"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBjC51R5ni
"Okay, bye."420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdiqGfV2J4R
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIoJ2mdAl1F
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ALJuCedfr
At least until I return for another counseling session.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBF6RSVcaxU
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG4MNyNAPvM
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4SmAvBzRA
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJll8vfNTA
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lCHrwhaFI
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzmkmNGMJj
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5ePiEtlyX
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRXwqJsuGC
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU85m2cTkOz
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYaEbWOGKHh
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡefZGofVvCm
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnJ8etmcKyZ
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7c7BFXAdZt
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIc9SltdMXp
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6b5mDaQ0qu
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5JKU7lNWgw
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡafc6QaolHH
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6mykSfZ4Jt
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPxxzbpbLX
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMPvpn3whz
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNhM4jDGGWi
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNMqHDeA7zp
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJqYWzn8XB
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡogZw0b8ojW
This is DEPRESSION.”
420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHV2PFo80y
420Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUY0cVhCFPT
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