[bgm music to read to]
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPlQdFeVkZq
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx0SH9q19oK
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpNu069GWsu
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4eSSDk3gak
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvi7vDMpIE
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLFTDLUjPVX
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe0BdFtHySq
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9ME3Z5mz1N
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPs8pok7vs
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkOI9Ms5GJ9
But...605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFkVNMS7HVn
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJVcpBqEBt
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglsbl17xnZ
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk7Fx7dYGtq
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD1Sf9NgGbU
Is absolutely not pathetic.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡax4hWsqsPo
You're not garbage."605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82iVfcdaSZ
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCMPx9C8WMt
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5EGXexTN9H
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡizoi0HNolP
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDzyirRoRR8
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVcxHTITfjl
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5jVY2DXhr
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQDbWPvz0pV
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUn5FpiUzc
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6ySpqUqC7r
Your son doesn't want to get married.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD7iliijXnc
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGiYKSBr2hj
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXLHTvME7ph
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxZ9oY0ipM
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ35B0k3bWtX
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpbxhzLYDWq
I'm scared of failing, so.
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCeIZBTheJr
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyXrARo0BXh
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6sXYZsrdPN
Sincerely,605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjybmg76Ng6
Your son Charlie.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0JwL7dJJQ
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2jARas54My
P.S. Screw you sis /j.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAorEDmW2tM
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgEWBCDIWyi
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5nQIaexN8I
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRKSldtwP17
605Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1uxEYJ6qS
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
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