安德烈沒有回教會的打算,或者該說,他沒有去任何地方的想法,只是漫無目的的到處遊走。334Please respect copyright.PENANARYxjKERpu9
334Please respect copyright.PENANAvyWBN61ZiS
我不緊不慢的跟在他身後。334Please respect copyright.PENANAKPV2C9MV7l
334Please respect copyright.PENANAXBsKrZgGRQ
走過鬧市,走過馬路,穿越人群,最後,他在公園長椅上坐下,一臉頹然,「你一直都知道?」334Please respect copyright.PENANANkVg4KVEFJ
334Please respect copyright.PENANAHWiDb3ElJt
我沒有問他指的是什麼,只是站在他身後,「嗯。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAjj0NPTkTls
334Please respect copyright.PENANA0feAEjnoFY
不管是他父母間的關係,還是亞里德對他的想法,又或是狄恩的事。334Please respect copyright.PENANAXEtOSRBcpJ
334Please respect copyright.PENANAR1BlzCwKkg
安德烈聞言一怔,旋即發出低笑,笑得雙肩顫動,不可自遏,最後,他像是要扼死笑聲般,將臉埋進雙手,餘下近似嗚咽的聲音。334Please respect copyright.PENANAHpQKudvNww
334Please respect copyright.PENANASgHkajD4ij
我沒有試著安慰他,甚至連問他是否哭了的念頭也沒有,只是注視著前方。334Please respect copyright.PENANAozFs8rwGr3
334Please respect copyright.PENANAKMbUfejMqR
過了許久,終於停住笑聲的安德烈重新整理好情緒,將額頭靠在交叉的雙手上頭,帶著幾分無力與疲憊的開口,「伊安,告訴我,我錯了嗎?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAD8rpkkpInB
334Please respect copyright.PENANA2xqSm8MjW5
安德烈的詢問讓我忍不住看了他一眼。334Please respect copyright.PENANAWxzZeIUEKF
334Please respect copyright.PENANAQVywySeRQ2
他的容貌沒有半絲改變卻透著宛如年老人類的滄桑,多麼有趣,在他聽見我的笑聲,將目光挪向我時,我徐緩開口,「安德烈,你問了個非常有趣的問題。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAyvGRm3OBqS
334Please respect copyright.PENANAyvpjY7PjmO
「你口中的對錯,究竟是怎樣的東西,你思考過嗎?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAOzrROBdFuH
334Please respect copyright.PENANA0irxjMxROs
「或者,我該試著用其他方式問你。」我彎下腰,雙手搭在長椅椅背,看似親密的耳語,「你想聽我以什麼角度來回答你?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAf8Z1nLmrei
334Please respect copyright.PENANAoRhENrouRJ
「如果,你期望我像名人類,像個你所期望的人類,那麼,我會告訴你,安德烈,你沒有錯,你不過是想讓自己的弟弟過著更好的生活,當個善良的人,你唯一的失誤,便是你太晚發現,太晚阻止他的行為。」334Please respect copyright.PENANArtjQfwYnEb
334Please respect copyright.PENANATiDUqJG3vG
「你是真心為他好。」說到這,我微微一頓,「要是,你想聽我身為怪物的真心話……」334Please respect copyright.PENANAQl14v8YaTz
334Please respect copyright.PENANArS33In7WAK
「我得告訴你……」我將手繞自他面前,動作輕柔的拉開用來抵靠額頭的雙手,「安德烈,你所有的想法與自責,毫無意義可言。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAuZczx0HpkV
334Please respect copyright.PENANA4s6AvJf7YO
哪怕安德烈沒有作出任何回應,就連表情也不曾出現變化,我依然能從某些細微的生理變化知曉,他的內心並不如外在表現的那般平靜,饒是如此,我依然沒有就此打住,一如很多年前,我告訴過他的,他若要想要真實,我便給他真實。334Please respect copyright.PENANAPDmW0K0Xyz
334Please respect copyright.PENANAtAfecvHMeg
「對與錯,不過是你們人類用與區分、限制的名詞規範。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAAa5AXf5RKT
334Please respect copyright.PENANAe3Nh63Aj9V
「你們所認知的事實,甚至是定下的律法,總會隨著時代演進而改變,曾經的正確,眨眼成了謬論,固有的荒唐,成為真理,這樣的事層出不窮。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAJWr0PpjXjU
334Please respect copyright.PENANAISwK789eIB
「經歷漫長時光,不斷重複。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAw4b3C2liKw
334Please respect copyright.PENANAcg8hc1r0Dz
「與其說,你們追求真理,重視真相,不如說,你們人類一直以來,不過是在尋找能讓自己心裡好受的答案。」334Please respect copyright.PENANA5Nav0sUpOe
334Please respect copyright.PENANAxRUzR83r8e
「你們想要的,永遠比實際得到的要多出許多,最終,你們將自己困死其中的機率,遠比自我救贖高上許多,你們依然樂此不疲。」我在安德烈目光注視下站直身子,挪步繞過長椅,最後,在他身旁的空位坐下,「就像你,安德烈。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAkBRDvlJTUD
