許多時候，我會莫名其妙感到憂鬱難過。明明沒有發生過特別事情，我的憂鬱難過於旁人彷彿無病呻吟。於是，可以開解我的只能是我自己。我會獨處或散步，調整心情。
「去哪？」267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGlQhx6omnz
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGAhvnU29f
「急事。」267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw32li65abd
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkt1GErHz4h
「你不吃晚餐？」267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfS6YMNOlSG
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnDaPO3y3m
我沒應答，逕自出門。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tFxZkCdcU
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsikChfR5cg
冬夜六時。厚衣下的溫暖身軀與袒露的臉和手，不協調感令我忐忑不安。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHQBFjqcPyT
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg7YJlCMVXr
難以言喻的鬱悶。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhbBfAHyZU
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy1MlefOfJR
長嘆。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKq02v2uzZo
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQvlqu6EEzF
「紅萬。」我邊說邊掏出八達通。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7s2hriZwlx
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhbyAXPCSak
店員爽快從身後陳列架取來貨品，熟練在收銀機屏幕上點點按按，然後給我贈品——果汁味肉乾三小包。我有意無意瞄了瞄她的臉。大眾臉，過目即忘。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJm69ANKQmD
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4KHHs78nkW
「不需要贈品？」她驀地抬眼，與我眼神對上。是發現我的無禮目光嗎？267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfPJgRLRVw1
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31GLYQE960
「我……錯認是口香糖。」我慌忙編個爛藉口，連忙接過香菸和肉乾。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIcB2ljaQv
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3cXsqjY5e
她假笑，沒再搭理我，拿起抹布四處抹。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrB8cZHVQjF
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDf7SMT4vHE
我走出光線充足的便利店，重踏漆黑夜空下的大街。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyTLYMjweb9
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡThd94JA6y3
另一種不協調。另一種忐忑，另一種不安。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡShhfG2KDWg
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobtHPQ6rZE
櫥窗五光十色，路人絡繹不絕。人潮亂中有序，不約而同在紅色燈號前止住，然後在綠色燈號亮起當刻同時邁步。一致得神奇，一致得可怕。並肩而行的男男女女在過路以後分道揚鑣，不為曾經的遇見生起任何印象或猶豫。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ9OABslUx6
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JqsSxIkrj
心血來潮，我莫名其妙拐到小巷去。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWz2wgfff2r
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq0h97ovrdX
污水，雜物，廚餘，鼠餌，坑渠。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1VxnGrSDzr
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Al5QD98z4
髒，亂，腐，毒，臭。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5ZjCavc7Ot
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxvKFstijmS
為何要到這種地方來？不是捷徑，不知盡頭何處，不懷目的……267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5iDklDfiK
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBYcAluoNDO
小巷盡處是另一小巷，盡頭以後是另一開始。路接路，走又走。不停前行，像是正在找出口；絕不回頭，像是不打算找到真正出口。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZxPT4MsKF
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIHC3zwgGSt
厭煩日常走過的路，不欲重覆。若問想要到甚麼地方去，其實我沒有答案。很奇妙。眼下似乎有很多選擇，實質一切已成定局。那是大街，這是小巷。大街在明，小巷在暗。大街繁華，小巷冷清。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYNY4SHNIoU
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡarzgIPb2Nx
註定的。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxqqCRd2nGy
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7NXprfVEb2
冷清小巷盡頭會有好東西麼？我不相信，亦不願輕言不相信。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj6ZglwCnoA
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡprra1slHGI
汪——汪——嗚——拐角傳來狗隻悲鳴。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBsumPMlmtr
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf3giXdbQFP
停步。猶疑。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4SpI2QVv0F
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrC1ziUuwTN
惻隱？慈悲？然後呢？根本沒有然後，因為我自顧不暇。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiuneAeujPf
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPUzecmh7xb
轉身。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoc2EAbfsuv
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡusOcfB2fLs
汪——汪——嗚——拐角狗隻再次悲鳴。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbAcaussRyO
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifRHIKuhWa
我回身走去。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJq9ZtDotU8
