《最接近的陌生距離》(一) - 05

撞鬼呀呢次！

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我鍾意咗Miss Wong?痴線架咩！而家嘅我好似分裂出兩個人格咁，一邊就鬧我被Miss Wong迷到痴咗線；另一邊不斷回憶佢嘅一切，控制唔到心動嘅感覺！

呢刻嘅感動、心跳同大腦中胡思亂想嘅程度，統統都係暗戀人嘅反應!22Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡITCPW6nnQu

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冇可能架！

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我點會對Miss Wong有非分之想呢！做功課先！唔好亂諗嘢！唔識做就查下Miss比我嘅筆記⋯⋯頂！連筆記都令我諗起佢！理性與感性不斷角力！好辛苦啊！！

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做到咁上下，我唔想再比份筆記影響我！索性亂鳩咁做！當我做晒份工作紙後，我即刻返去課室交功課。一踏出B班房門時，就發現周Sir喺我班門外古古怪怪咁。佢扮晒巡樓，實際想偷睇入面嘅情況。我反而好奇Miss Wong同Matthew 喺課室做緊啲咩，搞到周Sir好焦急咁。

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我一上前，好自然會同周Sir互啤。但周Sir好似被我發現佢做緊虧心事而被我嚇咗一跳，然後再擺晒姿態。

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「你過嚟做咩！」

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「交功課囉！」

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周Sir打量咗我一眼後，就自己走咗，佢塊面黑過包公！周Sir走咗之後，我就望下班入面嘅情況——好正常咋喎！Miss Wong坐喺老師位度，Matthew師兄就企喺度做個人演講。

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Matthew師兄把聲好磁性，十足DJ咁。睇佢明星嘅外表，談吐同神態都相當有自信同魅力。又難怪Miss Wong聽到兩手托腮，十足十個小迷妹咁欣賞自己偶像。

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Miss Wong會仰慕自己學生？我估應該係Matthew師兄呢刻嘅表現吸引到Miss。此時Miss Wong感覺到有人嚟咗，就慢慢行嚟。

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「做晒啦？」Miss Wong開咗門，接過我份嘢求其望兩眼就話：「嗯，算你啦! 我忙緊呀，之後再同你傾下呢份工作紙！」

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Miss Wong bye bye都冇講就想返埋位。呢個時候我叫停佢。佢回頭一望就話：「想問功課？咁你要等我練完Oral先喎！」

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「唔⋯⋯唔係呀。」頂呀！我幾時開始對佢會怕羞成咁，氣勢呢！氣勢喺邊呀喂！

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「呢份筆記係⋯⋯」我舉起份筆記。

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Miss Wong：「係啊！特登整比你架！星期六日溫咗佢，下星期一我會問你書。忙緊，係咁先。」

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「嗯⋯⋯」

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Miss Wong好匆忙咁關上門，令我有一種被拒於門外嘅失落感。

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吓⋯？！失落？

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傍晚六點半，操場。

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「阿偉呢邊呢邊！傳波呀喂！」「屌你杰少睇路啦！」「Mark人啦死肥波！彈你Lin頭呀！」

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B班輸比我之後，放學搵我地復桌，仲要打全場添。

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「做咩呀你！狀態好好咁喎！」阿偉不禁讚下我。

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「Happy Friday呀嘛！」

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呢一刻嘅我心情太複雜，我只係想不斷靠打波嚟分散下注意力。

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搓咗幾下攻守之後，粒波被我射得太大力。一野就飛咗去停車場嗰邊。我地四兄弟一齊去執返粒波，正正因為咁，我地見到啲唔可以見到嘅嘢。

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「⋯⋯哈哈，係呀?今晚咁人齊,實好好玩喇！」

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我聽到Miss Wong把聲由遠至近咁埋呢。因為粒波跌咗落草叢關係，我地四兄弟匿晒入草叢。

