【原文出處】
https://www.penana.com/article/1606896
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5VIJkmWYy7
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOmQEAONaoh
以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp4ijfpkoth
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5WiGxjHHX
感謝參與～108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEaYIxhlka
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt83zbYETQt
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡniw7HmN4aa
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67pEMJgMYs
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdMPszIHdu
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3hok5uW9Ud
～～～～分隔線～～～～108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVIUub5JmG
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6BW61NaSM
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS7Qe0OFDN5
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIeoudgm3FJ
〈限制和自由〉108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGoq4eSR2Ye
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3oCRycpPmQ
penana.com/article/1024895108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50Z4vMZaBL
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1Ypexix7c
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK1Z1lGhOC1
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdUrcm555lX
詩度 0。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstl4DJgFUs
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbO9WlapsVD
～～～～分隔線～～～～108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdj4aORLiIf
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjdq1tG8ovB
〈問〉108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFZ0mbBPvXC
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcw5jAhWbKo
penana.com/article/1024944108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGewkstLCe4
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ29Upf9h0qF
詩度高一點。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdbJgytAIo
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQPkMTugYw0
～～～～分隔線～～～～108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRenGkEuyBr
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl2sJDQKV6V
〈摩天之輪〉108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡawVrh7AatH
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5aSOzgrNQm
penana.com/article/1045705108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD3aVt8WyP0
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ67sgZHOwkz
詩度再高一點。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaoiEsiTLnU
～～～～分隔線～～～～
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6XsIOgrFHu
〈蝴蝶酥〉108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1s9oRwt4ki
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡISp5EJfKeJ
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMmC4jm59AK
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM2gsEswbrU
詩度比前三首都高。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGR6VdNNJt6
～～～～分隔線～～～～
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiUVRihXSrG
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMOr27PUKPo
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwug4VkMH1j
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOd7qKAMCJi
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxg6Pq9sa6N
跟你分享。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl0WgOHFhC2
～～～～分隔線～～～～
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCJpk4yUdy
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bIHeGr1X1
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFKSin5ZjP3
【認識新詩的基本元素】108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS9c9Fjw6jY
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV0jgcdHa7R
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboYLGe46QC
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRugttynmPy
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdpCeZK2Wea
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbNrSUJotK3
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnWipRnXNEd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeyzkqBkckH
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nvuZTbrbV
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSfgaunWvd
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVOdjgx010S
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF13dVfyz0I
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkGRoQ3KhJK
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVBApXyatXm
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIOzDwTezXY
【這次全新寫的感想】
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡotRlMCPkj0
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉為例：
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp0Xlkp2JhM
〈詠栗〉
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCbvdITkEGl
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx6HEWKXqOt
剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiEXliSf6Qr
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwG96QnF7NA
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGGLCeJnKw
如果寫成
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9JdLraiBAv
〈詠栗〉
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxenFZx1atg
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvZR73cJPnX
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW8BD1DKwdL
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6hxDJn0SiH
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0WN9HoYaT
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWwI5psGXas
當然，詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
108Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvGeoi5gYGs
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
ns18.218.8.36da2
然後按「加至主畫面」