334Please respect copyright.PENANAkW9NTeWdge
「你既希望我說出符合你期待的話語,又冀望我坦白想法。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAnGXBiePiBu
334Please respect copyright.PENANARqiGb9B184
「如此矛盾,如此痛苦,如此糾結。」隨著我的話語,公園的氣氛開始有所改變,「但是,那又如何?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAWnVhY4lR4U
334Please respect copyright.PENANABZT3rKPjtI
「對我,對任何一名怪物來說,沒有任何意義。」334Please respect copyright.PENANA3kLanDUiAs
334Please respect copyright.PENANAoI77qpSlDb
「任憑我們表現的多像人類,也無法理解你們執著對錯的原因與心理,哪怕我們裝得和你們一樣,為了點小事將事情弄得一團糟,搞得生活和人際關係出現天翻地覆的轉變,我們依然無法理解,為什麼?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAxHcedAKril
334Please respect copyright.PENANAFoOnV6uUde
「我們無法互相理解。」334Please respect copyright.PENANArH08r0Q53G
334Please respect copyright.PENANAJtfEwMQlQs
「如同你所提出的疑問。」334Please respect copyright.PENANA18aaIqE3Gj
334Please respect copyright.PENANASOoivzCBCq
「怪物的世界,沒有對錯可言。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAql5alwZNoq
334Please respect copyright.PENANAqHgiHql4WV
「驅使我們行動的,向來只有想與不想,至於事情本身,以及其中行為,不需要任何解讀,因為再多話語,改變不了結果,用最簡單的方式來說……」我以手指輕輕指過公園裡的人,「現在,我當著你的面前把公園裡所有的人都殺了,如何?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAf81CFY1DOk
334Please respect copyright.PENANA7U7dFMvmzd
我的話語平靜沉穩,彷彿剛才訴說的不過是件微不足道的事。334Please respect copyright.PENANAa3rwbXifcJ
334Please respect copyright.PENANAIS8d5VgoWa
事實上,確實是件微不足道的事,對安德烈來說,卻非如此,他的呼吸隨著我的話語一窒,就連身體也為之僵硬。334Please respect copyright.PENANALUdxeyLgzL
334Please respect copyright.PENANA72JZrdxcDp
「明白了嗎?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAlj2TT3imJd
334Please respect copyright.PENANAmnj8PbPB05
「不管你有怎樣的想法,都無法對我構成影響,死去的人,不會因為你認知上的對錯,獲得第二次的生命,你口中的對錯,也無法阻止我的行為。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAoFCOEeGbxh
334Please respect copyright.PENANAGlRaYJOsuR
我的想法,是真實的。334Please respect copyright.PENANApDfVwLMjBh
334Please respect copyright.PENANAboM8Do3Qnm
我的殺意,也是真實的。334Please respect copyright.PENANAMX8NYlCiFg
334Please respect copyright.PENANAVke1OyAv6g
公園裡活動的人類並沒有發現有什麼事物足以威脅他們安全,他們的本能依然在那瞬間提醒他們作出迴避。334Please respect copyright.PENANApjPyAc1Vcn
334Please respect copyright.PENANAgi2fo9qDxU
歡快奔跑的孩童,突然陷入沉寂。334Please respect copyright.PENANAaBVD122xGE
334Please respect copyright.PENANARjkN0ygWCA
悠閒的老人沿著步道匆促離開。334Please respect copyright.PENANAWKrtgUkPpN
334Please respect copyright.PENANAIijAmL2OEd
年輕的男女開始收拾物品。334Please respect copyright.PENANAZMYB1o4a0n
334Please respect copyright.PENANArCx2UpnDuk
一切看起來如此自然,沒有半點交集卻又無比默契。334Please respect copyright.PENANAVdwFbIzSJR
334Please respect copyright.PENANAo5D8h02zKh
原本熱鬧的公園,瞬間只剩下我與安德烈。334Please respect copyright.PENANAI1vhM0XcrR
334Please respect copyright.PENANA0BZNMHbWEr
終於反應過來的安德烈,意識到我方才真的有打算動手後,一臉不敢置信,但又不是那麼的不敢相信,無論如何,他確實而良好的表達出自己的憤怒與不能接受,他猛地伸手揪住我的衣領,「你怎麼可以……怎麼可以……」334Please respect copyright.PENANAK3s08qU6hs
334Please respect copyright.PENANAq8vtwHpk47
「你想從我口中得到的對錯,就是這種程度的東西。」334Please respect copyright.PENANADLdoTwMcPy
334Please respect copyright.PENANAWu8PzoajYc
安德烈一怔。334Please respect copyright.PENANAynmdAsSxTN
334Please respect copyright.PENANAWEshZzCtvr