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我輕輕撥開啲樹葉，望住兩個人影慢慢行去架車度。

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係Miss Wong同周Sir。

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「我有幾個朋友都單身架，今晚靠你幫手啦。」

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「佢地係咩人嚟架？我啲姊妹要求好高架喎。」

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「放心喎。一定好人嚟先，好似我咁。」周Sir幫Miss Wong開車門，然後口甜舌滑咁講：「阿盈，今晚除咗我之外，不如唔好比其他仔埋身呀。」

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「你呀？哈。」Miss Wong 冷冷一笑，就上咗佢車。

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周Sir搖一搖頭，就上車揸車走人。

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我地四兄弟慢慢喺草叢伸返個頭上嚟。

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「咦？Miss Wong跟周Sir去酒吧玩喎！」杰少：「洗唔洗同Miss Wong講聲先呀？」

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「講咩呀？」阿波。

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「周Sir有老婆仔女架嘛。」阿偉。

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「如果Miss Wong 明知係有婦之夫都仲中個頭埋去，咁擺明做狐狸精啦！」杰少。

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「咁都得？！冇可能，Miss Wong咁靚，佢絕對唔會咁架！」阿波難以置信到講嘢都冇晒邏輯。

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我愈聽就愈覺得個心唔舒服，於是我就話：「關我地咩事呀！打波啦！」

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我都唔知自己想點。

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我唔在乎Miss Wong，佢私生活係點都唔關我事。

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即使佢同Matthew 師兄有啲古怪。

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即使佢收啲阿Sir做兵。

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即使佢做狐狸精⋯⋯一切都唔關我事！

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不過⋯⋯我⋯⋯點會覺得難過架？

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原來，暗戀第一件教識我嘅事就係——若即若離嘅難過。

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吓⋯⋯咪住先⋯⋯連我自己都忍唔住講係「暗戀」？

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Miss嘅魔法真係好犀利。從前星期六同日我只有玩或者返工。但今日我竟然有溫佢份筆記？！我真係唔知自己發生咩事？！

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呢兩日我不斷記起佢，而個心就好似少咗舊嘢咁。好唔舒服，直至我望住Miss送比我嘅筆記時，就好似見到佢個人，心都定咗啲⋯⋯。

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其實係因為我掛住佢⋯⋯唔得！冷靜啲呀謝子匡！

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講到底Miss都係想方便管理4A班之嘛！擒賊先擒王，將我收服就等於收服晒成個A班！

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唔好中佢計——總之！星期一開始，我做返衰仔，所有嘢就一定會回復正常！

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今次連個天都幫我。星期一，老母一早起身返工，一切又回到唔理我嘅時候。咁大好嘅機會梗係順理成章走堂再返兼職啦。

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當我聽住Miss嘅追魂call時，我知道所有嘢都回復緊

正常⋯⋯掛？係囉，點解我會覺得唔自在嘅？我驚會比Miss罰？唔係呀？咁到底係咩原因呢？

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呢次我又冇返學三日，最後Miss又麻煩我老母篤我返學。一大清早，Miss已經喺學校門口等緊我同我阿媽。

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「子匡媽咪，我係班主任Miss Wong呀。你而家有冇時間傾兩句？」

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「哎吔老師！唔好意思，我要趕時間呀！」

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「阿匡問題好嚴重，同埋佢校服方面⋯⋯」

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「老師對唔住！我遲到啦！下次呀，下次再傾。」

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「咁⋯⋯我再約你啦。」

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老母走咗之後，Miss望住我，我只能露出無奈嘅表情。

Miss隱隱咁嘆一口氣，我見到佢好似想講一啲關心嘅說話，但佢好快變返嚴肅同冷淡表情，對住我講：「上星期你話過唔再逃學架喎！」

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換係以前我一定會駁佢嘴，但而家對住佢，我竟然惡唔起？而且而家內心嗰種感覺同我決定再逃學嗰一刻係一模一樣架！特別我見到Miss呢刻好嬲卻又忍住唔鬧我嘅樣，內心嘅感覺就更強烈！

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呢份感覺到底係⋯⋯

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「跟我嚟。」

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「你想帶我去見周Sir呀？」

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Miss行咗兩步，就回頭啤咗我一眼，佢冇講啲咩就繼續帶我行。我都知架啦，冇返學三日咁大件事，佢十成九搵周Sir嚟招呼我啦。點知⋯⋯

