《最接近的陌生距離》(一) - 07

「Miss Wong 我鍾意你！」呢句說話喺我心裡面不斷吶喊！但我理性嘅一面奮力咁壓制住呢份衝動、呢隻猛獸！

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唔好講！千祈唔好講！講咗就冇彎轉架啦！

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如果講咗，佢一定覺得我痴線！一定覺得我唔正常！Matthew 件事好困擾佢，我點可以再比麻煩佢呀？講出口佢一定憎我！一定會避我！一定會⋯⋯但⋯⋯

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但係！

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我真係好鍾意Miss Wong啊！

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Miss Wong呢刻一面不解，似乎呢刻佢都感受到我有啲嘢想同佢講！

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「Miss ！」我鼓起勇氣，唔理咁多：「我⋯⋯！」

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正當我想向Miss表白之時，有一把聲喺門外傳入嚟。

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「好嘢！係我第一！咦？」

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我同Miss Wong 一齊望出門口，發現係阿波身水身汗衝咗入嚟。但當佢一見到Miss Wong喺度時，就嚇到跌低，真係成粒波咁喺地上面碌多咗幾下！

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阿波狼狽咁起返身，因為佢衝住咁入課室，搞到佢好驚咁望住Miss Wong。此時Miss Wong即刻變返做女王，行去阿波度沈住怒氣咁講：「講咗唔准喺走廊跑架喎！」阿波嚇到支吾其詞。

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Miss Wong 鬧咗阿波幾句後就擰轉頭同我講：「班長，幫我搬返啲簿落我個位度。」佢又用返女王嘅冷漠口吻講。

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我即刻聽幫佢手，氣氛咁老尷，真係難頂。當我離開課室後先可以鬆咗口氣！我冷靜返落嚟後心諗好彩冇講出口咋！學生鍾意老師！傻架咩？表白咗又點呀？我死𡃁仔嚟咋！Miss Wong點會同我一齊呀？

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⋯⋯係囉。

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我鍾意Miss Wong咁又點？打從一開始，我嘅暗戀係唔會有任何結果。

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喺落去教員室途中，我不自覺回憶起頭先Miss Wong 睇到張紙仔時嘅表情同眼神真係同平時唔同。即使Miss Wong 有溫柔同關心人嘅一面，但頭先佢嘅表情就好似⋯⋯被感動到?頭先佢欲言又止咁，到底佢想同我講咩呢？

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當我行到教員室附近時，我感覺周身唔舒服。我環視四周，原來身邊嘅老師都紛紛對我投下奇怪嘅目光。

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「吓！個衰仔會幫老師拎嘢？」

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「匡少撞咗邪呀？」

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「幾點呀？佢咁早到嘅？」

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佢地唔止好似見到怪人咁望住我，亦都交頭接耳對我議論紛紛⋯⋯喂！我做返乖仔有幾出奇呀？我白佢地一眼就拿拿聲行入教員室。

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老實講，我真係唔知Miss Wong個位喺邊，但係我又唔敢問老師，所以索性慢慢搵。不過都唔算太難搵嘅，只要搵到一個人就可以搵到Miss Wong個位——戇男黎Sir。

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之前跟開嘅青年中心社工成日同我講行為反映心理，有啲人比較難觀察出佢行為背後嘅心理。但黎Sir就一定好容易由行為估到佢諗咩。喺Miss Wong嘅徵召名單之中，黎Sir必定係名列榜首。果然，我見到黎Sir離開自己位，然後行去窗台邊嘅其中一個座位前。只見佢神色焦慮不安，但又唔似做虧心事，佢似係忐忑緊應唔應該做一個重要嘅決定——送禮物比人。

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黎Sir走咗去上堂，我就走埋去佢頭先放低禮物嘅位度。果然！呢個真係Miss Wong 嘅位！枱面上放咗罐冰凍咖啡，咖啡嘅拉蓋上仲攝咗張紙仔。

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「Miss Wong :

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呢排見你做得好夜，個人明顯攰咗。呢罐啡幫你打打氣。你加油呀！

