許多時候，我會莫名其妙感到憂鬱難過。明明沒有發生過特別事情，我的憂鬱難過於旁人彷彿無病呻吟。於是，可以開解我的只能是我自己。我會獨處或散步，調整心情。
「去哪？」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTyFcXrVgb
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUbbxlWRLt
「急事。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkZRjH8DicA
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusVcRBq8DW
「你不吃晚餐？」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2yBUqVlyFZ
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA8yTxLpxM3
我沒應答，逕自出門。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIVb5KdAN00
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCJhnUksm5
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjvb64tLo9L
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD8UhOYhZH8
難以言喻的鬱悶。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7blx0eXx8N
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsDz6tMjwU
長嘆。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjybFphZyR6
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qHDktlwOe
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToYdNcioxt
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXmeg76bieq
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrsevZDONf4
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvOA0iTp3bn
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDiLiIal6y
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzvdzeaXdlL
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ83APOtfrYA
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7n28Ea8mT
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Qiti92LV2
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFKwRQy9QZ
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MKxqhmTdN
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHbdhH3is2z
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi9teeElTNS
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB4dD1c30fh
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe1aUFtW9G9
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEiE8EW1lkN
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmSAk5sW8y
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG9tLwUAKdU
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRNMAVNtS3X
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlWYK2CFis
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4X4m2dgDg
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZKNBgIKqaT
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrjptJgs4tI
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4bLYJ3TtaI
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NpjLIQigi
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFm01fEoBD
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvphjikEkku
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbqLHGp7NF
註定的。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNDdE2vas0v
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzt8m5kY9N8
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nJNip0x53
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuyPRdBkzs5
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDPD3HKjwm
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ64VCQr06K
停步。猶疑。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6LujrHyaSh
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbl6hMp5wnd
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡivljsVWMlv
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzB6srJpuSi
轉身。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTgY6YLnYwk
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs6P3lyUPOX
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1Kcr2vYQr
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPG1hlZo4td
我回身走去。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDFVFlWXUxx
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRIoJ01Sxus
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAJzB6uBouw
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMCEBiCkPT
把小狗抱入懷內。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfOMB3lU5zt
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfsicg4tJYv
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRORp8v3igB
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Kppy8SGh8
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQb9Jb4xGma
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLOedMzznIH
海風？海濱公園步道？249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQNyVpzOR9y
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaRRZkt2mRO
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBA6sgcJd4G
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwuMPibMuJq
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6VTE6ClqEk
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ59QJEs0NjD
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWGdfW1zlHr
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZsFhwQlaNb
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡou7oqMfzpn
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIlz1Fk9lC
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRadM54btHN
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYGRxhkhELa
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrAno8IsmlN
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhi4OM97HFG
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMG9kJN8joR
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXuXQ01jOh1
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoOVg00Lvn5
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz9tedY9phj
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsKDN4kJBwA
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwXJkxkKHL2
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxIPG82zSv7
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ehdTnuw9r
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡssJCBaxCFx
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPUChh1DLT
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSjbGU61jIf
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn7Vz0Zz2ho
鬱悶何來？249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAgVPbtvXX
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN6yChNhj8Y
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZuvwX9Dlyx
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHuT7s0SfQX
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfYp2NP5Arr
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj9AOLd7syr
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5AQFj1XfHH
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiAccMNVd5
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstgzmiW300
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpqIzY9xdRG
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvsXxFyOJbV
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe5151puvEd
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1MvSWCMr56
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtNdKsDdR5q
然後呢？根本沒有然後。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4U5qK6Vpf9
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡomu3Doc3xu
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgRyxkAEIYK
249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRJ3xTGrux
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。
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