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「呢度係呢三日嘅功課！」Miss將中文功課推喺我面前。

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最終Miss帶我去到教員室外面，我坐咗喺專係罰同學補做功課嘅位度。呢一刻我呆咗，點解佢⋯⋯

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「今日開始，小息、Lunch同放學，都要補做晒啲功課！你做晒所有功課後，我再同你計逃學呢條數！」然後佢眼尾都唔望我就走咗，我佢真係好嬲。嗰種嬲就好似因為係被人呃咗咁。總覺得我今次觸碰到Miss內心嘅事？

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點解Miss唔係搵周Sir罰我嘅？逃學咁大件事，走唔甩架喎！小過呢？大過呢？我懷住呢啲疑問揭緊啲功課，最後發現有份筆記攝咗喺最底，又係Miss親手寫比我嘅課文精讀。

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佢唔係鬧我先、唔係罰我先，而係要我做功課先⋯⋯點解嘅？Miss對我嘅好，唔係只係為咗方便佢管理課室咩？

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我以為我逃學，所有嘢都會正常晒。但原來唔係！或者我要再做盡啲！要再衰啲先得！

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「brother!」

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三枝維他奶互碰，但歡樂嘅氣氛因為我冇撞杯而冷卻落嚟。

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「匡哥！」杰少好驚訝我竟然冇做呢個指定動作。

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「係！bro⋯⋯brother!」我吃驚一下，舉樽補做返。

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「搞咩呀匡哥，神不守舍咁喎。」肥波

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「冇⋯⋯冇事。」我吉咗粒魚蛋食，瞄咗阿偉一眼。見佢對我露出一個意味深長嘅微笑，我皺眉問佢：「咩呀？」

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「你近排冇錢呀？」阿偉問咗句令我不解嘅問題。

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「唔係呀。」

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「哦！」佢陰陰嘴笑，飲咗啖維他奶又講：「原來因為女。」

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「你講咩呀？」我。

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「男人唔係煩錢就煩女人架啦！」阿偉瞇起眼笑，好似成隻狐狸咁。呢條友仔好似睇穿咗我啲嘢咁⋯⋯頂呀！領咗佢嘢！

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「喂！匡哥你鍾意人咩？」杰少。

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「吓？係隔離女校？！」阿波個樣好真心。

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突然之間要面對三個人嘅突襲，嚇到我反應唔嚟！

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「乜撚嘢呀屌！冇呀！」

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「我知啦⋯⋯」阿偉笑瞇瞇咁托頭，佢話：「Miss Wong呀嘛！」

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「吓？！」阿波嘛到就嚟暈低。

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「你鍾意Miss Wong呀？！」杰少一面恥笑：「4A班大佬喎？哈⋯⋯哈⋯⋯」

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阿偉！大佬！放過我呀！！

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「喂⋯⋯唔好亂講啦⋯⋯邊⋯⋯邊有⋯⋯！」我嚇到支吾以對！咁梗係啦，無啦啦比人睇穿我心諗緊咩⋯⋯咪住先！痴線架！我諗緊咩架？我冇呀！我冇鍾意Miss Wong!！

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阿偉好似好開心見到我而家呢個食咗屎嘅樣，笑咗幾聲後又講：「你兩個諗咗去邊呀？匡哥被Miss Wong追殺緊啲功課嘛！」阿偉望住我，好似將粒波交比我。

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「係⋯⋯係囉！我又冇返學，又唔交功課。梗係驚佢啦！」我連忙食多粒燒賣，想成個人自然啲：「咁⋯⋯Miss罰我冇小息嘛。而家我偷走出嚟要一眼關七𥄫佢喺咪度架！」

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阿偉繼續笑嘻嘻。

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「啊！咁又係呀！匡哥聽Miss話先唔正常喎！」阿波嘅真心終於有用啦！

