[bgm music to read to]
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8o0PawHLsn
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdkvztw4sCH
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTlbqiBKJBl
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwQ3aE4NxtF
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpN2blpAYI3
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrQZ66EbZx
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPV8AWlybLg
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFIZtoXBpQ
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0n4AhI9MMT
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But...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJlDWgHnuW
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrm9a3uq3cp
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKN1PnUgWMJ
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCyRnVrKPEf
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ675TbMOcPy
Is absolutely not pathetic.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQfBybqbAhJ
You're not garbage."1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYgKw8cJqQa
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc24z3oLbTD
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzLTuvuu1hP
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHclJsyjUTA
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I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEJqvn4PbzI
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Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfmk3RN1nIW
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6q5M5on4Jh
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8yvuvkBbl
Your son doesn't want to get married.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8WZqVKtoGx
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpWaG9OePp9
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGOxHzbqzzu
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJWHd2G01G
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSJalyVJyL
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzSi72YRc2D
I'm scared of failing, so.
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But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpALHfXYLnc
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWKo9mUf96M
Sincerely,1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1FlPV3sjBh
Your son Charlie.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0AhHIzbPom
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBmXg9ufGf
P.S. Screw you sis /j.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkluESXdNi8
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[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2taWea0kWz
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGqftpflafq
1173Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcOEgvFzk9
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
and then Add to home screen.