兌現唔到嘅承諾 - 主人

「我、我、我一直瞞住你哋，係我衰！係我唔好！」

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無論阿欣同我拍拖嗰陣有幾開心，依段始終係禁忌嘅關係。

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唔係咩不倫戀，只係我諗佢同我一樣，覺得一直收收埋埋好攰。

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諗下諗下，依個幾月或者對我哋嚟講係必經階段。

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我唔知佢，但係我反思咗好多。

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「我冇尊重到阿欣！冇尊重到你哋兩位老人家！好對唔住！」

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我咁大聲，應該有好多人望緊我。

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依家唔係留意旁人眼光嘅時候，我要專心埋尾。

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「但係如果可以嘅話，可唔可以畀多次機會我？」

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唔係每樣嘢都值第二次機會，不過我相信我值得。

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世伯同伯母你眼望我眼，好似唔知講咩好咁。

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阿軒放低電話，大概係準備聽佢哋嘅答覆，阿遙同阿生亦都望住佢哋嘅背脊。

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世伯望住我，話：「唔係我可以話事。你真係要機會嘅，親口同佢講。」

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咦？我係咪得咗？

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我仲預備咗好多嘢要講，咁簡單就得咗？

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「你做咩喊？」世伯問我。

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「我？我冇喊啊。」我抹走眼角嘅眼淚答：「係啲眼淚自己流出嚟，我冇喊。」

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「喂！」

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阿軒撲低我，「係咪要請返餐大餐我食先？」

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我想抹眼淚，但俾佢壓住抹唔到，只能夠笑住講：「你想食咩？」

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「等你真係得我先同你講！」佢拉起我身。

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我抹乾眼淚，見到阿遙同阿生對住我笑。

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世伯用一樣咁嚴肅嘅樣同我講：「你今晚上嚟食飯。」

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「係！」

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要著咩衫好？我喺屋企諗緊依個問題。

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是但著？係好natural但係有啲hea。

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太認真又唔啱個氣氛。

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我諗嚟諗去，決定當係陪我女朋友出街咁著。

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時髦又唔太出眾嘅組合。

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估唔到我終於嚟到呢一步。四年前嘅我一定唔會估到自己呢刻會做緊依啲嘢。

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唔好講四年，半年、一個月、一個禮拜已經可以有翻天覆地嘅變化。

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改變可以喺一日入面發生。

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我喺約好嘅鐘數去到阿欣屋企門口，遲遲唔敢撳鐘。

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個幾月嚟第一次同阿欣講嘢，我要講咩先？

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對唔住，我係衰人？

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太造作。

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就講喺嗰個moment個腦入面想講嘅嘢，信自己。

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「叮噹。」

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我撳門鐘，鐘聲喺屋入面傳嚟。

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我以為會係世伯或者伯母應門，點知開門嘅係阿欣。

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佢咩都冇同我講，我都唔夠膽講嘢，佢up咗下頭之後拉開閘開門。

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我入屋除鞋，阿欣閂完門同我講：「跟我嚟。」

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我冇問佢去邊，愕然咁入咗佢間房。

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世伯同伯母唔知喺邊，唔似喺屋入面。或者出咗去拎蛋糕。

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阿欣間房鋪晒粉紅色牆紙，好多公仔。

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電腦檯、窗邊、床、衣櫃上面、地下都有公仔。

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床嗰邊嘅牆掛咗好多畫——佢畫嘅畫。多數係風景畫，唯一一幅畫人嘅係佢嘅自畫像。

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雖然擺晒公仔同畫，但成間房睇落好整潔，好似博物館嗰種井井有條嘅整潔。

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冇一個位好多餘，每樣嘢都擺喺啱啱好嘅位。

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著住淺藍色短褲同白色T恤嘅阿欣打側瞓喺張床度話：「坐啊。」

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「坐邊？」除咗電腦櫈之外，我見唔到間房有其他櫈。

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佢指著電腦櫈話：「張櫈應該啱你坐。」

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「好。」我坐低。

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我對住阿欣，佢個樣睇落唔算開心，反而似覺得我好麻煩。

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我係第一次入佢間房，做好由佢講嘢先嘅心理準備。

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「你要講咩？」佢問。

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係囉，要講咩？

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「我鍾意妳。」

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