【原文出處】
https://www.penana.com/article/1606896
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SPS2qgkFM
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以下是我看到某參賽作品以後，所寫的留言轉正文，供大家參考。
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmrXkgFSeM
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感謝參與～162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhrkiU0ZrZV
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPdjb8F8eH
老實說，這篇給我的感覺不是十行詩，是散文十行。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfACmdNBp49
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz4qyMh1nJX
雖然文章有哲理，但是詩度很低。詩的要素，如節奏、意象、音樂、譬喻都很平淡，甚至欠奉；內容太趨近說明，解釋過多，太黏了。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCgZXc8w8Pj
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPITcqfWg35
～～～～分隔線～～～～162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDuvbKmOxm
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa8oFG8i3YK
我回頭看我自己寫的詩，有些也算不上是詩，例如162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nGtUdT3R0
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〈限制和自由〉162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfabQNOb019
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9FNaXLbmQD
penana.com/article/1024895162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3dgMfO9XVA
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0gO8R5H7mL
現在看來，我覺得它不是詩 (但為記錄故，還是收進詩集)。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiro7C5DaBs
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YAf1UVf7N
詩度 0。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WO6fvTJKx
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1gJ2oDP631
～～～～分隔線～～～～162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0xqGBO1hHO
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo4WCwcFs01
〈問〉162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiFFmYGXBS1
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penana.com/article/1024944162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBuBsxG2CSp
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJXOAAJxNd
詩度高一點。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi722WY9QnU
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6fuRMJ97ck
～～～～分隔線～～～～162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA9RCGBJwE8
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7cUQVtTpem
〈摩天之輪〉162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiIdyIFj2LZ
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGahv3dKV9l
penana.com/article/1045705162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBQuW9NZC0
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZdWF9IArFF
詩度再高一點。
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～～～～分隔線～～～～
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSSE4t9fmOh
〈蝴蝶酥〉162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEkqLS5fAET
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgZhRy1dnm
https://www.penana.com/article/1597713162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUMv0tx2C2F
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詩度比前三首都高。
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～～～～分隔線～～～～
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09yi6PIFhE
我最近在看台灣詩人蕭蕭的詩論，詩人有句話簡單卻有道理：「詩，是『換句話說』，『再換句話說』」。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡU58M2NOs3Y
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUHLW8LR7D3
我在筆記本上面，寫下自己的句子：「詩，是常句和變句的雙人舞。」162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5yY6JDPa2o
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBcHbKhO6mC
跟你分享。
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～～～～分隔線～～～～
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ24Gxu0oQ57
此外，這篇連結文章也可作參考。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcLdFD56qDn
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡors0uMT3ib
【認識新詩的基本元素】162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjVwXvMIako
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ30xaOIpxy8
blog.udn.com/shesiya/113597193162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsym6kaHGaU
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEP6Mt9lYi2
我之後應該會就我最近對新詩的思考＆自己詩作/非詩作的例子，寫一篇文章放在我的《寫詩這件事及其他》裡面。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ89LTxNJkpJ
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162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAevdsLhEQ
【我後來回答參賽者「希望較符合你的標準」的留言】
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZB25Sr38KU
這不是我的標準啦，算是台灣詩人對新詩的定義。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCU27Yfss1O
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82OZzO9df7
第二版「詩度」有提升，因為用了複沓/排比結構，綿延的音樂性增加了。162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfKdW2YyIlb
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0dfvy1snEQ
寫詩要多看詩，也不用急，我檢視自己這兩年多密集寫詩的成果，發現好多不熟的，甚至是皮球假裝成果子的，哈哈～
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162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKv5iagXPOq
【這次全新寫的感想】
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡngGCg0orlP
我拿自己青澀的詩果，甚至非詩的皮球作例子，無非是希望讀者能做個比較，認識一下不同詩度的詩，長什麼樣子；這裡再拿我寫的〈詠栗〉為例：
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〈詠栗〉
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKI8LQkF0HE
殼斗，第一層愛
張牙舞爪威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
豐美的內在
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剝去愛，尚有
木訥果皮和刻苦種皮
無口而全然
環抱整個子代
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0X6q6cuaT0
充盈在手中打開
當秋天到來
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡduJ2AcvBpr
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7QBhgqAECu
如果寫成
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〈詠栗〉
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlhoOkjfPDL
殼斗，第一層皮
長滿尖刺威嚇
眾鳥獸，為了
內在的果實
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbpkTq4Qdn
剝去殼，尚有
木質果皮和苦味種皮
沒有裂口而且完全
包覆整個子葉
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm194NJ0KIa
栗子在手中打開
當秋天到來
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkiX7QV87g
詩度就不見啦，成為一篇分行的散文，而且是說明文。
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJdbUNYnp0W
會寫詩的讀者，可將自己詩裡的詩句 (＝變句)，換成一般常用的句子 (＝常句) 玩玩看；而苦惱於抓不到詩度的讀者，反其道而行，將自己作品的句子，改動幾個詞彙，以「一般不會這樣用」的語詞 (也可改變詞性) 代替，或可抓到一點詩的感覺。
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當然，詩的面向不僅在於詞彙，但這是一個開始。
162Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEShkpJKEOn
祝各位被詩淋透，不，淋得半濕就好。
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然後按「加至主畫面」