我將衣領自他鬆開的雙手拉回,慢條斯理的整理因為拉扯而出現的皺紋,「看,你們總是喜歡用條條框框將一切事物劃出規範,什麼事可以,什麼不行,就連對錯都要有個定論,彷彿按照這套標準活著,就是理想的人生。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAgiQ6hYWUFG
334Please respect copyright.PENANAopYFCIHAFA
「對於你們無法阻止的事,你們死守的規範是如此蒼白無力。」334Please respect copyright.PENANA0oqq0bHXBK
334Please respect copyright.PENANAKmGB2KWPTw
「你們追尋不存在的答案,不存在的假設,不存在的對錯,除了人類,沒有任何生物在意這種東西。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAQOjBfHjh3l
334Please respect copyright.PENANAlvvFtGstxB
「你們是不是忘了,所謂的對錯,也是經由人所制定的規則。」334Please respect copyright.PENANA1B8cxtiGkF
334Please respect copyright.PENANAPdc0fDFKPu
「在這個前提下,你們苦苦追尋的對錯,毫無意義可言,就像現在,不管你有多麼自責,不管你有多麼懊悔,不管你怎麼折磨自己,已然發生的事,不會有所改變,奇怪的是,你們人類總愛陷入這種想像。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAGrGHlmmxJQ
334Please respect copyright.PENANAXEN44kTbyn
「如果自己早一點發現,如果自己當時做些什麼,是不是就能改變結果?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAdniJ8TEYGZ
334Please respect copyright.PENANA5xWisWbWlL
「你們只是在折磨自己,改變不了過去,也影響不了結果。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAphQM1M2Rsi
334Please respect copyright.PENANAOP1Au88XlF
蘇菲亞葬禮時,曾出現在安德烈臉上的神情再度出現,他就這樣盯著我,許久許久,才轉頭看向前方,「我怎麼老是忘了,你只是個怪物。」334Please respect copyright.PENANArfBsFkS8UM
334Please respect copyright.PENANA9469YRSs30
我輕笑,沒有對這句話作出回應。334Please respect copyright.PENANAXhrrBW8wM1
334Please respect copyright.PENANAx6f8gnHgio
*** *** *** 334Please respect copyright.PENANAebbcLXdlGs
334Please respect copyright.PENANAEPvsxebaUn
我不是人類。334Please respect copyright.PENANA7G4IyeKvLv
334Please respect copyright.PENANAHEnjZF23iV
這樣的事,安德烈比任何一名人類都要清楚。334Please respect copyright.PENANAo431kQ5gLg
334Please respect copyright.PENANAYTMgWiWCWR
透過結伴旅行,再也無法說服自己,我可能是身患怪病,或是癖好不同常人的怪人後,安德烈經過數天的沉默,對我提出詢問,「我所知道的,是真實的你嗎?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAXgtK9qatmN
334Please respect copyright.PENANArb1fjav71P
我看著安德烈帶著些許冀望的眼神,輕笑,「當然不是。」334Please respect copyright.PENANABmQ9GnuzjS
334Please respect copyright.PENANA4UboHcQRFz
「哪怕我以人類身份出現,所做所為都符合人類社會的標準,那也只是一種假象,當然,如果你想知道我那時的舉動是否真實,我想,是的。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAJIAKE9NlVY
334Please respect copyright.PENANADHELWsMWzy
「至少,符合你們人類口中的真實。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAfa0xULA4WB
334Please respect copyright.PENANA6yDcZTCFGu
安德烈不知道在想些什麼,聽完我的話後,只是定定的看著我,最後,用比平常沉了幾度的嗓音要求,「伊安,我想看見真實的你。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAeGlsOYPxg4
334Please respect copyright.PENANA7xMJciP2PR
這回,輪到我盯著他瞧,「你真的知道自己在說什麼嗎?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAcoX9kqOBDz
334Please respect copyright.PENANAlNnqMUi1LO
那時的安德烈到底是小瞧了怪物的本性,還是將一切想的太過簡單,我不知道,從他點頭的那一刻起,他只能一次又一次的體會,怪物和人類本質上的不同,不僅僅是身體構造與能力,還有思想。334Please respect copyright.PENANAUsuDB8gxQe
334Please respect copyright.PENANAPh3bth803p
他親手撕開了假象。334Please respect copyright.PENANAmBCXNmn0m2
334Please respect copyright.PENANAoecZjvE12Q
為此,他只能接受,哪怕後來的事有多難接受,他也只能接受,聽似指責或是懊惱的話語,也不過是他對此感到痛恨,以及深切的無能為力。334Please respect copyright.PENANATYhW8Eos7Q
334Please respect copyright.PENANAGTORWPPRD3
他無法跳出這種情緒。334Please respect copyright.PENANAz3vmtXMYzj