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黎Sir」

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哇，黎Sir啲字同我不相伯仲喎！

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當我放低疊簿之後，我仔細咁望住Miss Wong個位。佢係我老師，總覺得呢個關係係非常之遠。平時見到嘅佢多數係冰冷女王咁；但佢生活嘅點滴、習慣我係一無所知。而佢嘅位正正係透露緊佢係一個點樣嘅人。

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教員室淋浴喺一片早晨陽光之中。Miss Wong 呢個位剛好冇比太陽曬住。我見到佢放咗啲植物喺窗台上，加上整齊枱面、書卷味嘅擺設，配合整個教員室早晨氛圍之下。我好似想像得到Miss Wong平時喺呢個位做嘢時嘅樣——好安靜、好認真、好執著自己嘅工作。而佢認真工作時嘅樣，一定係好吸引、好靚。

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我再仔細望，發現參考書放得好整齊，而且書嘅排列亦明顯講究，同一係系列嘅書要放埋一齊，絕對唔可以中間攝其他書入去，否則Miss一定會睇唔順眼。Miss個位係搵唔到一張佢嘅生活照。佢成個位都好簡約，除咗參考書、學生功課同埋一兩個擺設就冇其他嘢。

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呢個時候我聽到電話震動嘅聲音。Miss Wong 原來將部手機放咗喺枱上面，我好奇咁望咗眼，見到電話顯示咗段訊息。

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「Vick ：你發完細路女脾氣未？都話咗今晚我要見客啊！你唔係有好多男朋友架咩？你搵佢地陪你囉！」

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呢段訊息睇到我都突！

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Vick? 邊個嚟架？睇呢段訊息似係男朋友喎！但Miss之前唔係同周Sir咩？然後就Matthew⋯⋯跟住就⋯⋯佢話Miss有好多男朋友即係⋯⋯嘩！訊息量大增！

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一段訊息唔夠，未來嘅一分鐘裡面仲彈出三個男人嘅虛寒問暖。其中有兩個係學校嘅阿Sir。

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我仲有好多對手等住逐一擊破喎！我忐忑不安咁四處張望，最後我個目光就落咗喺黎Sir送比Miss Wong嘅咖啡上面。

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我凝視住咖啡上面嘅紙仔，上面一堆好醜嘅字⋯⋯⋯

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嘴角忍唔住笑了。

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一個充滿惡作劇嘅笑意⋯⋯

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我順手牽羊，靜雞雞拎走罐咖啡，然後神不知鬼不覺下離開教員室。

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呢一刻我又忍唔住笑。惡作劇不嬲就好似興奮劑咁刺激。我心諗，係，可能有好多對手同我爭Miss。而且我追到Miss嘅機會係零。既然係咁⋯⋯⋯

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我媾唔到，你地班垃圾都咪洗旨意埋到Miss Wong 身！

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所以，黎Sir，Sorry啦！呢罐咖啡當係請我飲啦！

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剛剛嘅惡作劇唔知點解好似令我諗通咗啲嘢。我好似冇咗單戀Miss Wong的失落感。但我好肯定自己仲係好鍾意Miss Wong。只係覺得呢個惡作劇令我有一種做返衰仔嘅感覺。哈，有趣嘅係，我做衰仔得嚟又唔會比人罰喎！簡直係完美嘅平衡！

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更重要係咩？我諗通咗啦！係！我點都冇可能追到Miss Wong架啦！但我可以做佢隻兵架嘛！當我愈明白我同Miss Wong嘅差距時，我就愈清楚自己應該要喺咩位置上。佢對我溫柔咁笑，傾多一兩句計都已經夠我開心一日。做佢隻兵仔氹佢開心夠做有特啦！

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不過做兵還做兵，我自問自己絕對唔會好似啲戇鳩鳩中年阿sir做炮灰。要做就做偵測兵、做間諜、我只對自己忠誠。當我諗通咗之後，我就豁然開朗！

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「⋯⋯今日就教到呢度。各位同學有冇問題要問？」

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「有！」我舉起手。

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Miss Wong好驚訝咁望住我，所有同學都大吃一驚。佢地應該心諗：「匡哥會問書！？」

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Miss Wong對住我點一點頭，示意我企起身問。

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「《六國論》最尾一段唔多明，Miss可唔可以解多一次？」