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5j7UIhGLCu
惻隱？慈悲？不，好奇罷。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDgTXu9MCCL
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5P7qJ5L9bR
把小狗抱入懷內。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1rMMRO8zY
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTflNNc92he
「暖和沒？」我傻傻自語——嘴巴極需要說話理由。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GQwmuB7ap
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrgmgu3W78O
陣風從後疾過，寒意夾雜水氣與鹹香。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh1IArQDrXi
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO89h8FxzDJ
海風？海濱公園步道？267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ57vFtAITdo
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡELpcHLpjOa
「一起散步去吧。」我沒期望小狗會回答，但我需要溜達原因。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsaDNCyAqiU
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhSVXkyIs6d
多拐兩個彎，我帶著小狗在兩幢高樓之間走出來，恰巧看見銀月自海平面升起。清澄，純淨，圓滿。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiodson7OQ3
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg1LP8muqTL
「看！這是月亮。」我指天示意小狗往上望去。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1s2lURYHc3
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHZKhg3w65V
汪——牠回答，但沒有依指示抬頭。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NiDm8TACs
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAXCv22HisW
「找個好地方坐坐吧！」為免小狗中途跑掉，我微微拉下外套拉鏈，把小狗往內塞。牠沒反抗，甚至懂得稍為伸出頭部，方便呼吸和看風景。我真慶幸剛才沒有對牠視若無睹：「乖。」267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡReC7h81yaF
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMe0igsnpLv
銀月清冷，步道冷清，寧靜。心跳規律，呼吸有序，乏味。回憶很多，未知更多，迷惘。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe228UyvpTD
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP3z0aXvAjq
「我上一次來海濱公園是小學畢業後的那個暑假。與幾個特別要好的男生相約到來踩roller，跌了幾跤，膝蓋流血。明明怕血，明明怕痛，偏偏為保面子而強說無事，硬撐一整天。結果翌日膝蓋腫黑大片，痛得要命，不得不到醫院求醫。結果在醫院留醫足足兩個月，九月中才可到新學校上課。」我在路邊長椅坐下，拆開一包贈品肉乾給小狗充飢，報答牠聽我發牢騷。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHwAHmENyI9
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRCqpPk4SHZ
「留醫期間，我生氣朋友們不來探望我，打算出院後臭罵他們一頓。出院後，我忙於學校課業，忘記致電他們，然後順理成章忘記他們。當我再次想起他們，已是高中畢業的事。」我點菸，一吸一呼，虛假短暫的舒爽。「其實沒甚麼大不了，無需要記在腦袋裡。但事情就是發生過，不是說忘記就可以忘記。」267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDJttsbkxLz
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFy2xvCPOko
記憶零碎，思路紊亂。嘴巴想要表達更多，無奈腦袋運轉不來，沒能將感受化為言語……算了吧。反正小狗根本沒興趣聽下去。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIjZegK3BlX
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBwRRXHVdp0
「你似乎對肉乾比較有興趣。」我又拆開一包肉乾予牠。牠吃得津津有味，舌頭不時舔舔嘴邊，甚至舔到小小鼻頭。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4YwaHNOm8Y
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Y4A86GTGy
我笑，笑牠傻氣可愛。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMiDu7x4CGv
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0j7b84Gxpd
又吸一口虛假短暫的舒爽。又呼一口難以言喻的鬱悶。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFp4Pd1mbYX
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx1kvSlX2QS
鬱悶何來？267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ZWeQMKm69
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡajOogMF83F
學業壓力？愛情煩惱？家庭不和？267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDGs6ldJ3UT
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2CJsIRieRK
也許統統都是，也許統統不是。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ96wvsgT9oU
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY04BPNufqY
多件零星不順心瑣碎事湊在一起成為一股無法消弭的鬱悶。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡodkK1kbwss
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSP5yPOKZlu
有如一根經過繁複工序生產的香菸。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQAbEmVzPH4
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUW02yjPrW5
有如一塊由豬肉、糖、鹽、增味劑、醬油、香辛料、護色劑、色素組成的肉乾。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fi5sa1XRo
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPxqVaiaBNG
「好吃吧。」我又拆開一包肉乾。趁小狗專心咬嚼，我彈走菸屁股，將牠從懷裡抽出，來個深深擁抱。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdDwhMW4Dw9
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGQuxxQ4tNr
然後呢？根本沒有然後。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxmxsjqnA5N
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2XWCYxPGW9
我輕輕放下小狗，動身邁步離開。267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPGibDzzql1
267Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXd6WcDKFfD
正如牠知道我身上沒有更多肉乾，自然而然不會跟上來。
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