[bgm music to read to]
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAOuy49ylt
"I don't remember myself being this pathetic before...568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkh7NCKyDhY
I have no motivation left to try, I don't have any patience left in me...568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVHavbGp1g
I feel like I'm becoming more and more useless each day.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXAf8CjIt20
And I know that i don't even try, but I get so anxious when I think about exams..."568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJubJc7NsEC
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNNNaG7BFD
"I'm scared of being left behind... forever."568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2pbETOFEN3
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2rVKwszrQ
"I'm scared that I might give up on myself."
Have I already given up on myself?
"It's rough, it's lonely... and I don't see a way out."
"Time waits for no one."
"I don't have the willpower to change, and I'm a master at justifying myself." 568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjB70dPkKaB
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtGVtDQs5nD
But...568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlDssqInOoY
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7AzyMRadGo
"We all have our ups and downs. We're human. It's incredibly hard to be consistent, since we're not machines (ISTJs go brrrr though). As long as we think, we'll keep on making excuses for ourselves... and that's normal. Everyone does it. 568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQMJsvOTn7
At the end of the day, you're worrying and thinking about your own future. 568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9K8UI7mE4l
A person who thinks about changes, and is willing to change...568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIcvvXVJ1J6
Is absolutely not pathetic.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDosb9NohWg
You're not garbage."568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvlsob4iGd
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYU267oUjK0
"Being strong enough to get up and fight every day is a special talent. You never know, there might be someone very close to you doing it... just for you."
I know I don't work very hard, but I hate being told that more than almost everything. I hate it when my parents remind me that I've done nothing. I hate it when they tell me to do work. Stupid, isn't it?
I once told my parents that I would continue to feel inferior, worthless and unsuccessful if I don't make a decent salary in a few years. You know what they said?568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUw93665PFh
"It's okay. You don't need to make money. You can live under our our roof forever."568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP9YDdIY1ch
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbkbNFJBozV
I don't want that though. Despite everything, I want to live by my own efforts. I'm a mess, yet I don't want anyone's help. I mean, I can ask for help when I need it, but...568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFQ5xd5H09
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjCxgJI9KxA
Sorry, mum. Nothing's working out for you huh?568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWtbxJlAs7D
You wasted all your money on all the sports, instruments, tutoring lessons on your son. 568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDblTOaEep3
Your son didn’t meet all your expectations.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIySPRTUVpz
Your son doesn't want to get married.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEeHCRq3u5h
Your son might just end up a broke loser on the street.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzmotBqT3Bx
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4p6mVnAR9f
You know, you paid thousands of dollars for my overnight contact lenses, only for me to be too lazy to wear it.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA60tNDIks0
You paid another thousand for me to do that Duke of Edinburgh challenge, though I never submitted my report and ended up never getting the certification. I still never told you... to this day.
Sorry, dad. 568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31dMfs3AhW
I know I said I'd pay you back for everything you've given to me, but I don't know if I can.
I might just be the worthless child you tried so hard to prevent me being.
Hahaha.
I'm sorry, I'm just a coward, so I just want to run away. Take the easy way out.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgFaKC9qmk
I'm scared of failing, so.
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt82z9eHLIS
But today, too, I'm still alive. So even though I've accomplished nothing, even when it looks like there's no escape, I'll keep going. I have to keep going. I'll finish my degree. If I get a full-time job, so be it. If I don't, then that's fine. I might regret it. But at the end of the day, I'm alive. No matter how afraid I am for tomorrow, I'll have to face it. The main thing keeping me unhappy... is me.
Thanks for loving me. I'm sorry I can't love you back as of now, or maybe for a long time to come. But maybe one day, I will.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIRZOTh4mD
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJCQzFleHIz
Sincerely,568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqlRDbVGs1i
Your son Charlie.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvBxtVgQ0o
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbP9O4OSbT
P.S. Screw you sis /j.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMRYoMS54V
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvVZEjnu7Aw
[I remembered the existence of this song midway through writing this]568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBt0jGfb0UT
... And on a whim, I sent a voice message containing all of this to my parents (it's 3am right now, but my parents are on vacation elsewhere). Saying it out loud is really something, huh.568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf5FqmXsOfU
568Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzwSn18jyrk
My mother just sent me back a hug emoji and "goodnight" as it was the last word of my voice message as well. Not going to lie, I think that's the best thing she's ever said or texted. I wonder if she'll write a long paragraph or send a long voice message back later.
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