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此時我聽到後面啲同學起哄。咁梗係啦差唔多小息先問咁大段嘢，實比人小老母啦！好彩Miss Wong都識做，微微一笑就話：「差唔多小息啦。你唔好搞到成班遲放啦。有問題午息或者放學再嚟問我啦。」Miss Wong對我露出我從未見過嘅笑容，應該因為我主動問書令佢覺得欣慰。

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我就係要呢啲！！

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呢個時候打小息鐘，Miss Wong 就話：「科長，幫手派埋今日嘅功課。」

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「等我嚟！」我又成個人彈起。

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Miss Wong個神情又變得更驚訝，佢應該諗緊我今日係咪食錯咗藥。只見佢一時間反應唔嚟咁講：「咁⋯⋯班長你同科長一齊派啦。」

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Miss Wong吩咐完之後就走咗。我同阿偉兩兄弟就派埋今日嘅功課。期間我同佢邊派邊傾計，佢話：「匡哥你轉死性呀？」

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佢又做一個「看透世事嘅樣」加一個「好想打佢嘅奸笑」。我話：「偉哥，我得罪咗Miss冇運行呀。梗係做乖仔啦。點敢得罪佢同埋佢後面啲仔sssss呀。」

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阿偉冷冷一笑就話：「下話？我都收唔唔少風喎。洗唔洗過啲比你？等你快啲重建返個好印象比Miss Wong睇嘛。」

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「咁好死？」

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「咁梗係要啲甜頭啦。」

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「請你飲啡！」

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「就咁話！」

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然後我使出一招借花獻佛，將黎Sir送比Miss Wong嘅咖啡轉贈比阿偉！於是我獲得非常珍貴嘅情報！

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數學科主任陳Sir突然對文學好有興趣，問Miss Wong借咗D書嚟睇。

圖書館主任張Sir最近Lunch成日落嚟教員室搵我女神，似乎想同Miss Wong熟啲。聽講佢地好似有活動要夾。

周Sir想箍煲，但同一時間佢繼續針對緊Matthew師兄⋯⋯唉！聽講佢呢排成日開訓導會議，特登搞到Miss Wong要好遲先走得。

黎Sir想追我女人，但極度淆底，威脅程度好低。正柒頭。

有好多九唔搭八嘅阿sir都想埋Miss Wong身。

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咦？阿偉比啲料都係同Miss Wong啲狂風浪蝶有關嘅？阿偉呢條友仔⋯⋯唔係知道咗我鍾意Miss Wong呀？

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重建形象工程繼續進行。食完Lunch之後唔去打波。我去咗教員室外面啲位清功課。我發現呢個位置真係絕佳情報位。眼之所見，耳之所聽，真係咩風都收晒。我聽到其他女老師圍埋講Miss壞話，話佢勾人老公、搏表現、靠周Sir先做到咁多重要嘅位等等⋯⋯唉，聽到我都唔舒服。

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當我見到班三姑六婆由講到興高采烈突然煞有介事咁散晒，我就知道Miss Wong嚟咗。佢好慣常咁拎起我啲功課睇下做成點，然後咩都冇講就返去教員室拎啲筆記比我。

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「溫咗書先做啦。我唔想又彈你功課呀！」Miss Wong講完就走，但比起之前幾日，我感覺到佢態度真係軟晒。至於今朝嘅事，我實在好想知道佢其實想同我講啲咩。

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呢個時候，我見到數學科主任陳Sir喺走廊頭嚟緊。佢係一位四五十歲嘅男人，矮Miss Wong少少，最正係佢好似中咗毒咁，兩片嘴唇係呈紫醬之色。所以我地叫佢做「中毒陳」。

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係，唔止中毒，佢個樣仲好撚毒添。「中毒陳」一見Miss Wong就狗公格上身，撲都撲唔切咁行咗上嚟，仲「Miss Wong! Miss Wong!」咁叫。即使Miss背住我都好，我都想像到佢表情係幾咁尷尬。

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「中毒陳」拎起本《台北人》滔滔不絕咁同Miss Wong講自己幾有得著。睇Miss Wong嘅身體語言就可以知佢真想快啲離開呢度。