334Please respect copyright.PENANAb5CO02UAWY
就算取得了牧師資格也改變不了這個結果。334Please respect copyright.PENANAbwOfNhhBWu
334Please respect copyright.PENANAOL1MZJ3fnL
我們久別重逢的瞬間,丟下行李的安德烈,沒有給我一個屬於朋友,或是任何關係的擁抱,就連陌生人間的寒暄或是握手也沒有。334Please respect copyright.PENANAVAdMFAxokd
334Please respect copyright.PENANAEtqcancGYF
他無比自然的朝我襲來。334Please respect copyright.PENANAhl9sd2rjP5
334Please respect copyright.PENANAeQqWNkika1
整個過程動作流暢俐落,就好像曾經在心裡,或是什麼地方,進行過無數次的演練,或是一遍又一遍的進行想像。334Please respect copyright.PENANAvvpcyftgjs
334Please respect copyright.PENANAhOZmO9N2IF
唯一的破綻,就是他在動手時產生了些許猶豫。334Please respect copyright.PENANAXFSwxr1tAg
334Please respect copyright.PENANA0oHTU2uub0
短暫到幾乎不存在的猶豫,沒能影響他的動作與速度,對我來說,已經足夠,「作為久別重逢的見面禮,我很欣喜。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAz6q2VImZli
334Please respect copyright.PENANAfutrY37g18
安德烈試了幾回,始終沒能把對準我心臟的匕首再推進半分,哪怕,我僅是以手指夾住那把匕首,我瞥了刀身獨特的紋路一眼,低笑,「我有些意外,你居然選擇了大馬士革鋼,而不是什麼銀器或是木樁。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAN5aUc9MCfh
334Please respect copyright.PENANAEOoSvZ6cvC
「以你們人類熟知的傳説,想有效殺死吸血鬼,這兩樣東西不是更加有效嗎?」隨著我的話語,安德烈施加在匕首上的力道猛地消失。334Please respect copyright.PENANAIsG1ZP1qjE
334Please respect copyright.PENANAf7LNkVDpQn
捨棄了匕首的安德烈定定的看著我,「你真的是吸血鬼嗎?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAwkGJSZMcp9
334Please respect copyright.PENANA3hH0USiIVG
我幾乎是在他開口的一瞬間,理解了他的意思,「以人類的角度來看,或許是,雖然本質不太一樣。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAZllTy1TLYl
334Please respect copyright.PENANA3imFm1I2gI
「我是否使用銀器,對你來說,也沒有什麼意義,不是嗎?」安德烈不以為然的嗤笑。334Please respect copyright.PENANAgJ1okBoXsc
334Please respect copyright.PENANAhqmF8nllEI
「是這樣沒錯呢!」我把玩安德烈方才用來行刺的匕首,同時,萬分誠懇的告訴他,「你希望我表現出對這些的恐懼?」334Please respect copyright.PENANANHi9M2kTuZ
334Please respect copyright.PENANAzjbf9TKyuj
在知曉一切的情況下。334Please respect copyright.PENANASQL3GhkIWj
334Please respect copyright.PENANAAK32qxdrOz
安德烈沒有回應,在他轉身彎腰拎起行李時,我帶著幾分慵懶,混著幾分戲謔的開口,「你知道,只要你開口,別說是你們想像中的吸血鬼,當一輩子的人類也沒問題,我可以與你們一起歡笑,一起哭泣,甚至是一起變老。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAyja031SHwc
334Please respect copyright.PENANAH46PWwbkSJ
「這些對我來說,都不是問題,也不會有任何破綻。」334Please respect copyright.PENANA9y4OyJpytj
334Please respect copyright.PENANA6XVrMqERmx
安德烈的背影明顯一頓,最後,拎起行李的他再次轉身迎向我的視線,「不管再像,終究是假的。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAH8tMVGNrWZ
334Please respect copyright.PENANA367XtloYRw
「安德烈,你不能要求真實的同時,又期望我對你作出欺瞞。」我踏著步伐來到安德烈面前,將匕首交還至他面前,「同樣的,你不能要求我在虛假之中維持對你的誠懇,即使我能做到,你能相信嗎?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAOULTnbCjRf
334Please respect copyright.PENANA0Ht0ahcwmm
這不是安德烈的問題。334Please respect copyright.PENANACe3hGgH9S2
334Please respect copyright.PENANAqVRD5nzcEb
人類皆有此種通病。334Please respect copyright.PENANA8OXaBKuBpA
334Please respect copyright.PENANAMBYc4Rqi9O
安德烈難道不懂這個道理?334Please respect copyright.PENANAGPn6RcGJsq
334Please respect copyright.PENANAOVBvEFtAEl
他懂,所以他在我是否能夠像名真正的人類,最後卻發現,我終究是個怪物的事實中反覆掙扎,一如他剛才那一刀。334Please respect copyright.PENANAF8A64ludQq
334Please respect copyright.PENANAhSajddLujc
我沒有告訴他,他的態度,決定了結果。334Please respect copyright.PENANAjPAqjVNtzC
334Please respect copyright.PENANAP8HwXPB5bV
