I eventually found my letter after digging through Word (don't ask, I have a lot of Word docs) and realized that after spending a week on it, it was trash. So I metaphorically burned it and wrote a new one after a week or so :>
~-------~
♡
It was right before I hit the pavement when I met you. My hands splayed before me, ready to catch myself as I’d been taught so many times before. But yours were the ones who saved me. The memory has tried to unravel and leave in invisible strings, and yet I was able to grab the threads and hold them dear. Hold them tight and coil them around my fingers, around my palm, around my heart. Although I’d never admit it. I knew I should hate you from the moment you caught me, and some parts of me did. I did not want help. Nor did I need it. Life had shoved me down time and time again, and I had learned to get back up. I had learned to shove it back. You had found my one moment of weakness and used it. A small simple gesture had sent my whole mind spiraling. Pathetic, isn’t it? I thought that failure would be the last of it, but no. You’ve now caught me time and time again. And the more you do...The harder it is to hate you. I should be mad. I should have a fiery hatred burning within me...But I don’t. You’ve dismantled my entire way of thinking. You looked me straight and the eye and told me that sometimes it’s ok to fall, and sometimes you may need help to get back again. I always felt alone, surrounded by faces I could not identify, and surrounded by bodies that were nothing but enemies waiting to be found. I always thought that I needed to catch myself. But now I’m falling harder than before, and I don’t want to get back up again. I want to fall into your arms and stay there forever. I want you to catch me and carry me home.
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Hah. How soft I’ve become. I’m sure you make every girl feel this way. Whether purposely or just because of your nature. You have a way of making people feel special. Of making them feel loved, like they’re the only person that matters. I know I’m foolish and naïve, I know that I’m not the one. But I don’t care. Please, love...
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Don’t forget to catch me.
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