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「陳Sir, 我要去當值。不如你將本書放喺我位。」

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「啊！好呀！我⋯⋯想再睇多幾本白先勇嘅作品！我希望好似你咁有文學氣息。」

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「嗯⋯⋯！你隨便拎呀。不過唔好整亂書嘅排序喎。」

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「啊！明白明白！我都有呢啲強迫症。就上次⋯⋯」

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「陳Sir, 我去做嘢先。bye。」

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「嗯！好bye bye。」

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「中毒陳」咁樣比人請食檸檬法都仲好開心咁喎！咁樣衰都想媾我女神⋯⋯咦？我嘴角揚起笑意，按奈唔住心中嘅衝動。於是我求其拎住份功課，以交功課為藉口走入教員室。

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因為午息嘅關係，大部分老師一係去咗當值，一係就出咗外面食Lunch，所以就冇咩人。我一邊觀察住「中毒陳」一邊慢慢行。我就好似潛入敵陣嘅間諜，要扮到好自然咁避開老師嘅目光，又要唔可以跟甩目標。然後我見到「中毒陳」去到Miss Wong位攝本《台北人》入書架，再拎走另一本書，然後佢好愉快咁離開。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJDpwJLR77U

此時我跟上去，見到書架上面有一行白先勇系列，本《台北人》就就整整齊齊咗攝咗喺中間。果然我分析係冇錯，由Miss Wong執我寫字到佢放得咁整齊嘅書，佢對整齊係有一種病態性嘅強迫！如果我整亂咗佢，咁「中毒陳」就⋯⋯嘿嘿嘿嘿！！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboJq7C8DTU

於是我喺整齊嘅書列之中拎返本《台北人》出嚟。循例都要幫Miss Wong check下「中毒陳」有冇拎本書嚟打飛機⋯⋯傻架咩！對往白先勇打飛機？然後我一揭開就見到張紙仔咁樣寫⋯⋯

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「Miss Wong:

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本書好好睇，多謝你推介比我。平時做野好忙，好少同你傾到關於文學嘅嘢。學校附近有一間cafe，不如搵日我地去嗰度食Lunch。到時我地再慢慢傾呀。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcGERwDWyz

放學你再覆我啦。

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陳Sir」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4crMVVTwG

啲字⋯⋯唉⋯⋯你都係寫返數字算啦！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdFr5drhwwC

「嘿⋯⋯你今次唔好彩啦紫嘴。」我暗暗笑說，張紙仔即刻變廢紙。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiPCdeeEJL

我又心諗搞亂啲書本次序好似都唔夠。我睇「中毒陳」平時呢呢啡啡，張枱就哪哪渣渣⋯⋯啊哈！！對唔住呀「中毒陳」⋯⋯啊！唔係！係對唔住呀Miss Wong，我鍾意你，所以唔想你被呢隻毒撚騷擾。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGbNiQSryVg

我靜雞雞走去「中毒陳」個位度（好易認，有曱甴屍嗰個就係），冒住生命危險喺佢位度搵到一隻名為「德國蟑螂」乾屍。然後用好細嘅寶貼將條乾屍痴落書背度！呢下我計過架啦，當Miss Wong一見到隻曱甴屍唔止嚇一跳，仲即刻聯想到「中毒陳」拎佢本珍藏嚟拍曱甴！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnE62BaXsKx

哈哈哈⋯⋯我真係忍唔住笑！「中毒陳」怪就怪你之前睇死我升唔到班啦！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbPUG1RpB5e

然後我搞埋啲手尾，求其將本書掉喺Miss Wong張枱度，再整亂佢「白先勇系列」嘅次序，仲將其中一兩本攝落啲參考書度。當我轉身離開嗰下，就覺得自己好似電影啲特務咁，係差個背景整啲爆炸effect。有就真係完美啦！

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17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9SHGBR0vpP

= = = =

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鈴————！放學啦！我最期待嘅畫面即將出現啦！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3M7rQ3AYus

「Goodbye Class!」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbmI7zCD4rL

Miss Wong講完再見後，我就即刻出嚟截住佢，我話：「Miss, 我想問返今朝《六國論》最後一段嘅問題呀。」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBPgfP3P1r

