Lucy?" I raise my head in alarm. "Lucy!" I turn to the familiar voice. "There you are!" I feel warm arms engulf me, pulling me, soothing me.640Please respect copyright.PENANAVJ5RtyWzn0
"Ray…" I choke out. Ray releases me and looks at my tear-stained face. He takes my hand and slips the blade from between my fingers, his eyes never leaving mine.640Please respect copyright.PENANAP40XXgbkuJ
"Lucy," his voice is broken. "Please tell me you didn't."640Please respect copyright.PENANAJTCIGRQtXS
"I-I didn't." I take a deep, shaky breath. "But I almost did." He turns his head and shuts his eyes.640Please respect copyright.PENANAo7hxCgK0Qc
"Promise me something, Lucy." He looks back at me. "Promise me that you'll never cut again, OK?" I nod. "If you ever fall back to this place again, call me over. I'll help you, Lucy." He grabs my hands. "Promise me."640Please respect copyright.PENANAqS5xtSYT3t
"I promise, Ray." I whisper, tears leaking out of my eyes. He pulls me into a tight hug, breathing out a sigh of relief. He kisses the top of my head and then moves back…640Please respect copyright.PENANACHmCtntotP
640Please respect copyright.PENANATfRw4fddLA
I open my eyes and stare at my wall, but it's not there.640Please respect copyright.PENANA9AfYon1AtL
My blanket is hanging off my bed, my clothes are strewn across the floor, my hair is sticking to my wet cheeks and the window is shut, enclosing me in darkness.640Please respect copyright.PENANAN0pUD23WhV
I feel nothing but pain and agony. A dark cloud is filling my head, making me seem heavy.640Please respect copyright.PENANASJx85i1wX9
Fake.640Please respect copyright.PENANAouW2raxxzW
Not myself.640Please respect copyright.PENANAj7Q4kOW0rH
The silver blade is shining, piercing the darkness with an evil light. It taunts me, challenges me, dares me to touch it, to pick it up and to use it.640Please respect copyright.PENANAKJP3rIsW42
Oh, Ray. Where are you?!640Please respect copyright.PENANAvO2n3c69C6
"I'm going somewhere with my parents and we won't be back until Friday. Call me if you need anything, OK?"640Please respect copyright.PENANAq7fWMBZPW7
Help me, Ray! Help me!640Please respect copyright.PENANAnFE01eBlwg
I punch in his number and put the phone to my ear.640Please respect copyright.PENANA3fuqpTdG1k
Voice mail.640Please respect copyright.PENANALA2dbxGdBp
I try again.640Please respect copyright.PENANAvMAVbt0rWT
No answer.640Please respect copyright.PENANASPcC8Wqz8H
I frantically pull at my hair, curling into a ball. I shut my eyes but a few lone tears escape. I shake my head, trying to pull myself out of my despair and trying, somehow, to pull myself together. I'm falling apart, breaking down.640Please respect copyright.PENANAZGj1B9rAww
I can't. I must stay strong.640Please respect copyright.PENANA4o34Rq1syM
My tears come faster.640Please respect copyright.PENANAXmospANk4s
Keep it together, Lucy. Keep it together.640Please respect copyright.PENANAFp7IFMuChA
"Ahh!" I scream, pushing myself back. I lose my balance and fall off my bed, crashing to the floor. I cover my face with my hands, shaking, sobbing.640Please respect copyright.PENANAb8A6aX5nr6
"Ray!" I cry out. Please…640Please respect copyright.PENANAmd8QGUssOJ
My hands fall to my sides, my hair a knotted mess. I stare silently at the ceiling.640Please respect copyright.PENANAPq2SwfEC1F
Is it really that high?640Please respect copyright.PENANAKE6Z57lOhg
I curl up on my side, staring into the black nothingness under my bed.640Please respect copyright.PENANAWfFiJLpJU0
I must move… I need to move.640Please respect copyright.PENANAxbeKcJmd2x
I eye the door.640Please respect copyright.PENANAwk9rdjsyKj
I will myself to sit up.640Please respect copyright.PENANAucWFgQ42Px
My room turns upside down and goes blurry, my vision faltering. I still and wait for the dizziness to pass.640Please respect copyright.PENANA00mODCp9eS
I blink once – twice- and then sit on my knees.640Please respect copyright.PENANAFBZOdwapmG
I focus on the door.640Please respect copyright.PENANA0KKLVH2pUt
I crawl forward.640Please respect copyright.PENANAghFo1mCgSC