如果他不是出自己身想法和慾望,而是為了什麼教義神學,或是世界和平之類的理由,我會毫不猶豫的結束他性命。334Please respect copyright.PENANAdbCwXyxUh8
334Please respect copyright.PENANAkj7TxZsYOk
怪物就是這樣的存在。334Please respect copyright.PENANAGy4o350VeO
334Please respect copyright.PENANAUfNUw7maf6
他動手時的猶豫,看似瞄準心臟卻略微偏了幾分的行為,無論是有意還是無心,都拯救了他的性命,再加上,他動手時看似堅決兇狠,眼神卻太過複雜和掙扎,和那些我所接觸過,硬生生把自己逼瘋的人類有些相像。334Please respect copyright.PENANA79aFsf9g8z
334Please respect copyright.PENANA147VrUtx2T
他是為了自己。334Please respect copyright.PENANAIzG91RtkfO
334Please respect copyright.PENANA8p1PWiOITD
如同他把亞里德託付給我,以及諸多的行為一樣。334Please respect copyright.PENANAWpbh9ajCHb
334Please respect copyright.PENANAjK4wPFZqn4
如此掙扎,如此猶豫。334Please respect copyright.PENANAY2Y1atJgA2
334Please respect copyright.PENANAA0riF501lL
察覺到這點的瞬間,我以滿足安德烈慾望為前提,盡可能放鬆自己,解除警戒跟防禦,壓抑自己身為怪物的一切本能。334Please respect copyright.PENANA745bRwcO2Y
334Please respect copyright.PENANALC9PxjKutF
我確實很有興趣知道。334Please respect copyright.PENANA1beVqjICQw
334Please respect copyright.PENANAuCayrguF6J
這一擊要是如安德烈所願,他會露出怎樣的神情?334Please respect copyright.PENANAsKQDVgbnG7
334Please respect copyright.PENANAH1XLVr22gV
我究竟會不會死在人類手裡?334Please respect copyright.PENANAr8VEfsOYhS
334Please respect copyright.PENANAdKq5cf8XCY
最終,我只能得到,也許他有機會傷到我,甚至微乎其微的機率可以殺死我,但不是絕對肯定的答案,畢竟,那樣的場面,連我自己都無法想像。334Please respect copyright.PENANAd4SOzXrby3
334Please respect copyright.PENANAxrcY8ndR8O
更何況,他其實不想我死。334Please respect copyright.PENANAm9tdwjvE8g
334Please respect copyright.PENANAqLfDFZ22fN
哪怕他懷抱殺意,內心卻拒絕這樣的結果,他的表現太過明顯,就像是我接觸過的那些人類一樣,掙扎,煎熬,動作的瞬間又感到猶豫,失敗時,既是遺憾又不感到意外,以及連他們自己都沒有察覺得鬆了口氣。334Please respect copyright.PENANArDAZjAPgmV
334Please respect copyright.PENANAJLbpk8ysSV
人類……不,安德烈究竟希望我是何種樣貌?334Please respect copyright.PENANADnZ6qD09f9
334Please respect copyright.PENANANdyKxuh76n
我試著告訴安德烈,他可以盡情的朝我捅刀,我會盡可能的卸下防禦,允許他對我造成傷害,安德烈確是紅著雙眼,用他依舊拎著行李的手抵住我,惡狠狠的警告我,「別說了!這種話……別再說了。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAntd99HjLwA
334Please respect copyright.PENANAV7guJZbmO0
我知道安德烈的眼神代表什麼意思。334Please respect copyright.PENANAqpRxYo3MPy
334Please respect copyright.PENANAeLl475a3J9
知道他為什麼會有這種反應。334Please respect copyright.PENANACfOUBZqBKR
334Please respect copyright.PENANAhMimh6gQk9
人類看似包容,事實上他們比誰都要無法接受異類,哪怕只是一丁點的差異,他們也無法接受,對於非人的存在更是如此,哪怕我從安德烈眼中,看見過去那些人類伴侶眼中曾經有過的情感與掙扎。334Please respect copyright.PENANAhiUtOssDgU
334Please respect copyright.PENANAzPvL5CrlL1
看見相似的痛苦與絕望,我們終究不同。334Please respect copyright.PENANA1THHqXRHUY
334Please respect copyright.PENANAyiOFtLDL3V
一如我永遠不能理解,他們口中的愛到底是怎樣的存在,哪怕我可以從他們的行為,理解他們表現的緣由。334Please respect copyright.PENANAlXkCkZVr1g
334Please respect copyright.PENANA9Q0Um1rFgY
人類對愛的表現方式,不管過了多久,始終沒有太多的改變。334Please respect copyright.PENANANOL6f5bm2h
334Please respect copyright.PENANADcaba1r0TU
怪物不懂其意義,一如人類不知道,怪物的愛情。334Please respect copyright.PENANAxNojF1yaVY
334Please respect copyright.PENANA0WDylwO3sZ
有時,我會對人類的行為感到不解,就像我看著安德烈一次又一次作出選擇,從中得到娛樂,但也不能明白那種令他糾結的情感究竟是怎樣的東西?334Please respect copyright.PENANAZXxjwQLehB
334Please respect copyright.PENANAWtLwAE1nBe
只要他開口,我便可以為他做到。334Please respect copyright.PENANAVb7PXRwEjX
