「黃昏看綠雨灑、長城難寄蔭下。
來去是麈煙事、莫教蒼生憔容。」
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「黃昏綠雨灑,長城難寄蔭下。」看街燈一盞一盞滅去如風,我借天色佳美之名與她相約賞月、品一番五城大師的茗茶。冒雨吹影間,麈煙滿佈,鼻子竟泛起了落麈。這城是天真與年少的夢,怎可想一分一分慢散似灰。看街道人煙如雲,個個是塵。究竟落寂抑或滿患更教人驚懼?是一身紅旗袍。然,我終看衣是浮華,妳卻是我存活的藴。無奈輕狂了五個春秋,候了三生三世,還是沒能窺見妳如約而至。
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從前正值學堂之期,我總喊天喊地。先生不喜我,便種菜去,曾以為便要如此,至老死也活於釁困之中,鬱鬱終。從街上杳茫的霧中,有個男孩棲身於此。然天寒地凍,怎忍心叫他白結了這青春年華?便問他,可願意賭一把,跟這父走,他答,我以後會化為塵,離你而去,去到迂迴的城裏,你可接受,我應:可。自此身旁便多了個人影,此番說起來,當真是多麼糾結不清的緣。
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落日大道上,街上有個佝僂的身影,聽大家是喊他老伯,但都不喊他。我叫孩去給他送幾文錢,我立於不遠處,便凝起神來,看老伯那深邃的眼眸。見孩已走前,老伯的目光忽地恍著閃縮,便把目光放於孩身後的紅牆青瓦。我沒由來一顫,一手就拉起孩的手疾奔,沿途華光如星眸隨時而運,天空頓化成丹紅一片。彷彿我踏過的土地,盡要張狂地龜裂。
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「小伙子!」從後背如飛龍般縈繞來的聲音,使我停住腳步。身上的長袍仍應風搖曳,肩上髮絲胡亂交錯、難分難解,是我第一次以為自己當真是塵。
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「不過是片殘缺之幽,比不上你的大好青春!」老伯大喊。
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「此話怎講?」我回頭。
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「舊城不過是片麈,別把虛榮當真。」聞言,我再看那片青瓦,伸手用兩指一掃,掃出血來。細看,便見瓦踏實不平、和老化、脫落出一片又一片的殘骸。手裏用力一捏,便化塵。我想,祗不過行將就木罷了,難成舊城多年無處安放,原是落泊人的心。
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「小伙子,難得有心回舊城哪?」老伯笑看我,邊搓揉著他的膝蓋骨。
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「祗不過足是年少輕狂罷了。」我苦笑,理好袍襬,拍拍身上的灰麈。
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「懷念嗎?」「呵,有啥懷念,難道要戀想舊城了?」老伯樂了。
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「對,不懷念。」孩插嘴,「終究還是塵。」
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看雨停了,舊城也該緣盡了。它終會化為塵,如灰煙消散,一片憶記亦不遺下。在夕日底下看影,沒有一絲懷念。我從椅底翻出一壺茗茶,一飲而盡我便把茗茶拋去,以灰煙祭葬一杯而終。見街燈逐隻過去,我起身,踏上舊城的每一塊土地,感塵埃滿天,不教人憐息,但卻為感世之道。如今城光正好,是一絲又一絲情愫交織,成愛成恨,
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終皆成麈。
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