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「咪臭係！」我。

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氣氛好快緩和起嚟，我鬆一口氣。不過⋯⋯其實我驚乜呀？

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呢個時候杰少又話：「講開Miss Wong, 細佬我最近收到啲風喎！」佢又露出招牌惡作劇奸笑。

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阿偉同阿波挨近少少，杰少扮下四圍望，再鬼鬼祟祟咁講：「Miss Wong同周Sir有嘢就係人都知啦。」

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「係呀係呀！」阿波點頭，講得好大聲。

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「妖！」阿偉兜嘢拍落阿波個頭。

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「除咗周Sir，都傳緊其他阿Sir同Miss有嘢，呢個大家都知啦。最近Miss Wong之所以上位上得咁快⋯⋯」

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聽杰少講，喺我冇返學時，學校出現咗啲人事變動。Miss Wong而家做緊一啲容易搏到表現嘅位。除咗跟SEN外，仲做埋低年級訓導老師。同時佢又係課外活動老師，要幫手跟下中文辯論隊。如果Miss Wong訓練到中辯隊拎到獎，真係一個搏到表現嘅機會。

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「睇電視都有講啦，女人要上位好簡單之嘛。就係同上司上⋯⋯」

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杰少同阿偉好有默契咁想用唇形「讀」出某一隻字。但係阿波就——

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「床！」

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仲要好撚大聲！

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「頂你個死肥仔！」「真嘅嘢唔好咁大聲呀！」阿偉同杰少對阿波粒Lin頭展開猛烈攻擊！

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呢個時候，我眉頭皺一皺，手腳開始漸漸凍起嚟。我見住佢地傾得好興奮，而我唔知點解融入唔到佢地，好想快啲走！

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「唔止阿Sir飲晒迷湯添啦。」杰少繼續講：「學生都比佢迷晒啦！」

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「我呀我呀係我呀！」阿波又突個頭出嚟。

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「收嗲啦！」阿偉兜頭拍阿波。

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「嗱老實講，Miss係嚴啲，但算好錫我地班嘅。我地班個個都鍾意佢。但係有一個人對Miss嘅感覺就同我地完全唔同嘅！」杰少。

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我聽完之後，我感覺到面部肌肉有啲唔自然，心諗⋯⋯佢唔係講緊我下話？⋯⋯喂！我又亂諗嘢？

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「就係中七嗰個Matthew 師兄啦！」佢地即時起哄。

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「我都收到啲風喎！呢排佢地成日一齊走呀！」阿偉。

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「唔只啦，呢排差唔多留完堂，Matthew師兄都會嚟我地班嘅！然後佢地兩個喺課室做啲咩就冇人知啦。」杰少陰陰嘴笑：「練Oral喎？知唔知Oral咩意思呀？」杰少做咗個口交嘅動作。

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「喂！」我叫得好大聲：「人地真係正經練中文Oral架。咪亂傳啦！Miss Wong都係後生啲同靚啲之嘛！唔代表佢係仔都姣架嘛！你班仆街識唔識尊重架？！」

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鬧完之後佢地三個呆咗咁望住我。連我自己都好驚訝我竟然會講呢啲！好煩！好亂！我要靜一靜先！

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呢個時候——

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「班長！」Miss Wong喺遠處叫緊我。

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「哇！殺到埋嚟添！」

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我急急腳咁走，時間真係夾得好。借避開Miss嚟離開呢個令我心煩嘅環境。

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。

= = = =

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嚓——！

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火機打出點點耀眼火花，然後匯聚成一撮火苗。火苗緩緩咁將香煙燃點。

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一吸一呼，我凝望住飄喺空中嘅煙圈，觀察佢虛實不定嘅動態，心神終於定返少少。好彩平時幫啲手足收埋咗啲煙喺呢個廁所度。如果唔係都唔知點算。

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我究竟咩事呀？衰仔又做唔成，內心嗰份「感覺」仲愈嚟愈強烈添！聽到關於Miss Wong嘅「謠言」更令我難受到不得了！我好驚真實嘅Miss Wong同我想像中嘅佢係有落差！

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佢讚我孝順、佢關心我、佢比紙巾我抹眼淚、佢幫我包紮傷口⋯⋯仲有佢寫比我嘅筆記，呢一切一切美好嘅畫面都因為愈了解佢而逐一破滅。

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我好辛苦呀。我好似阻止唔到某啲事情發生，完全係被動捱打狀態。點解會咁架？難道我真係⋯⋯

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真係鍾意咗Miss Wong?