334Please respect copyright.PENANAysL9s0fLkh
安德烈一次又一次的拒絕,或者該說,逃離了這個選擇,就像現在的他,即便心動,依然用那是假的為由拒絕了。334Please respect copyright.PENANA73qTFXM5md
334Please respect copyright.PENANAH7PwUbmOhA
我近似人類的反應和表情是假的,安德烈的情感卻是真的。334Please respect copyright.PENANAoZr2sqQRtS
334Please respect copyright.PENANASjMY1wMSHF
他一次又一次的掙扎,希望我不要發現,希望我不要察覺,希望我什麼都不懂,如他所願,只要他一天不想提起,不想面對,我什麼也不會說。334Please respect copyright.PENANAkhP0LvJfRu
334Please respect copyright.PENANA3uaalkQOQq
這是他的選擇。334Please respect copyright.PENANA0am8LTfL5R
334Please respect copyright.PENANAFZYwx6ezK8
那時,我清楚感受到他抵住我的手微微顫抖,就像是隱忍,又像是憤怒,饒是如此,他最後僅是用著一種彷彿送喪的語調告訴我,「對亞里德好一點,至少,別讓他知道……你其實沒有心。」334Please respect copyright.PENANABuF3yChHcr
334Please respect copyright.PENANAEKZR5qcRnA
安德烈的要求很有意思。334Please respect copyright.PENANAAJ2cHK2JG0
334Please respect copyright.PENANAhaJePyee1I
我認為他不夠瞭解亞里德,也可能,他從來不曾瞭解過亞里德,亞里德說不定比他更加清楚我是怎樣的生物,但是,安德烈如此希望,「你是說,陪他演上一場鬧劇?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAfpsQtD9t59
334Please respect copyright.PENANAGZiEUGS5BJ
「也許我該說,是演出他心目中吸血鬼該有的溫柔與體貼?」334Please respect copyright.PENANA5R4lKJdtZq
334Please respect copyright.PENANAXzLGkjlGC0
安德烈的呼吸為之一窒,他若無其事的鬆開我,神態卻顯得有些狼狽,「你要記得,他是我弟弟。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAdN6j8f78eC
334Please respect copyright.PENANAMv4mstv6r9
「好的。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAlU3bSb7Xr6
334Please respect copyright.PENANAbcgqMwZecg
我對安德烈的承諾不曾改變。334Please respect copyright.PENANAhxx60ek9QF
334Please respect copyright.PENANAIFqxcObbYm
他希望,我就怎麼做。334Please respect copyright.PENANAZpo9Io3daW
334Please respect copyright.PENANAdt86Ry5W09
不管是關愛亞里德,還是拋棄亞里德,對我來說沒有任何差別,承受煎熬的是安德烈。334Please respect copyright.PENANAnxhtgVPCmM
334Please respect copyright.PENANACpdNnjBD64
我沒有問他為何痛苦,也沒有問他為什麼那麼難受,因為安德烈不希望我知道,我只需要將目光移向遠方,假裝自己什麼都沒發覺就夠了。334Please respect copyright.PENANAU8xpBnUKGt
334Please respect copyright.PENANA5BLm6frva1
真實與欺瞞,本就不可兼得。334Please respect copyright.PENANAPtZI1XeVQZ
334Please respect copyright.PENANATg4v6rsuek
安德烈並不是對自己的想法毫無所覺,事實上,他自個也看的很明,有幾回,他像是再也無法忍受的伸出手,試圖跨出那一步,最後卻縮了回去,儘管我知道,我只要在那時輕輕推他一把,或是主動點伸手,就足以改變許多事情,我依然保持沉默,不曾有所做為。334Please respect copyright.PENANAYbvIJ8UXTS
334Please respect copyright.PENANAPpZ2hOhz3t
我能給予的,從來都不是人類渴求的愛情。334Please respect copyright.PENANAphJaUAlKZo
334Please respect copyright.PENANAcvwoWYuxPp
安德烈心裡清楚,所以,該作選擇的,不是我。334Please respect copyright.PENANA9GvFHhxWjq
334Please respect copyright.PENANASa9n3oFnMY
我將自己的需求與想法,真實的擺在安德烈面前,不勉強也不強迫,任憑他要掙扎還是抵抗,冷眼旁觀。334Please respect copyright.PENANAl4mrsN7jYM
334Please respect copyright.PENANAH7MdaQWGTs
要求我只能吸允他鮮血的安德烈,某天突然問起,如果他這一生都不再提供血液,對我會造成怎樣的影響?334Please respect copyright.PENANA41pLsrpCq4
334Please respect copyright.PENANA41tJ0Z0rHK
我不知道他是期望聽見我說會餓死,還是我會忍不住饑餓的襲擊他?334Please respect copyright.PENANAxFaqNNn7EP
334Please respect copyright.PENANAa4RgJypWXH
最後,我只能坦承的告訴他,也許我會感到饑餓,但也不是那麼難以忍受,我有足夠的自信,可以熬到他死後,尋找新的食物來源,說到這,我覺得剛才的回答也許不足以令他理解,於是又補充了句,人類有足夠的數量可以滿足我。334Please respect copyright.PENANAn4nUmvNOxV
334Please respect copyright.PENANAqnrSCW7v2a
安德烈聽完,低著頭沉默許久。334Please respect copyright.PENANA9V67HQ0aeB