「嗯！好呀。」佢執拾緊雜物咁講：「咁你順手幫我拎啲呢嘢落我位呀。」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnfGFj56ka

「好啊！」我笑住講：「同埋⋯⋯我想今日留堂。」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GNeY1zYk6

Miss Wong聽到「留堂」兩個字後明顯有偷偷笑咗下，然後又好嚴肅咁講：「都冇人要罰你。唔洗留堂喎。」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4O2JlXPdQ

我難為情咁搔一搔後腦，話：「哈⋯⋯咁，之前逃學要留堂一星期嘛。呢條數未清，我又走咗四五日，我諗應該要留堂留一個月嘅！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzqfPxtlaHU

Miss Wong 嚴肅嘅表情有一個微笑，佢話：「拎嘢啦。」佢將疊簿推咗比我。然後我同佢一齊離開課室。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz42Az8EWnu

話說，我都係第一次同Miss Wong喺學校入面行咁長嘅路。唔知係咩原因，我同佢除咗保持住一個身位嘅距離外，我地都冇講啲咩。我個人覺得氣氛有啲老尷。但係我實在有好多嘢想同佢講，包括關心佢嘅嘢同埋今朝佢講又講唔出口嘅說話。不過我覺得最重要嘅係呢一句——

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ0IopQZczQ

「Miss Wong!」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOr5AX6zVc7

「嗯？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcfKf3AH3MT

「多謝你！」我好想多謝佢幫我同副校求情。

佢詫異咁笑，就話：「好地地做咩講多謝呀？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ77PWTGjthV

「你⋯⋯你⋯⋯」但最後我竟然好想講「你真係好錫我呀！」⋯⋯點講出口呀戇鳩！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZG9tYXerh

我突然心跳加速，講嘢都吞吐起嚟。最後，我九唔搭八咁講：「多謝你比我留堂呀！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSUldORUDh8

下！咩邏輯呢架？

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgL9dreyMgd

「吓？」Miss Wong忍唔住笑說：「你低B架？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FjyzkTEjy

「啊⋯⋯⋯！哈哈⋯⋯哈哈⋯⋯」頂！Miss Wong 個甜笑真係攞我命！搞到我剩係識傻笑。塊面！唔准紅！唔准紅呀！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKnV33ACWlg

佢皺一皺眉，佢都好難理解我發生緊咩事。佢輕聲咁鬧：「低B仔。」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8JtGHUAFbc

低⋯⋯低B仔？咦喂！佢唔係叫我做「班長」喎！咁即係代表Miss已經完全唔嬲我啦！好嘢！

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= = = =

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOLGEC2p4b

終於嚟到教員室嗰層。離遠已經見到「中毒陳」喺教員室外面等緊Miss Wong。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhJYZ6THPHZ

「Miss Wong!」「中毒陳」真係烚熱狗頭咁嘅樣。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInGnvQ1Hck

Miss Wong表現有啲老尷，睇嚟佢對埋身媾佢嘅人都好敏感。但礙於禮貌，佢點頭打個招呼。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2wnVKb3lw

「陳Sir, 搵我有事？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlfUSH616E2

「哈哈，係呀係呀⋯⋯唔知你答應成點呢？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ2M7W0gICF

Miss Wong一面疑惑，問：「唔好意思，唔係好明你講緊咩。」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNuYh5EiKJx

「中毒陳」話：「咦？啊⋯⋯其實我留咗張Memo喺你本書度。我問你⋯⋯」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7yKFn1PKvl

「噢，Sorry。 Lunch之後我直落到放學。我一直未返埋位。」Miss Wong禮貌咁微笑：「張便條係講啲咩架？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhO8V3SskJf

「中毒陳」好難為情咁笑，說話：「我⋯⋯拎比你睇。」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzSRMAdO5Y

當我想跟埋入去教員室食花生時，「中毒陳」好唔客氣咁同我講：「同學！你唔入得教員室喎！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHqXXR7MHwe

我唔出聲，報以一個神秘嘅微笑，我就睇下「中毒陳」你仲可以惡得幾耐！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0M9hQ76lGV

