"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZfe0NhnemP
"Okay, bye."428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5itX1j0aS
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKku5yU4d6T
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjnEZELiij2
At least until I return for another counseling session.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqV8jJJMlKi
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAqwiyTvCfP
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvW0ZX08ZNM
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgaDjGviWLU
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMJxvzHUP0
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpd2xWIFwhr
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6YAm6JCXp
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu9ApCqCy6Q
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAVHG6HuUY
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEEojxVCx6r
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKANnqFu98N
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmyJUOpFCXy
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYXSk4UOU4o
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6PKS60Xs7
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpYU1anT3II
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Y7FdA6FBT
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8rdWE86tS
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡggmApMAL1y
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiki2o8aOJ9
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRqaZ98YMB
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXwpFztZakO
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrqZIk8wPQ
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAgF9J9GIJo
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYmQvGwUzdD
This is DEPRESSION.”
428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuafHTOzM26
428Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHbO2BERyp
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