334Please respect copyright.PENANApWCorBIAuQ
那天,以他主動拉衣領,露出脖頸邀請我進食作為結束。334Please respect copyright.PENANAg3L6wmtH6d
334Please respect copyright.PENANAW1vEMIQIq5
*** *** ***334Please respect copyright.PENANA9T6eyMGFyI
334Please respect copyright.PENANAIoEEEHTkcD
安德烈與我一直維持著彼此心知肚明,但是他不說破,我就裝作不知道,他也裝作沒發現的假象。334Please respect copyright.PENANAiCbWQnMEc7
334Please respect copyright.PENANAsCJMYKmNt0
直到亞里德掀開一切。334Please respect copyright.PENANACJt4vKZN0b
334Please respect copyright.PENANAZbbjIH9ONF
安德烈依然試圖忍受。334Please respect copyright.PENANAIecXT1uuKP
334Please respect copyright.PENANARbHQKNQ1ae
他活至現在,在我面前最大的失態,只僅是他醉得一踏糊塗時,揪著我的衣領,說著些連他自己或許都聽不懂的醉話,偶爾,裡頭夾雜著一兩句,混帳怪物、混蛋吸血鬼。334Please respect copyright.PENANAFCFX6YSoMl
334Please respect copyright.PENANAsxMZ3ptAqO
唯獨那麼一次,他將頭靠在我身上,悶悶的詢問,「為什麼你是個怪物?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAGwz5nGPXAO
334Please respect copyright.PENANAEgEiDabhwH
安德烈的話語充滿疲憊與絕望,這些平日不會出現在他身上的負面情緒,他一次又一次的問我,為什麼我不是人類?334Please respect copyright.PENANAMEsUWp8S6M
334Please respect copyright.PENANA9ZUIirHWf9
為什麼我偏偏是個怪物?334Please respect copyright.PENANA4TGcNKfxcm
334Please respect copyright.PENANAhrobRjDBXi
我知道,酒醉的人類沒有理性可言,不管他平日看起來多節制自抑,這時和他們講道理是沒用的,我有無數的方式可以敷衍安德烈,他醉得厲害,明天醒來,他興許連自己曾經說過什麼都不記得。334Please respect copyright.PENANALpHW9v4MAD
334Please respect copyright.PENANAlosjqQkQJK
饒是如此,我依然真誠而不帶欺騙的告訴他,「沒有為什麼。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAw0CToDAjyK
334Please respect copyright.PENANAILU9PasPbv
「會糾結這個問題的,只有你。」安德烈瞇著眼睛,像是在傾聽我的話語,也可能只是他的習慣性動作,如論如何,我字字真實而堅定的告訴他,「鳥為什麼會在天上飛,魚為什麼在水裡游,你知道後,鳥就不再飛翔了,魚就不在游水了嗎?」334Please respect copyright.PENANApQmpa2oLzl
334Please respect copyright.PENANATuWfJrdBM9
「人類可以藉此研究,造出飛機或是潛艇,但也改變不了這個事實。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAQbDMO4GZ5n
334Please respect copyright.PENANAbeVrDdGlCu
「你們最多能做,不是折斷鳥的翅膀,撈起魚不讓牠呼吸,就是奪走祂們的生存環境,或是限制牠們的活動空間,除此之外,改變不了牠們的本質。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAImTfTtLx59
334Please respect copyright.PENANAYFsWuZRJCC
安德烈難得的露出迷惘神情。334Please respect copyright.PENANA3WAMXWv94w
334Please respect copyright.PENANAxNeH9AUYNm
大腦被酒精麻醉的他,顯然無法好好思考這些話的意思,我歎了口氣,用著更加誠摯的語氣告訴他,「安德烈,美人魚褪去魚尾,終究只是童話。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAGouOwYM3GL
334Please respect copyright.PENANA7Igxb2JK7u
「沒有任何一名美人魚會為了人類放棄尾巴。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAgNRr3yzt5J
334Please respect copyright.PENANAP0D8IKm55S
安德烈的確醉了,否則,他不會以帶著幾分不敢置信,還有些許受傷的神情看著我,「就算她無藥可救的愛上王子?」334Please respect copyright.PENANARWgTcN5Kia
334Please respect copyright.PENANAQiwoZDRrNe
說完這話,安德烈屏住呼吸,眼也不眨的看著我。334Please respect copyright.PENANAaGHflMCkK7
334Please respect copyright.PENANAlb604dLnhI
蘇菲亞死時,我沒有選擇謊言,現在,我同樣不會欺騙安德烈,「美人魚若是真的愛上王子,他根本不可能活著回去。」334Please respect copyright.PENANA7oaDHEKBBM
334Please respect copyright.PENANAEhf3bPHLpa
這才是怪物的真實。334Please respect copyright.PENANAHd8OT4Kry7
334Please respect copyright.PENANAHujShKRnXE
倒回沙發的安德烈用手臂遮住自己的臉,「你不該告訴我的。」他的語調聽似平靜卻透著一股索然和深沉的無力感,他用這樣的語調再次重複相同的話語,「你不應該告訴我真相的。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAiyAhKQ4ir2