「班長幫緊我拎嘢。」Miss Wong同「中毒陳」講。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXvwD5Amf3

Miss Wong開到口，「中毒陳」都唔敢阻住晒。我笑嬉嬉咁對住佢，屌⋯⋯我真係好撚興奮呀！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWID03yIp5O

喺行去Miss Wong位途中，「中毒陳」不斷撩佢講嘢，扮晒識文學咁睇咗邊啲詩詞歌賦呀，又話白先勇啲書好撚滾動佢呀，亦無啦啦念起詩嚟⋯⋯吖！佢好嘢喎！短短路程就吹咗咁多嘢！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjevTm1aalK

咁又點呀，Miss Wong保持禮貌嘅笑容，但我感覺到佢已經非常煩厭。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtyy8tHCI2j

當行到Miss位時，我感覺到Miss Wong身邊嘅氣場立即劇變！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqxQ5K8J3xu

「⋯⋯⋯」佢望去書架，見到「中四級中國語文課本」旁邊攝住咗白先勇嘅《紐約客》同《孽子》！同我預期嘅一樣呀！Miss Wong真係好憎比人搞亂佢啲書！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmS2lJ8Hm65

「中毒陳」仲唔識死咁喺旁邊繼續講。然後佢見到本《台北人》放咗喺枱度先識得收聲，好詫異咁講：「咦？我明明攝咗落書架度喎！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmIBIdC1x8w

「中毒陳」滿面疑惑，可能佢自己開心得滯都忘記咗有冇攝返本書入去。教數嘅人係咪除咗記數字就記唔到其他嘢呢？只見佢拎起本書，想搵返約Miss Wong嘅便條出嚟時，個「加料」書背就——

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE3zgFyorV3

——呢一刻成個世界靜晒！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugOpHICvla

唔係！係暴風雨前嘅寂靜！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTmtNIoyhI

剎那間我好似見到一下閃電，跟住一聲雷響！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDrvbEPxGEh

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Eb1CtvGqS

「啊———！」

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17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7oecFyVSn

唔係雷響！係Miss Wong嘅尖叫！佢本能反應咁縮咗我背後，兩手搭住我膊頭⋯⋯呢鋪我發達呀！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5Go6itENAX

「中毒陳」如夢初醒咁回神過來，問：「咩事呀？！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLrS9uz1F5

「曱⋯⋯⋯曱⋯⋯曱⋯⋯」Miss Wong喺我背後伸咗隻震晒嘅手指出嚟，佢把聲係前所未有咁驚。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGWzYgCO37Z

「吓？！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgJhQzt1fx

「仲吓咩呀！即刻放低本書舉高雙手！」呢個時候我梗係撥下火啦！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWHWyS74Bfv

「曱甴呀！」Miss Wong喺我肩後申個頭出嚟叫：「本書⋯⋯本書啊！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUIg6DL19gt

「吓？嘩！」「中毒陳」大吃一驚，好似揸住個殺人凶器咁掉咗本書喺枱。成隻小強乾屍顯露我地三個人眼前！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXyECy3ekg

「咩話？」「中毒陳」都嚇咗一跳：「冇可能架喎！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JtQiu992G

「紫嘴, 你污糟就全校都知架啦！」我撥火都唔夠，要火水救火先得。同時間我放低疊簿喺櫈度，拎咗張預備好嘅紙巾出嚟，我指住本書同Miss講：「哇！成塊pizza咁喎！Miss，條紫嘴九成用你本書去拍曱甴呀！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqbLCsshfvm

「你唔好講呀！低B仔！」Miss Wong崩潰咁叫。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyZAMfCUS7a

「我⋯⋯我冇呀！Miss Wong你聽我解釋先⋯⋯」「中毒陳」連忙自救，同時想拎起本書。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGys8HE7x1

我即刻截住佢，然後毁屍滅跡，連埋寶貼執走隻小強，再話：「Miss! 我中一時親眼睇住有隻小強喺紫嘴隻耳仔度爬出嚟呀！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt46cdOK4u0