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= = = =

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愈係逃避，愈係記掛住。

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即使往後幾日我返一日又走一日。即使返咗學校都好，都會同Miss Wong玩下「捉迷藏」，即使我繼續做衰仔特登頂撞佢、所有功課唔交、唔守承諾⋯⋯我都係逃避唔到內心嘅感覺。

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更矛盾嘅係，喺後期我唔再想逃學。因為我冇得見Miss Wong嘅日子，我反而更難受。另一方面，一返到學校又聽到杰少收返嚟關於Miss Wong 嘅風，我就覺得好「銀」耳。

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呢排Miss Wong同Matthew 師兄日日一齊放學走⋯⋯

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有人見到Matthew師兄同Miss喺課室疑似互flirt⋯⋯

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數學陳Sir送花比Miss Wong⋯⋯

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傻佬黎Sir成日借啲意喺學校同Miss Wong傾計⋯⋯

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有師兄喺酒吧撞到疑似Miss Wong嘅女人攬仔⋯⋯

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近日Miss Wong同周Sir貌合神離，好似分咗手⋯⋯

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呢一步係點行都死嘅死棋。唔返學就掛住人，返咗學就承受呢啲壓力。

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我唔在乎Miss Wong的話，我係唔會怕上面啲謠言。亦都唔會令我呢刻又匿喺廁所煲煙。

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喺呢個時候⋯⋯

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「你見點呀！Matthew!」

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一把好緊張嘅聲音由遠到近咁傳嚟，然後我聽到出面啲聲有啲混亂。過咗一陣，我聽到一把忍喊忍得好辛苦嘅聲咁樣講：「我冇事⋯⋯我冇事⋯⋯我冇事⋯⋯」

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呢把聲係Matthew師兄？

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「你好唔掂喎！不如早退啦！」

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「唔得⋯⋯答應咗Miss Wong要考好A Level。我要返學⋯⋯返學⋯⋯」

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然後我聽到水聲，似乎Matthew師兄洗緊面冷靜緊。

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「嗰個咁嘅仆街周Sir正一冚家產嚟！Matthew你咁辛苦先醫返好焦慮症，個仆街周就一句說話搞到你咁！」

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「係囉！唔洗驚個仆街周Sir架！我地撐你！」

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「邊個係仆街周Sir呀？」

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突然間，成個氣氛變晒。呢把聲聽落冷靜，但好似雷聲咁帶住閃電劈落嚟！死啦，係周Sir入咗嚟呀！

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出面啲人靜晒，只係聽Matthew師兄好急嘅呼吸聲。

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「上緊堂架喎！你地夠膽公然曠課？」

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我聽到啲沈重腳步聲，周Sir來回踱步緊，然後就話：「Matthew, 係咪你帶佢地出嚟？」

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「你咪屈喎！」

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「你收聲！！」周Sir:「Matthew, 你認晒佢嘅話，我唔會罰佢地。」

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「Matthew唔好呀！有事我地一齊頂！」

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「係⋯⋯係我⋯⋯」

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「周Sir! 我見Matthew情緒唔好先出嚟睇佢咋！」

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「佢有焦慮症架！我幫同學都唔得呀！」

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周Sir沈默，似乎揚起佢嗰個令人討厭嘅笑容。然後佢話：「咦？你地三個頭先食煙呀？」

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呢鑊⋯⋯大件事啦！

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我拿拿聲掉枝煙落馬桶，但同一時間，周Sir已經兜腳踢開我度門，我一面慌惶咁望住周Sir。

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周Sir望住我手上包煙，再望一望出面，眉頭一皺，細心盤算——

「嘿——！」佢露出奸猾嘅笑容。

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= = = =

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訓導室1號，所謂嘅「臭格1號」。喺我面前嘅係周Sir倒比我嘅熱茶，我凝視住盤旋上升中嘅蒸氣，好擔心之後發生嘅事。

