29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWs0JF3EFj8
Othello takes a step closer and I press my hands to my head kneeling on the ground trying to stop the rushing thoughts, the feeling of such severe anxiety closing up my throat. I can’t breathe, I can't breathe. I feel sick remembering how I opened up to him, how much I wanted him to like me, love me even. And yet it all keeps blowing up in my face. Black spots dance in front of my eyes. He reaches for me but my door busts open.
“Touch her and I’ll fucking kill you!” Someone shouts but I can’t see anymore. Hyperventilating, dizzy, I can’t scream. Can’t think. I can’t stop shaking. Why’d he do that? Why'd he do that? The sound of someone hitting the floor echoes throughout the room as I find Othello sprawled on the floor Arwen's rage twisted face slamming his fist into his cheek.
I hear more people rush in, the blur of Nash’s black hair.
“Arwen, that’s enough,” Bash says prying him off a bloody Othello baring his teeth.
“Yeah go back to being a little lovesick puppy.” He gave Arwen a dirty look and shoved his way out of my apartment. Blood stains my little pink rug. I still hear the echo of screams and someone kneels in front of me.
“Billie? Hey, look at me please honey.” Arwen says blood dribbling from his knuckles and nose. My chest still heaves with uneven breaths as I glance at him. His doe brown eyes narrow with anger and concern.
“I…want to leave,” I whisper, still feeling silent tears slip down my cheeks. Arwen nods, and coax’s me up half carrying half leading me to his apartment with the rest of the boys. I can only imagine who else heard this breakdown. At this point, I don’t care. Not about anything.
I don’t feel it as Arwen brings me to his bed, messy and smells like cigarette smoke and cheap detergent.
“I’ll let you rest, I need to go clean up.” He tries to smile for my benefit as he motions to his bloody nose but it’s strained. I still can’t wrap my mind around what happened, I thought Othello was my friend. Was he just gaslighting me the whole time? What happens if he tries to apologize later? Will I forgive him? No. No, I couldn’t. Not after everything he said and put me through. I can’t. My stomach churns with nausea as I remember the good times we had, the night cat ride after the show at my mom's restaurant when he took care of me when I was sick.
No wonder your brother tried to commit. That was a low blow even for him. I can’t forgive him for that. But doesn’t everyone deserve a second chance? Well more like the 5th. I can’t believe I almost fell for it again just today, it was probably just the close proximity.
“Hey Billie love, you’ve been staring off into space for a solid two minutes.” I blink and glance up at him, his brows pulled together in concern. He reaches out a hand and with my anxiety at this heightened level I flinch and he freezes, pulling his hand back. A flash of anger, not at me, but at Othello shining in his big brown eyes.
“He won’t hurt you again Billie, I’ll make sure of it.” For some reason, I wouldn’t have thought of Arwen as the protective type, yet the way he screamed, “touch her again and I’ll fucking kill you.” Makes me think otherwise. It brings some warmth back into my shivering body. Knowing that Arwen is here with me. In fact, if this never happened I’d rather it be Arwen instead of anyone.
“I know,” I whisper and he gives me a small reassuring smile and goes to leave. It feels too cold without him and I know when he leaves all the terrible thoughts are going to sneak back into my head. And for once I want everything to stop and to just sleep.
“Arwen.” I croak, my voice sore and he glances at me, looming well over me. I swallow trying not to act so needy but I’m just too tired.
“Stay with me please.” A soft smile forms on his pierced lips and he nods.
“Of course, I will, always.” He goes to come closer but hesitates as he looks at the dried blood on his hands.
“Let me go wash up, it’ll take just a second.” I nod, kicking off my shoes and tugging the blankets up over me. Noticing some crumbs of food tumble to the floor. Of course. I notice the Pokémon sheets and I smile slightly. This is all very trademark Arwen.
“Admiring my sheets? Limited edition.” Arwen chuckles, startling me.
“I’m jealous, these are nice sheets.” I smile back at him and I swear he almost sighs in relief.
“Well, you’re welcome in them anytime.” He smirks at me and my face burns. His eyes widen as he realizes how that sounded but that only makes his grin widen. I roll my eyes, feeling better now that he’s here even though there’s this looming darkness just waiting to pounce the moment I let down my guard.
Arwen chucks off his combat boots and takes at least 5 minutes to take off his various jewelry and chains. I just watch him, as he awkwardly shrugs off his battle vest and without hesitation yanks off his pants and pulls on his PJs. No shame I suppose. Arwen rambles about something I’m not quite sure but I just like hearing him talk.
“Do you want to watch something?”Arwen asks motioning to the tv with a pair of boxers thrown over it. His cheeks flair with embarrassment as he tosses them off muttering something to himself.
“Sorry I didn’t think anyone would be in here.” I roll my eyes.
“It’s not like I haven’t been here long enough to know your cleanliness habits.” Arwen chuckles and nods.
“Ah fair.” He climbs into bed and flicks on the tv. His warmth radiates even from the almost foot between us.
“What do ya wanna watch?” I shrug, not really knowing or caring.
“Hmm, oh obviously Shrek.” Arwen looks at me, brows raised and a crooked grin on his silver-pierced lips. I just nod, chuckling and he clicks on it. As soon as the soundtrack starts I feel myself start to yawn.
“You made it 5 seconds in, a new record.” He nudges me, and I snort scooting closer to him.
“Shut up.” My words are muffled by the assortment of blankets thrown on top of us. My brows furrow as I find the bright pink blanket I got him one Christmas.
“Did you really keep this?” Arwen blushes and rubs the back of his neck.
“Of course, you got it for me.” My heart flutters in my chest and I can't stop them from soaring. Slowly as if giving me the option to move away Arwen rests his head next to mine, our breaths mingling and his fingers intertwined with mine. He’s beautiful in a strange and odd way.
“You're staring,” Arwen smirks, and I crinkle my nose but don’t bother looking away.
“I’m memorizing your face.” He laughs and shakes his head, his long hair tickling my face.
“Well, I’ll always be here for you to stare at like a creep.” I grin at him as we lay there holding hands staring at each other covered in Pokémon sheets with Shrek playing in the background.
I know Arwen will catch me if I fall.
29Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhIwTVLmEMT
and then Add to home screen.