「同學你唔好亂講喎！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4h01J1bBjo

「我唔想知呀！」Miss Wong繼續驚叫。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4xZWY7U8e

「紫嘴佢嗰把正一筲箕嘴呢架！成日食嘢食到周圍都係，又唔抹嘴！佢個位專養曱甴架！」我一邊扮嘢，一邊忍笑。屌，好撚辛苦呀！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxJ4prSQesG

「唔好再講！你收聲！」Miss Wong喺我耳邊喝罵，只聽見佢抖咗一口大氣，就夾硬令自己冷靜，把聲仲係好驚咁講：「陳Sir! 你即刻還返晒啲書比我！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMbRUgd6k2X

「Miss Wong⋯⋯我⋯⋯」「中毒陳」好無辜又唔知發生咩事，四十歲人烚下烚下咁。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeGsvgu7Kc

「快啲呀！」Miss Wong忍唔住鬧出聲。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxtUkAH3e8L

「中毒陳」叫咗聲哎呀就想走，但被我叫住：「都係唔好煩啦。Miss我幫你拎啦。」我再對「中毒陳」講：「紫嘴你咪埋再嚟添呀！一陣又跌多幾隻小強埋嚟呀！」「中毒陳」嬲到瞪住我。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnmuMvDdxbU

「是旦啦！快啦！」Miss Wong。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf1ziyfRriK

然後我跟住垂頭喪氣嘅「中毒陳」去拎返另一本白先勇小說。之後我返埋去Miss Wong度，見到佢成個人氣急敗壞，問咗其他老師拎疊消毒紙巾，但成個人呆晒企喺度。明顯佢唔知由邊度開始清潔。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx31k36HcRF

「Miss Wong!」我拎起本書叫佢。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGUfbs3V3cI

Miss Wong指住我話：「企喺度！咪埋嚟！」

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我好似被差人逗咁舉高手。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ0OpLb4xWn

「Fing下本書先！」

我照佢指示做，當發現冇小強跌出嚟後Miss Wong指住自己位講：「放呢度！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYUoB0j0ATe

佢好似嚇到失去咗語言能力咁，成個人好神經質。當我放低本書後，Miss Wong猶有餘悸咁講：「搞錯呀！咩人嚟架！污糟成咁架！我本書呀⋯⋯唉！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsw7H8pemva

Miss Wong望住本書好不捨又傷心，然後同我講：「班長，幫我掉咗本書佢！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRVa9N7Joxh

當佢下咗呢個決定後，我留意到佢好唔捨得，於是我問佢：「Miss你好似唔想掉嘅？好重要架？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNxT0hPhsaU

「唉⋯⋯」Miss Wong嘆氣：「我中學嗰時，一位好錫我嘅文學老師送比我架！唉⋯⋯抹又唔係，掉又唔係。」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmywMz2QfpE

嘩！好珍貴嘅情報！忽然我靈光一閃——

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17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RStz9B9nB

「唔得！唔可以掉！」我：「咁有價值嘅嘢點可以話掉就掉架？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh7DoKejy1J

媾Miss第一式：關心佢，重視佢所重視嘅嘢！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7ZAddJpaO

「咁⋯⋯」Miss Wong一下猶豫，似乎呢招有用喎！佢繼續講：「咁可以點處理呀？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCT349mHXUP

叮——！我靈光又閃喇！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUC40ij20b

「借比我呀！我唔怕污糟喎！」我：「我家姐話白先勇啲作品好睇喎！我又想睇下。」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyA76qLpjJ

媾Miss第二式：投其所好⋯⋯扮都要扮出嚟啦！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP4P0Yfq6CT

但係Miss Wong忽然狐疑起嚟，佢唔多信我，佢話：「平時唔多覺你咁鍾意讀書架喎！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubemhUvVwO

「啊⋯⋯」我一時間被問到口啞，但又一下靈光，我緊接講：「咁⋯⋯可以順手借埋比我家姐睇架嘛！係啦！我家姐喺港大讀中文架，佢第時都想做老師喎！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCiYdVMjgN

Miss Wong喺驚慌嘅餘悸中閃出一下訝異嘅神情，好似搵到知音人咁，有啲雀躍咁講：「你家姐都係讀港大中文系嘅？！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRqVkmgU1Fh