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良久，周Sir喺「臭格2號」返嚟，當度門開咗嗰一下，我聽到一把好慘嘅飲泣聲。唔洗估都知，呢把聲係Matthew師兄。搞咩呀？Matthew師兄係出名品學兼優，點會無端端比周Sir罰架？

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咪住先。我聽聞周Sir同Miss Wong 分咗手，而剛好Matthew 師兄又同Miss Wong傳緊⋯⋯吓？！唔通周Sir想公報私仇？！

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周Sir坐我對面，將喺廁所搜到嘅違禁品逐一攤喺我面前。除咗幾包煙同火機外，仲有幾隻四仔。呢啲都係我收錢幫我嗰級同學收埋喺廁所嘅違禁品。

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周Sir好親切咁笑，但好令我作嘔。

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「謝子匡，你知唔知已經開咗學幾多個星期？」

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我唔出聲，佢冷冷一笑就話：「唔知好正常，你足足冇返學十日咁多。」佢深吸一口氣，樣子洋洋得意：「你逃學、遲到、校服儀容唔合格。而家仲要曠課加匿喺廁所煲煙。你知唔知我可以罰你啲咩？」

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「記⋯⋯記大過掛⋯⋯」

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「係即刻踢你走呀！！」周Sir拍枱大叫，成隻衝出嚟咬人嘅癲狗！

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我被佢嚇一嚇，唔敢出聲。

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「你想唔想繼續喺度讀書呀？」

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我唔知點答，只係冇意義咁點頭。

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「咁得啦。只要你肯同我合作就得。頭先有冇見到Matthew 煲煙？」

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「吓？！」

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「呢度啲違禁品，係咪Matthew收埋架？」

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「唔⋯⋯唔⋯⋯係⋯⋯」

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「喂！你小心啲答呀！你認左我就即刻踢你走架！」

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言下之意，周Sir想我屈Matthew 啦！我明白喇！Matthew係學校入U希望，基本上保佢都嚟唔切啦！如果唔係點會比佢休學兩年嚟養病呢？！除非係嚴重違規，要有一個合理嘅理由先罰到佢呀！死啦！我可以點做呀？我本來想做返衰仔逃避Miss Wong唧！冇諗過會玩到咁架喎！認又唔係，屈人又唔係！可以點做呀？！

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周Sir微笑一笑，擺明想置身事外。我一屈Matthew, 而周sir只係按校規做嘢，但殺人兇手呢個罪名就落喺我身上！

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周啟泰！你真係好撚賤呀！！

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「唔洗驚。你只要喺我面前篤佢灰就得。」周Sir翹起手，講：「你肯同我合作，你逃學嘅事，我會從輕發落。」

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周Sir大權在手，使佢呢刻自大狂莽起嚟。我猶豫好耐，周Sir都唔耐煩，只見佢離開左「臭格1號」後無耐就帶Matthew師兄返嚟。

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「企好！」周sir命令佢企喺牆角。

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然後周Sir就同我講：「謝子匡，唔洗驚。佢已經被我警告咗。」

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我望去Matthew師兄度，同之前嗰位全身散發住明日之星氣質嘅佢好唔同！而家嘅佢好似跌咗落泥坑咁，灰頭土臉。一個咁高大嘅男仔比周Sir迫到抽泣，驚恐嘅神色完全表現喺面上！周Sir嘅手段真係好令我心寒！

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「阿匡！我一定會保你，佢唔會尋你仇嘅。你只要坦白講你頭先喺廁所見到嘅事就得。」

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但係唔聽你指示，你會搞鳩我呀嘛！

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我望住Matthew師兄，佢好無辜咁望返我⋯⋯我真係做唔出呢啲事啊！

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喺我心煩意亂之際，又有人走咗入嚟「臭格1號」。呢個人就係Miss Wong。

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Miss Wong望到Matthew 都在場時，佢表情有一瞬間係嚇咗一跳。似乎佢只係知道我因為食煙而比周Sir捉，冇諗過Matthew師兄都會喺度。