I need to get there.640Please respect copyright.PENANAYv3XwENT8H
I slowly try to stand up. I advance, pushing one leg forward and then the other, and repeat.640Please respect copyright.PENANA7yB8TnXnnJ
My legs are wobbly, broken.640Please respect copyright.PENANAR22DcEW49d
Just a few more feet…640Please respect copyright.PENANAQ3F7t2kfCT
I reach out my hand and take another step-640Please respect copyright.PENANAZgUiFzeSHF
and collapse to the ground.640Please respect copyright.PENANAuwO668K13m
"No…" I try to stand again, but I can't get up.640Please respect copyright.PENANA36bKA9QGpO
I grab at my bed sheet, trying to pull myself up. I feel around, grabbing at anything I possibly can. I grasp closer to my blanket and freeze as I touch something cold. Sharp.640Please respect copyright.PENANAOEgUuMFODD
I suck in a breath.640Please respect copyright.PENANAQSv3VzAEfd
A chill of excitement and fear shoots up my arm, down my spine and spreads through my body.640Please respect copyright.PENANAW5hJgzGKL0
I bring the blade closer to me, another thrill flowing inside me.640Please respect copyright.PENANAox5NeDyVMQ
Just once.640Please respect copyright.PENANAhWOXBlAeY2
"Promise me."640Please respect copyright.PENANAOemPRTqEeF
"I promise, Ray."640Please respect copyright.PENANApZWOi90ivH
No, I can't. I promised him.640Please respect copyright.PENANAlCAk6X9Gar
But it'll feel so good…640Please respect copyright.PENANAf3fERYv1dm
I study the blade, turning it around in my hands.640Please respect copyright.PENANAF7Id3q0mEG
It'll be quick. Just one cut.640Please respect copyright.PENANAuwSatTEF3J
It'll heal quickly, faster than normally.640Please respect copyright.PENANAAENXe1KH2Q
Now's your chance, Ray… I look at the door, waiting for him to walk through and stop me.640Please respect copyright.PENANACrVpsrI51k
Anytime, now…640Please respect copyright.PENANAtxp5yDajSH
My vision blurs. I feel drops on my skin.640Please respect copyright.PENANAgQaR5vumCR
Is it raining?640Please respect copyright.PENANAXq3qRtyuBC
No, that’s impossible.640Please respect copyright.PENANACHEwAY9zeV
I can't see.640Please respect copyright.PENANAtpGx3tzAhe
I try to take breath but I choke up, a heavy weight sitting on my chest. A rock is stuck in my throat.640Please respect copyright.PENANA7Gm5fy6Fih
I can't breathe.640Please respect copyright.PENANAm4B09s9Cpy
I thrash around, clawing at my throat. I make a gurgling sound, trying to swallow.640Please respect copyright.PENANAsWtyrP2LaB
What's poking my leg…?640Please respect copyright.PENANA4Er7E43rCu
I look down, choking on air, and spot the blade.640Please respect copyright.PENANARHqrqg4qc7
How did it get there?640Please respect copyright.PENANAlTluhmIKSl
I take it and hold it closely to myself.640Please respect copyright.PENANASEb5lokJvY
How can something so evil look so beautiful?640Please respect copyright.PENANAVzNk5kYazU
I bring it down to my wrist and shiver.640Please respect copyright.PENANAMFLRda01Lh
So cold.640Please respect copyright.PENANAPGDd29vOhM
I press down and drive it across my skin.640Please respect copyright.PENANAoMRprRyZFY
I let out a shaky breath that I didn't know I was holding. My blood drips warm and red down my arm.640Please respect copyright.PENANApPhg95RPpB
I take another breath.640Please respect copyright.PENANArdCeG82Znh
Another.640Please respect copyright.PENANAoYgEupwXiA
My breathing comes harder, faster.640Please respect copyright.PENANAcId50077i2
I slide the blade and cut again, slicing more of my skin. I gasp, my arm stinging. A groan escapes my lips as the pain takes its place, the sick pleasure mixing in.640Please respect copyright.PENANAQuJgvS5teD
I lean back, resting my head against my bed.640Please respect copyright.PENANAtUpv3oOhwD
I shut my eyes tightly.640Please respect copyright.PENANAgxDKFdh2xL
I should not have done that.
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Billy-Rose
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Young Adult
Short Story
Angst
Last updated: Aug 29, 2016
Total word count: 938
Total reading time: 4 Minutes
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