「嗯！係呀！今年剛剛Year 1！」我：「咦？Miss你好似都係⋯⋯」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKiocEm5dM

「哈⋯⋯係呀！估唔到喎！你家姐原來係我師妹呀！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoa5Gheo91L

「嘩！咁真係估唔到呀！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIIZsib814A

媾女第三式：R關係！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLabjn5U01

「我地可能見過面添喎！你家姐今年會唔會上莊呀？」Miss Wong好似冇咁驚，仲同我閒談起嚟。講起上嚟，佢第一次同我傾學習以外嘅嘢。

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZus8Gpgrpv

「上莊？咩嚟架？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrOEi5Khmv5

Miss Wong偷偷一笑，就話：「你上到大學就知啦！啊⋯⋯」佢露出一個靈光一閃嘅表情，繼續講：「如果你家姐今年會上莊呢⋯⋯我識下佢都好喎！反正好難見到你家長！見你家姐都得唧！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy3S5hXw3yP

頂呀，佢真係唔會放過接觸我屋企人嘅機會啊！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYXWLu4o09

講下講下，Miss Wong忘記咗驚嘅感覺，佢嘆一口氣就話：「咁呢兩本書⋯⋯你幫我好好保管住喎！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ZXvttyxEu

「得啦！擺我度過個冷河唧！過幾日你就唔會覺得污糟啦！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡncQaEDO1g5

「吓？你話會睇我先借比你喎！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mqYMKW5Fl

「兩樣都有啦！總之⋯⋯我目的係唔想Miss Wong 你要掉咗咁有紀念價值嘅書！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCZTYjJ7jPo

講完之後⋯⋯我呆撚咗！我做咩會講呢啲架？！我望住佢都遲疑咗一秒，然後微笑咁講：「嗯，Thank You!」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2xWGLrM6in

我同佢之間⋯⋯好似又有奇怪嘅氛圍！就好似今朝咁！呢⋯⋯呢個係咩感覺嚟架？！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtF1eyxNvz3

「唉⋯⋯我仲要抹嘢同消毒添！」Miss Wong望一望手錶，喃喃自語咁講：「我而家仲要去留堂班。完咗留堂又要開會⋯⋯」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWD3Ujwo50i

「等我嚟呀！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ3sDvtuUsl

「吓？」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡumubSVPc74

「我幫你抹，你快啲去留堂班啦！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycrZ6u8l62

「老師唔可咁樣叫學生做嘢架！」佢細細聲同我講：「我費事又比同事話啦！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdapPWJzreg

「哎吔！你咪咁婆媽啦！你遲晒到啦！」我催促住佢：「得啦！趁而家教員室冇咩人！我快手搞店啦！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYe5v1pFL7u

Miss Wong猶豫咗陣，最後見佢好感激咁對我點頭：「唔該晒你呀！班長！」說罷了，佢即刻趕去留堂班。走之前同我講：「抹完你就返屋企啦。今日唔留你堂啦！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrV4wWD2x4k

「唔得！我要找清逃學條數呀！」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDsbzSXsPH

Miss Wong反咗我白眼，但佢好快有一下欣慰嘅笑容，佢話：「你鍾意啦下！bye!」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡocDVlWUjrn

「嗯！bye bye Miss Wong!」

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8bGay0OmvA

我目送Miss Wong 走咗，加上教員室又冇老師，所以我即刻yeah一聲叫咗出嚟！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡszqZvg16Jo

我一邊幫Miss Wong抹嘢，一邊回憶今日嘅經歷。我唔止同佢破到冰，佢冇再嬲我！仲同我嘅關係熟咗好多添呀！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡugWdqkVPYj

雖然Miss Wong一定睇唔上「中毒陳」，但可以整蠱佢，又令Miss Wong當佢有菌咁避開，算係一大勝利！諗到呢度，我抹嘢嘅動作都一絲不苟起嚟！我心情仲好愉快添，內心有一種感動叫———

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOKXMBwBDXS
17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMis5BrDVVd

——我做呢隻兵真係做得好幸福啊！

17Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTdHQGWOkFA

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