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「Miss Wong，你嚟咗嘅？」

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「嗯。」Miss Wong坐埋嚟，喺我旁邊，戰戰兢兢咁講：「我知道咗謝子匡嚴重違規，身為佢班主任我要知道發生咩事。」

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「頭先巡樓時，有陣煙味喺廁所傳出嚟。咁啱佢兩個喺度，所以捉佢地落嚟查下到底係邊個食煙囉。」周sir故作寬容咁講。

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Miss Wong神色閃過一下慌張，佢眼神厲咗我一下，明顯佢唔相信Matthew師兄食煙。

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周Sir同Miss Wong似係拍緊拖但懷疑散咗、Matthew師兄同Miss Wong又傳緊有啲嘢，我就對Miss Wong⋯⋯痴線！總之而家呢個空間、呢個畫面啲人物關係係鬼咁死亂呀！

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「咁Miss Wong嚟度就啱晒。一齊聽啦！」周Sir指一指枱上面嘅違禁品，就話：「頭先我喺男廁搜到呢啲嘢出嚟。除咗食煙，仲私藏違禁品。我懷疑係屬於佢地其中一個。我希望兩位同學可以誠實啲。如果你地合作嘅，我會考慮下罰輕手啲。」

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周Sir要Miss Wong留低睇佢點對Matthew行刑呀！

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Miss Wong保持冷靜講：「係嘅。做錯事一定要認。唔可以講大話！」Miss Wong慢慢向我望嚟，言下之意警告我唔可以屈Matthew師兄！

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「Miss Wong講得好啱。呢個係嚴重違規，講大話唔認，罪加一等！隨時會踢出校架！」周Sir望住我，對我製造無形嘅威脅！

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現場靜到得返啲冷氣機聲。周Sir同Miss Wong 雖然注意力喺我度，但我感受到佢地之間正在產生緊無形嘅角力。喺劍拔弩張之時，飲泣嘅聲音愈來愈大，Matthew 師兄一面焦慮慌張，喉嚨死忍住唔喊出聲，谷到成個人都紅晒塊面。

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我點可以咁樣屈人架？但係我唔合作，我隨時冇書讀喎！

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所以我⋯⋯

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「係我！」

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咁人渣嘅事情我真係做唔出！

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「係我食煙，唔關Matthew 事！」

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周Sir一面冷靜，慢慢收起笑容，卻漸露慍色。

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「我當時匿喺廁格食煙。Matthew喺出面洗緊面，佢冇食煙呀！絕對唔關佢事！要罰就罰我啦！」

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周Sir本來成個大爺咁翹腳，之後佢放返隻腳落嚟後，佢把聲冷靜得令我心寒：「好。誠實就最好啦。」

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我驚到唔敢望周sir, 只係望住Miss Wong。

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「班長，你肯勇於認錯。你做得好好。」Miss Wong 冇望住我，佢仍然凝視住周Sir。只見佢表情好似夾雜咗好多情緒喺入面，有傷心、有疑惑、有失望同憤怒。總覺得佢地好似將啲私人感情放喺呢件事上。

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「Matthew返課室先。班長喺教員室出面等我。」

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我照Miss Wong說話去做。只見Matthew眼神恍惚，背影好沉重。實在想像唔到周Sir對佢做咗啲咩折磨。

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我企教員室外面，好想知道Miss Wong同周Sir究竟傾緊啲咩。但可以肯定嘅係，我連日嚟不斷嘅違規，已經對Miss Wong做成好大壓力。

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過咗一陣，Miss Wong氣沖沖咁喺教員室出返嚟。佢第一時間唔係理我，而係行咗去欄杆前托住個頭。雖然只係望到佢背影，但我感受到佢好累，好唔開心。我認識佢日子唔長，但佢比我嘅感覺係一位好有自信、好堅強嘅老師。然而，我係從來未見過佢而家咁失落嘅樣。

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到底佢同周Sir傾咗啲咩？佢地嘅私事？關於Matthew師兄定係關於我呢？