334Please respect copyright.PENANAHFD3Wi0DpB
我不知道安德烈指的是美人魚和王子的愛情,還是我讓他發現自己身為怪物這一事實,「無論怪物看起來和人類有多相似,怪物終究不是人類,人類也無法成為怪物,從你選擇真實的那天起,我就不斷的提醒你。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAcc4Kl93Ow9
334Please respect copyright.PENANAN09qymAAMG
「我很樂意說些能使你高興的話,但是,你想聽的是這些嗎?」334Please respect copyright.PENANA3jVuDV4u9d
334Please respect copyright.PENANAEr5Kg4NX2g
安德烈並沒有立刻回答我。334Please respect copyright.PENANABUI1pKZ6ir
334Please respect copyright.PENANAoCGxmianl1
他沉默的時間,足夠讓我將一團糟的環境收拾乾淨,就在一切恢復原樣,只剩渾身酒氣的他還癱在沙發上時,他悶悶的開口,「不,伊安。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAMf8doKS3OL
334Please respect copyright.PENANAkJqPe8oHRE
「這樣就好。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAxXZ0SfTUFk
334Please respect copyright.PENANAiXEZqjuxmb
「即便那會使我們的關係更加融洽。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAlhbwiV9QJu
334Please respect copyright.PENANA2uu3AHZaFX
我可以用各種美妙的話語,讓安德烈感到愉快,可以用無數欺瞞,堆砌出他想要的結果,但是,我只是告訴他,「是的,安德烈,你的選擇,你只能接受。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAk9Xlf4ZAzd
334Please respect copyright.PENANA4ov4SvICIq
安德烈沒有再說什麼,抵抗不了醉意的他深深睡去。334Please respect copyright.PENANAtSARGzymPS
334Please respect copyright.PENANAM9iLZ8MG5W
我自備用寢具裡拿出一條嶄新毛毯蓋在他身上,並且對著毫無意識的他,用上低語,「做你自己想做的事就夠了。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAa6ty7NKkOZ
334Please respect copyright.PENANAXX1e2zURm5
人類總會被怪物與其相似的外貌舉止所迷惑。334Please respect copyright.PENANAE3CLY3w1pe
334Please respect copyright.PENANAyBBgpQAuRX
無數的傳言總會加上那麼一筆,怪物學習人類的言行舉止,用自人類那學得的一切來誘惑人類。334Please respect copyright.PENANAz5EOK0Qmbh
334Please respect copyright.PENANAOdBKStGqZT
事實上,真的是怪物在迷惑人類嗎?334Please respect copyright.PENANAMIrCMIJaF4
334Please respect copyright.PENANAi064Isw3P6
又或者,是遙遠過去的人類,因為憧憬怪物的強大與美麗,不知不覺間,向怪物的舉止靠攏,模仿怪物的言行。334Please respect copyright.PENANA6Gsr9fLpVv
334Please respect copyright.PENANA5XXKVUshRg
怪物或許為了融入人類世界做出偽裝,但是,我們的本質不曾變化,我們知道自己是什麼,為何而生,知道自己追求的是什麼。334Please respect copyright.PENANAIryUOdTb7l
334Please respect copyright.PENANAEztLlhGezp
人類不然。334Please respect copyright.PENANACrCXL66GaG
334Please respect copyright.PENANAeoCjl06NNq
他們早已忘記,自己終究只是世界的一部份。334Please respect copyright.PENANAqLZ2TaaYSx
334Please respect copyright.PENANAhIOzE1eSKW
我轉身準備離開時,不知何時回來的斯芬克斯湊到我腳邊,「不把他搬回房間?」334Please respect copyright.PENANAYRPK6D7fCE
334Please respect copyright.PENANAKFVLk4rN7q
我看了一眼通向房間的走道,低笑,「他其實不怎麼喜歡。」334Please respect copyright.PENANAFWg0qFK8h2
334Please respect copyright.PENANAg61IhXQDcX
那個被亞里德改造到面目全非的房間。334Please respect copyright.PENANAK8nthdar2w
334Please respect copyright.PENANAwZIAAm1YIA
即使,那是他自己的選擇所致。334Please respect copyright.PENANAVxmzvZogTG
334Please respect copyright.PENANAqawpwYBYPE
334Please respect copyright.PENANA16XERB9jso
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後記:334Please respect copyright.PENANAHPM54HCmm1
334Please respect copyright.PENANA5XXz0JR90M
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【月夜狂想】
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【月夜狂想】
Author:
血染黃泉/不染風月
ISSUE #39
第三十八章《人與怪物》
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