowly, you made your way to the door. I watched you go, loving the way you walked, your hips swaying slightly to the song that was playing now. I ran up next to you and put on my best smile, the one that always got guys to look my way.

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You gave me a brief smile, but never stopped walking.

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"I'm Alexis," I told you, following you as if I was another average fangirl. I would have kept talking, but by then we were on the sidewalk outside, and you were pulling a knife out of your pocket. I watched with a mix of horror and fascination as you pressed the blade to your arm. I couldn't stop myself. I stood on my tip toes and pressed my mouth to yours. I never expected that you would return the kiss or that you would press me against the wall, passion dancing on your tongue.

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"Can you hear it?" I asked , as you reached forward to brush a strand of hair from my face. I reached forward,, placing my hand on your chest.

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"That is our song," I whispered. "I don't believe in love at first sight, but you are mine."

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"You are mine." That line made you laugh.

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"And what do you plan to do to me?" you asked,, winking.

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"Love you until the music dies." And for a while I believed that. Until the day your songs lost their sadness and opened up to a world of happy songs, first loves, stolen innocence, and feelings that never died. I smiled and sang along, sitting beside you on that stage.

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How could you not see that the music was dying? The songs that told our stories,songs about broken hearts, fear, and the demons in us all, were being replaced by songs that only had the happiness, but none of the real truth. The world was turning to false happiness and pretty stories to hide the bitter truth. Love isn't just beautiful, it is bittersweet, painful enough to hurt but addicting enough to leave you on your knees begging for more.

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Where did your songs go? The ones written in the scars on your wrist from a silver handled blade, the scar on your chest where you turned a shotgun on yourself. What happened to those, or did love make you turn a blind eye?

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I loved seeing you happy, loved hearing your upbeat songs. But, I realised I was living a lie. Every photograph showed up, the perfect couple, smiles on both our faces. You never saw that I was dying inside. But I was.

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Ive been working on writing this for a long time, knowing that you will see this after I am long gone. I have included some songs I have written in the next few pages. If you never read them more than once, that’s ok. I was never good at writing lyrics, but I tried.

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Please, don’t let the music die for you like it did for me. Once the music dies, all is lost.

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Emmet sat back, suddenly understanding what Alexis had been trying to tell him all along. He understood exactly what she meant, because the day she died was the day……the day that the music died. Turning the page, he began to read the lyrics she had written, his mind forming the music that would go with the song.

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Do you recall the night

everything went up in flames

Musicians were singing their songs

but the music had gone away

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The night that the music died

and hearts forgot to beat

the night that the music died

can be blamed on you and me

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And where along the way