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「Miss⋯⋯」我忍不住呢種寂靜，首先開聲：「周Sir係咪想踢走我？」

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Miss Wong聽到後企返直個人，雙肩起伏顯然係深吸咗一口氣。接著佢擰轉身，只見佢瞪出一雙怒目，就狠狠咁問我：「謝子匡！我係咪對你好差呀？！」

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「其實你係咪好憎我呀？！」Miss Wong向我踏前一步，好似拎住枝矛咁吉埋嚟

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我擰頭，唔敢答佢。

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「我每一日都救緊你架！你知唔知呀？！」Miss Wong 大聲咁鬧我：「你逃學！你遲到！你唔交功課！你曠課！仲有你今日喺學校食煙呀！每一樣嘢我都係保緊你架！我唔想你因為被人記過而憎咗返學呀！」

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Miss Wong好大聲咁喝罵我，成條走廊嘅人都望過嚟。

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「你係咪覺得我好多管閒事？煩到你媽咪？唔比你做兼職？仲要迫你返學？所以你好憎我啦！係咪呀？！」

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我依然唔敢出聲，或者旁邊啲老師同學生都會覺得奇怪，我呢個壞學生竟然冇同Miss Wong 開大片。其實佢地唔明白，望住呢刻已經嬲到臨界點嘅Miss Wong，我個心好難過⋯⋯剎那間我終於明白啲嘢。

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「以後，你想逃學就逃學。我由得其他老師罰你。」

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我終於明白自己點解做唔返衰仔⋯⋯

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「如果你連續逃學七日，我即刻報教育局冇得傾。你媽咪唔理你，我就交比社工跟。功課唔交，由得科任老師罰你。你唔守諾言，我都冇必要再幫你。」

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除咗我好怕見到Miss Wong對我失望嘅樣外⋯⋯

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「你想點就點啦。你鍾意今日搞埋退學都得。總之——」

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我更怕嘅係⋯⋯

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「總之，我以後都唔會再理你。」

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我更怕嘅就係呢樣嘢。

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Miss Wong轉身就走，喺佢別過頭去嗰一刻，依稀，我見到眼角泛起淚光。

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我望住佢嘅背影，雖然同平時一樣，但我感覺到一種由心發出嚟嘅疲累。

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霎時之間，我心痛到裂開。我冇理會過Miss Wong真係一直都幫我、救我。天啊，點解偏偏呢個時候先令我記得Miss Wong曾經講過嘅說話——

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「你係我學生，我點都會教好你先！」

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Miss Wong唔係為咗自己工作便利，連日嚟所做嘅一切，都源於佢呢句承諾！

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我好慚愧，係前所未有咁慚愧！我只係諗自己，天真咁覺得做返衰仔就可以返去以前咁！

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我真係一個白痴！衰仔做唔成，反而更清楚自己發生緊咩事！

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係呀，我冇得再逃避！

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我真係鍾意咗自己班主任，Miss Wong。

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「Miss Wong！」

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我追返上去，有句說話我一定要同Miss Wong講！

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Miss Wong聽到我叫佢後就停低咗，遲疑左一陣，然後做咗一個疑似抹眼淚嘅動作。佢抖咗一口大氣，先慢慢向我轉身過嚟。

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Miss Wong兩眼泛緊淚光，表情又嬲又傷心。佢好努力令自己唔好流淚，擺一款喺教室入面嘅嚴肅表情。

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我踏前一步，鼓起勇氣：「Miss Wong !」

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「對唔住！」

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「我知錯啦！Miss Wong對唔住呀！」

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我鞠躬再鞠躬。

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抬頭，Miss Wong仍然好似女王咁好冷漠。

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「我今日想留堂呀！」

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Miss Wong望住我唔出聲，我見到佢而家呢個樣內心慚愧到爆，搞到我唔敢再直視。

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然後Miss Wong咩都冇講，又冇點頭又盛，就轉返身緩步離開。

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老師同學生喺走廊上往來，只有我一個人呆呆咁企喺度。就好似一幅彩色嘅畫，惟一深灰色嘅存在。

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